The Goth Ness Monster with Mildred Upingsbottom (Kirby Howell-Baptiste)

and the car keys teaches. Let's show.

Boy, you guys had that sloppy

Joe. Yes. Oh, it was. Yes, man.

It's good. It's good. It's good going down

now. I mean, I love I love a sandwich. This bill's over the edges, but is

it too sloppy? I was wondering the same thing more sloppy than dro agree. I want the Joe is the part that I'm here for.

There's no Joe. Yeah, in a softie, Joe,

What is the Joe like? If you're gonna like in a standard sloppy Joe, what's the job

tell you? It's pork and a cup of coffee in between two pieces of bread with barbecue sauce.

It's slap. You think a sloppy Joe is pork?

You always

drink a sloppy Joe. Every morning I

start my morning off with a sloppy drunk.

What are we talking

about? We're talking about the sandwich. I

don't know what you guys. I'm telling you what I order every time I go into a Starbucks,

Okay? We're talking about something. We're talking about this sloppy Joe school. It's

like a barbecue. Shame with barbecue. The Adam Sandler. Okay, Sure. Yeah. Is that what you call it? Yeah. Okay, sloppy Joes. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Your point is still a sloppy Joe.

You know it as a sloppy Joe, but you choose not to call. I don't know if I believe

that everybody else knows, as it's because you difficult.

I like him extra sloppy.

Well, I mean, like, Well, then you'll love this one because it is. It's a hamburger bun completely

bare with a circle via of pork, Right? Went pork around late,

almost like a halo. Nothing's

on the actual. It looks like it looks like somebody missed it Looks like they were making the meal and miss,

that's what I don't like. I wanted to be sloppy sandwich. I want the bread to get a little bit. The

bride love dry. I

love it when the bread is just completely dissolved. It just kind of all turns into more of a stew. Well, still, I mean, we're still submitting jokes to the blue collar comedy tour. I don't know if you guys are I'm still fax An incident about the back and warriors is the never tour? Yes, back more racist than ever. Ah, and we should Honestly, I think this is a good premise. Like eyes. Anybody want to meet Joe? How about a neat job? You know what that need, Joe? Is that What's that? Like a a porta sliced pork loin.

But whose room is that? For which of the four guys? Because when I'm sending in my jokes, I'm sending in. This is a fox work,

right? A white. This is in England.

Yeah, well, this is a white is a joke And who it's for? Yes, but yeah, well, right. Well, Ron, Ron came

out, uh, when he was testing shows last week and he said whites only Andi was referring to himself.

He's been doing a lot of show. Nobody for himself. Yeah. Uh, I what I like

about current sandwich culture, uh, is how hard they are to eat all the time.

God, I love it.

Make it big and hard to eat.

I like I to like it when they put condiments on the top and the bottom So all of the material is lubricated, so you take a bite. It just slipped.

The last thing I want with the sandwiches. Easy portability.

Yeah. I hate when I eat a sandwich and something doesn't end up right on my zipper?

Absolutely. Because that's, you know, at the end of the day, that's what I want people to focus. My favorite thing

about havoc on a on a sandwich is that as soon as you bite into it, it shoots out the other shoots right out the

other game And the harder the bread, the better. Yeah, the better I, like, make the bread harder at the sandwich shops I love are going to turn it over I wouldn't even say hard. I wanted

to be, like, chewy and like, sort of like you have to let it. It's almost like raw meat. You have to, like, pull it

way love rustic sandwiches, way Lovett. A dusty, rustic, dusty rest IQ. You know what I love farm to table? Yeah. You ever eat farm

to table straight from the farm, right to the table. Mostly dirty.

Yeah. Yeah, I love that. I mean, if I could

eat avocado on two slices of concrete, I do, and I do it.

I'll need an avocado like an apple.

Oh, hang on, guys.

Fuck. I know what you're about to

say. Yeah, how about this? Why do we do what? How about from now, we've been recording this whole time we've been recording this whole time Our This sucks. What? What if from now on in the future, we walk in and just assume we're on. We're the moment we're in the door. We assume were on? Yes. And we go from there from now on. Okay, kid. I mean, it's up to you.

