You know, guys, I'd never tell anybody this, but I'm actually kinda glad.

Yeah. Why would you never tell anybody?

Because I don't I don't know. People you know, we have a history of not being the most successful people in sometimes people say, you know, you guys are quitters or you guys are, you know, getting out while the getting is good, you know, and

i think you have some survivors guilt. I think that's for

that helps. That's a great analysis.

Yeah. And I just don't want people, you know

but this wasn't a failure. It was a choice.

Yeah. Yeah. Well, our job.

When I was in war and I I had the most friendly fires of all time in one day.

Right. And I They keep those stats.

Yes.

Gosh. I thought

you guys could do that.

Three

point nine o a r

excuse

me? No. Baseball. Oh, three point nine DRA. DRA -- Yeah.

--

for friendly fire. I I was up fourth every time they seemed It was incredible. They're like, here comes the clean up guy.

The amount of grand slams you committed with with May fifteen is amazing.

Right in the back. Mhmm. And I, when I got home from war, I had survivor's killed. Right. I should have. Yeah. You

should have because you're out for the reason these things

are That's what survivors go. Yeah. Oh, that murderers go. Yeah. What that's A lot of these murders, they have murderers guilt.

I have to stop you.

Okay. Okay.

I have to stop you. Thank you for your service.

Okay. Thank

you so much for your service.

Hey. Thank you.

Hey. And everybody hear me say that? Thank you for your service, Todd Pod. Todd, Todd.

Thank you for your service, Todd. Because it's always really important to remember who to think.

Todd Yes. Thank you.

No one said that to you after you were a preacher. Right? Thank you for your service. No.

No.

And you were pretty mad about that. You sort of stomped around the doughnut brunch afterwards.

You were loud at the doughnut brunch, you gave your pastor speech?

That's the thing. The whole point of the doughnut brunch is to tell the preacher about how well he did.

Why why are the doughnut free.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, and by the way, if you're the preacher, you get to the brunch last. So you know what that means? No more good donuts. So I'm sitting there eating long, twisted Maple bars

with no confidence.

That's the

best one. Yeah. For me, I'm I'm I'm twisted. Walks

by. They don't they typically don't twist the Maple bars. They're they're not bars anymore once they've been twisted.

Well, what happens is sometimes if

too many people grab for

the Maple bar, which is not bad. The same time they get trum jumbled up into a little braid.

I see. So it's

more of, like, it's from, like, the heat of people's hands.

Well, and I saw you, you were sort of sitting over in the corner with the whole sort of big selection of weird donuts, and everybody was giving you a wide berth. I mean, you think people would come right up to you.

All the way around.

Right. You had that one made out of Oreos look like cow chocula. Yeah, well. And you were not happy. Very little dough, mostly cooked

well, here's the thing is we thought that nine dollars for the hardest heat donut in the world was a good business plan.

Oh, yeah. We ran worse doughnuts for a while in town. Never anything you want, never a glaze, never a chocolate covered, never

well, we we have a chocolate covered, than I'd type of bowl of cheerios. I didn't

give it to you. All of ours were things that kids look to look at, but you don't like to eat. Exactly. That was our

well, we sort of said, like, what's the problem with the donut store? Doesn't look enough like the Apple store. You know what I mean? Donut stores should be fan year, you should have to spend twenty or thirty minutes in

there just to get a dollar And our donuts would have would be covered in glass so they could break. Yes. And then this fucker opened a kiosk at the mall and started just repairing our donuts for half the price.

Unbelievable. Luckily it burned down.

Yes. Fuck us.

He's I remember it was luck.

It was lovely. Luckily and burned down the same night we were seeing on the security cameras. Ben or Paul Saul stop file.

The fire department did rule luck, not not arson, they said luck.

And that has nothing to do with us slipping them a little bit of cash.

No. No. Dan hydrants. They get paid with hydrants. They get paid in bright red, high Have you

ever noticed how much these firefighters love hydrants?

They're obsessed with them.

They're not

more than dogs peeing. Yeah. Yeah. They like dogs peeing. Well, firefighters will go after the mail too.

Yes. The mail.

Not the not the mailman. The mailman, the mail. Yeah. Well, you guys have

firefighters Just sit down when you get to your chair. Nope. They do three little turns and they smell it, and then they sit down.

That's right. That's right.

But I love when a firefighter shakes. I mean, it's one of the easiest tricks to to teach him. Or her?

Yes. Absolutely. Dogs being tree forever has to be treated like dogs can be any gender.

Yeah. That's really modern. That's modern. And we're modern.

We're modern. We're modern now.

And we're bearing the lead a little bit, folks.

Yeah. What were you guilty about?

We're we, you know, had to make a big announcement this week, you know.

We went public.

We went going public with our we went public with our big announcement that we have to some, unfortunately, to us, fortunately, in the money sense, we have decided to liquidate our asset, which is the third street health wellness Center.

Yes. Here. But due to an incredible offer, incredible offer. Well, it's because we had the most joints in the last three weeks of any gym in the country. Uh-huh. Yep. Skyhigh -- Right. -- membership. Mhmm. And we we we took advantage of that, and we sold to Walberg.

Look, we sold the Walberg and the Walbergers family and we were I'm not ashamed to admit it. We were in over our heads

--

yes.

--

and we got into something quickly that we thought was gonna be good and fix our lives. It didn't. And so we quit and made a lot

of money.

But I could say -- Powerpoint,

that you made.

Thank you

that was it was un because we were in over our heads. We were hemorrhaging money. We had a lot of stuff to hide. Yeah. But we put on a brave face like all business people do when they sell company -- Yeah.

--

and

and they lie about it doing bad -- Yeah.

--

and trick somebody into buying it.

Yeah. And I'll tell this I was I was shocked. I wanted, you know, I wanted to not necessarily go the the full lie route, tell, you know, make it seem like everything was great. So I did include a couple of the sort of less than savory items. For example, I informed Walberg of the scheduled Ocrevis versus the big towel fight.

Mhmm.

And he was excited.

Oh, are you kidding me? You would think that's a bad thing. You're gonna have a huge towel right fighting a monster. A monster or right?

He's just got a business sense. Yes. He has turned some of the worst things known to man in two money

--

mhmm. -- over and over again.

Well, we've all seen his

hit It's being weird.

Well, and a lot of times, probably due to his Hey, you

know, Mel Gibson.

It's and a lot of that is due to his schedule. We've all seen the schedule that he highly publicized.

Well, it's just a big motivation for him buying, I think. Yes. You mean

well, if you wake up at two AM and go to sleep at four PM every day, you have so much time. You you have to fill your days. So what else is he gonna do?

Well, it's it's as if he wrote what would to maybe the ideal dating profile. I get up at two. I work out for three hours, I pray for four.

Yeah.

I hang out with my brothers who are dumb as rocks.

I have breakfast with my family for fifteen minutes.

