when Jesus came to Ben's life. And let my Jesus. Jesus. Let my Go. All I want for my Jesus is a big booty hoe.

All I want for my

jesus is

a big

booty hoe. Lord, it's your resurrection

day. And we come to you saying

crack a bottle and celebrate. You did it. You left. You came back. And you left again. And I think the lesson to me and what I wanna pray about and thank you for is teaching me about resilience, about holding burdens, with grace and strength and about giving my life over for others. A lesson I learned so beautifully when I let a gold lady in front of me at the Starbucks when I was very thirsty for my coffee and I said I'm in a rush but, ma'am, Thirsty. Go ahead. I was very thirsty for my coffee. Thirsty

for coffee.

I was a little dehydrated, so I needed my coffee. But I still let the lady in front of me. Not unbeknownst to me. Unbeknownst. He was actually A PA for a local production and had a big order. And the and the kitchen was understaffed. And it was a long long wait for moisture Epstein.

But tell us they got all the orders right the first time.

You almost turned into a pig

out all the orders come on.

And unfortunately, they got all the orders one hundred percent backwards. A tall iced tea was served as a short hot coffee. A cake pop was served as a savory, popped cake. Yeah. A cake that it exploded. And the Jason Meraz a CD that she had ordered because she was enjoying the music playing over the loud speaker and saw the CD upfront

--

no.

--

ended up being the band. Disturbed. All opposites, folks. But Lord, I remembered that you had sacrificed for others and you did it quietly and gracefully and I used your grace to not yell at the elderly p a who I'm sure has not had a great life based on the scenario she is in. And I hope that Dan Harmon and everybody in the writer's room for Rick and Morty enjoyed their orders that eventually got corrected. Amen. Lord.

Amen. Amen. But, of course, continue. Lordy, Lordy, look who's forty again because he's back. Yeah. He must have gone over the hill and come back over once again to rise. To the top of the hill, To tee off one more time, to live life again, and let us know, I think, that he cares for us.

Yes.

Yes. Jack and Jesus went over the hill. To fetch a pail of metamucil? Metamucil.

We don't often tell the story of Jack who walked with Jesus

--

they have

--

over the hill on his fortieth birthday. And then back out of the tomb, yes, there was someone else in the tomb With Jesus, it was Jack. He was fetching a pail from the well in the tomb.

We all

know Jack accidentally got stuck in the tomb while just getting a water in front of Jesus. Yes.

Wasn't as lucky as Jesus.

Amen. Yes. Rest in peace

jack. But, of course. Jack. Moving on.

Amen, but not done.

Amen, not done. Dear Lord. You cheated death. Something we all wish we could do, cheating death,

none of us are okay with our situation.

No.

Cheating death, Lord, you're the one person on record who died and came back to life. Other than, of course, People in magic shows who get cut in half and are brought back together and back to life.

Same thing. Right?

Which you were very briefly. A lot of people don't know this. But after you got up from the tomb, you were a magician's assistant, you were chopped in half in a magic show, inside of Damascus and you cheated death again. You cheated death again? Lord, and you were an amazing magician's assistant, Lord.

It's all in the hands. It's all

got them all, cut you in half, you were dead. You came back

to life. A lot of

people don't know that before you even made it to the twelve disciples, to show them the holes in your hands, you were hit by a group of people running. You were hit by a big crowd and they trampled you. And you were like, damn it. I'm dead again. And you only had three resurrections. That's it. So you had used them all up. Lord. And luckily, you made it unscathed. You were shot at a couple times whoops. Fie. Not guns because they didn't exist in But

he was practicing for Goliath.

He was -- Slingshot. -- Lord. He was slinging some slingshots at Goliath or a big wooden figure. Anyway, Lord, you made it. You cheated death three times that day and we're so happy you did. And we're glad that the one that is in the Bible is about the tomb, because the other two were not that good of stories. Amen lord, but continue.

Amen lord, but one more to go. Mashed.

Lord, it's me, butch. Everything the guys have said already really kind of covers the gamut of everything we wanted to say to you today, but

--

group prayers.

--

i wanted to slide in and add At one more thing Lord, just one lesson that you have taught me Lord. Through your resurrection and your sacrifice of your only son for our sins, to cleanse us of our sins, to make it so that we can be bad. And we don't have to worry about it. I wanna say Lord. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. For just, you know, making it so the bad stuff that we do. That doesn't really count. And I hope someone

you wanna get off your chest, butch. Seems like you know I'm just gonna go ahead recently.

Much with a shameful look today.

Just want to go on

the record

and say that a

little bit

of dust.

Yeah. Yeah. Because Jesus died for our sins, then It shouldn't matter if a local big box store was vandalized overnight, and turned back into a church. If the cops found out about it and they and they sort of found out who had done it. Hopefully, they would Think back to the example of God and think back to the example of Christ and say, well, he did it, but Christ died for his sins, so he we're not gonna punish him. He's out being trouble. Mhmm. Butch isn't in trouble. Nobody's gonna get in trouble for what

not an eye for an eye. Butch's house was ruined, decimated by this big box store multiple times. So he's allowed to decimate the big box store. Yeah. And hopefully also, I guess, mess their underwear like he messed his own when he was so shocked that he

okay. Hold on now.

Those asses.

That they that is true.

You can

do that, butch. You can

do that. You can go mess their underwear. It's an eye for an eye for the ass pants. Shit their

pants, bitch. Shit their pants.

Subiliate them in front of their kids.

Make them cry in the town square.

Demand respect from for them while crying.

Alright. Well, Lord, everything everything that they just said, I hope that for myself and I hope that one day, I could stand up for myself and and make the people around town feel the way that I feel right now. And I know that sounds a little bit like a threat Lord. I know that that sort of has has a tinge of. He's gonna do something real bad and I but I swear Lord, I'm done. I'm done making statements, Lord. I'm just here to serve you.

Okay. This seems like a double threat there.

Lord, I'll just all I wanna do is preach, and that's all I plan to do, Lord. Preach. So thank you.

You, anything. You know. You

man.

Alright. Should we do it? Yeah.

Mask is out. And the call fees on.

I got a couple scenes on. My chest that I got to

get on.

Brandon some drinks.

And pour me a up for that, Joe.

