Seekers' Lounge
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s04e09

Hump Hump, said the Camel Live at UCB with Ladysmith Black Mambazo (Carl Tart)

Originally aired: December 27, 2017

The guys address the upcoming Spirit Week festivities, the issues with the school dress code, and the murder in the robotics lounge. Later, school board candidate and poet Ladysmith Black Mambazo returns to suggest school improvements and to reminisce about playing baseball back in the day.

0:00:00 Unknown

McDonald's. No tides. Tighter. You Dad? No, I'm sleeping class. And Carl, let's start the show way. Head of defense, Please wait. The arts in a way. Thank you. Thank you. You music with perfect time. It is

0:02:12 Unknown Speaker #1

a wonderful way asked for

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here runs over there.

0:02:16 Unknown

Oh, thank you. Wait.

0:02:24 Unknown Speaker #2

No, You're all a little surprised, everybody. I just see it in the eye and start supposed taped off my ex wife. Oh, nobody said there shall come. They clearly really wait. No, that you all came here for the committee on toward it here for the pep rally to see Paul Ryan's to face loser tour. Unfortunately,

0:03:02 Unknown

all right is going around doing a tour. It's called two faced

0:03:08 Unknown Speaker #1

Loser Tour Motivational tour. It talks about how he became successful in what his life skills,

0:03:14 Unknown

right? Hated it. A positive life tells you step by step, how to become a two faced loser and, you know, walking out of there exactly how to do it.

0:03:25 Unknown Speaker #1

Exactly who I mean. That's a skill you're interested in. Who better to learn from these mistakes? He's the poster child for two losers.

0:03:35 Unknown

Oh, my God. And he wanted a way. Was supposed to be a Ted talk.

0:03:38 Unknown Speaker #2

It was supposed to be. That's right. He pitched it. Ted told him to go fuck himself.

0:03:44 Unknown

Ted is pretty tight on his talks

0:03:48 Unknown Speaker #1

that you wouldn't. Because, you see, of all

0:03:50 Unknown

time, I've seen some of the worst talks I've ever seen. Three. And they

0:03:54 Unknown Speaker #3

have been in the smallest buildings as well as the biggest convention centers. I mean, he could have just don't it In the bathroom at the public library.

0:04:02 Unknown Speaker #2

Watch the one. I say it was all about mindfulness and chimpanzees.

0:04:07 Unknown

I love that.

0:04:09 Unknown Speaker #3

Yes, I watched it. All of you. And I still got it

0:04:12 Unknown Speaker #2

a most. What you need out of it.

0:04:14 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, it was a wonderful time, but anyway, Paul Paul is not gonna be here. No, I

0:04:21 Unknown Speaker #2

mean, he felt bad about it. He said miss an email on the subject. It said Sorry. Couldn't be there. Paul crying. Uh, yeah. Body said said I can't be there. Uh,

0:04:31 Unknown Speaker #1

I'm so sorry.

0:04:34 Unknown

Yeah. I mean, I actually got an email to from Paul on, and he said, hey, said subject line stuck in traffic and then in the subject was like, I'm really I'm almost there, Paul Trying.

0:04:52 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh, yeah. So he was close. He was crying and trying in his car in traffic. But

0:04:58 Unknown Speaker #3

I also got me. I did. Yeah, I guess it was. It was late. And he actually, like, tried Teoh rent an airplane on. He said he sent the subject line, said, Hey, I still plan on being there, might not make it in the body and said Stall flying on. So here. I guess you want to stop because he was

0:05:24 Unknown Speaker #2

former star. So this is our stall technique right now. We haven't

0:05:27 Unknown Speaker #1

heard about the email he sent me way. Haven't he said sorry again? So sorry. I'm not gonna be there.

0:05:36 Unknown Speaker #2

And I bought it.

0:05:36 Unknown Speaker #1

However, I can see you guys. I might come out last minute, Paul. Spying.

0:05:43 Unknown

Wow. Wow. Yeah, well, that's crazy. But that's crazy, cause I actually right before we walked out here, I got an email from Paul's wife. Tell you guys about that? I don't know you. Didn't you tell me? Checking my phone, right? Oh, yeah. We're all about there furiously way. Hadn't talk in the last three hours. It on our fucking phones got this culture, this culture, we won't look up from. I'm obsessed with my screen and I love it because if I'm honest, I don't like talking to people. I think

0:06:18 Unknown Speaker #2

that's really I was thinking I'd love to see a short film about how people are on their phones all the time.

0:06:23 Unknown

I was somebody, preferably by like a college freshman.

0:06:29 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes, less experienced.

0:06:34 Unknown Speaker #3

You know what? Let's not leave it at one. Why not? Every college student in all of America make a short film.

0:06:42 Unknown Speaker #1

What's been hit me hard lately is street art about the way I live.

0:06:47 Unknown

My oh my God, I'll weep when I see one. I

0:06:52 Unknown Speaker #1

one the other day of a man looking at his own cell phone and I fell on the ground.

0:06:57 Unknown

Absolutely. I was walking down Melrose the other day. Beautiful score. Jazz. I love it. That's where I get all my clothes. The best little shops, bythe coolest weirdos, Um, so long

0:07:16 Unknown Speaker #2

to find a $275 led Zeppelin T shirt.

0:07:19 Unknown

Yes. Yeah. Um but I saw I saw a spray painted stenciled on the sidewalk love each other. Oh, my God. I almost fell out. I all right off my car. Well, I was driving by. I was looking out on the sidewalk. I'm gonna walk down.

0:07:41 Unknown Speaker #3

I was riding the subway the other day. Uh, you know this up, Everyone. Metro and

0:07:51 Unknown Speaker #2

everybody should take public transportation and

0:07:54 Unknown

transportation is Los Angeles is guard jazz. You

0:07:57 Unknown Speaker #3

get? I was writing on that. I was writing on the subway and I looked out the window and I saw on the side of the building. So somebody had spray painted up there. If you could read this, look to the person to your left and tell them you love them. Oh, my God. Who was sitting here left? Nobody shit. And so I But I took it as an opportunity.

0:08:15 Unknown Speaker #1

Sometimes street art makes you sad. And that's when

0:08:18 Unknown Speaker #3

I took it as an opportunity. I look turned around and there was a mirror behind me, and I just looked a mirror behind you. Just a very American touch. A vanity mirror, kind of one of those ones. It's con cave, and it kind of makes your face look

0:08:32 Unknown

Ben. Magnifying vanity. Yes.

0:08:36 Unknown Speaker #3

Lingering around it. So easy access to the charger that this was plugged into some my phone had plenty of juice.

0:08:45 Unknown Speaker #2

You're absolutely in your bathroom. Yeah, that you were in your

0:08:48 Unknown

You need to tell

0:08:49 Unknown Speaker #3

me. I was in my bathroom and my apartment is so cheap that it rattles all the time. And I think I'm in a moving subway

0:08:56 Unknown Speaker #1

car. You put. I

0:08:57 Unknown Speaker #3

looked out the window and I saw the painting in my next door neighbor's house. That says the words that I said before and I thought I was in a subway

0:09:04 Unknown Speaker #2

asking this When you get out of the subway, what's the first thing you see?

0:09:07 Unknown Speaker #3

My bad.

0:09:09 Unknown

Yeah, that's your part way

0:09:11 Unknown Speaker #2

should say you're listening to the teachers and this is the teacher's lounge.

0:09:50 Unknown Speaker #3

Wow, too. It's great. That sounds great in the context of an audio recording. Somebody's listening to board in their car. But when people are staring at you on stage, you really feel waste of their time. You know, people

0:10:05 Unknown Speaker #2

in an audience will watch anything.