I sell burgers that are lie in lime green boxes. And then I go to sleep at midnight. I mean, that's, like, great. Get, let's go on another date right away because you are a man who has it together. I wanna

i don't wanna date someone who has friends. You know, or like things they do that can include me.

Have you noticed famous people don't have friends? You know why? Because they're too busy being famous.

They don't need them.

We don't need them. They don't. Because they're friends. They're loving and adoring audiences.

That's why I never got

famous audiences hate me, but I have a lot of friends.

You have a

lot of friends.

I'm thinking from

all right now.

Oh, yeah. There's

oh, well, there's o j?

No. I stabbed him. Remember? Yeah. He's in the hands.

Dang.

Dang.

Oh. Well,

you're therapist?

You're a mannequin therapist.

Yes. We crossed the boundary as far as the therapist plans on relationship. I wish.

Go ahead.

What other boundary is there?

Friendship. You get your friends with the therapist.

Right. You do everything to the therapist except sex

is what we thought. Yeah. Right.

But anywho yeah. Howard, you really killed that presentation.

Thanks.

Who is it? Fifty slides.

Fifty fifty slides. I only I used the template on them because I you know, if it ain't broke, don't fix it is what I always say. And the tenth A lot of

because the middle was just fill in this space here.

Yep. Warm. It's some

i love you.

Hey. Hey.

But you guys gotta admit. I sold

that Lauremipsom like it was like it was you did,

the title. Laura mipsom bro.

That's awesome. Yeah.

Yeah. I kept I kept saying it. I kept saying it. It would come up in there and be like and and gross revenues for the last quarter at our snack bar.

But what was really crazy is when you got a bidding war between the Walburgs and the Baldwin. Yep. That was And the

brothers started bidding against each other,

and it was All thirty of them were in

were in

the audience. And and The ones you know and that

you don't know. I'll auctioneer.

Hey. Come back in

that was it. Yeah.

He wouldn't even wait on people to bid. He would just start going up. Before there, I'm

going Oh,

yeah. You

knew. Be all the way up for

and you had the biggest you were hidden behind your belt buckle it was so big. Oh, well, I

say this. If you're an auctioneer and your belt buckle doesn't touch your hat, you're not doing it right.

You rolled in, like, Jesus's tomb's rock. You rolled in, like, the door to Jesus' do.

A lot of people are saying, is it just the belt buckle that's oversized? No. It's also the hat, the boots, and the pants.

And when you say sold, usually they hit the gavell, you're doing the carnival strongman hammer.

Yeah. Yeah. That was unbelievable.

That was great. And so event actually the the Baldwin were outbid by the Walbergs and it you know it was a big talk amongst the New England fake liberal racists.

Yeah. I will say it was tough to run

the whole thing Because we kept having to pause to talk to hear about Alec Baldwin and talk about how much he had missed his kids during this. It was it was really hard to see him so distraught and actively participate.

And we kept saying, Alec, you should not be here. You are going through some really serious, heavy stuff. You're We don't need you on social media, and we don't need you at an auction for a gym. And he said, this is the most important place. Well, yeah,

of course, of course, has murderers remorse I mean, there's not a We've all

been there. We've all been

i I will say it is great being amongst such creatives as an actor. I'm I'm sidling up next to Danny Walberg.

It's gonna say.

And we are really talking acting me in the Walbergs, and it's like,

i noticed you had a really what seemed like emotional conversation with Donny Walberg.

Yeah. He's so good. Because he's not vaccinated. Is that why? It's what he said.

Oh, because I've always wondered, like, what is so weird about him? Do you know what I mean? Like, When I watch him on blue bloods, I'm like, there's something that feels sort of alien ask about this guy.

I went to an acting class the other day, and they sucked my Moderna out of me, and I was able to connect with -- Right.

--

tennessee where you spare foot the park like you never believed. Right. Right. I was barefoot in the damn part. They they bled me like a snake at a rat snake invention got my maternity out into

a shop.

Me and my teeth.

And speaking of Bill, thank you so much for taking us to a rattlesnake invention. I guess, we all know what you're talking about. And I don't receive anything like this where it's the whole convention where they just

be It's the coolest convention you could ever go to. Well They milled these snakes.

They revealed the twenty twenty three Diamond Back, which which is it's teeth lift up now.

What do you if you guys remember, I was brave enough to get up there and try to accept some of the milked venom into the

cup. Right.

Of course, missed the cup went right into my hand, and I had to go to the hospital for ten years. This was back

in the dorm.

So the hospital

was black. Whole where you can spend ten years and it feels like two days.

And Oh, yeah. You went to Christopher Nolan. Take Christopher Nolan. Take it, Sabrina.

You get in there, you're so confused, but you walk out and

you're like, that was good.

But can you tell

you You also came out uncircumcised.

I was fully uncircumcised. I was re circumcised. You recircumcised.

Which is we all remember that also from the extended version of interstellar. Literally, the extended version is kinda Oh, there's two.

Oh, it's a little bit more down there. But I'll tell you what the craziest part was, was it didn't even feel it didn't even feel like I

was in a

coma for that long

--

mhmm. -- because the whole time you're under at Saint Christopher Nolan, you're just hearing that really peaceful

yes. There's so many

the, like, beeps and oxygen machines are all designed by I wanna say Gore verbinski, but that's not his name. Hans Zimmer.

Yes. All of the nurses there play untuned tubas as hard as they can every few minutes.

I think it's once you go to one Saint Christopher Nolan's Hospital, he'll put you in the rest of them.

Absolutely. Yeah.

That's right.

Well, Cillian Murphy's the mayor of the hospital.

He is the mayor.

He's absolutely Unfortunately,

the only time he was ever in a hospital before was the beginning of twenty eight days later, so he thinks you have to be buck naked. Speaking as

a tumor size.

I don't remember. I don't remember that.

That's

right. You don't remember any male nudity at most.

That's right. I don't remember that part. I must not have watched

yeah. You you forgot about five minutes of hollow man, I remember.

I yeah.

I don't remember that.

It's just the naked guy.

No. It doesn't bother me.

Anyway, we did I we'll we'll probably I have to say that was all jokes, what we were saying about all the negative stuff about the Baldwin They're a great guy. The Walbergs because the Walbergs bought the business, and I think it's the first

six that we can The greatest thing there, but we're recording right now from a boat. We quickly bought a boat.

Right.

And let's get in

here Sorry, just to pee back on Todd. None of the Walburgs or the Baldwin are weird. No. You just have to clear the air because I know how it seems about every single one of them. They're just not that weird. No.

Look, think of anyone in your life that has eight kids in their family that all wanna be actors. What could have been wrong in that family? Nothing.

Right. Right. A healthy family has maybe one maybe two kids

three would be okay with.

Three would be fine. They're all normal.

I live. Close to each other more. It's not weird. They're all fine.

Yes.

They don't compete with each other. Oh, happy for each other success. They love it.