Welcome to the preachers now. Maybe let's

folks, thank you so much for tuning in to episode four of four. Of the Preacher's lounge, Story of Jesus, a four part mini Easter Special. Of course, butch Davidson, you heard me introduce myself before here, as always, with the other three preachers. Here to sort of round out the tail. You know, dot the i's, cross the t's, cross the crosses, you could say.

No offense. No offense.

No offense. No offense or

oh, by

the way, we wanna drop a whole big no offense about this whole

we've got Yes. We've gotten some feedback about the first three episode and we were just like to say no offense. You're totally right, Lindsay. No offense, lord. None.

We're just hoping to drop a big no offense to everybody.

And if you

could give us a none taken with, like, a thunder clap or sort of righted and lightning, that would be great for us lord because There's

some sort of sign,

lord, to

let you to let us know you're

not angry. Police the blasphemy police actually showed up to my house last night. I don't know if you guys got a visit from the blasphemy police.

Yes. Yeah. They came over and they used my name in vain a bunch.

Really? They used your name and stuff. Well, they had they they had sex with my neighbor. Oh, no. They coveted thy neighbor. That's their neighbor. They covered my they're the sex.

They do to you what you're not supposed to do to the lord.

Exactly. You

know what? And they they came over and stole my ox.

No. Uh-uh.

Oh my god.

That is you were about ready to plow

with the docks.

Yoked. Bad off.

Well, I had just yoked it for the driving range. It was the pick. Of course. And they came over

--

oh. -- and they took it

wow. It was the wow.

Wow. The picker would you for the range.

What's the picker?

It it drug a little thing that picks up the balls.

Oh, yes. It's

usually a man in a golf cart covered in metal, but mine's just

for walks. For Huawei, butch needed some money. He was doing that covered in thin pillows. Right?

That's right. That's right. I was happy to help a fellow. Fellow men's club.

Bush was out there

in the bush track.

We had a lot of good jobs for Butch.

Butch was out there in the full preachers get up, little white square, getting beamed. People were really aiming for you, butch.

Yeah. Well, you know, I like most things in my life, I choose to look at this as a trial that brings me closer to the Lord.

You caught titles right in the teeth that you still haven't

recovered from.

I'll say this. I didn't catch the time titles, the titleist, hit me in the two front teeth, knocked him out the perfect cut distance between the other teeth to to sort of catch it. And it was lodged in there between I had no idea my incisors

were

so strong.

Well, because it knocked you

tried to get it up.

It knocked you out and the doctors on-site tried to tee off out of your mouth because they were like

well, yeah.

They get it out.

Well, you don't wanna lose

their hand. What happened was?

Yeah. Yep.

You're not full.

Well, what happened was the ball went my mouth and and and and somebody saw it happen and screamed as their doctor in the house. And a doctor said, yeah. I'm about to tee off on four. And so the doctor came over. I guess just assumed because I was sort of At that point, I had fallen down so hard. I had sort of buried myself in the ground a little bit, and the ball was just sort of sticking out of my mouth just a little bit. And this doctor

--

of course.

--

hit the hit the ball right out of my teeth, which which, of course, ruined the rest of them. But he

rip to lift right off.

He had -- Yeah. -- he had not taken a lesson in a while, and he hit a divot that took off a majority of your upper lip.

Yes. Little bit of noise.

And he yelled is there a pro in the house? And you guys come from a golf pro eventually. The other pro showed up.

A pro came over, they reset, they put another ball in my mouth.

Well, the pro showed up and was like, hey. Yeah. You need to stop just grabbing a driver and think this is what golf's about. We need to start with a wedge and get your swing right before we move on. And they they dug pretty deep a pretty

deep divot again. It was really unfortunate that somebody taught somebody had it. Yeah. It it was a bummer that they taught somebody how to hit with a pitching wedge off of my face because that's very much a club that you need to dig in on. Damn. And But

the cool thing was they they repaired their divot with loose sand, so they stuffed a bunch of sand in your mouth.

And of course raked, of course, right Well,

that well, they had to yell out, is there a gardener in the house?

The gardener

you have got to rake the tramp.

The garnered one of the

biggest rules that Oh,

if you

of course and Sunday school.

Lindsey, real life equipment on the rake.

You

must rake the trap. He who does not rake the trap will have their trap unath raked.

We should say welcome to all our new listeners from the golf community. We've been getting a lot of letters from the religious community that are a little bit negative and I'll say keep it to your day yourselves. But from the golf community, we're getting a lot of positive feedback and a lot of people have been directed towards dog like methodist eighth day Adventist Church. And so Lindsay you've been You know, you've had a long line for for tee off and for sermon. Right?

I've been very busy. We've had to add two cart girls to drive around

and

feed everybody hot dogs and drinks.

Mhmm. Of course.

We've had to add another pro in the shop and of course we've had to add three more holes on the course.

Oh, wow.

So we're talking twenty one Twenty one hole.

It's a twenty one hole course y'all.

Now how does more holes accommodate a busier course

well, you still play eighteen. You still play eighteen,

but it's

one to one. There's more to

see through.

Yeah.

Now that's interesting because it feels like no two rounds on the course are probably the same because I'm assuming you don't put them in order, so sometimes you're starting on seventeen and you're ending on four.

Yeah. Well, it's not only thing that changed. We were doing a Sunday, Monday program, but now we're doing a Sunday, Monday, Tuesday program. So on that third day, you need the extra three holes. Because you wanna get in there and make sure that you're you're praying enough, if you know what

i mean.

Well, I love the new holes. Because they're all very different. One of them is a par fifteen. That's a long hold.

That's right. Very small. That hole actually goes around the entire course that was. Right. Wow. There you know, it's called dog leg methodist. This has four dog legs extremely left. It's a ninety degree dog.

It's a

oh, it's a ninety degree. So it's a hard, hard left. Harm hard

left. Backing, of course, right up to the church well, where the church used to be. And and then on the other side, right up to the freeway. Yes.

And one of and one of the other holes is cart only. Like,

you must bring the cart on the green, must putt from the cart. This is one of the holes that is built for speed. This is a speed hole, so you must stay in the cart. There is no fairway. It's all gravel.

I'll say, Pete, for a speed hole, people spend the most time on the cart hole. I feel like it's a little harder and people are also having blast driving around the it's a literal driving range.