0:10:11 Unknown Speaker #1

If you came to a show, you're boring

0:10:14 Unknown

and you guys are obviously students. You have to watch this, But if you go to shows,

0:10:19 Unknown Speaker #3

if you pay money to see live comedy of any kind, each

0:10:26 Unknown Speaker #2

board you're boring idiot

0:10:30 Unknown Speaker #1

about that recently. Doesn't family. So

0:10:32 Unknown Speaker #3

I'm so glad we do 100% serious grounded podcasts. I'm so tired of trying to be funny

0:10:38 Unknown Speaker #2

way. Want to get in the park, guys? But we should start with our announcements. We have some announcements since we got most of the whole student body here. By the way, thanks for being here. You had to, but thanks for coming. Uh, they want to start with the announcement.

0:10:51 Unknown Speaker #3

You were really buried in yours. I think

0:10:54 Unknown Speaker #2

I just didn't wear my glasses. Trouble reading. But I'll do the first announcement. Uh, okay, first announcement. Um, attention, Jewish students. We just learned that the Sabbath is not on Wednesday, so you can no longer miss school. Good work. You tricked us.

0:11:16 Unknown

Yeah, Yeah. You lying Jewish

0:11:20 Unknown Speaker #1

loser. That's all true. No libel lawsuits. You know why you

0:11:27 Unknown Speaker #2

would you do it? It's

0:11:32 Unknown Speaker #3

not a generalisation. It's about the specific Jewish

0:11:35 Unknown

fuck. These 15 kids were talking. Yeah, they got us.

0:11:40 Unknown Speaker #3

They did get us.

0:11:47 Unknown Speaker #2

You're attended to. That is, if you trick us. We can't punish you so

0:11:56 Unknown

quickly. If you trick us and get

0:11:58 Unknown Speaker #1

away with us, get away with it. your get away with it. It's good life trading. You know, life isn't fair if you could. Tricks of one of the world. If

0:12:05 Unknown

you work works here, if you trick our ass is congratulations. You graduated. They're all gone. We graduated.

0:12:13 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, Way. I sent an email to every college in America saying, Hey, one of these 15 Jewish kids come to school. They're gonna try to not come to their classes on Wednesday. So you better look out.

0:12:25 Unknown

That email got flag

0:12:26 Unknown Speaker #1

because the subject line was tricky. Jews content out of context. That email might seem a little anti Semitic. Yeah, it's very pro Semite. All right way are here. Yeah. Yeah, of course. We're almost in false spirit Week. Eso we're having dress up days. Monday will be Wildlife Day. Come dressed up is any wildlife? Tuesday will be read day where any kind of red but make it creative. Wednesday is going to be French style. I'm not using these names. This was chosen by our SB student body president on his

0:13:11 Unknown Speaker #2

own. And these are mandatory, right?

0:13:14 Unknown Speaker #1

He's a mandatory So style. Come on, guys, come on, get your brains out or stay home. Yeah, Thursday is going to be chipotle burrito day. We're gonna dress up, like in foil, like chipotle burritos. That does coincide with free burrito day at your polling so you could get a little too, For one that's get Friday is dressed like Daddy, where everybody dresses like their own father.

0:13:39 Unknown

I remember last year, just like Daddy Day way of every year. And ah, lot of students came to school dressed like dead men. Way

0:13:52 Unknown Speaker #1

had some deceased father's there. On

0:13:55 Unknown Speaker #2

what? What? The rules is dressed like daddy

0:13:57 Unknown Speaker #3

now. Yeah, hurts. So, like, I remember one of my kids wanted my diamond

0:14:04 Unknown Speaker #2

came in dressed like his dad when he was alive. When I go home, come back when you look like you're Corp stat.

0:14:13 Unknown Speaker #3

I had to

0:14:13 Unknown Speaker #1

be creative way back. He came back in a great costume. Yeah, and he won the day he got his picture.

0:14:21 Unknown Speaker #2

Remember, when you come into my office on that day, I will not be able to hear you from earned, so

0:14:30 Unknown

yeah, so I try a lot of cases himself into tiny our way, like

0:14:36 Unknown Speaker #2

my dad's unburned body.

0:14:40 Unknown

Just so crazy that you asked that funeral home Teoh cremate your father and they just stuffed his body. And without burning,

0:14:51 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, it took us a while to figure it out. Got him in there. Good.

0:14:55 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, Just a little bit of hair poking up.

0:14:58 Unknown Speaker #3

And it was £222. Yeah, as a heavy, bigger. And

0:15:03 Unknown Speaker #2

we just thought his ashes were has heaviest body

0:15:07 Unknown Speaker #1

with the announcement

0:15:08 Unknown

students, the mannequin challenge was very fun, But the latest viral craze the butt fucking challenge has to stop. No more filming yourselves, but bucking each other to Gloria S Stephen's Congo.

0:15:28 Unknown Speaker #3

Well, you can still do it, but don't posted on the school social media pages, we you know that the hashtag has kind of run wild. Everybody's tagging.

0:15:38 Unknown

Keep doing this, but don't tag us. It's going to get us. It's, um, hot water.

0:15:44 Unknown Speaker #3

I've got another announcement for you guys. The new school uniform policy goes into effect on Monday morning. And to reiterate accessorizing a uniform in any way is not allowed. This includes patches, bracelets, necklaces, fanny packs and two pays. Any accessory will be confiscated on Discovery.

0:16:04 Unknown

You didn't even have to mention any of the other ones other than to pay three only offense were happening. Unless you say it, Jeremy. You

0:16:15 Unknown Speaker #2

know it's a rug.

0:16:17 Unknown

Wait, no, You love to hear In eighth grade, it was very unfortunate way

0:16:27 Unknown Speaker #2

carpet on your head. And we

0:16:28 Unknown Speaker #1

all know this is training for life. No one by that rug in the real world is why I love you know, now that you looked, he's

0:16:35 Unknown Speaker #3

got glue just running down the side of his gracefully

0:16:40 Unknown Speaker #2

Jeremy Christ. All right, Next announcement. No more missing class because you claim you have trumps pissed tape. If you have the tape and want to miss class, we got to see it from now on.

0:16:55 Unknown

Also, no more bootlegs. I've got a couple times. I don't know whose dressing their dad's up. Like Trump and having a piss on people. But we know a fake when we see it way. Want to see that tape is bad? Is anybody?

0:17:09 Unknown Speaker #2

Absolutely. So I voted for the right guy.

0:17:15 Unknown

That was the problem. I knew I wanted to vote for him. And then when? When I heard about the tape, I said, Well, now I really want to vote for him, but it still hasn't proved so I just went and I voted for him, and it was fine.

0:17:30 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, I was one of those on the fence. Guys. I just wasn't sure whether I wanted a Socialist America or insane dictator. I was on the fence between those two options, that seems like a scrambled brain. Like a really sick brain. Your decided? Well, pretty manic. Yeah, I'm pretty manic

0:17:53 Unknown

way talk about how you're dressed right now because you're in a sleeveless camo shirt. You have. You have not even attempted to dress up like you're at school.

0:18:03 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, no, I thought we were I thought this was off time. No, I You know, I don't have shoes on either. Yeah, I wasn't ready for this. We got the call that we had to come down to your 15 minutes before, and I just threw him without on what you've been submitting, I think why you're dressed like this is

0:18:20 Unknown Speaker #4

because you've been submitting to the newest blue collar comedy tour. That's right, Joe. Uh, jokes you've been faxing in jokes

0:18:29 Unknown Speaker #2

that back and more racist than ever.

0:18:33 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, I've been faxing jokes, trying to see if the cable guy

0:18:38 Unknown Speaker #2

thing I love about those guys in the jokes they're sending them is while the rest of comedy is now firmly planted in 2017 right there saying, Hell, no. Right. We grew up in an age where only white men ran this. And that's the kind of humor we expect out.

0:18:53 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah? Yeah. Do you guys remember and hate 1998? Too bad because we lived there. Way

0:19:00 Unknown Speaker #2

live there. We want to go back to the comedy, art and music of the era.

0:19:04 Unknown

Yeah, I love their stuff. And then those, like, seven or eight minute chunks. When Chappelle weighs in on Trans people love him. Love that. Part of not new news. Repel you,

0:19:21 Unknown Speaker #2

Chappelle and Seinfeld. Just having conversations are my two favorite things

0:19:25 Unknown Speaker #1

I love Just gets rid of the punchlines. Yeah, you know, I mean, it's like we get the act. Show us the real use,

0:19:37 Unknown Speaker #2

watching them come up with material. Next announcement, the campus improv team sucks. And his pencil?