But we I am so happy to be out of the literally being underwater or figuratively being underwater as far as emotion Lane, what's going on there? And now on top of the water recording in the boat we bought with Walgreens

don't wait that is lifted off of your shoulders when you simply have one.

I was gonna say too. The the thing that I find interesting is that when I think back to all of the memories I have with you guys, It's us under pressure. It's us with something to do. Yes. It's us with a big goal in the discussion.

My size baby. My size baby. Oh, boy. That's pressure.

Empowered. Stop no.

Collaborate and listen.

Ice is back with a brand

new invention. But how are you around? No. It's just

it's nice it's nice

i think I think we spent our whole lives, you know. Every school year you're working towards the end of grade tests or the your final exam, then we go, you know, we go to camp, and we're working towards the talent show.

Yes.

I think if ever there's ever there's always been something. And finally

we right now, we said every season and how it ends. We're not gonna remember an audience -- No.

--

but you know

--

yeah.

--

under pressure in

a lot.

I didn't know. Until we got wealthy, I did not I had never heard the word crostini. Mhmm. I've heard it six times this week. Right. I eat every Well, that's

obviously, when they brought it out first, you were mad because you thought it was a Brandy Martinez.

Well, and now we all know a Christina is a type of animal that lives on the bottom of the ocean. Yes.

We're all smart and rich. And they tasted a lot, like, overly toasted little pieces of bread.

That's right.

No. But they're

but they're little crisp

yeah. It's like the crabs or crostinis, lobster the crostinis.

Tramp our crostinis? Yes. Yep. Yep.

Yep. Shrimp to Christmas. Yep.

Yum. Yeah. Yum. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. But yeah we we do work so well under pressure and and I will say Howard something about your meditation and acceptance of your cowardice you were great in that room.

How dare you?

I clammed up being around some of my heroes.

I actually couldn't believe how small you got, Todd. It was shocking. Look, Todd and I

i showed up in Calvin Klein briefs.

I'm embarrassed.

Busing out over the top of the waistband. To impress Marky.

Yeah.

And he he liked

it. He liked so.

You don't spell my Marquie anymore.

He loves being called Markie. Right. Right.

But I think Markie bothered look. I think maybe that's the type of thing where you have to be showered. You have to be showered and wiped if you're gonna wear that.

Right. And I just walked. Well, we, of course, We don't want any undy touch tushy.

What was it? Yes. What is

it? Yeah.

It's right over.

What? Underwear touched tushy.

Underward If underwear

touched tushy, it's bad.

Yeah. So we had our briefs billowed out, so they weren't touching tushy. And they showed like

and and because y'all did like they do with those little wacky waving inflatable tube men where you had a little fan with a little like tube running in your underwear

so they

were just kind of

--

yes. -- inflating

with deflating -- Yes. -- kinda

--

blew my test goes up over my eyes, and I tripped and fell face, like, that worked. And I accidentally bit myself on the parts.

Right.

And what you just started saying that word because you hit a certain age. Right?

The park?

You got hit in the park.

Yeah. You caught the parts at around seventy. Yeah. But

like don't wanna make other people hear the word.

Peanage. Yes.

But I I I I we we did our and then I I taught we lost the room and I did get very small, and I I felt like -- Yeah.

--

you know when you fuck up early in something and then the rest of you, you're playing in your head.

But you

knew it.

You knew it and you stopped. I think that's huge.

I just

went to the coffee station and I just kept refilling.

Well, because if there's brown all over the undies, you don't know. What's up?

I spilled a lot of coffee on my

cell phone. Yeah. I thought that was really wise. And I situation you were in.

I, of course, had hooked up not air to blow out my but helium. And I was quickly turned upside down, floated up, hot air balloon, little basket, a proposal in my basket. So I just stayed up in the air -- Yeah.

--

and let the couple Italian guy pulling on your toes

to make you go higher. Eventually, filmed crashing into the countryside.

Eventually, eventually, did that?

Eventually, filmed. Yeah.

Wow. Media hungry father pretended his son was stuck

in you. These media hungry fathers have we had it with them or what?

Yes. Absolutely.

Go to an audition.

Go you do it yourself.

Just be an actor.

Yes. Enough. Yes.

I my daughter recently wrote a book. I I will be glad when my father's dead.

That's awesome for him. Good for you.

It's tough

that you're still alive

lord yeah. At least one woman whose name has just given me waited till her mom was dead to write her book. I'm glad my mother's dead. But, yeah, my daughter Yes. She would be glad when I'm dead, and it's a whole bunch about

unless, Donna.

It seems like a bit of her problem.

Well, if she had been a famous actress, she went her

well, you wrote a rebuttal. Right?

I said, you'll be sorry.

Yeah. Get the wrote

a book called. Be sorry parentheses. I'll be glad too.

More books need rebuttals. And, yes, I'll be glad too. I don't wanna be here. I failed with my daughter, obviously.

And you followed her on her book tour. You were right up on her heels at every library she went to. Right?

Like, how big stickies.

I was at yes. I was having how big stickies.

You were laughing. You? You were following your daughter around letting out big stinkies in the library.

That way that way each of her booked signings was unpleasant -- Yeah.

--

and and that was sort of what everybody was left.

Did you lead her? Did you leave big big stinks in the library for her to come into? Or did you follow her and leave big stinkies? Because that would only have tattoos behind you. Were you in front of your daughter and even if you could sneeze her behind.

I planned it pretty poorly. I was after my daughter. And so I was living big stickies for Malcolm Gladwell.

But that way I'll be his audience loves I would say. Yes. When they liked it, they're he was going on a book tour trying to get people to come back to the office. Right?

Yeah. You know, there's a reason big stinkies are actually good. Yeah. Okay, Malcolm. Let me hear your little debate.

Wait. He was he would spell your asshole for ten thousand hours. Right?

Well, he's gotta be a professional.

Yes, dude. If you don't practice what you preach, I am not reading anymore.

And so he does have a new book out. It's a sequel to Blink. It's called stink.

It's about how if could smell somebody right away. You could tell a lot about them.

And we should trust our initial nose.

Yes.

I do think it's an interesting choice to go try to go up against him head to head with the same haircut, Todd.

Will you malcolm? Yeah. Sure.

Yeah. Well, I was real who wore

it better. You both made us weekly. And they did for a minute. No one did. Oh,

this was

both in the shade. But seriously, seriously, I think our move out of the gym and into whatever comes next is gonna be a really positive thing for us because now we have flexibility.

And you know, isn't it gonna be cool to just be able to sort of, like, ride with the wind literally in the boat. And and and hey, if we wanna spend a day in Costa Mel, Mexico, we can.

If we

oh, Jamaica. We can go.

Well, finally, no more eking by on this teacher's salary, your Hollywood agent's salary, or whatever. You know, we actually have some money. We have a nest egg -- Yeah.

--

now that we can choose what to do what we want with it.

Gosh. It's cool. And and we've pooled all our money together to create an investment account, and we're taking meetings with young hopefuls It's really -- Yeah.