And I love the third hole. Nothing but rough. And rough is in all caps. So this is a really wild wild grass you have growing out there.

That is to represent the trials and tribulations that our

--

mhmm. -- lord and savior had to walk through. Mhmm. And we didn't the the lawnmower was broken.

Oh. That's that's taking a negative and turn it into a positive. It seems mostly

the Lord did when he rose from the dead.

Yes. He rose from the dead, and he took those lemons and made them into lemonade for everyone said, I'm -- Yes.

--

mac. I'm gonna be an assistant to a local magician, and everyone said, He's back, baby. This is why we missed when we lost him the first time around, and now we're kind of doing the thing we all love.

And you don't got shit.

Run in two wilderoes.

Yes. The disciples were actually at that magic show.

It was

that was shocking

to see him.

Well, it was it was very similar to in and of itself. The Hulu Magic Show.

I haven't. I haven't seen it.

The rule of Easter.

Well, instead, it was very similar to David Blaine.

Now there's actually no need to finish

his sentence. Yes. Okay. Okay. One of the best tricks

of all time. David Blaine, going up with the balloons, freaking out and coming back down. What a trick. What a trick.

Well, speaking of what a trick, we must just really state that today is the most important day of almost all of the discussions, the resurrection.

That's right.

It is what proved to us that Jesus was not. Just some trickster with some water into wine and some tricky things here and there. He was officially divine.

Mhmm. Yes.

Of course today. Give it the notary public stamp of approval. They had the notary come down and say, yep, that's divine.

Yes. And and -- Yes.

--

you know, all of

us Christians know this, but Easter represents the day of the resurrection. That's right.

It doesn't mean Yeah.

Cors does.

Today today

know that you said. Yeah. And you knew this moisture? Yes.

I mean, yes. I I look at this picture of Jesus behind me every day, and I consider his resurrection.

That is the wrath. That is very much the wrath -- Oh.

--

jesus can can put on the world if he's not happy.

And then he wakes up on the

wrong side of that.

I'm glad I don't of

jesus as well. That is definitely Jesus.

I'm glad I don't have it's definitely not Will Farrell. In a costume.

And who else, isn't it?

I mean, aren't you guys you glad you don't have Jesus the power of Jesus' wrath for when

you say wake up on

the wrong side of the bed.

Oh my gosh.

I would be I would be hitting Florida with a hurricane every morning. I didn't get my coffee. Am I wrong am I wrong? Oh, you are not wrong.

You are absolutely right. I mean, you know, some days I wake up and it's just one of those things wrong side of the bed at my alarm. I accidentally set it too early and then I wake up and I've got all these emails and all it all I wanna do is send some sort of tsunami through the, you know, Bahamas. But I wasn't given the wrath of God. So luckily all I do is I scream in my children. I get into an argument with a stranger who in traffic and then I move on?

Yes. Yes. You do throw a lot of water on people though. I think you're kinda tied to the tsunami thing.

Well, yeah. I said I get an argument in stranger and traffic, which obviously is caused by me in traffic running up to them as soon as we roll their window down and then spritzing their faces if they're getting by me, and I say drive slower, you're gonna kill somebody.

Is that why you added those big construction igloo coolers to the back of your car?

You noticed those. Yeah. Yeah.

You should

fill up a little couple of water.

Yeah. So that's just Take a

load off, more you joking? Oh, yes.

Damn. We

should get back. Confident.

Well, I just love Easter, and it is just

and you get it. That's what I love the most. When you talk about Easter, it's like I'm hearing it straight from the Well, no.

Lower Moit. You swore you were very familiar with Easter. You know knew all the traditions. Top to bother. You knew you knew you know it. Top to bother. You swore. You swore to us.

I swore on the on the the bible.

Right.

And I heard that

what Jesus likes.

Yes. He loves the Bible.

I know.

Yeah. Kicking back. Now, Moish, you you swore you knew all the traditions of Easter, but I was told I was Portia Epstein.

You're all best friends.

Portia Epstein, I was told that there was a little bit of confusion when your kids were let out the back door to go find what was supposed to be Easter baskets with eggs, dyed eggs

--

mhmm. -- and stuff. The tradition was a little you botched it.

Well, I guess I'm still learning a little bit. You know, we all have more to learn. So, yes, instead, they found baskets of dried crackers. The films of Mel Brooks and a letter guilting them for not pursuing the career I had won them to do. And they said they said, dad, this is a little Jewish. And I said, well, I don't know what you're talking about. This is Easter, you know. And I had made the eggs. I made them. They were just a little you know, they were a little gone by the Tiet, a few of them, and then I dropped a few.

So they were all gone. You ate all of them and dropped the rabbit.

As I dropped a few, and obviously the rabbits were I had a horrible allergic reaction to the rabbits. And puffed up like Martin Short in pure luck.

We know exactly what you're talking about.

One of our favorite characters. Martin in an FS. We love Martin in an FS.

So my Easter this year was my kids asking me why is Jiminy Glick in the house? What's going? I said it's not I know I raised you on the films of Glick and the TV of Glick, but it's me, your father.

Oh, wow.

But yeah. They recognize the click because that, you know, when I dressed up as Santa for a Christian holiday that Santa does that we all know.

Christmas.

Of course. You had half the worst.

Taking a load off, he gets Christmas when he was fed it. So now he's taking a load off.

So you're

you're typically pretty busy around Christmas. You say, you don't have a you don't have a lot of time for the Christmas elevation. What are you normally doing?

It's the busiest time of the year. Yeah. Well, you know, I'm trying to find around Christmas Well, a lot of it is going to stores and complaining about the awful music. Call you. Calling in the local radio shows and requesting songs that are a little a little less of that type, you know. The Dradle song for a

so you would wanna hear her on the radio?

Yes. Harvey Danger, famous Jewish lead singer.

You didn't wanna hear root off the red nose range.

No. Play flagpole sit up. But, yeah, I but it's a the I love celebrating Jesus. Of course, Christmas is his his marriage. His marriage that we're celebrating.

Of birth?

His birth, which you can't be born if someone wasn't married. Am I right?

Well, famously, again, boy famously, that's the opposite of the story of Jesus we talked about.