You're the only one that knows that. Record the equipment.

Okay. I'm sorry, guys, but we are recording. Okay, Well, let's hit it. All right. Well, everyone welcome Thio. Another episode of the Teacher's Lounge. The first, best and only podcast relevant to the swine high school students and community. I am, of course, Howard Levis, the head of Academics Administration. Here. It's wine high school. Uh, ready for another good? A good day of shooting the gap. Yes,

right. We've been shooting Gabba round these parts for a long time, and we're gonna do it again when we

have ah NIU aa sponsor this week.

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botching coz. And, uh, um, I just introduced myself. Todd Padre, head of the Theater and Arts program and star of the nuclear upcoming school, play my conversations with the Devil.

Wow! Wow, the Star, the uh, I like we've seen this before. Top This is this might have happened before. Where you

sort of usurping the power of the play is exactly what you were fired for the first

six. It seems like you would have learned from your mistake, but I don't think you've learned nothing. Have you know we're gonna let you rule? What we won't. We won't. Todd,

this is different. I've learned a lot. I am no longer directing the production. The students are directing it, right? I'm starring is the devil. My ex wife is starring as me on. We're having full conversations on stage and the students are directing, so I'm giving them a little bit of creative control. You know how hard it is for me to give up power. So

you wrote

and are acting in it. And by directing now, what kind of notes are they giving him? What kind of notes you're taking?

Um, that's a good question. And the first half of the second half are directly in Congress with each other. I would say a lot of the notes or get their giving is Ah, too big, too loud. Um uh,

that let let your wife speed.

Yeah, this isn't a, um uh, improv show. Stop at living so much. Stick to the script.

Think they know what they're talking

about? Yeah, but the notes I'm taking, um uh, you know, I kind of let the notes land, and then I argue them, and then we see where we end up,

right? So you say you're not really

saying yes to them and changing, but they're in there somewhere. That thesis,

I think when

someone tells you how they're receiving you, the first thing you should do is disagree with them and explain why they're wrong. That defend yourself, defend yourself. Um, and so and I'm learning a lot about this process.

And so these conversations that you're having as the devil, huh? To you. Right. Um, what are they? What? What is the devil say to you?

We touch on everything, you know? We touch on politics. Religion. Ah, lot of it is me. My character played by my ex wife, finding that the devil is inside all of us on. And that's kind of what I'm explaining is the devil is that my character ends up relating a lot with the devil.

So you took a took a sort of, you know, classic approach, Thio, you know, your moral. You could say it's ah, well trod territory of Amazing that

something like this. I have never seen anything like this. I've never seen anything like this. Um, uh, and Act two is mostly about foods with devil in the name and that zealous food cake. Yes. Devil's eggs. Yeah, that's a good woman.

So that was you Hadn't gotten to that one, you

know? What did you have? Devil's food, cake, and then some of those funny hot sauces. Slap your mama, Mama Sleipner Moment the devil.

Now I heard,

um, your your wife who's playing you? Your extracts. All right, Uh, is having You are in the play written to be such a hero, right? Um, such a conquering force, A conquering force with no flaws. And says that

in the character description very toned physique she's made to work out a lot for the production.

Yeah, she's getting into very good shit for this production. What? The character description

over oiled up. She looks kind of like a body builder.

Yeah. I mean, the character description is basically pumping iron era Schwarzenegger. Um and so she's playing it that way. And, you know, the character is flawless and kind of what he learns in his conversations with the devil is that the devil is, um he sees a lot of his ex wife in the devil is they're talking because I relate to you a lot. Devil. You remind me of my ex wife. Is it? This is a really hit on

her. Yeah. This'd is good programming for for the kids. I think you're gonna

learn a lot. Uh, everything I learned about relationships. I think kids are smarter than we give him credit.

I don't agree with that. 100%

of the Pixar model. You've got to treat him smarter than they are, and they sort of get

They'll meet you at the top. Absolutely. I mean, cars too. Classic. Classic. You are riding a car's thio.