--

do you investing in the future for other people, not just

serving ourselves. What we wish people had done for us?

Well, and I think we're finally moving up in and away from the world, you know, which is really good. As you get successful, you move up and you stop talking to anybody behind you. Yes. You know? And I'm really excited for that moment we don't know anybody anymore.

All the people we need to know live in our nice little neighborhood -- Right.

--

and and even then we don't really know, we just see them in passing in our teslas.

Yes.

Yeah. And we try not to talk to him too much because then you create a relationship and you have to talk to him constantly when you're pulling up any time. So you gotta keep it cold.

I find if you only ever wave, it's the perfect it's the perfect amount of interaction with somebody. Don't ever say a word. Just kinda like a friendly wave, they think, oh, that's we have a rapport. It's a nice guy. Right. You don't ever have to say a single word.

And Todd mentioned it, but he buried a little bit a little bit. We all bought matching Teslas

--

uh-huh.

--

and we drive them all at the same time, wherein whenever we go anywhere, and we always park right next to each other. It's cool little game.

It's awesome.

And we we we paid the extra ten thousand each for autopilot, so we crash into each other all the time. So that's really cool. We take hard lefts into each other

on and out at all times.

Well, we've been running a lot of

those philosophical experiments. Should the car turn and kill one person or should it keep going? And maybe kill one person or should it keep going and definitely kill a lot of

them. Right. Yes. Yes.

And we've been doing both.

We've been doing both. It turns out you can it that is just the thought and you could kill everybody if you wanted to.

Yes. Our cars actually input our personal preferences, the movies we like, what we we we respond to, and it tries to it tries to kill us all the time. Yeah. Because it can tell that we're bad for society. Yeah. So it drives just straight off the cliff

all the time.

It's so funny. I got it.

Yeah. Did you guys get in trouble for inputting that your favorite movie was boomed saint? Yes. You've got me in trouble.

I think it went off when I also put favorite song, Boondock Saint soundtrack, and favorite book novelization of Bounduck's sake.

Congrats. What's odd, Pod?

Favorite hit job, that documentary that poorly

yeah. Whatever. Don't input your likes and dislikes. Into the Tesla because it will weigh if you deserve to live

with your

that's the thing I'm curious about with you guys is now that we have all this access to great technology, What are you giving them? Because it's hard

to trust these big tech companies -- Yes.

I have never told the truth in a single online form.

No. Yeah.

Never wants -- for you.

--

different name, different address. I don't put the right amount of money.

And that's why you're always under audit because you never get any of your tax forms or anything at home?

Well, it's it's it gets tougher. You know, my my accountant who I will pay him. He you will. I will.

You owe him money.

I owe him a little I will. I owe him a little bit of money, and I owe the IRS a little money. Because the the trouble is, I don't keep good enough records of the truth. So I can't do it for real. And then my bank accounts all look crazy. My accounts Yeah.

But don't I lose respect for your accountant accountant if he's behind on the payment from you. It's like, how do you want me to pay you if you can't even collect I pay

yeah. Yeah.

It's like, hey, you want money

to count it like dirt.

Of course. You have to. It's your money.

Like going to a doctor doesn't know where his own damn hands are.

Right. Yeah. I've been asking the grocery app that I use to not track or follow me at all, so I get groceries I don't want. And it's pretty cool. Like, it's pretty nice. It doesn't track me at all, so it doesn't know anything about me.

All the suggestions or stuff you would never normally get.

Yes. It's farm raised shrimp over and over and over again, which I love. I love little slimy shrimp. I'm obsessed with it.

Yeah. I

think farm raised shrimp should be everywhere. Why are we why are we cooked why are we eating real shrimp when we can dig a hole, put some plastic in that hole, and throw shrimp seeds in there, and just let them

shrimp don't feel enough like bugs yet. You know what I mean? Yes. The shrimp feel too natural. Yes. They don't look disgusting enough. Yes. They put different enough from everything else on the planet. Yeah. I want them to look sort of creepier, I guess.

Yes. If my shrimp aren't from the Midwest, get get away from me.

What how's your shrimp garden going?

Oh my god. So I've got it's really good.

I've seen a

lot of Instagram pictures of you tending to your garden

pretty much.

Well, you know, you have to have a hobby on Instagram. And you gotta show it. You gotta show it. And I I get out there. I've got thirty thousand shrimp in one square foot.

Thirty thousand shrimp.

Yeah. You know, they're micro peen craze. Bill's doing it with shrimp.

Micro shrimp. So these are sea monkeys.

These are sea monkeys.

A shrimp.

They're shrimp.

They're shrimp.

They're shrimp. They're Some of them

are a little crunchy. Yes. Some of them are sea horses, but they're shrimp.

Yes. It's it's all about branding and what you call them.

About it. Yes. But I've been selling to most of the restaurants in the LA area. They all buy my stuff. And it tastes like trash.

I love that. It's fun to see. Shouldn't it? Yes. The sea is fifty percent trash now anyway.

So let's

be honest. Well, Mine says shrimp, and it has a little c up by the p of the copyright. So it's not shrimp. It's shrimp. And if you read the bible, this is shrimp tasting meat. So And

then there's a little asterisk by meat.

Yes. Yes. Yes. And there's the down in the asterisk, it says vegetable. And there's a little

asterisk next to

the vegetable. Yeah. Which says not vegetable or meat. It's just stuff. Yeah. So

and then there's there's another asterisk next to the stuff, and it says,

oh, that. It says practically dirt is what that says. So you have to get you have to put it on a little slide and take it to a local high school and view it with a microscope to read it. But it's going really good.

That's awesome.

And that's just what's so cool about having money to spend on things because you can go in any action you want to any day and give up, and it doesn't matter. You can just go this way, invest in this. I'm tired.

How long have we talked about being financially free?

Forever ever, do

whatever we want. And that could be the worst business ideas of all time. And we've had a problem

about it.

Or places that nobody would wanna visit.

You can

do whatever you want.

I think that what's really important is people say money can't buy happiness. Yeah. I say that. And I I will say this past two weeks week has been the happiest week of my life.

Mhmm. And ironically enough, I bought a plaque that says happiness.

Wow.

Stick that in your mind.

Wow. Wow. Sadly. You wow. So you bought yeah. When you say plaque, You mean though that little piece of paper covered in cellophane that you buy at Venice Beach and the age looks like a kind of a mermaid, and then you bring it on the plane and you take up the whole Well,

you can't fold it or roll it. So it has to take up the the upper deck.

You have to take up the upper deck of the toilet and the plane. Yeah. That's right. Well, yeah. Where do you put

your luggage when you fly? I'm not gonna put it with the other people's suitcases.

I don't understand where they want us to put our luggage to these new planes. The toilet has no back. Right. Like, where's

right. Got one of these standing seats on planes where they put y'all on the back for a dollar.

Standing room? Standing room. Standing for a dollar. Well, it's right below You have you have delta one, of course, first class, you have delta main, you have delta basic, and then you have a stand. Mhmm. Delta stand. Mhmm. Which I love. I love that they break it down by income at the airport. So you could just everybody, if you could feel like trash.