Jesus was part of the nineteen.

Oh, watch out. You're leaning way back on that chair.

You're gonna fall off my back.

Fell. Also, Moish,

i don't know that Jesus was part of the virgin. I don't know if that if that is exactly what it is.

Mooch's back as fuck.

Moisha slipped a disc again.

Excuse me. Moisha, your back is ruined.

Keep going on. I'll be our cab. I'm just gonna take some bed, kids.

Look at Moisha, Risen,

once you are resurrected.

Risen from the floor. Moisha rising from the floor.

That's pretending to be a

moisha, you thought Jesus was was more of a mummy, right, when he came out of the tomb. Yeah.

I don't think we released that episode because I was a little embarrassed. But, yes, I did a bit of a mommy, sir. I was trying to figure out what Jesus was like when he was resurrected. So we had the mummy tapes. We had the, obviously, the zombie Yeah. I thought he was fast like the twenty eight days later zombies. Then I thought he was a gross little alien and so we landed on just normal.

Right. I'm glad we landed on that.

Not a mummy.

Well It's it's a It's a wonderful holiday and it's for me, all holidays are not about the facts of the holiday. It's about family. Celebration and remembering the things that that applies.

And tradition. You know? And tradition is is a huge thing, which is I

i just I

did wanna quickly

what a crew.

What a crew?

I did wanna quickly Thank everybody who did make it out to Davidson Home Church, which, of course, is now Davidson Home Audio Church I did do a little renovation in the Best Buy and turned the home audio room into a church because, of course, my house had a Best Buy built over it. They wouldn't give me any space in

their church. To preach you were forced to preach from inside of an active dryer. Right?

I was. I was I did. I did an entire sermon from the inside of a Maytag, and I made a deal with the Best Buy employees that I would I would, every few words, say, wow, this is getting my shirt so clean. So I did

wow. Being in the dryer wasn't enough. That wasn't enough of it

when I had between before the dryer.

No. They said They said I needed to to name drop and brag about the appliances throughout the the the sermon. Right. I I had to use a a Sony hifi audio receiver through a a JBL home audio system pumping

--

uh-huh. -- my sermon out into the room, had people sitting on the sort of model couches watching the TVs, listening to my sermons, talking about how how thick and creamy the base was, and it and it was very nice.

They may work at a Best Buy now. And they should work at a busby.

It's it's part part accidentally

showed you they accidentally showed you disciplining your son in q LED?

Oh, yeah. That was one of the most high definition Spankings, I've ever seen.

Well, yay. But you spank still.

Right? Well, They say, spare the rods spoil the child. Please not

work, expect it to work.

Right? Yeah.

Is that working your sermon?

Listen. My son, you

bring you bring your kid to work to Spank. Right? Well,

you're old fashioned. You are old fashioned. I'll tell you.

I had him report

not enough people's kids getting spanked at their

workplace in my in my opinion.

Specifically at their workplace.

Yes.

Yeah. So I did on the full the full Bank of TV test test floor model TVs, You saw somehow they got multiple angles of this bank. And I did I had to do a public apology. I brought my son up in front of the entire Best Buy.

Accidentally spank to begin.

Yeah. Well, thank you very much. Well

right? Because six people said

well, because it was well, because here's the thing. And a Best Buy is second turnover. The turnover in the Best Buy is so frequent. A lot of people in there, when I went up there, they were like, I'm sorry. What are you apologizing for? I said, oh, about thirty five minutes ago, I did this, and then I spanked my son again at about fifty percent strength. And so this sort of went on

in Luke. So you were

part of your defense was it was at fifty percent strength. Right? I see.

Yeah. But this went on to Lou

i'm sorry that happened to you.

No. It's okay.

We're so sorry that happened to you.

We're sorry it happened to you. I do wanna whoever did that

to you, you just didn't deserve it.

I can't believe you were put in that position. I do really quickly want to I don't wanna take up too much time. But I wanna let our listeners know that I am gonna spend six months in minimum security for piracy. The the law came down hard against me. My lawyer was not able to defend me very good at all. Mhmm. And Yeah.

That was a tough He showed

he showed up looking like a zombie and was doing a lot of dancing. So it was not a great defense

--

yes.

--

but it was cool.

He did do the full thriller defense and the I was surprised the jury all knew the whole dance. I didn't know if it talked about it before whatever. And I was like, oh, he's a lock. The whole jury's dancing together but it was still a pretty quick verdict.

Yes. One

of the quickest products in town.

Yeah. You know what the biggest surprise to me was, Bruno Mars was the foreman. And I was like, I thought he'd like this.

Yeah. It's

practically his whole act.

I yeah.

Bruno was We thought we had a good jury selection because we had Bruno in there but turns out they're not gonna let me get off

--

alright.

--

for for send making thirty thousand copies of wally.

Right. Oh my gosh.

Okay. Let me do it. That's So anyway, I will be gone for a while, I'm looking for a replacement now, a replacement pastor for the interim. So

yeah. It's a tough one because so far it's one of those things where you don't want it to be someone who's better than you who might take your slot. But you want them to be serviceable. You don't wanna lose fans. And so, you know, I Leno did well last weekend in the interim And I'm wondering if he's gonna go the whole nine or is are you considering other people?

Well, he wanted to come back and do a tag. Like he does sometimes with Jimmy Fallon in the monologue and do a few jokes, and everybody gives him pity applause. And And I think he did pretty well, but I wanna see another car guy in there, you know. I want a Jack Sheppard. I want Seinfeld. You know? I want to talk

about You want the guy some dirty jobs. Right?

Well I want the Microw. My grow.

My grow.

The the top tier guys are coming in from England, and they're gonna be pretty offensive, I heard.

I did hear that you you thought about a hologram for a while, you decided against that?

I did. Yes. Billy Graham's hologram. Billy Graham. Holly Graham or Bill. Holy

holly Graham. Holly Graham

is going to be

there next week and his son sucks

so it's so weird. So I don't know what that has to do with anything, but His son who sucks will be there.

As your friends, I want you to know, we will be there for you for your six month sentence. Whatever you need from us. You know?

Just just promise me, you will come in the prison and you'll eat shitty sandwiches and on a cement picnic table with me. Please. Please.