0:19:46 Unknown Speaker #1

Yes. That's an editorial note. All the teachers got together unanimously decided. Who's this for?

0:19:54 Unknown

Yeah, that's done. Do stand up. You ask and you shall receive piping. Hot gravy is back in the lunch room.

0:20:07 Unknown Speaker #1

This is big thing. This is huge for the culture of campus.

0:20:12 Unknown

Yeah, Piping hot gravy was gone for a while.

0:20:15 Unknown Speaker #2

We lost it. That hot gravy lawsuit wear this third degree burns from our from having the hottest gravy.

0:20:24 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah. Miss Morgan went into the cafeteria and said, Let me get a cup of moderately hot gravy. They gave her a a pot, a whole pot of gravy. That was 332 degrees.

0:20:34 Unknown

But she's so fucking stupid. You know, the gravy is hot. That's why you will get it. It's on the market. The hottest gravy in the world way. Come on. Not the best, but the hot. So it's back now with, like, a fucking label on it That says caution. Hot just takes the fun. Yeah, I'm glad that woman got burnt on her inner thighs.

0:21:05 Unknown Speaker #3

Moving on. I've got an announcement as well. Uh, we'd like to congratulate Mr Hampton, your anatomy and human development teacher on the birth of his new baby son, Dakota. We'd also like to send our condolences to Mrs Hampton as Mr Hampton died during childbirth, he died

0:21:27 Unknown

Love. That's great.

0:21:28 Unknown Speaker #3

From what I understand. Hey. Was in the room. He was overwhelmed. He passed out. They're not sure what happened. Another doctor came in, worked on him side by side with his wife, who was giving birth to their child.

0:21:41 Unknown Speaker #1

And he was a healthy guy. One of those town athletes to see running around all the time.

0:21:45 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, one of the town athletes. You

0:21:48 Unknown Speaker #1

know, The guy's got the bright clothes and they run.

0:21:52 Unknown

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. My your immortality. Yeah. Those guys make me feel great.

0:21:58 Unknown Speaker #4

The ones who get up early and, like, run

0:21:59 Unknown

around. I don't have those guys.

0:22:03 Unknown Speaker #1

I don't know. You're not a fan. They make me feel fat, dumb and slow. Wow. We're glad he's dead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, let's keep Booth, huh?

0:22:15 Unknown Speaker #2

Go ahead.

0:22:16 Unknown Speaker #1

Couldn't run from the Grim Reaper. Yeah, well, he's going to get us all. The robotics lab is closed due to water damage and the murder. Please use the computer lab.

0:22:30 Unknown

Yeah, really? It's less about the water damage and mostly about the murder.

0:22:35 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, the water damage is what alerted us to the murder. So that really is what

0:22:39 Unknown

it started. We were up in the rafters looking for that leak and we found Mr Farris is body. Yeah.

0:22:46 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, and it isn't. We are positive that it is a murder because the room was sealed from the outside with cement. All the doors were encased in cement. You could No water could get out. There was a leak in the ceiling. It filled the room up. And he just Yeah,

0:22:59 Unknown Speaker #1

my body is always also still jacked up with cement.

0:23:03 Unknown

Yeah. Wait. You were a suspect for a little while Time That was crazy because he was convinced you were the

0:23:15 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, well, uh, good news is I'm off scot free for the moment. I use the riddle defense. I said he stood on a block of ice and hung himself in the ice mountains. That was water beneath them.

0:23:28 Unknown

Oh, yeah. I remember when you were on the stand on and it was before the block of ice. But you were You gave a long speech about How does how does a fox get across the river on a turtle's back? Right? Fox? And there's a less

0:23:51 Unknown Speaker #2

kind of grasshoppers. I kind of went through a few different riddles and some of a sops fables to finally find one that made sense for the context of the

0:24:00 Unknown

jury was super lenient with you because apparently, like, uh huh,

0:24:04 Unknown Speaker #2

because I threatened.

0:24:05 Unknown

Yes, yes. But also, you have Ah, just your new hair. Um, was was perfect for the case. You changed a pure look. Um,

0:24:16 Unknown Speaker #2

trial here, huh? Trial

0:24:19 Unknown

your trial here that you have right now?

0:24:20 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh, my current hair. Yes, yes, yeah. At the perm. Yeah, a jury. You can look this up. A jury has never convicted a man with perm. You can look

0:24:33 Unknown Speaker #3

weird for economic statistics that, like nobody really relation. It just worked out.

0:24:38 Unknown Speaker #1

They didn't nail Phil Spector. Tilly straightened his hair, right?

0:24:44 Unknown Speaker #2

Remembers that Phil Spector very walks.

0:24:51 Unknown Speaker #3

No one knows that photo except for us. Because every time we bring it up, No

0:24:55 Unknown Speaker #1

way. First thing that comes up, you'll laugh a couple

0:25:00 Unknown Speaker #2

of perms, right? That's right. Yeah, well, I did the sperm, which was a perm in the shape of ah, sperm. My head was kind of soft. And then I had a tiny little tail like a little ratto,

0:25:16 Unknown

right? And that tested.

0:25:22 Unknown Speaker #2

I brought the jury in, and I put I put him into a focus group and I had a ton of things like that, which is apparently illegal. So don't tell anyone.

0:25:32 Unknown Speaker #1

And then you tried out the chicken perm?

0:25:38 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Yeah, I put a bunch of, ah tomato sauce on my head and Parmesan. Did chicken permanent failed

0:25:49 Unknown

based on the chicken farm?

0:25:50 Unknown Speaker #3

Yes, way Get it.

0:25:54 Unknown Speaker #1

I think those food based haircuts of the new thing? Absolutely, Absolutely.

0:26:00 Unknown Speaker #3

Anyway, let's move on

0:26:02 Unknown

for chicken more based. Dad, I will grant the bread bowl cut. Have

0:26:13 Unknown Speaker #1

you seen? Have you seen the eggplant parm? I haven't. What's that? It's a lot like the chicken firm, but you sub eggplant for chicken. But chicken wasn't even involved in the initial chicken. Yeah, so I don't know how the hairstyle changes. I just know there's two options and vegetarians tend to get the equity on meat eaters tend to get the chicken part. I

0:26:35 Unknown Speaker #3

see. Okay. Well, let's get this one last announcement for me. Out of the way. From now on, hall passes will be replaced by activities specific passes. Examples include office past, locker pass and don't pass.

0:26:50 Unknown

Don't pass. Of course, that isn't used. The restroom. That's no visit. The place where we keep all the trash

0:26:55 Unknown Speaker #3

in the back way actually got rid of trash cans in each of in each of the classrooms. And now, if you need to throw something away, you have to go to an offsite. Don't even if it's a single thing. If it's a have you brought your pounds into

0:27:08 Unknown Speaker #1

the dump and throw it hard in best dumping hottest gravy. That's what our schools got going.

0:27:15 Unknown

Absolutely, absolutely. I got one more, uh, students. Custodian Michaels has requested that people please stop calling him the Stink Man that goes for students, faculty, students, parents and also custodians. Michael's wife and Children.

0:27:39 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, I didn't know he was giving us multiple announcements, but I also have an announcement from Oh, really, he said, that everybody needs to please pick up after your service dogs. If you can't please train them to do it themselves. Campus has been covered in shit lately, and it's getting ridiculous. So I assume that's why he's stinking because

0:28:02 Unknown

guys love service. Dogs, I love way allow kids to bring in their service

0:28:08 Unknown Speaker #3

way. We're not just way say service dog, but people

0:28:14 Unknown Speaker #2

who are blind, right? You can't see it Why do you need one?