Yeah. Cars t oo Castillo cars to on. It's mostly about how it sort of turning the whole cars thing on its head and saying that, like, cars were sort of talking to the people now and saying, Hey, us two. Uh, yeah. I mean, hey, there's not a lot helping us out. We're more sort of just here for you to drive around in. And, you know, you're kind of working us pretty hard. It's what there's I say. So,

yeah, it's 1/2

baked idea so far, but I think that if I just keep pushing, all the good writers say that if you have a good title, you have a good movie. You know, I feel like I have a good title. It's been proven to work, and I did a little goofy change to it, so it should work for me as well.

And that dovetails nicely with sort of the situation. You're sort of working through personally right now where you've got some mechanical beings who are sort of, ah

well, in more ways than one. As you know, I've heard a lot of cars in my day. I've crashed over 200 cars in my, um, driving career, some of them limos. Which Countess too? So, you know, I haven't even hired them s

so I really am. I'm kind of trying

to repent for that via the script. And what was the thing you

said? Just your your little dealing with you knew their little robots. So of course you're the little boy cowboys. They're

robots that are roaming the school. That an attempt for you to keep eyes on students for misbehaving?

Yeah. I mean,

it's that sounds more punitive than I think it is. It's more just to sort of, like, be the eyes and ears around campus, You know what I mean? Because

we ended

with you in shambles last week when one of your little boy cowboy sons passed away. But I like you as a dad. Yeah. I mean, you know what they say. Fatherhood humbles a man on. That is

true. I have never been so confused and so raw, you know, just open the door. I think when your heart grows, it grows in both directions. And the love came in, but so did the pain. You know what I mean? Yeah. And it was really hard to see little Donny go. Uh huh. But I've got seven other little babies that I'm

excited to keep raising. And these air all robots that you formed an emotional bond with

Yes, these robots that were built that I'm raising is my Children. I like you said I I just feel more now, and

it feels great. To be clear, we didn't

really clarify last week. These these cowboy robots who walk around the school, they do go home with you at the end of edible cowboys. Yeah.

Little cowboys. Yeah, they're my little sons. And, uh, yeah, they pile in the back of the van, and we all had home together, and, um, you know, it's never my driving's never been better. I've never been more careful. Precious cargo. Exactly.

Now, exactly. You know when you're when you're in high school and middle school, Sometimes they do this thing where they make you carry an egg around for a week and teach you how hard it is to have a baby. I did that. I broke seven banks that week. You've lost a couple sons already. Made

a scramble. Yeah. I mean, to be fair, you know, you made an omelet, You know, you you saved him on

Major scramble. Well, you gotto No. Yeah, I pretended to break the eggs, but I actually saved them all. Stuck in the old scramble.

Well, it's It's tough to be the good scramble, Todd, So I don't blame you there.

But you have actually had Ah, the experience in the last couple few days. Really? Of kind of Ah, you know, losing a couple more of your

Yeah, I lost more than an egg. I'll

say that I lost a human robot egg, and, um, he didn't just crack. He well, he disintegrated. Yeah. Wow,

this is

crazy that you started out in an attempt to keep eyes on this. My making very lifelike robots. And

and do we know

if the students see these? Little boy can always get in your van at the end of the day. Is the charade off? And these are your sons. Are you out?

I've got to be honest. This definitely started as a security thing around campus to keep the campus safe, and I think it still is. But my mind is definitely wandered a little bit. I'm or into the fatherhood aspect now than I call security. But I'm confident that my son's air ruling with with a strong cowboy pressing

and they weren't

the only they weren't the only line of defense. You know that

We still got the USA.

We got the drone. The mode is being finished.

I heard that a plot was thwarted this week.

Yeah, and a plot was also dug for my little son.

Oh, my God. So some type of plot? Yeah, was thwarted. Yeah, I heard that there was, ah, group of four gods who were trying Thio sneak in way

closed down the hot topic near but near the school. But it just gave them into God's needed somewhere else to hang. And so they've been They've been coming back to the school in droves Now,

Yeah, we gotta get to the nest.

They're just gonna pop up unless we wait. I don't know that they don't know where it is.

It's Morrissey's house down the street.

We've got to get to Morrissey and kill him. Well, here's the thing. I like yourself already saying will tell you this. I read. I

read a news article the other day about you and I got weapon. It's called the Net. The Nest Buster. It's a guy that's busting missile that you fire You fired into a nest of god. Uh, mother of all.