Look. Well, whatever you want. I'm a little you know, the drive is tough for me. I'm a little booked up. Whatever you want. I will I will do my best. I will

all do my best. Through thick and thin. Thick. You can call me any time -- Okay.

--

my phone line has been on the Fritz -- Interesting.

--

but I will call you back. What I'm And but

yeah. Well, I'll tell you this. If you need me, and you can get a hold of me. Butch. I'll just

do this

one, butch. But I'm gonna

tell you this. Butch. No. But I just did this one. Your phone line can't be on fritz butch.

No. Well, no, the problem is I don't have a permanent address anymore, so I really don't even know where where where you could get a hold of me at this point. I guess if you see if you if you see my car driving by the prison and you make enough noise that I could stop, maybe I can help you. I I will do my best.

Oh. There it goes.

If I

see your car and I make enough noise in the yard, maybe I'll stop. Alright. That's actually good enough. I appreciate that, buddy.

Well, we were gonna be praying for our friend. And I think we should take a quick break in everybody -- Yeah.

--

we ask pray that Quentin is able to get a hold of us to come get to the prison. Pray that he makes it through Lindsay's fritzy phone line or butch is driving by and hears him. And that I find a moment in my absolutely swamp schedule to get in there. But let's take a quick break and bring on our guests to talk about Jesus' resurrection. While we've talked about the birth, we've talked about the life, and we've talked about the death of Jesus Christ with various experts, and today is no different. We'd like to bring on our guests to talk about Jesus' resurrection. I I I hopeful new friend for all of us. Welcome and what was your name? I didn't get it before we started.

Oh, My name is Jesus Resorexion.

Oh, and you're an expert in Jesus' resurrection.

I am absolutely not. I did not know I was here to talk about my family. I was here to talk about my business.

Oh, Oh. Well, surely, you know I mean, surely with a name like that, you know some you had to have picked up some stuff. You know, surely, you know some.

I I know that he was dead at age thirty three and

--

right. Okay.

--

came back. Very good. I Came back on the same page.

Hold on. How did this booking mistake happen? Did did somebody just did somebody, like, look around in the phone book were they in a hurry who was responsible for booking this week?

I am listed in the White Pages. Resorex, you are with Auto Sales.

I thought that's on me. Oh. I thought it was I'm so sorry everybody. And I complained about the last three, guess not being experts enough. And I feel like I got a guess too is probably the least of an expert.

I got great deals for you though. A nineteen eighty three Alpha Romeo thirty three sixty nine ninety five. In nineteen eighty three Alvaro Arna seventy nine ninety five. So In nineteen eighty three Alvaro Delfino, seventy nine ninety five.

I feel like these are pretty rare cars. These sell for Romeo's.

And they were between seven and eight thousand dollars?

Yes. Maybe they're not that rare.

On nineteen eighty three, Austin Maestro, seventy nine ninety five.

Well, this sounds like you must be doing a big Easter say

a huge Easter say. I'm glad you brought me on a huge answer, sir. We will give we'll be giving eggs to the children. If you bring your kids, they will have eggs for them. Yes.

Now what kind of eggs? You're talking about -- Brown. -- fried

eggs.

Brown. White eggs. So so free range. And bleached. Yes.

Boiled. Did you

die? Boy.

Free range bleached and boiled.

I am using I'm using the engine pan. Of a nineteen eighty three Chrysler e class, and I'm filling it up with water, and I'm pouring all of the eggs into the into the engine pan, and I am boiling them for the children. White. Oh, that's interesting. Happy Easter. Wow. Come on down, darling. I feel not all sales. We have been in the family for years. You've been in the family. I've been I've been in the family for years, but the car dealership has been in the family for even more years. Since my great great grandfather came here from Kalisco.

Okay.

Okay. And you

did you I'm I'm kinda confused. What happened when you were out family? Did you marry into men? Or was there a

was there a brief sabbatical that you were away from the family?

Was there a was there a beef sabbatical where you had

it was a beef tobacco.

I see.

I I took some time off to it going a beef trip to find the best pre rage beef,

of course.

But I could not use the family name they took it away from me. You see, if I had left When I left, my mother my mother said, you you cannot you can no longer carry the Resorexial name -- Mhmm.

--

if you were going to Did you choose it?

Did you have a temporary last name Jesus?

I did. You did. Yes. Did it have did it

have it was anything to do with the Resorexion? Or did you just have fun with it? It was Watson. Okay. Okay. Okay. He's just Watts Were you solving crimes? I was solving beef.

I was solving beef crimes.

Okay. Now now that I had I saw this on the bottom of your your car ad. I also solve beef crowns. And my thought was, what is that? My initial thought is, what on earth is a beef crown?

I'm glad you asked And I And then I

thought about it, and I was like, is it simply a stolen burger? Or is it more of, like, involving cattle? I'd love to

there are tons of beef crimes around the country every day I say.

Okay. So you wanna get the word out on me?

Yes. I wanna get the word out. I want people to stop having their beef stolen from them because they work hard and they work hard for their beef. Beaf is expensive. Of course. The better you get, Australia and y u seventy nine ninety five.

Oh, you're selling it.

Okay. So is that seven thousand nine hundred or your car's seventy nine dollars?

My my car's at seventy nine hundred dollars. The beef is seventy nine dollars. Okay. Okay.

Got it. Great deal. So your

numbers, you're pretty firm on the digits.

Yes. A Puugeot, two zero five nineteen eighty three seventy nine ninety five.

So many

that works early eighties.

I got hey. Do you do you know any other numbers It feels like you only have a frame of reference for about three different numbers.

What? That's a good question. Jesus, do you know any other numbers?

Yes. I know better than assessing.

How dare

you? Count?

Eighty ten, haters.

Nineteen eighty three cents. Caraville, sixty nine ninety

five. Okay.

So he knows to sit.

What is a Plymouth caramel? Oh, nice way to eat gravy.

Well, let's I mean, let's bring it on back.

Let's k.

Because he did go on a bit of a beef pilgrimage -- Yes. -- right, which

is Right. And you were You left I came from saying to solve it.

So you doing vigilante justice against beef crimes? Yeah. Okay.

So you so you drop down from, like, a roof if somebody stole some ground sirloin.

Hey, he's watching. Jesusou's watching People don't see you

around Sirloin, dude.