Have you guys heard

about this? By happiness, but in order fly without getting blood clots. You do need a certain amount of money. Well So which one is it, my friend?

I did I did actually see that Delta was introducing a free tier.

Really?

Yeah. It's called Delta Out.

Delta Out.

Yeah. You're still you're holding on to the wing

of the wing.

So you hold

on to the wing. Yeah.

Okay. That's great. Okay.

Strong hands.

Or can you bring carry ons? Yeah. You have to. Right? You have the whole one? Yeah. So one hands off occupy. Yeah. Holding your carrier.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. They they use Tom Cruise for the ad

for it.

Uh-huh. Oh, yeah. You guys saw it.

I'll see you.

Off the wing. God, that's cool. God, that's cool.

That's really cool.

Cruise did that. I tried one my own, he got on the wing of a play and advertised the movie and all that stuff.

Yeah.

So for my, you know, general website and stuff, I got him a fast movie.

But Right. Right. Similar?

And I said, take a hard left about forty five seconds. It'll stop. I'll stay up.

And I will say it it didn't work. Let's say that first. You But that's also slightly less impressive. I will say a rolling bus

you fell off right when the bus pulled out of the parking spot.

You choose you roll backwards. I did, like, ten or twelve somersaults backwards right off the bat. And another bus came right after,

and you can't roll it on that one. It was it was a perpetual motion.

It kind of ended up in a reverse evil knievel, which was really You would cleared eight buses.

Yeah. Eight buses went under you.

Say kinda, yeah. You mean exactly. It was reverse Eve of people. Yeah. Buses jumped under you. Yeah.

Right. And touched you.

So then at the end, everybody said, whoa, it's ugly and ugly.

Which which hurt at first. I know Todd, but the but you've really run with it, and it's actually it's actually become kind of a cool thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Do And you don't

have to do that correctly? We we have so many people booked tickets for ugly ugly. This They get it. They get it. It's so fun to have funny because we can sit in the wake planning ugly and ugly, and it's gonna be amazing.

Ugly and ugly is going to

change the world. So the the show starts out with you smiling and breaking a hundred mirrors. And

we have a bunch of other people joining you. We have Travis Pestrawmy. Yes, honey.

And who else is Pestrawmy?

We have

travis Pestrawmy. Travis Pestrawmy is gonna be there.

And if you don't

know him, he's just like Travis Pestrana

--

yeah.

--

except it's it's meat based. It's salted meat based stunts.

Yes. And they're funny. And and also dangerous, we have David Blame. Which Yes.

Don'ty don'ty fuck.

Have you guys gotten Tony Fox Pro fuckers out? Dude, that

is the horniest

one of my favorite songs.

I used to play Tony Fox fuckers. Tony

fox pro fucker.

Tony Fox pro fuckers when I was a kid until I was just my fingers total

yeah. Because

you just go out onto a playground and you're like, fuck. Everybody fucks, like, while spinning. It's crazy. Bash, she could do

it. My parents

never let

me play that.

I was really it was it was always such a it was a real I feel like I missed a lot on on stuff my daughter. It's It was great to meet Tony fuck, though, when we had

something to do. But it's so cool. Like

--

yeah. -- like being a millionaire We're all millionaires. Like, we're trying to turn it into a billion, but we're we're just having so much fun doing side projects and finding our purpose.

And I'll be honest with you. It is it is kinda sad for me to sort of see the gym from afar. Literally, we can see here, we're off the coast, so we could see the gym.

It is kinda sad to see

it's kinda sad

to see

it sort of, you know, living a life. It's kinda like when Todd whenever you've ever seen your ex wife anywhere.

Yes.

It's like, You kind of like, get this feeling of like, oh, wait, did we do anything? Yeah. Could we have done it better? Was this the right choice?

That was my reason to regret it. Four months.

It is like an ex it is like an ex Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

And And it's tough to watch and change. That's a trauma.

That's a trauma. And it's I mean, great I mean, it's interesting now because it's obviously the sun's going down and they've got it lit up like crazy. I think the fights tonight which is interesting.

So previous v big towel is tonight. We have seats that we might go.

You may.

Hey. I mean, if it's anything like getting an apartment building outside of Ridley Field,

we could just watch it from here and have a great

yeah.

We may just pipe in get CCTV straight out to the to the boat.

Yeah. Sometimes it's better just to watch at home. Yeah. And by home, I mean, the boat.

Yeah. We're living on a boat right now. We're between homes. But I think four friends living on a yacht, that's more fun than living in our own house.

It's amazing. We have a staff that hates each other's guts. You would think they were on the bravo channel. Yeah. But they are fighting like dogs and cats down there in the in the bunk But you know what? So fun to me.

Are you listening to some of the staff drama? Yeah. Every one of them is wrong. None of them have a leg to stand on with their argument. Everyone is crazy.

Everyone's crazy.

Usually in an argument, you're like, okay. Yeah. I can agree with I see your point. These are both just like

--

yes. -- but it's that's another thing with our position is now learning how money changes us and how We're above those arguments. You don't need to argue so much. Pay him some money.

That's what I was gonna say, Todd. It felt a little bit hard to share. But I would like to share something personal if that's okay with you guys. Right.

Of course. I think that is the name of the game in this podcast. Right. Yes, please.

And and when you have money and you run investment accounts, you need to take full days to check-in with each other, your employees have these listening sessions and then change absolutely nothing.

But I hear you.

You know, you need to hear hear everybody out -- Mhmm.

--

and then do nothing and go the opposite direction.

And what what I would like to share and, again, with total humility,

i'm starting to feel better than everybody. I'm starting to feel better than everybody because of the value in my bank account.

And I don't mean that in a mean way. I think it's just sort of, like, the truth, you know? And I'm curious. Are you guys feeling that way? Or am I sort of losing my mind?

I'll say, as a person with some experience, being wealthy

--

yeah.

--

it is a feeling that you kinda can't get over. Right. You kinda as long as there's money there and you know that at any any point, you could pay to have somebody just whisked away and taken out of your site -- Killed.

--

killed. Put somewhere that they don't wanna be. When you have that that power, it's impossible to feel like you're How

many guys have you marooned? Since we've had the money.

Mhmm.

I've had five or six guys marooned on Island.

It's Adam Levine.

Yes. Well, we I had a second guitarist.

Five I'm sorry.

You've had him you've

had Adam moving marooned five times on an island. You keep sitting back.

The boat is driving away from me.

Todd, I've noticed in your

singing eyes.

Please, no.

Because I'm fucking rich, Howard. All I wanna do is sing.

That's a beautiful opera voice. Oh, yeah. When you're rich, you can sing. Like, you have a good voice. You have a good voice

when you're rich. Hear it. Absolutely.

We are on a boat having a nice time. So let's take a little break. Let's crack some a shrimp c x.