Oh, I've heard about the way. Also call this the golf ness monster. The garden is monster monster I've heard about that. I think we could probably. Well, no, no, it's not. Others are bad luck. Bill. You are. You are really getting excited lately. You sometimes can't sit down in your chair. I can't. I'm up. I'm up. I'm up. I

I'm talking to the microbes hanging from the ceiling. I'm talking into

what's going on. You know you are. The room here at the microphone dropped down from the sailing. Right. You're getting very

into the sort of the sports thing at the school and you're getting very excited.

You become a big sports promoter. More so than focusing on the quality of the athletic department

promoting. I've pretty much

given up on being a hands on coach. And I've learned that I actually like the crowd. The energy creating, creating an atmosphere P p v. Yeah, pay per view. You Actually, I her I saw on the football schedule you cancelled the football season and have replaced all of our opponents with NFL

teams. That is exactly right. So we've got New England

Patriots coming in next week to play our high school football team. Yes,

well, I've miss

build it. I'm gonna be I'm gonna be honest right now. It is some New England patriots.

It iss okay, it is. Are they? The New England wages now line

up of 20 or so people from the northeastern United States who love America. Exactly.

And the following week, when the Green Bay Packers air coming in, that's the

rate up. Industrial cheese, packers. They pack cheese

there back there, back of house at a warehouse in the back of house cheese packers

eyes their front of a house at at a warehouse. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You got

a receiver? Okay. You gotta lift. I didn't Yeah, I didn't think about drug backer Upper. You're? Yes. Started a little bit, but I am getting a lot of hype for these events.

I'm a little concerned for the Miami Viking or the Minnesota Vikings game. Coming up?

Yes. And the Miami Vikings game that's coming.

Oh, yeah? Well, you found Vikings from two cities in the country.

Yes. These are Viking still exist very much still around. Very,

uh, more so than ever. Someone,

whenever they are coming back there, come back. And I'm talking about the classic

when you're thinking of I'm talking about horned helmets. I'm talking about big beard, big radio beards, big beard braids, immigrated, beards. They're huge, and they're coming to the school. And I have I got a representative Showtime coming.

worried about these Vikings. I mean, wouldn't have appeared on top on top alert that we go to school, you know, pugnacious. You

I'm a little

could call him. I just don't get those Vikings listening to the Smiths or anything like that. If we have a bunch of Goths Vikings running around campus

Oh, my God. We got to keep them away from anything. Anything. What's the word I'm looking for M Oh, yes.

Yeah. I mean, emotions

can really kill a person

you told May.

Thank God you know

what I'm talking about.

You like Todd, you and I

sort of bond on this.

We're We could be some sad guys that

if we try to access our emotions, things get bad.

Does anybody else feel any time

they think about their life seriously for more than a minute, they want to kill themselves.

Yeah, I've had

that feeling. I have had it

Any time I think about life, All I want is death.

Yeah, yeah, Yeah, I'm so I just

I'm so worried that whatever little power I have is gonna get ripped from my fingers at any time that that I'll have nothing else and have nowhere to go because nobody loves me. I've crashed into almost everybody, has never left.

Yeah. Yeah. You've run over a lot of lovers. Things were going good. I mean, like, you don't think

about the future at all. Things are going good.

Yeah, well, for you guys. Sorry. Sorry. Our are you guys. Things are going good

And and you know what? Things could be worse for me, right? Let's be honest. There's There's

things, their things.

plenty of others you don't know about that. There's plenty of time. Bad.

I think you've hit bottom. You'll have to prove it.

Prove it. I get worse. Get worse for us. Look, I'm just

saying I think a lot of people have had their personal information and all of their sort of life's flaws exposed on wiki leaks. I'm not the first person. Last week was humiliating for you. And this week, uh, who I thought was my good friend Julian. It's humiliating. Uh, went ahead and just posted all of my personal information. Leaked photos make what? A snake.

Julian Assange is a snake. And I'm gonna be the 1st 1 to

say, Yeah, that's a That's a hot take because we thought it was a good guy. We'll have a great car. Yeah. You know, I'm not

hiding in another country. We're releasing other people's information to benefit his only.