That's pretty

oh, right.

People did everything, Essie.

Of course. Jesus. Of course.

So it's just I think they,

you know, in a way,

jesus left and came back, and his shoes left and came back. Of course. Jesus Yeah. Was crucified, and you went on a beef sabbatical to violently solve beef crimes.

Yes. Jesus Watson also known as dark beef duck.

Now why dumb

why? Where did the dumb dumb come from in here?

I get the dark beef because, you know, it was solving crimes in the dark alley that were about beef. Mhmm.

I think it's a it's he went he took a trip from Kate Criseido to Dark Wing, the cartoon. Crime fighter? I was imagining Batman personally, but I guess, hey, Jesus. You were you were thinking a little more dark wing duck.

Yeah.

Well, you know what? Let's lean into this. Jesus, what kind of finance and you got down there.

Oh, great financing. Yeah. No money down. Zero APR. Nineteen eighty three Suzuki Coltis, seventy nine ninety five.

Nice. Why? Nineteen? Why is nineteen eighty three the funny is here for cars? It just is. I don't know why, but it

just did. Nineteen eighty three Suzuki mighty boy. That's like eighty nine seventy five.

Now explain to me what a Suzuki mighty boy is. Is that like a little jeep?

I can show you better than I could tell you. Oh, wait. It's a pocket. It's a tiny Jeep. It's a two seater. It's a two suit. It's gotta build it's gotta build like a do you remember the little play school cars that every child has? It's kinda built like that.

Like a power wheel.

Yes. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

Everyone use your computer. Google's Suzuki mighty boy.

Hey, Zeus. I guess I guess this could be a what do you know about Jesus' resurrection? I'm I'm assuming since your name is Jesus resurrection, There were jokes, you know Yeah. It's had to come out before

oh, yes, vodka. Yes. There was plenty.

That was

that's a plenty of jokes. About my name, vodka. Yeah. Jonathan. I've my family my family comes from Alisco Mexico, the home. Alisco is Mexico. That's the the state slogan. Alisco is Mexico.

Oh, really?

Yes. And that's where tequila is from. It's not real tequila unless it comes from Jalisco.

Is that true?

That is true. That is just as true as the great deal on my nineteen eighty three TMC costume.

What was that last one?

I think we might have to reschedule this, Moish. No.

No. I think we could get much like Jesus, I think we can use the whole buffalo as Jesus said and, you know, we've got Jesus on here and the whole point of this podcast is to bring the story of Jesus to everyone and and show that it is as modern as any. So his resurrection -- Mhmm. -- a car salesman who left his family to solve beef crimes, dress like a caped Nickelode, or no, Disney channel original TV show comic. That has Jesus in that story because

--

mhmm. -- I'm guessing when you were solving those crimes, you were lonely, you were looking for the love of somebody of God. Right? That that that last vigilante lifestyle. What was that like?

I'll just tell you this. I wanted to my main goal was to reunite people with their stolen beef.

Okay. I'm trying so hard to make this about Jesus Asus.

I I understand. I just have a couple more things to say. Wait.

So So you wanted people to have their beep. What is the trauma of your life that you are expressing? Did you have beef stolen from you?

I had. And I I wanted to find it, and the police, they did not care that I had beef stolen from me. They did not care. I will tell you about your Jesus. I'll tell you. Okay? Are you ready, Vogger?

Alright. Yes. Absolutely.

Tell me get everybody give me one big Vatto essay.

I don't know.

Yes. The way we confirm is we say Vanto essay.

If you're ready to hear about the resurrection, Give me one big bottle. Let's say.

I mean, I'm ready to hear about the resurrection, culturally.

I can't hear you. Yes, man. Right. No. No.

Well, I'll say, you know, I'll say as long as it's not appropriation for me to say it, you know because I've been accused of that many times before with trying to pull other people's languages and dialects and things like that. But I'll say Vatto essay. I would love to hear if if it will get me the story of the resurrection.

Thank you.

A big Vatto essay from Moisha App Steve. Now Oh, denied.

Now the resurrection, Jesus, He was taken up the cross. He was nailed to the cross, too big nails to How

big do

you think the cross is real quick?

At least seven by nine.

Okay. Two of the numbers we heard in your prices.

Seven by nine or nine by five. One

of the

and he he was taken up the cross, nailed to it, feet bound. Crown of thorns.

Mhmm.

And he was then carried up the hill. Mountiah? I think yes. And then he was

yeah.

That's the one.

Morture knows. And then you've taken don't fall, careful with your back acid.

Keep trying to work

through it.

Keep trying to work through it.

And he three days later, or seven days later. Seven days later,

he was three.

Three days later. Three days later, he he opened up the stone door that they locked him into the cave after they thought he was dead, and he opened it and walked out. And everybody was like, whoa. Right. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.

Okay. And everyone, they

were so confused.

Right. Right.

Must have

been. I

mean, we saw him die not three days ago.

Yes. And then proved he was the son of god.

And he said, I got no problems with you guys. I got no problems with you. What I need to do is I need to find the Romans, but there are a couple towns over.

Mhmm.

So what he did was He came to Resorexion Auto Sales, and he got himself a nineteen eighty three Toyota A E eighty five for the low, low price of seventy nine ninety five.

What was that car? The name sounded like, what dolphin what what was it? Toyota

toyota a e eighty five.

Oh, a e eighty five. Okay. Yes.

Nineteen eighty three.

So, hey, Zeus, you're trying to tell I think you're just trying to sell cars. And you Me?

I think you're trying to sell us a car.

You think that Jesus you're saying that Jesus was resurrected and went straight through the inland empire

--

yes. It came right here to Paris, California. Is that I need to find the car because I need to get my revenge on the Romans.

Well, you know, one thing I will buy from you, Jesus, is that this you know I I think we we discussed before the we're on air the last supper and now I'm realizing why you were so obsessed with why there was no beef in that picture

the Romans the Romans are the original beef thieves.

Really? What would you have done? If you were alive back then and the Romans stole your beef.

I would put on my cape.

That was a great question, Queen.

Thank you.

You know, it's sort of about Jesus, but it's also looping in Jesus is one of his most important

things. What what can I

can I ask you something,

outsiders? Please. So you said you're gonna boil up some eggs in an oil pan from an old car. Yes. Are you gonna do any other things for Easter this weekend at your car dealership that are gonna be Easter themed?