Oh, forget. Let's Yeah. Let me correct. Some shrimp see. Shrimp copyright. It's it's You can. It can. Yeah. It's it's it's so what's what's that called? Carbonated now. My shrimp I have carbonated shrimp.

And we're

we're having shrimp cocktails.

We are. Where we are. They're very bubbly.

Well, yeah. Yeah. Let's let's take a little break.

Okay? Mine has feet still. God, if you guys ever had a martini this tall, This is a tall glass

we asked for it up.

Yeah. And they put it up. This is way up. They put it. That glass is too tall to drink out of, actually. It it feels like it just it's like it spills down the side of the glass when you tilt it forward.

Yeah. Kinda need a booster seat.

Yeah. You almost need to get up. Yeah. Maybe you need a ladder.

Or it's bendy straw.

We eat a mini straw. Yeah.

Martini out of a big bendy straw.

Yeah. That could be good.

Did you get yours neat or dirty?

I got it really dirty.

Yeah. I can tell. Yeah. It's up and dirty.

Yeah. I have the boats and make this so that it was really dirty.

What's a boats and?

The guy who does all the ropes on the outside of the boat.

Oh. I

had him sort of wring his hands into rather than just put olive juice?

We've got a bose tender.

Yeah. Yeah. Bose tender.

Bose tender. Yep.

Well, I yeah. That's the other thing is we usually record this podcast. Stone sober.

Mhmm.

And it's nice to have a little cocktail on the boat and just get into a new zone.

Yes.

Where it's just a little looser, a little, you know, it's maybe a little teacher's lounge after dark and just honest.

Let us feel like we're defending our selves. I don't need to defend myself anymore. No. I'm just excited about the future. I'm not sorry for the past. No.

That's gone.

And I wanna say one final goodbye to the gym. We really tried our best with that.

We really tried.

We made some strong people there.

Mhmm.

And we met some strong people and made some strong connections. And so I appreciate you all going through that journey with me.

Yeah, me too. And I do wanna remind anybody who was listening that if if you do still wanna go to a gym, I think the new gym is gonna be a great opportunity.

Yes.

And all you gotta do is go for an hour a day. For every year that you wanna feel in shape.

Right.

Mhmm. You do an hour to ask five days a week.

Mhmm. Mhmm.

Question can take weekends off, five days a week, ten weeks. It's fifty two weeks, a year, fifty two times ten times five. You're gonna get a little bit stronger.

Absolutely. You really are.

And I think that's probably the last time I'll say that. So I gotta I gotta say Ban voyage to getting a little bit stronger.

Well, that's that's I would have missed that version of you because you were really intense.

Teachers.

You were really intense.

We do.

And it really motivated me when I was around you try to make you happy.

And you were hustling when you were around me. I don't know if it was trying to get away from me or what, but you were definitely hustling.

No. It's it's just a hustle of like, okay, for this hour, I gotta make Sam happier. It's gonna be awful. And then next time you wanna hang, I'm gonna keep avoiding it because of how tiring the last time was.

Right. Right. But That's my cycle. And I've learned that, and I'm ready to say goodbye to

it. Uh-huh.

Yeah. I'm gonna really miss being dyed green because I spilt spiralene on me. I've spent most of the time at this gym walking around looking like gumby. And because of a spiraling accident.

You're talking about the spiraling accident.

Well, daily yeah. Dailier's virulent accident. Daily spirulina spills

--

mhmm.

--

of course ravaging the Mallard Duck community in the nearby streets We had green ducks. It was just terrible.

James Cameron invented some technology to get the green out of you.

Yes. BP was studying me for a long time.

Yes, which we're always happy to have an oil man around.

Oh, my guys.

Well, anything to take the focus off what they're actually doing. Right?

Yeah. As long as you have a really handsome man in overalls, I don't feel weird about gas. Yeah. I don't feel weird about it anymore. So, yeah, it's kinda nice. I'm I'm detoxing now as you can tell, I'm just sort of like a pale green.

Yeah. You look really good. I mean, with the whole popularity of She hulk and stuff

--

yes.

--

i think you could keep green.

Yeah.

But that's just me.

Yes. I think it's true. People should take stuff that's going on in pop culture and just do full all their lives cost

why not? You look like the shield.

Popularity of She hulk right now. Just be She hulk.

She hulk

here in real time. What about she hulk?

Yeah.

I could be healed. Bring back

the need of

hulk, you know?

Talk to toe.

Oh, nude. Pepsi. It could be You'll be able to do a

walk backwards. That would be a nice view.

That would be awesome. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe I will. I'll I'll think about it.

Well, I really feel like we are all having some real new perspective. And I'm curious, where do you guys think you'll go with not only this new perspective, but this new opportunity.

I'm thinking every rich guy starts a charity, right? Genius. You know, you've got your Billerman Linda Gates Foundation. You've got your

name one other.

You've got your

bezos goes to the moon.

Bezos goes to the moon.

Buffet's buffets.

Buffet's buffets. You know, you've got all these well known

buffet's buffets. I went to his coconut orphanage that was beautiful. Really? He had deep fried, covered in coconut, and deep fried all these little children, and they were quickly adopted.

Oh, who doesn't want one of those?

But if I can

if I can dip my kid in sweet and sour sauce, I want it.

Of course. Changes everything. And sometimes you stuff yourself on the more noodly kids and stuff.

Yeah.

And it's like, no. No. No. No. It's a buffet.

Well, it's so smart to apply some of these free market ideas to something that was typically emotional Like, if you want your kid to be sold quicker, deep fry them like a coconut shrimp. It's it's just it makes saying Everything doesn't have to be so emotional. You know, you can use business knowhow in the real world.

And so that you've taken you're you're starting

i am. I've decided I'm gonna get I'm gonna start a charity, which is really exciting to me. It's a cause. It's very close to my heart. Something I've been dealing with since

is it cholesterol?

It's very close to it.

Caked in your heart's caked in cholesterol. Straw. Right? Well, your your heart was actually on a an episode of cake wars. Right?

Yeah. Well, it is a cake. It was on an episode of it's a cake. Is a cholesterol cake. Unfortunately, got a nap. Yes. Just like that. Yes, which was a very traumatic mix.

Brown ate some of your cake and went I love that episode. That's his name. Right?

Good. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sure.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. But, no, I'm gonna start I'm gonna start Jerry, something that that is near and dear to

my heart. Okay. Not blockages?

No. No. No. No. Not blockages. It's gonna be it's gonna be a charity that folk is on, like, sexual health of adults.

That's great. That'd be great. Charity. It's gonna Really good.

It's gonna focus on it's gonna focus on making people comfortable with all the ways that that that they have you know, felt amazing.

For, like, old virgins? Like, what is this? You're are you pumping money into fucking? Somebody

fucking you?

No. I'm it's for for fellas like me who've spent their lives thinking that they're weird or they're, you you know, sour,

depressed. Thought that.

Well, you guys haven't made it easy.