Oh, what a good guy

with a hair out first is what we thought at first.

Yeah, and then, you know, he ran. He picked up and ran with this story, which is just turning into a way bigger of a thing that had ever should have been S O a sand is responsible for your fat burning last week. His own ego is not responsible for the happening. He, uh he's responsible for broadening the scope of the leak. Wiki leaks is one of the most popular websites on the Internet right now. And everybody in the world now has seen photos of, uh well, my all my dirty laundry.

Yeah, well, and then broadened out. We saw your filthy car. Yeah,

you know, here's the thing, guys. You were just had

your balls out here. zipper in front of your dirty car, and we looked right past your balls

because you have a

nice balls. Also, nice car was failed. Say humiliating.

It's the car who washes

their car every week. That's crazy, right? I live. I live in a in a dusty neighborhood. You guys know that we

live in the dust bowl

in a dust bowl, Okay, It doesn't make sense for

me to wash my car for me because it's gonna get dirty again. And I

honestly, I wish

people would focus on the lewd, delude nature of these

photos is sick and tired

of the the bullshit in my life being the thing that gets put

on the bull, literally

the bullshit. A lot of people bird shit on their cars. Your car's covered in bullshit.

Well, you park under a bullpen. I don't park under it, but But the property surrounding my house is a cow farm.

I used to park under a bullpen and those guys would spit all over

my car. You'll get something.

So yes, sometimes. Sometimes I parked my

car car underneath the little bridge that they were created to go from one side of the cow pasture to the other across my property. Your car underneath a bridge that Cal's walkover. Yes, that's your own fault.

No, I need shelter. You know what? If a tree falls, What if What if? Ah,

you know, airplane falls out of the sky and lands on my car, like in breaking bad.

I don't know if the Cow Bridge is going to stop that.

Well, it's It's all I can do. Okay? That car

means a lot to me. That's what

the whole Anthony Kita song is about. He thought he could hide under a bridge from getting hit by planes and stuff.

Yeah, under the bridge. Downtown is where I parked my car. I don't want the cat s solo stew. She ate on my car. What if a plane falls down and it hits my car? It's It's the lyrics are right there. It's not an unusual perspective. In fact, that label changed

him last minute. The labels changed. Um,

well, I go off

of the originals. All right. Most of the my philosophies in life are based off of Red Hot Chili Peppers Song.

Well, you've been given it away for a while.

I have everything I have, I

give away. That's true

that now you learn that

a lucid dream. So you could dream of Californication?

Yeah. What show? I learned how to lose a dream. You dream of that show? Yeah. Yeah, It's a great show.

It depicts a character who I wish I could be. Uh, you're thinking further from no man.

What's that supposed to mean, Bill? Uh, let's say you don't think I could be a sexy, sex addicted man.

No, You hate sex. Now, you look terrible.

So it wouldn't make sense for me to idolize Appearance of the Virgin. Okay, I am not a virgin. That's harsh, but I'm not a

virgin. While I have most of the stereotypical characteristics of a virgin, I am not a virgin.

You're ugly,

not get. I'm ugly. I have a small Penis and I'm scared of women. Okay? But I have had okay, I am telling you now

I choose Birgit. You know what? Hey, if there's anybody out there who could virgin, okay, if there's anybody out there who

can leak a picture of me having sex with my ex girlfriend, that'd be

awesome. Good luck. Good luck. That sounds like a fucking challenge is for your own league. Somebody leaked something. I dare someone to leak a picture of Howard where he's doing anything cool. I dare you claim in front of something. Clear. Good luck. No. Come on, guys. That's you know honestly, sometimes photo I've ever seen you is utterly humiliating. Come on. What about my yearbook photo from from Hey, Mr Photo

Guy. By the way,

why is he capturing

you in the worst lights?

Like somebody follows you around and says Only take a photo when he's at his lowest

moment. Well, I used to.

Somebody's taking a slice of life. Photos are always bad

powered. I'll say

this. You're my best friend. Thank you. And your life is very sad.