0:28:24 Unknown

Enjoy your dog

0:28:27 Unknown Speaker #2

if you have. If your buddy you have a service dog, it should be one of the ugly ones. I think we can all agree on that. Yes, so that a person who can see doesn't have to look at an ugly

0:28:37 Unknown Speaker #3

thing. I hate more than seeing a dog wasted on a blind person.

0:28:41 Unknown Speaker #1

We want really service toxic emotional support, animals on planes, you and little tiny dogs that people take just cause they feel like having your out loud. I love our classroom setting. Since we've invited off, the class has been, uh, it's like a PetSmart in there. It's wonderful.

0:29:02 Unknown

It's just like a pest.

0:29:04 Unknown Speaker #2

Sam, you've been, uh, running yourself out as a service human, right? That's right. Yes. So you'll fly around with people in discomfort him of the nervous on a plane.

0:29:12 Unknown Speaker #1

I'll come for them, that is, You're terrible on plane. I do a bad job. It's they don't know what they're getting in for, but it's a big job for them. It's a huge government services. If they could get my anxiety down to a regular love like, and then help them realize

0:29:27 Unknown Speaker #3

I kind of get you provided a distraction. You go so insane that they get their flying.

0:29:33 Unknown Speaker #1

Oh, yeah, It's a big distraction. Yeah, some TSA does not enjoy.

0:29:36 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, you power bombs. Who wanted the stewardesses?

0:29:40 Unknown Speaker #1

High powered on the stewardess. And then I gave this. Don't called stunner to a pilot,

0:29:44 Unknown Speaker #2

which is, if anyone doesn't have power. Bomb is when you stick someone's head between your legs and then you grab them by their just like waste. Lift them in the air from the waist and throw them on their back. It was illegal. W c W Because so many people are getting hurt. Yes,

0:30:01 Unknown Speaker #3

especially an airplane inside.

0:30:03 Unknown Speaker #2

Everyone knows what a stone cold stunner is

0:30:05 Unknown

You stone cold stunner the pilot, and then you cracked

0:30:09 Unknown Speaker #1

open a bud light and stood on two people's heads in first class and drank it. That's right. Well, I don't really drink much. I poured it all over my head and face and a little bit. Got it. Now

0:30:20 Unknown Speaker #2

you do not fly Well,

0:30:22 Unknown Speaker #3

no, just to reiterate. Uh, anyway,

0:30:25 Unknown

that's crazy. Interview started that business.

0:30:28 Unknown Speaker #1

What? Renting yourself out as a service human? Hey, you know the market dictates. What do Ugo? There was a market for it. I

0:30:37 Unknown

wear slave to the market here. It's wine. High school students here have heard our podcast have any context of where? Okay.

0:30:50 Unknown Speaker #3

Are they aware of the who's who's listen to the first episode of the most recent season that just from here everybody else, Lakoff,

0:31:02 Unknown

Because we're not you not sign up for a podcast app and pay for it If

0:31:13 Unknown Speaker #1

you're not a fan of the podcast already, this was probably very weird and back.

0:31:17 Unknown

Yeah, that's true. Yeah, a lot of rounds in the audience. Well, yeah, this is we just started season three. Um, and, uh, last season, we blew up our old school Hamilton high school. Well, you did, Sam. Well, we did, But I did. Yeah. We all had a hand in it eating, really? But we blamed it on you. Um, And then we escaped to Mexico with El Chapo. Yeah, and we lived with him there for a while. We filmed a reality show that we're still shopping around. It's very similar to the real world in that it's pretty much just the real world with us and chop of. It's called the Real World. Also Tech and Ruthie Air There it's called The Real World. Can we send it to MTV? We haven't heard back yet.

0:32:05 Unknown Speaker #3

Not even a cease and desist, which is? Yeah,

0:32:07 Unknown

but we got super pissed, you know, Chopper, Because he was being a

0:32:09 Unknown Speaker #2

bit of the system about the seas.

0:32:12 Unknown

Yeah, we got super pissed. No, Chapo, because he was just being the worst. Uh, he wouldn't go to the job. Our job. Buffalo Wild Wings.

0:32:20 Unknown Speaker #3

He wore my short.

0:32:21 Unknown Speaker #1

The warrior shorts was your worst. Remain.

0:32:25 Unknown Speaker #2

So we got the hell out of there and we started our own charter school. Levi's Speedo cut jeans presents the swine High Pigs underscore one.

0:32:34 Unknown

That's right. We used Howard Levi's, Howard Levis Levi's money from the Levi's Court on We started our own charter school with

0:32:44 Unknown Speaker #3

the caveat that every week is sponsored by a different cut of Levi's Jean.

0:32:48 Unknown

Yes, To get the money we had, we opened a Levi store at the front of the school, and each week it's sponsored by different pair of jeans. What? Jesus, We

0:32:58 Unknown Speaker #2

This was a Levi Speedo cut Dreams.

0:33:00 Unknown

Levi, Speedo, Jane.

0:33:03 Unknown Speaker #1

They're small in all the right places.

0:33:06 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, and a few of the wrong. Yes.

0:33:11 Unknown Speaker #1

Now these this is a bad cut. A gene. This is a bad, painful genes

0:33:14 Unknown Speaker #2

were a gross Italian, but don't live near a beach. Would wanna wear some denim. Get the Speedo cut.

0:33:19 Unknown Speaker #1

That's right. It's a painful gene that's worth it for the look.

0:33:23 Unknown

Yes, yes. Do you wanna make sure people know you're an asshole? Where they Levi's jeans?

0:33:34 Unknown Speaker #1

Do you want to see your Penis on occasion On accident.

0:33:45 Unknown Speaker #2

So go ahead, pick some of those up $140.

0:33:48 Unknown

11 40 rising.

0:33:52 Unknown Speaker #1

That's right. The longer we have these, the more expensive they get, Guys, so get a fast

0:33:56 Unknown Speaker #2

way. Should bring out our guests. We have a fun yesterday. I have to listen to Season two of the podcast. You'll remember her. She is a poet on a, uh, hopeful mother. One day, Big Red replies for Lady Smith back. Black Mambazo.

0:34:14 Unknown Speaker #3

Wait, have you on the show again.

0:34:24 Unknown Speaker #4

Thank you By having me. Thank you. Thanks for being so much. Thanks for being here. Really disrespected you there and didn't stand up.

0:34:33 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh, there wasn't about you. I just didn't feel like

0:34:34 Unknown Speaker #4

standing. Okay, I take it as a personal attack. I really didn't

0:34:40 Unknown Speaker #2

mean it that way. This

0:34:41 Unknown Speaker #4

place is different than the last place. That's

0:34:44 Unknown Speaker #2

right. This is a new campus. This is our It's a self funded campus. It's our school. Good. I've all I

0:34:50 Unknown Speaker #4

would like to run for the school boy.

0:34:53 Unknown

Okay, You know what? That's fine. You know, we are at the school

0:34:58 Unknown Speaker #3

because we started the charter school. We are sort of the sort of the end of the road. The buck stops with us. So I mean, we'd love to hear to hear some of your plans. Maybe

0:35:09 Unknown Speaker #4

some things that you'd like to come bring to the school this year. I would like to be all of y'all's superior.

0:35:16 Unknown

Wow, what a pitch. No specifics of policy. Just

0:35:24 Unknown Speaker #3

just superior.

0:35:25 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, technically, we don't even have a school board above us. Were sort of just co founder

0:35:30 Unknown

way. Could use a little bit of management. Like, right now, the school is doing all right. But, you know, we could probably, uh, a little

0:35:37 Unknown Speaker #1

bit of infighting. Yeah, of course. It's hard not to have a boss above us to sort of settle some of our disputes.

0:35:42 Unknown

Yeah. Do you have any, um, thoughts for the school upon looking at it and how

0:35:47 Unknown Speaker #4

it's functioning? When I first walked in, I stopped at the cafeteria. All

0:35:54 Unknown

right. Okay. I think I remember last time you were on your obsessed with cafeteria food and having it be not how it was

0:36:04 Unknown Speaker #4

supposed to be. Obsession is the sand on our beaches.

0:36:09 Unknown

I have never heard that

0:36:11 Unknown Speaker #4

saying things. One, please buy my book.