Howard, you're the coolest guest on this podcast. You're not weird.

Can you

have any other podcast where a guest has come

on like sixty, seventy times, eighty, ninety.

That's how

much we love about it.

Again, I wanna to reiterate this, the con track that I've signed to do this podcast has me as a full fledged member of of the teachers lounge podcast. If you guys have something else on your contracts, I I'm getting a little bit worried.

I think I said full bed member of the podcast and the idea was you get a full bed if we ever travel.

Hang on. Let me get my contract out.

This is howard Lewis. Definitely.

Read it. Read it.

We don't

have to be friends. Yeah. We don't have to hang out with him. Yeah. Yeah. Full full full bad. It's it

does say full bad. Why is bad such small type?

Well, in full is in quotes,

as you can see. Yeah. And also, I added asterisks to make

it the bottom.

Full bad. Grass. Grass. With it also has it has an asterisk,

grass fed. Grass fed.

Pieces of bricks.

Pieces of bricks.

And then it has another asterisk there. Let me get in there. Basically, just dirt.

But okay. See? So you get to sleep outside and eat the kids.

I'm in class contract.

That's a great contract. Thanks for letting our lawyer drive up and sign

up on that.

Well, and think about how cool we are

that we're not holding you to it.

Thank you for giving our lawyer, power of attorney for you. Thank you.

Wait. Power of attorney.

Power of attorney. Yes.

Wait. Did I sign did I sign something hang on. Let me get my other contract right now.

Yeah. So she gotta carry your contracts with you everywhere you go.

This is gonna be tough to see how this is the moment where Howard sees that we have the right to pull the plug on right here in Utah.

Says her Let us maintain she has no legal recourse and

and when you read a contract, you gotta do it in this case.

It's something

that you gotta skip a few sentences.

No. No. No. No. No.

A lot of fine print here. So I have power of attorney is

you can skip the part where we define all the parties because I think that one was a little too detailed. Tier two four referred to as Howard, which is already here you were,

but Anything that is Howard to actually belongs to Bill Kraveen, Todd, and whether all his assets monetarily property, everything

we can cash out your Roth IRA. Sorry.

Yeah. Are you fucking serious?

We own your retirement account. Sorry, buddy.

What how did

i get

and your ira Glass autographed photo.

Yes. No. Do not.

And and

it is You don't even know where it is. I've hidden it.

I have your separate ira glass.

Are you kidding me? Yep. I got your other one. Did you hire did you follow me to my secret

--

yes.

--

safe where I keep my

the the upper deck of your toilet.

And we didn't tell you that it is an Eli Roth IRA, so it's a scary bank account. No. Yeah.

You're kidding me. They're not gonna cut my fingers off are they?

Yeah. But your bank account's gonna slither right into mine.

Jesus Christ. Yeah.

We also took your reverse Ira, your r e emmanuel

autographed photo. I'm her first tiger. Yeah. We have

your photo of a secret.

Howard, this is just for safe say. I'm sure it'll never come to this. We just

have to be safe.

We're letting you be on

hold on. I signed some crazy stuff in my contract.

Oh oh, really?

They have to eat me when I die,

which I thought was a win win.

Yeah. Wait. Is this is your whole funeral arrangement laid out in your contract?

Yes. But I don't wanna pull it out because I don't wanna do stuff that's you know, I don't wanna reverse information that's already out.

Well,

and it's hard to it's hard to describe a picture and word.

Yes.

This is racist

because your contract is drawn.

Is drawn. Yeah. It's show three d's

just seen it.

This It's

worth my my power of attorney is where the life ends, and it's it's a nice little mister book.

Can I

just say this things are starting to make sense to me because I have actually noticed that all of my quarters, quote unquote, on the boat are a little bit different than your guys' is? Mhmm. I don't have what I would call a a room per se.

You sleep in a jar of quarters. That's your quarters.

It's a big jar.

Yeah.

I feel like

we're gonna take

you to the coin star. We got Get ready.

As soon as we get back to land?

We look, I I I I wanna say this right now. I really wanna respect you, Howard. And we have all this money now and I feel like sometimes I'm know disrespecting you putting you in a dark corner, stuff like that. And I don't even know it.

Right.

And so now that we all have money, we're equals.

Yeah. Okay. Okay. So these contracts are null and void.

I'm no longer insecure. I'm no longer insecure.

Mhmm.

And you can be my friend.

The good thing is you have plenty of money to fight these contracts with, and that's all you need. If you have money, contracts don't mean anything.

But we're talking about my dreams. I told you guys what my dream is, and now you're telling me that if I'm gonna have to use all my money to get out of these bad contrast.

Let's let's not do that. Let's let's we won't even take these contracts to court. We'll just it it'll never even come up

--

yes. -- that we have own everything that you want. I wanna respect you. So if you say I don't wanna sleep in and drive quarters, great. Right. What will maybe kick the crew out of the bathroom, or we'll figure something out for you to sleep

at Yeah. It's really crazy that you went from sleeping in a terrarium to now sleeping in a jar of quarters. Like, what

about about the anchor? You wanna sleep on the anchor?

You could curl up on the anchor like a snake does like a cooled chain. That would be really cool.

Not like a

serpent around an anchor.

You know, I would that doesn't sound comfortable to me.

Okay. Okay.

I love you speaking up for yourself.

Yeah.

What would you where would you like to sleep? Or if it's not inside a drive quarters or

on, it's

a like a snake. Yeah.

Where do you guys sleep? How about you? Let me start there.

You can take my bed. Okay?

Really?

Because I've got some plans for my money.

Oh, really?

Yep. Okay. Yep. Yep. To hear it, Bill. Love to hear it, Bill. I have it. I know what it is.

Love to hear it.

I am going to a deep space.

Deep.

That's awesome.

So as soon as I got money, for some reason, I wanted to inhabit the sun.

That is so smart.

And wherever

as soon as you get money, you realize that the earth is unsustainable and we need to live on the side.

You realize what's possible. Why have I been thinking I couldn't live on the sun this

whole time? So you know how a once the sun goes out, it's gonna be perfectly inhabitable planet. Exactly. That we can terraform and live there. Sure. It's gonna absolute hell for one hundred million years. But then then people will finally have more room.

Can I ask just because I don't know a lot about space? I know it's beautiful to see photos of it and stuff. Oh. Why not the moon? Or or is the moon on the moon?

The moon's over. The moon's over. Yeah. Nobody likes the moon.

The moon was cool in the nineties.

Yes. The moon is gross.

Oh, I had no idea.

Yes. It's not nice. There's all these all inclusives up there. It's just gross.

Oh, so the sun is where people are doing -- People

are -- -- real

estate now for their Yes.

Kids, kids, kids, kids, kids, kids.

Exactly. Well, the moon's kinda bought up. I mean, I wanted to be a part of the moon, but if you start going to these secret society meetings where everybody wears masks

--

mhmm.

--

and they talk about what's actually going on, It's like the Illuminati

--

mhmm.