We will be playing a lot of bad bunny.

Oh, okay.

Close. Close.

I used to know.

Bad bunny was kind of Easter theme.

Easter themed Is that true?

Is that true about bad money?

He has an an Easter themed album. Instead of instead of the song, Mia, Mia, he goes -- Mhmm.

--

easter, I'm talking about Really? Jesus. Oh, awesome.

That's So that's coming out. Very soon. That that'll be cool when that drops.

So we'll

be playing that album on repeat all day, boiling eggs in the radiator pan. Come on down. The Paris, California resurrected all those sales.

And I heard you were So you're gonna are you you're gonna be playing that bad bunny song. You're gonna be boiling the eggs. Mhmm. And are you gonna have any type of egg hunt?

Yes. We will be hiding eggs in all of the cars. You could find eggs.

Oh, no.

And in nineteen eighty three, Zuzu Asuka, seventy nine ninety five. A nineteen eighty three Jeep Cherokee x j just named ninety nine ninety five. A nineteen eighty three is my routine eight hundred.

Where are you getting all of these eighty three cars? It feels like someone started a dealership in nineteen eighty three and has been trying to sell the same car for twenty, thirty years.

Exactly is.

So, Jesus, you started a dealership in nineteen eighty three that had no loyalty to any certain car brand, just had every car no matter what's important.

They had

a loyalty to the year old

it was was it a nineteen eighty three dealership car dealership?

At the time, yes, we were the hottest dealership in Paris, California. Okay.

And it was specifically for nineteen eighty three. So it was a one year only car dealership.

But we did so well. That we got so many more cars from all the dealerships. Lindsay. Lindsay?

Yes. Yes.

And I

interest you in something.

Absolutely. What is

well, you were looking for a car, Lindsey. Right? You were needing something to carry the kids around, maybe a a twenty twenty one Dodge caravan. Is that what you needed?

Yeah. My van, the the windshield got hit by a bunch of golf balls. So I'm looking for something something fresh.

How about yeah. Do you have

can I interest you in a nineteen eighty three Ford Temple, just forty nine ninety five? You can't beat that. No money down. No. That is very

that is very cheap. Small old crappy cars. I want new minivan. That's cool what I'm looking four.

Oh, what about in nineteen eighty three Ultima MK one? Nope.

Nope. Nope. You lost me at nineteen eighty three.

How about this, Jesus, I would actually love, before I go off to prison, maybe to buy something cool It's got a low zero to sixty, you know, something really awesome. Maybe like a twenty twenty one Jaguar, f type, Do you have anything like that? Twenty twenty one Jaguar f type?

I've got exactly what you're looking for.

Awesome. What is it?

I've got a nineteen eighty three Mitsubishi cherry twelve miles to the gallon. Just ninety nine dollars down.

No. He said, be she chariot. Yes.

Ninety nine dollars down. Ninety nine dollars a month.

Oh, so now we can do monthly

for how long? You you can see a price.

Three Don't say ninety nine months.

Ninety nine dollars down. Ninety nine a month for ninety nine months.

Damn it, eighty six.

I don't know the quality of the car, but that ain't a bad deal.

Jesus.

A lot of money.

Can I ask you a question, please? Are you familiar with where Jesus went right after he? Escape the tomb. Do you know

yes. I just told you. He walked out. He looked at he looked at everyone. He said, I got no beef with you guys.

Right. Right. But he went and looked for the disciples. You know that. Right?

Yes. He looked he looked for the disciples because they were

all the story of that, what he did to Thomas when he found Thomas, the one disciple?

So he had a disciple named Thomas. They called him the tank engine because he was big, powerful like a locomotive.

Alright.

Thomas, I'm gonna need some muscle. I'm looking for the Romans.

Why was he looking for the Romans?

To get to exact revenge.

Oh, for getting the beef off the last supper table.

Yes. And for for beating him to death.

Right. So so him, Thomas, the tank engine, the the most swole disciple

--

mhmm. -- go looking for the Romans? Did they go with anyone else?

Yes. The other disciples.

Okay. So Paul

paul, Peter. Don, Isaiah.

Yes. Uh-huh. Yeah. Judus?

Not Judas. He's bad. He's the one He was the intel that gave the Romans the beef. Right.

So he was probably with He's probably the one who got the beef off the table. Yes.

Hey, Jesus. Nobody has ever stolen beef from me or anybody in my life.

Consill yourself lucky. Yes.

Well, I gotta say having Jesus here has been quite enlightening because you don't always talk to, you know, a theologian or a a preacher, someone who does has devoted their whole life to this, but we can tell Jesus that the spirit of the Lord runs through you, you know, and you've been a great sport here.

Yes. Are you saved Jesus?

Yes. Saved by the band.

You And how about this? Wait. Wait. What?

Saved by the horn. Saved by the horn. Saved by the horn.

Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and savior?

I am Catholic.

Okay. What does that mean?

That means, yes. Alright.

Okay.

Lindsey, I hear you're looking for a band.

Yes. Absolutely. I'm glad you heard.

Can I interest you? In a nineteen eighty three Toyota Durago. Ninety nine dollars down, ninety nine dollars a month. A ninety nine month low APR. That's Only twenty six percent. Long.

Ninety nine months

it's about

ten years.

It's about ten years. It's not your

but it's low.

You know, here, how about this? How about this? Hey, Zeus. I'll buy a car from you.

Okay? I'll buy

a car from you because I feel like I feel like you're not you're just you're not

gonna But you are famously bankrupt.

Well, I know. But these prices are great. Ninety nine bucks a month, I could scrape it together. Okay? So listen. How I'll buy

a car from

you. Typically, I like okay. Wait.

Now what were you gonna say?

I was gonna say my last car was a nice Ford f one fifty that ran ran really well for a couple years, but then I had to give it up you know, because the payments got a little steep, and things weren't going so great.

You went bankrupt.

Yeah. The payments

you get steep.

You ran out of all money.

You filed chapter eleven. Yeah.

And so let's just say I haven't been able to get a car loan, and I won't be able to for the remainder of

the next five years. Yeah. Alright. Alright.