0:36:15 Unknown Speaker #3

You've got a book. You've got a book coming out? Yes, that's what is it? It's a book of poetry. I'm

0:36:19 Unknown Speaker #4

assuming it is. That's called the witches.

0:36:24 Unknown Speaker #1

You're just witches?

0:36:27 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes. Do you remember the book you read in school called the With Roald Dahl book about with Yes. I use that cover stuff. My poetry, the first pages poem call Psych.

0:36:43 Unknown

Oh, so you explain the confusion, right? Upto

0:36:46 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes. Confusion. Is the lighthouse on my main voyage?

0:36:54 Unknown

I guess that makes sense. Use your

0:36:56 Unknown Speaker #2

core audience. Are you trying to reach seven through 11 year olds?

0:37:00 Unknown Speaker #4

I am trying to reach anyone who have two eyes that can read.

0:37:09 Unknown Speaker #2

Well, you're really limiting your audience by making your book Cover the Witches, which is a Children's book.

0:37:14 Unknown Speaker #4

I saw a lot of people here with service, so I assume my book will not sell well here.

0:37:21 Unknown Speaker #2

No. Have you done it on tape?

0:37:23 Unknown Speaker #4

I have done it on tape. Also, I put a dinner covered book in your Leave

0:37:29 Unknown Speaker #1

Things tape. Now it's a regular length book, but you're reading it right?

0:37:36 Unknown Speaker #2

It's what it says, it says as Aziz read by Serpent

0:37:40 Unknown Speaker #4

Kingsley. No, as read by Lady Smith Black.

0:37:46 Unknown Speaker #1

OK, so this book is a lot of lives. It's hard to wrap your mind around what it is because there are so many deceits up top.

0:38:00 Unknown Speaker #4

The book is 19. I was in 45.

0:38:05 Unknown

That's crazy because the book isn't that long, so you must go slow.

0:38:08 Unknown Speaker #4

I read with vigor and

0:38:13 Unknown Speaker #1

all right. I always

0:38:15 Unknown Speaker #2

wanted to hire my own superior. Yeah, I find that the one that promised our world is you can't pick your superiors. They pick you. So I'm curious about what it would be like to have you on the

0:38:24 Unknown Speaker #4

sport. The school board? What are some other fights that you have been invited over?

0:38:30 Unknown Speaker #2

Um, I want a longer school week long. I want to go Monday to Sunday

0:38:38 Unknown Speaker #3

Way, of course. Want to go with the traditional school week Monday to Friday with a two day weekend? Right?

0:38:44 Unknown Speaker #1

And I've been pressing to go just weekends. Take

0:38:47 Unknown Speaker #4

the weeks off, user. Just Wednesday, midnight to

0:38:55 Unknown Speaker #2

midnight on Wednesday midnight, the midnight

0:38:57 Unknown Speaker #4

on Wednesday. Get it over with and then just do whatever you want for the rest of the way. Say, Humpty Hump hops at the camp. Why must you? Campbell. What are you having act? Campbell. Wednesday winds that day. When you say Thursday, Camel, I propose. If I am principal of this school, it's over.

0:39:34 Unknown Speaker #2

That one so poetically remember, it was a very climactic. Poems don't have to always leave to a huge ending. It is not a summer

0:39:42 Unknown Speaker #4

blockbuster. It's not a summer blockbuster. It's more like a blacklist. Uh,

0:39:52 Unknown Speaker #3

I be honest, though that does not resolve the fighting this way.

0:39:58 Unknown Speaker #4

I'm going to go by a proposal. You would prefer to going to school Monday through Sunday, Correct? You only wetness day. You only weak. And you they know when. What if we do this on Mondays, you will come in 9 to 6 on Saturdays. You will come in six tonight, 6 a.m. to 9 p.m. The next day. Saturday, 6 a.m. Sunday on Wednesday. Yeah. You're allowed to do whatever you want to wear. Whatever you want. Say whatever you want. It's an open season, okay? And for the

0:40:44 Unknown Speaker #1

rest of the week,

0:40:45 Unknown Speaker #4

you must be quite

0:40:47 Unknown

eso. I just don't work at all.

0:40:50 Unknown Speaker #4

You work? Oh, you teach you stimulate. You make the Children better for the world. Okay. You you hear every day you get what you want. But you're not allowed to make direct eye contact every day because you did this. And every time they walk by you, they will say you did.

0:41:15 Unknown Speaker #2

Okay, this sounds like it will breed a lot of resentment. Uh,

0:41:18 Unknown Speaker #1

I don't even solution. So Muchas makes the problem worse.

0:41:23 Unknown Speaker #3

You'll for more arguing. I'm pretty

0:41:25 Unknown

sure I was fired. What if

0:41:30 Unknown Speaker #4

we put in ice cream machine in the cafeteria

0:41:34 Unknown

ways? Why you you throw out poetry and then very quickly you start talking about ice cream and the in

0:41:45 Unknown Speaker #4

the cafeteria. Poetry cannot be thrown out, my dear. It can simply you cannot simply be tossed into the wind for the wind will carry it right back to your hands and you will catch it. The butterfly flutters, creating an effect. Ash didn't good yet

0:42:09 Unknown Speaker #1

it's hard on that when you're just telling me something. And when you're in a little thing, a little

0:42:15 Unknown Speaker #4

thing and become a big if you look at it with wide open eyes, eyes wide open eyes, wide shut sex party

0:42:27 Unknown

They're always mentioning these old movies. So what do you think? We need more ice cream in the in the lunchroom.

0:42:36 Unknown Speaker #4

Chocolate strawberry. Bring me a lot. So obey seven up in your shirt.

0:42:45 Unknown Speaker #2

Seven up and or Sherbert were seven up. Eight years. This sounds like maybe just something you would do if you were at a place where,

0:42:55 Unknown Speaker #1

sure, but why do you even like schools? Because I must stimulate

0:43:04 Unknown Speaker #4

the Children I am here for.

0:43:06 Unknown Speaker #1

Do you just want to work here for free food? Is that what's going on?

0:43:10 Unknown Speaker #4

Do you get for you?

0:43:12 Unknown Speaker #1

Why don't I assume people who work in the lunch room also

0:43:16 Unknown Speaker #4

food? If I have your superior, the food shall be

0:43:20 Unknown Speaker #2

sending out a lot of pitches as if you were a child running for class president of ice cream machine and three lunches would

0:43:28 Unknown Speaker #4

also replace a larger found with Cooley. Okay.

0:43:34 Unknown Speaker #1

All right, Well, I mean, you have a platform, which is better than some of the

0:43:38 Unknown Speaker #4

people who come in here and try to work for us.

0:43:40 Unknown

Were you

0:43:41 Unknown Speaker #4

when you went to school? Where you part of the student council? Where you, uh, president and I playing baseball. Okay. I was the only Haman on the baseball T. What position? Shortstop Position. That's hard. Was that tough? Oh, tough as nails. Tough s rocks. Tough as a pebble. Toughest over. Tough as old bread. Tough is old. You. That's a pokey.

0:44:22 Unknown Speaker #1

You don't

0:44:24 Unknown Speaker #2

It sounds like those things got less tough. Is it started with You Didn't read?

0:44:30 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah. When you were playing baseball, could you sort of put the poetry aside and really get into game mode where you field grounders throwing people out of first? What? You know what? Your minds

0:44:39 Unknown Speaker #4

it every time I feel did the ground through someone out. I recited a poem. I did not allow them to return to their dug out. I stopped mid track. Said

0:44:52 Unknown Speaker #1

you would walk up to them and stop.

0:44:53 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes, so baseball. The famously long and boring sport you add his slow poetry.

0:45:02 Unknown Speaker #4

I was able to perfect my poetry doing baseball games. Hoot and holler, scream and shout. Lady Smith just threw you

0:45:08 Unknown Speaker #1

out. That's great! That's really stink. That's gonna really demoralize the other team.

0:45:17 Unknown Speaker #4

Oh, they hated it.