--

in a u g h t y. They are where I am when I go there. And they say, this is not in a u g h t one. And I'm like, hi, mom.

Fidelio. Fidelio,

back to the money, the triangle.

Well, and I obviously thought I was We had a disagreement. We were to different places we were both wrong, but I went to Alumal Nates. Also masked up wearing this wearing, you know, the symbols on the one dollar bill

--

right. -- triangles.

Yes. The big beans. Huge huge hunk of fried cheese. Yeah. Yeah.

I do some of what they did, I'll say.

Well, I think that's a really exciting idea.

Did y'all go anywhere?

To the

alumati? You were going to the Illuminati meeting?

You're good at the world. Where did I go?

And we can come back to it. But if you have if you remember the meeting

oh, I actually did I actually had I had been getting into arts and crafts. Mhmm. And I had I was making a sweater for my friend.

Really?

And it was going so well. So I had to get but I had to get it fixed. So I went to to my loom is naughty.

No. My room

is naughty.

Yes. My room is naughty. Of course.

So it's like what an app t t y. So So wait. Explain to me the backstory where

i was tracking. And shut It's easy to figure out. Okay. Okay. I was making a sweater and my loom

--

right. -- got knotted.

Okay. And

and just so happens that the place you go

--

right.

--

to fix a loom that is naughty

--

right.

--

is called loom is naughty.

You should see this guy on the loom, by the way.

Yeah. I don't need

to brag about my crafts that much on the podcast. Not really something comes over here.

Well, if

you ever wanna bring them up, It's a new era. We can talk about your loom, your crash, or sweatshirt.

I'd love to see your loom art. Yeah. Really? Because I went I went to another Maybe you were

at the same one I was at. What what was that?

Well, I after I went to Illuminati or Illuminati tried to be naughty at it, and then went to Illuminati, I was looking for a light bulb. That was a certain brightness. And I went to a store where they sell lights that don't light up.

Lumennati. Lumennati.

Lumennati. Lumennati.

Is it a Latin? Is it owned by someone who speak Yes. Latin. It's

owned by this guy in a toga in a in a horse drawn

--

right.

--

with a

little bop bop I guess, I am remembering

i went I went to an incorrect Oh. An incorrect spot that actually turned out to be a cobbler, an Italian cobbler

--

awesome. -- to Ashu Ricati. Okay.

Okay. No. If that's what we're doing, I've got a few more. Yeah.

I knew

it was gonna be a few more.

I really admit it was a really big mistake.

It's great that you did a because I also wasn't feeling well the other day. Right. And I -- Uh-huh.

--

and I went to the doctor, and I I him. I said I said, what's going on? And he, like, looked at me, he looked at my nose, looked at my ears. He said, you know what it is? The flu is snotty.

Uh-huh. The flu is Snotty?

The sierra did hear the flu a snotty.

Yeah. The flu snotty. Yes. Well, If we

think you're more, we can plug them back in right

here. Mhmm.

But the point is we are part of some secret societies -- Mhmm.

--

talking about Italianians wearing shoes that you put lasagna? What time?

Where The world opens up to you. Yes. Oh, yeah.

I'm a

little cat.

I'll say having this money as an artist, especially in the theater. You're not used to getting a lot of money. You know? You're used to scraping Right. Did that affect

your art? Because it's kind of the antithesis of art. Wealth and and having it.

Do you wonder, is it hard to be relatable

--

right.

--

when you're rich and you look at people like, I don't know, there's a lot of people all of your wild has had so much success being relatable to us and it's like I wanna stick around with these socialites in that world, but I do wanna still be amongst the people to make

art. Right.

So my charity is allowing -- You're angry too. What's that?

You're doing a charity to you?

Did I say charity? I it is a charity in the eyes of the government. And it's allowing normal people to hang out with me still.

Oh, that's genius.

And so I'll still get humane experience is but beyond that, I I I do wanna bring art to people who don't have access to

that's very admirable time.

I know. Yeah. North Hollywood. You know, mid city, Los Angeles,

so you're going to places that already have fully funded arts districts, and you're really pumping in too much art. Is that what you're doing?

I don't wanna start a whole new thing. Yeah. You know what I mean? Where it's like

because Lakmah is in is in mid city.

You're doing, like, competing it's just

so hard because people are like, why don't you put money in two cities that really need it? Go to, like, Detroit. Go to

because I need to be too far from Hollywood.

It's like He wanted

to just be annoyed Hollywood.

Couldn't Detroit hang out with who? Nobody from movies is in Detroit.

Right.

I mean, maybe some of the football or basketball players, and that's cool.

But The people who need are are the people who basically already have

it. So you're going to you've really been focusing on a school in Santa Monica where every wealthiest kid in person in Hollywood's child goes. Spielberg. Spielberg. The the the apatals, all these kids are there. And you've been trying to turn them against their parents and and work with you?

I said there's a better director out there, and he's not your damn dad or mom.

Well, and your only thing is you can tell one story at a time. Unlike these freaking apatow movies are four hours long.

It's So you're starting to

call for celebrity children. Is that

what's happening? You a caught a cold. I call it a movie using nepotism to get my own game.

And so you you have the biggest heart. You have the biggest house in Altadena that's got a four thousand square foot kitchen and bunks. And it's all brown, and there's fits around it. And the military sorry. It's quite a picture. Yeah. Yes. I got a bit of a compound, and I've

taken celebrity children, and they live on there with kids we make, and we make just movies the way they should be made. I mean

and you're made you're trying to reduce Star Wars with baby Spielberg? Because you weren't Yeah.

I never really looked into who made Star Wars. I'm gonna be honest. I must have been silver.

He's well too. Right?

He was around. Look

as he was there.

He was

around. Yeah. Like, you didn't pop by. He was sick.

It's like my dad didn't direct Star Wars. And it's like, okay. Well, I've got a damn Iraq war veteran outside who will pop one in you if you if you speak up. So why don't we film Star Wars with little Stephen's kids? And I'm directing. Alright?

You know what I've noticed about security, you can get them for cheap and they're nice. These people better security or crazy. You can get a war veteran who's got no option. Pay them dirt poor. And it's great for you.

Well, and the thing is, it's to keep everyone safe. These people are safe for me too. These guys keep me in the compound when I've had a little too much sauce at night. And I do mean grandma's gravy.

Dude, your grandma's gravy is eighty proof. And I will say I will say

you're working your grandma a little too hard.

He's got his grandma there. The still Don't get out of the shower. Dude, But grandma's gravy, dude, grandma's gravy is in every bar in the country. It's to be a fireball. I was doing remarkable. Damn's gravy. Every college kid in in the world is getting absolutely slammed off the grandma's Speakward is, the big secret is keeping your grandma working twenty four seven. And it's what's keeping her going. We know that you're

a hundred. She's two hundred and fifty.

She's a few fifty. Right? You're crazy.

Let's wait, by the way. She's three hundred forty years old.