You seem like a mighty boy type of man. Oh my god. How about

was it a Suzuki mighty boy?

How about a nineteen eighty three Suzuki mighty boy?

Let me look it up. Let me look it up.

Look it up. Now I I also heard, Jesus, You not only have the Suzuki mighty boy, but you have a car that looks like that one car from your childhood that's orange on the bottom and the top is yellow and you push around with your feet?

Yes. That's the mighty boy. Google it. Boy. Look it up. Nineteen eighty three is a bookie maddy boy.

Well, hey. If you're selling a couple of those, I might have to come down. For the Easter sale here.

It's just like it's it's almost like it's almost like the Suzuki people were like, hey, this car is embarrassed. We need to give it a big name, so it's not so humiliated. Why don't we call it the mighty boy?

Yeah. The mighty boy is what we were all called butch when he walked out of bankruptcy court to make him feel a little better about himself. Okay.

Sounds like it is the perfect car for you, me and me go.

Alright. You know what? Screw it. It's a new it's a it's a new dawn. It's a new day. We'll we'll start

why don't you run Butch's credit real quick

and see if we can get in Hang on. Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

Hang on. Put give

your social. Push give Jesus resurrect

see on your social and let it run your credit real quick.

I got the bleeps ready right here. Go ahead. I got the bleeps ready.

Good real. Okay.

Alright. Just running. Just running. My Intelis socialist.

It's three three four

--

wait.

--

seven two

--

mhmm. -- ninety eight twenty one.

Uh-huh. Okay. Please Give me give me just a couple You

guys missed it.

It says, cannot be run. Does not have enough points, despair.

Disparent. Oh, no.

Hold on. It also it says the police are on their way? Yes. Hold on.

Hold on.

It's Put

in a fake name in there or something. Say

retrap back. We can't have brick and arrested.

Say fake.

Unrun it. Fake. I'm running. Okay.

Let me unrun it.

Run the unrun.

Unrun it.

Okay.

Unrun that.

Unrun it. It's unrun. Speaking of unrun, what do you have? Can I interest you in a nineteen eighty three Ford O' Ryan? Ninety nine dollars down, nineteen dollars a month, seventy nine ninety five.

Okay. When you say lunch, nine years

speaking of unrun, does that mean that this car doesn't run? What

it's not run since nineteen eighty three. Orion. Orion.

Do any of your cars run?

Oh,

yeah. It has that.

Yes. They run. Which ones on the lot run?

The nineteen ninety three nineteen eighty three Chevy

--

oh. -- s ten blazer.

Okay.

Sir, are you butch Davidson? Not bad. You butch Davidson, sir?

Oh my god.

Yes, sir. You is your you butch David did you just try to run your credit for a Suzuki mighty point?

Hands up. Hands where we can see them.

Hands where

we can see them. Hands where we

can see them.

Put them up.

Put them up.

Put them up.

Put them up.

There's nothing no.

Ow. Dance. Oh, what's I was supposed to shoot at your feet. He's shot

me in

the shoulder. How's that? Your credit's Your credit's so bad we have to kill you, sir.

Oh, shoot. We

grabbed our kids bebe guns. This is gonna take a while.

Okay. Just stop. Stop shooting me. Stop shooting me for Okay. Stop shooting

me for free.

You did say it. Legally, you get one sentence. Okay.

Wait. What's my crime?

And you that's your sentence, sir. You're under arrest.

No. No. No. No. Please. Please. Him.

No. No. Don't show me a handcuffs, guys.

Please

your Prime is trying to run your awful credit for a mighty boy. Okay? Well, we've been trying to break it down Oh my god. Look at this closet. It's stuffed with beef.

Oh, this is the most beef I've ever seen, and this looks stolen.

No. No.

No. No. It was boots the whole time. It was boots.

This is all my beef.

I bought all this beef. But I got all this beef from Reemus beef. Jesus beef. I bought it all.

Real disappointment, butch.

I guess I have

paid suits. Did you have any idea?

I had no idea. The butch

was a beefy thief.

This breaks my case. I had no I had no idea. Wow.

Jesus, he's got his cape on. He's got his cape on.

Up above his nose.

It's Hazers Watson.

Don't Hazers Watson.

Dark be dead.

Dark be

stunned. No. I guess Bring him into custody.

Bring him into custody, dark beef.

He's trying to start up a car over there. What car he's trying to start.

This is

the nineteen eighty three, Jesus Otsuka. I'll see you

on a four day. Break it up.

It's

there's a bunch of eggs in the oil pan.

It's too cold here in Paris, California. It's seventy one it's seventy one.

It's too cold to start the car? Seventy one is too cold.

The beef beef is gonna get away.

I'll see you in four days. Dog beef.

Well, folks. I we're we're gonna have to take this one quickly. That was the the life, the birth, the death, and the resurrection of Jesus Christ. Hey, Zeus razor Rexion, a k a. Hey, Zeus Watson, a k a, dark beef duck is on his way to arrest our friend, butch Davidson beef the full of beef

wow. I cannot believe two of us are gonna go to prison. Are you sure you? Lindsey, Moish. Are you going to prison too?

I'd I'd know if this was gonna come up, but, yes, I have been sentenced to fifteen to life. And

i also did not want

to ruin the energy, but, yes, I to you know. The other day and killed a man and I am going down for a long time.

No. All of us. Well, I hope we go to the same prison.

Oh, please put us at the same prison.

Dog beef then?

Dark beef.

That beep is still turning and trying to get that engine to turn on.

It's too cold on here. I just had to put a blanket over the car.

It's only seventy one.

It's only seventy one degrees free. He's got a snuggie. He's putting a snuggie over the car.

And as the sun is going down, it's it's dropping at sixty nine now.

Oh, beef duck.

Well, thank you faces for being here, and we are so glad that everyone could join us much like Jesus Christ. We will be resurrected when we break out of prison.

Speaking of sixty nine, can I interest you in a nineteen eighty three Hyundai stellar? Sixty nine dollars damn sixty nine a month for sixty nine months. Sixty nine ninety five. Bow. Dog, beef, dad.

Mass is out, and the call fees on. I

got a couple see is on my chest that I got to

get it on.

We're missing grace.

And call me a cup of that, Joe.

Welcome to the Preaches and maybe let's