0:45:19 Unknown Speaker #3

Were you also had imagine someone with your talents? Probably was, Ah, vocal force in the locker room

0:45:24 Unknown Speaker #4

before Hendry vocal, Would you like Teoh

0:45:29 Unknown Speaker #1

Give us, like, a pump up

0:45:30 Unknown Speaker #4

cash crop up speech?

0:45:32 Unknown Speaker #3

Oh, I love it.

0:45:33 Unknown Speaker #4

Give me

0:45:33 Unknown

a one that Russell

0:45:35 Unknown Speaker #4

Simmons saw and then had you on a def poetry. Right

0:45:41 Unknown Speaker #3

now, this was the game. The game, right? Who's the cross town rivals? Right? I've heard about this and they were

0:45:46 Unknown Speaker #4

cross town rival with my Yeah. All right. What is the city? What is the scenario? Oh,

0:45:54 Unknown Speaker #1

you're in the locker room

0:45:55 Unknown Speaker #3

at, Of course, baseball. Halftime on, you guys, They're down. They're down by three runs. Uh, but you're you're going up to bat in the next, uh, the next inning.

0:46:12 Unknown Speaker #4

Boom, Pau hit split for next inning. I love to back. I will watch the ball as it floats my way. I will knock it out of the park, as they say.

0:46:30 Unknown Speaker #1

So tough motivation when you're saying, as they say, Also so

0:46:35 Unknown

far, just about you. Yeah. It's not building up the team at all way,

0:46:46 Unknown Speaker #4

You and Allah, See, is I don't strike out. You will jump out of the dug out. I arrived out without out. I also used it to be

0:46:59 Unknown

out all still part

0:47:01 Unknown Speaker #4

of the poem. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. What

0:47:09 Unknown Speaker #1

say you, coach? It is just that college response way. Okay,

0:47:19 Unknown Speaker #4

Unless you want to know. Have you heard? This is my

0:47:24 Unknown

favorite part. He always wants to speak for the coach. Don't do it. Wait, wait. What

0:47:34 Unknown Speaker #1

say you, goat? I don't believe in you guys,

0:47:40 Unknown Speaker #4

but you're wearing approach.

0:47:44 Unknown

Yeah, which would signify he doesn't leave it in.

0:47:47 Unknown Speaker #2

The whole team jumped up.

0:47:50 Unknown

Yeah. You guys lost? Yes. I think

0:47:54 Unknown Speaker #2

the other team said we don't have half times in baseball. What were you doing?

0:47:59 Unknown

Where did you even see? Oh May work, Watts. Russell Simmons. That was that game became famous for so many follow up questions.

0:48:12 Unknown Speaker #1

One of the high school postgame interviews. You know that there's ever been nationally televised high school. Yeah,

0:48:20 Unknown Speaker #4

it was on a

0:48:21 Unknown

1500 follow up questions.

0:48:26 Unknown Speaker #4

Post Game aired right in between family matters and hanging with Mr

0:48:30 Unknown Speaker #1

Cooper. The Guinness Book rated that the weirdest baseball game ever.

0:48:35 Unknown

Yeah, it's crazy, right? And what was the what was the reigning, weirdest baseball game? Beat out? I. It was the run.

0:48:47 Unknown Speaker #3

It was when it was the Florida Marlins, says the Astros, where a sinkhole opened up in the whole infield and they played through it through the baselines. Just sort of cut, like like you were slicing out a weird hunk of cake. And then you took the cake out of the middle. And you, this is making stance, right? This is making stands.

0:49:10 Unknown

But waiting one, right? I think the one

0:49:17 Unknown Speaker #2

right before that was the one. What was the guy from the Atlanta Braves had? No, the opinionated one.

0:49:25 Unknown Speaker #3

Fred McGriff, Frank McGrath Tripper, Tipper Town, the Ripper tripper. Just

0:49:29 Unknown Speaker #1

on Monday with the next. That right.

0:49:31 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh, okay. David. Justice don't know the opinionated watch you Bobby Cox. Uh, yeah, but because the first baseman of the Atlanta Braves,

0:49:42 Unknown

I can't believe they let him play. It was 75 playing first.

0:49:47 Unknown Speaker #2

It was the early nineties Atlanta Braves. The guy that said a bunch of bullshit about people on the subway in new

0:49:53 Unknown Speaker #3

rocker John Ross. John Rocker. So that was the me I remember. Grants.

0:49:59 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, the weirdest game right before the sinkhole. One was the one where they John Rocker, instead of singing the national anthem to say opinions on different minorities to

0:50:08 Unknown Speaker #3

the tune of the national hit

0:50:11 Unknown

Crazy And they shut off the power.

0:50:14 Unknown Speaker #3

There was a flyover. Yeah,

0:50:17 Unknown Speaker #1

great game. But really,

0:50:20 Unknown Speaker #2

Booth players against him is what happened?

0:50:25 Unknown Speaker #3

He went on t pitch a all hitter.

0:50:29 Unknown

Yeah, I just beat

0:50:31 Unknown Speaker #2

the piss out of about you.

0:50:33 Unknown

Yeah, that way. One, right. Oh, that

0:50:41 Unknown Speaker #1

was one of your other games.

0:50:43 Unknown

You? That was you. That

0:50:45 Unknown Speaker #4

was me. I was in high school for a year. Nobody knew nobody.

0:50:53 Unknown Speaker #2

You were the Van Wilder of your camp. Did

0:50:55 Unknown Speaker #1

you look different? Or if you always look like

0:50:56 Unknown Speaker #4

they're always looked as this.

0:51:00 Unknown Speaker #1

Okay, so you sort of looked like Kevin Johnson has, like Larry Johnson as grandmama. Karen was inspired by I

0:51:12 Unknown Speaker #4

was going to high school in Charlotte. No sports people at this school anyway. Okay, I was 1988. Bo Jackson. Just tone huge news. Kansas City Royals needed me to step up. I said, But I am only 60 16 in 1919. 80. Hate you do the math? No,

0:51:49 Unknown Speaker #2

I think that actually 45 now, But I came here on

0:51:52 Unknown Speaker #4

for the 40 four nights. 46. Okay. Anti way I played for the Kansas City Royals

0:52:07 Unknown Speaker #2

already. Probably the weirdest thing that happened immediately brought up a 60 year old woman to replace replace famously was the best baseball and football player in his time. Waas

0:52:24 Unknown Speaker #1

that one off swimmingly

0:52:26 Unknown Speaker #4

at fourth inning, I became

0:52:30 Unknown

That still wasn't the weird thing. I remember at this point,

0:52:34 Unknown Speaker #3

uh, you blew a call glue a bad call, a slide in a home. And

0:52:39 Unknown

you tried to call a grand slam, Not a grand slam. Called off all

0:52:44 Unknown Speaker #2

four runs. But what happened was you are also the head coach of the team. You got into it with yourself. You e

0:52:56 Unknown Speaker #4

took it on my own feet. Yeah, I yelled at myself for 10 straight minutes until I threw myself out and I

0:53:04 Unknown

turned around by your belt loop and threw yourself out.

0:53:07 Unknown Speaker #4

And I turned around and looked at myself and said, You're lucky I have to go back to school. It's lunchtime.

0:53:15 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, this game this morning in the morning

0:53:22 Unknown

that, in my opinion, this game is. So we're it should be the weirdness. But

0:53:28 Unknown Speaker #2

fourth were just,

0:53:30 Unknown Speaker #1

you know, it's the weirdest. What is the one with so

0:53:33 Unknown Speaker #4

many follow up questions?

0:53:38 Unknown Speaker #1

That's the weirdest one. Wait, no. What you're going to bring to the school in the lunchroom way. Know what you're doing there? What are the intangibles? What? You know, that's it's not how you do the job. You're there for its Why do we want your out? Yeah.

0:53:54 Unknown Speaker #4

You want me around? Because I bring big wins, too. Okay.

0:54:01 Unknown Speaker #3

You know what? Those two words may

0:54:03 Unknown

way want Wednesay. Yeah, I

0:54:08 Unknown Speaker #2

bigger. I'll tell you that much.

0:54:11 Unknown Speaker #3

Quincy sounds off.

0:54:12 Unknown

What is Wednesday like? Dresses and fog. Think

0:54:18 Unknown Speaker #3

little woodland creatures, uh, dressing Ritter flowers,

0:54:24 Unknown Speaker #4

dancing of the fox, This stinking of being the fighting of the cat.

0:54:33 Unknown Speaker #1

Sometimes they just end.

0:54:35 Unknown Speaker #4

Goals are whimsical. When Zico whims IQ sick, sick, go The carving of the band. He's sick. Give him some Hunty

0:54:53 Unknown Speaker #3

Hunty Hunt. He's

0:54:55 Unknown

sassy, honey. Harvested from what? Sassy bees. That's really going to such bitches on. They make Hunty. That's

0:55:09 Unknown Speaker #4

why we say the B word.

0:55:11 Unknown

Yes, that's true. E work.

0:55:16 Unknown Speaker #4

Give the best Samadi.

0:55:19 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, I don't think we want you on the school

0:55:23 Unknown

way. Don't want yet. But

0:55:31 Unknown Speaker #4

did I mention what I would do? Just good lunches. Have I mentioned that already? Have I said anything you

0:55:38 Unknown Speaker #2

said? You bring in an ice cream machine have been known a strawberry chocolate and sorbet with seven up in it.

0:55:44 Unknown Speaker #1

That is a good question. Have you said anything?

0:55:49 Unknown Speaker #3

You know, E I feel like we're coming up on the end of time here. But we wanted to do just a quick times the end of

0:55:58 Unknown

tell me about you feel in the know what is more ready to die than us? Bring it.

0:56:08 Unknown Speaker #2

Bring it on a

0:56:09 Unknown Speaker #1

highway to hell.

0:56:10 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, Yes, but anyway, a sort of closing segment. We wanted to do a little thing today, which it was is essentially we just want to say something. You wish you knew in high school you know something for our listeners who aren't in high school now that they can latch onto and sort of take with them in their day to day, uh, to make their day better, their lives better.

0:56:33 Unknown Speaker #1

This was supposed to be, of course, a very informational day with Mr Ryan here. Rightly. We got a lot late email from him. Another thing that Yeah, I got one. A little bit of

0:56:42 Unknown

killing. Oh, yeah. I never mentioned the one that I got from his wife.

0:56:48 Unknown Speaker #1

Do you do that before I tell you when you got okay? Hey said, you know, I'm still really considering getting there, but I'm very, very sad. Almost a strong crying.

0:56:59 Unknown Speaker #2

Oh, yeah. Which was the If anyone wants to rewind the first

0:57:03 Unknown

one way Three stocks. It is a

0:57:13 Unknown Speaker #2

brand new one. Something a brand. You, uh that was all about how he hit a hitched a ride on a mythical dragon. Um, but the dragon was kind of puttering and taking a while. Subject line stall flying.

0:57:31 Unknown Speaker #3

That's good. Thank you. Wow, That's a That's unbelievable.

0:57:42 Unknown

His wife sent me one. His wife sent me one.

0:57:46 Unknown Speaker #2

So the segment we're doing here is all about

0:57:51 Unknown

things you wish you knew in high school? Yeah, I

0:57:56 Unknown Speaker #3

get started. I've got one on the tip of my tongue. Uh, you know, I think something that in high school kids are obsessed, Uh, with the opposite sex, Right? And they think, Oh, I've got I've got to find someone

0:58:10 Unknown

if they have anything to do with it, Yes.

0:58:12 Unknown Speaker #3

I've gotta find someone living opposite sex and they and they and their relationships are all about physicality, Right? Okay. We have anything to do with it. You can wait, that's all. That's all I'll say. You can

0:58:30 Unknown Speaker #2

wait. Spoken like a true virg.

0:58:36 Unknown

You're looking Virgin Howard.

0:58:37 Unknown Speaker #3

No, I'm not guys. I say, Look, I didn't have sex in high school like that.

0:58:42 Unknown

And you have a sense? No,

0:58:47 Unknown Speaker #1

to its credit, he also didn't have sex in college. It was his choice.

0:58:50 Unknown Speaker #3

I had tons of sex in

0:58:52 Unknown Speaker #2

college. So something you something you a current virgin? Wish you knew in high school was you could wait.

0:58:57 Unknown Speaker #3

We act. It sounds like you did. No, stop. That's not fair, guys.

0:59:01 Unknown

Don't wait. You end up like our and

0:59:06 Unknown Speaker #3

hey, Even if I hadn't had sex, If I am a version. I think I'm doing pretty good. Okay. Just listen. A podcast? Yes. Agree. I

0:59:17 Unknown Speaker #1

think we really roasted Howard. I think. Let's move on with other tips, Right? Yeah. I got a tip for the students and I You know, I school in high school. I was nothing but sugar. Nothing but process food, lots of pepperoni. My tip is diabetes catches. That's not something you just run off. What? You knew you had it in high school. I knew I had in high school and I bucked. I said, I'm not changing.

0:59:46 Unknown Speaker #3

Her new pepperoni was gonna be this Such an issue.

0:59:49 Unknown Speaker #1

Pepperoni was huge for me. Guy was too salty. Which activated the sugars and zebra cakes I was eating for breakfast. Lunch Z work eggs for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Yeah, it was the side.

1:00:02 Unknown Speaker #4

Did you have a dip them in milk?

1:00:05 Unknown Speaker #1

Oh, yeah. Delicious. Oh, really good. What a treat. A zebra cake is so that's my tip. Diabetes. You get you?

1:00:13 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, we're coming up on the end of time here, so we should probably try toe roll through these first.

1:00:17 Unknown

That what? Like, stage? We've got 20 more minutes of Paul Ryan puns.

1:00:27 Unknown Speaker #3

You mean emails? Yes. Sorry. There is subject

1:00:31 Unknown Speaker #2

line. Well, I guess I'm up. I don't have one yet, but I'll think of one. Well, I'm speaking right now. I think I wish I knew when I was in high school. I would say is, um no one ever asks to see your diploma. No one ever asked to see it. You could. Why your flights for your stinking teeth? And you're probably fine. Yeah, I think I wish I knew what I was doing. Just one. Yeah, that we're just going toe one landed as hard as we wanted it. Teoh, I think

1:01:06 Unknown

one while I'm doing my shady one. Uh uh. Don't skip out on getting a class ring. These things are invaluable. They're gorgeous. You will wear them until you're dead. They're beautiful. They have nice little stones on them. They

1:01:31 Unknown Speaker #3

always ask you to look if they can see him. People are interested in seeing yours.

1:01:34 Unknown

Yes. Everybody loves that. Everybody cares. The sports you did in high school

1:01:39 Unknown Speaker #2

I proposed to my first wife with my classroom.

1:01:42 Unknown

You gave it to her with it on what? With yours on?

1:01:47 Unknown Speaker #2

Well, with it on, I put it up to her face.

1:01:49 Unknown

You better get it. Kiss it like I was. God know what she said? No. Here.

1:01:57 Unknown Speaker #2

Get now. She didn't make it. Maybe she's outside.

1:02:01 Unknown

She's with their 17 year old boyfriend, Right?

1:02:04 Unknown Speaker #2

Well, every night. Yes, on They live in your house. They moved into my own home and are currently without a house. I remember.

1:02:12 Unknown

If this is information we've already recruited, it has not been released yet.

1:02:15 Unknown Speaker #2

People will find out soon enough. So yeah. Yeah. Lady Smith. What you wishing you in high school?

1:02:21 Unknown Speaker #4

Speaking of diabetes, I will say that Sprite seven up is not the only soda you can add to show you can add many sodas. Too many different ice creams. Welch's grape soda in vanilla ice cream. Delicious strawberry solder in vanilla ice cream relations. Welch is owned shoulder in vanilla ice cream. Delicious. That's a Creamsicle. Yes, Milk in chocolate ice cream. Delicious.

1:02:52 Unknown Speaker #2

Millions of soda. Common

1:02:56 Unknown Speaker #3

Father. That's just a nun. Mixed milkshake,

1:03:00 Unknown Speaker #2

fresh milk. Coz I won't go to a movie theater if they don't have milk in the past. Well, look, Akona

1:03:12 Unknown Speaker #3

Classic. Yes. Sometimes I take I take my big gulp Cup a 7 11 and get a full of milk and 64 ounces of milk. Ice cold with ice. I put a nice and

1:03:22 Unknown Speaker #2

millions 11. I see. Just like they used to look in the

1:03:25 Unknown Speaker #4

commercials for some reason. Also, our chat. That's

1:03:30 Unknown Speaker #2

good. I think that's a great advice. You should take it from all of us on, I guess. If you're listening to this, you know this already. But keep keep checking out every Wednesday will be released. Another episodes of the teacher's lounge.

1:03:47 Unknown Speaker #3

You know, we got a little thing

1:03:50 Unknown Speaker #4

that we like to say sometime.

1:03:51 Unknown

Yeah, I was gonna say this email, uh, this email I got from Paul Ryan's wife because she you know, we've been getting a lot of emails, and we think he's coming. Uh, and it said, uh, it said, um, subject line. Don't believe a word body. Paul Lion waited so long for that. I just got a

1:04:19 Unknown Speaker #1

m. I just got a deal from Paul Ryan. Uh huh. It's got a picture of him making bacon. It's as Paul frying Uh

1:04:31 Unknown Speaker #3

oh, wait, I just got I got a Facebook message. He said he said, uh oh, he says in the car. Uh, can't get ahold of you guys. Call Brian

1:04:50 Unknown

amounting my phone on its him, checking out at Costco. Tons of shit. It says Paul. Buying way.

1:05:00 Unknown Speaker #2

How is he at Costco? He said May 1. Hey, snap chatting me a disappearing photo And he It's a photo of him in teaching pizza. And it says Paul Ryan

1:05:23 Unknown

message. You don't even work here. Message

1:05:27 Unknown Speaker #4

in my bowl of alphabet. It's climate change is real. Paul Bill Diet

1:05:43 Unknown

that's so complicated that

1:05:47 Unknown Speaker #3

every layer of it is gone.

1:05:50 Unknown

Teoh, are you getting? Oh my God, he's no longer

1:05:57 Unknown Speaker #1

journeys are. Maybe he is, but he's getting out of the shower, says

1:06:01 Unknown

Paul, trying. Well, that's good. Maybe he's on his way. Get the same way. I think we got the same one. Yeah, I set it up and then we'll say it at the same time. Sorry,

1:06:14 Unknown Speaker #3

You don't trust me to do

1:06:15 Unknown

that? You want to go, You fucking burden. Let

1:06:22 Unknown Speaker #3

it go. Years will be better.

1:06:26 Unknown

I just got a photo. It's him and he's playing soccer in a blue jersey. And there's another guy, Mitch McConnell, playing soccer in a red jersey and I could see the scoreboard in the bag. This is 2 to 2 Paul time. Yeah, I

1:06:44 Unknown Speaker #3

thought we had the same one, but we didn't have the same one. Actually, which is insane. I got one from him. This came in at 4 20 It's from him on. It's just got us a little joint emoji and it says Yo high in What would you say that

1:07:06 Unknown Speaker #1

that breaks from the whole

1:07:08 Unknown

way? Paul said. Teoh, keep video.

1:07:14 Unknown Speaker #3

Keep the ball thing

1:07:17 Unknown Speaker #2

just because he sent me one. Unbelievable enough. It was tight, man. An instagram post. Did anyone see? You should check it out, but it's a photo. It's a video of him listening to Bob Marley, and he's smoking the weed in it, and he's kind of really into the music. But also, it seems like the vibe of the music and the lyrics. It says Paul's Iowa

1:07:38 Unknown

theme, pushing the rhyme on that he's pushing the rhyme, but it still works.

1:07:43 Unknown Speaker #3

Oh, that's weird. He just sent me another one. It's a picture of him in front of a new car and ugly car. It's very boxing. Just says it's Paul SIA.

1:07:54 Unknown

Sigh on. Yeah, all right. I think it was last. Everybody just two seconds. Check.

1:08:06 Unknown Speaker #3

Everybody. Check your way. Just started the alphabets. Nothing.

1:08:13 Unknown Speaker #4

Nothing in the. Okay,

1:08:15 Unknown

well, we gotta have Oh, my God. Just got tested. Picture for Paul Ryan. God damn, It's

1:08:26 Unknown Speaker #1

his eyeball up close to another sicker persons eyeball says Paul Sty in himself a disgusting.

1:08:42 Unknown Speaker #3

Well, look, I think this should be the end of it. Okay. Oh,

1:08:46 Unknown

God, I just got So it's eyes crazy. It's Paul. It seems to be a a little Jif, so it moves on. But it's him. I know his wife. It's him. Fucking not his wife and his wife's walking in on. He's shaking his hand, and that is why. And it's just as Paul denying that's good. Oh, my God. I just gotta go toe things like Paul because this is funny. This is funny.

1:09:33 Unknown Speaker #1

He's a picture. No subject line. It's a picture of him on stilts. Tall guy in

1:09:41 Unknown

Wait, wait. I thought we needed Paul. But on that one, we don't wait.

1:09:47 Unknown Speaker #3

Don't need

1:09:52 Unknown Speaker #2

anyone, but do you have one?

1:09:53 Unknown Speaker #3

Uh, yeah. I do know for just anyone. You just say he's everyone. Uh, yeah, he he said he did. He send me one, Uh, and it's him. He's rock climbing. It's a picture he's rock climbing on. He's pretending like he's about to slip and it says, Ah, uh, fall comma, Try and

1:10:16 Unknown

no Okay, I would be mad at you, but since no one in the room laughter that

1:10:26 Unknown Speaker #3

I know you're right. Okay, I be so pissed. I realized that it was City last. Just I got a pretty crazy wear apply afterwards. Hey, Paul, quit it.

1:10:43 Unknown Speaker #2

It's This one's pretty similar to yours, but I think he actually sent it to me.

1:10:49 Unknown Speaker #1

I'm looking for the authentic

1:10:50 Unknown Speaker #2

West and its It looks like it's him, uh, testifying in court that he did something when it's clear that someone else he knows did it and it was in the body. It says Fall guy in

1:11:04 Unknown Speaker #1

Oh, my God, I got another. This is crazy. He said he just didn't know what to do. He was stressed out about the show, and he's apologizing for not coming. There's a picture of him being bashful, Paul shy,

1:11:19 Unknown Speaker #2

shy that one before. Here's and here's one from the soccer game from earlier the scores three to this is Paul.

1:11:33 Unknown Speaker #1

I think this is cultural appropriation. This one says Paul, show I am. Oh, just like a Native American. This route, this one's mean to this one. Super main. It's a picture of

1:11:49 Unknown Speaker #3

a little person. Just a small guy. Definitely don't need Paul. And then

1:12:00 Unknown

No, I

1:12:03 Unknown Speaker #4

just got a copy of Paul Ryan's autograph book. What had this one is from 50 Cent is to Paul get rich or die trying.

1:12:13 Unknown Speaker #1

Ah! Ah, What a busy day for email. Yeah, nice thing. Art

1:12:22 Unknown Speaker #3

emails, air overloaded. For sure,

1:12:24 Unknown Speaker #2

Descends Autograph is just the name of one of his personal just That's the dampers album on that.

1:12:34 Unknown Speaker #3

Oh, man. Well,

1:12:35 Unknown

I guess we'll never get to see how to become a

1:12:37 Unknown Speaker #1

two faced loser. I forgot. You still have a pretty good way live

1:12:45 Unknown Speaker #3

in it anyway. Guys, thank you so much for coming out. Teoh this live recording of the teacher's lounge. Uh, and we do have something we like to say when we sign off, and that is okay.