Okay, It's sad from an outside perspective. Okay. From an inside perspective, I'm doing fine. I mean, I honestly like what? Who doesn't

just go home at the end of the day, read a book, sit on a small chair, uh, on and wait for sleep to come

like that's that Feels to me like a classic example

of a well adjusted happy

human being, I think is

that and I think you're also being You're being a little kind to the size of that chair.

What do you mean, there's not? It's tiny like your house, Which fits? Yeah, and that's that. How is that sad? I don't understand. Like, what do you guys

do it Not you don't go home. Uh, root around in your fridge for a crumble of food.

You literally root around with your nose of your friends because the troubles of food in my fridge or start tiny I have two. Only I could only find them by scent. All right, listen, guys, I'm happy, okay? I don't know how more unequivocally I could say I'm happy or not. No, I buy it. I buy it. Believe what

people tell you. They are not what they show you. Yes, that's how I live my life. You say you're happy you're happy. I say I'm a guy that that women should want to marry and not be mad at him all the time. And that's who I

am. Exactly. Can we all take each other

at face value without diving deep into our psyches?

Got to be better to each other.

I mean, universal. We are

in charge of this school. And if we expect to stay on top here, which we currently are, we got a band together. We can see each other down

that number one charter school in the country at U S. News and World Report.

Yes, that's true. Uh, it's really it really came out of nowhere. We were not expecting. I mean, a reporter knocked on the school door this morning.

He says I love the genes. I love the school. I love the

light. And it seems like

that the article was written from a more like, holistic point of view. Was like, Maybe this school isn't the best in one specific area, But the sort of broad context of the school is that it's very successful, profitable schools there. Yeah, we started making way, started making money, which is which is really nice, because the Nats model Yeah, and the Netflix model has actually started to take off. Oh, yeah. Our season three of

sensate is killing right now. You're loving it. Yeah. We bought all the crap. Three cameras, sitcoms Ashton Kutcher wanted to make. Um,

Middle America is eating them up before we will produce anything. Cut your has his hands on anything,

Anything. We got our fingers in the real The true crime documentary.

Yes, we're telling we're doing a sequel to you making a murderer that follows Just the the the ugly, fat lawyer who helped the

guy. Oh, yeah, he's like following that cool pervert.

So you know when you

see a guy and you go what I wouldn't give to be alone in a room with this guy? Yeah, you know, he's just got a lot of interesting thoughts and I want to know him so well. Good seats were releasing, Finding the Wimberley sits finally found a home finding the Wimberley, my documentary about the six sets of twins that I was accused of killing, but I think just disappeared. You think just

people are calling this a mock you mentally, but not for the same reason as a going There is a documentary. It's a documentary with a lot of mocking. Yes, well, it's There is a script that vehemently

points away from you. Yeah, I script that everyone's following, right? Yes. Yeah, you could say it's not even a documentary in the slightest because we did write every line. Everybody

found their marks to hit their lines. And then you were I was exactly Well, yeah. In the court of public opinion is the documentary directed and wrote. Yeah, I was exonerated. And so if you think if you finish that movie and still think I killed those six sets of twins 12 people you were watching the wrong movie. Okay, The Wimberley Zehr out there, we're gonna find them. They're in hiding. I'm just like Robert Durst. If you come away from the jinx thinking he's guilty, you watch the wrong fucking

channel. And if that is what

you're getting from and you wanna watch the right movie, there is also another documentary that

clearly paints

loose. It's called loose Pockets. Yes, it was made by the same people that made loose change. Uh, debunking nine eleven's standard.

Don't get me wrong. I like to their first movie thing. Then they come after me and make one accusing me of killing six sets of twins

for the biggest fans. In fact, that's how they found out about the story. You had a meeting?

Greek. Yes. I said, I got to sit down with you guys. I mean, if there's anything people should be doing it is minimal izing the deaths of 3000 people in a terrorist attack. That's a good use of your time. Yep. Ah, and it's a good use of your thought. Uh, and, uh, why do conspiracies theories exist? Because they're true. And they make sense.

They make so much sense, They're so true. Yeah, I hate the word theory. Yeah, I hate the word theory. Yeah,

these air conspiracy, there should be co conspirators conspiracy, science. Let's get the facts or even just conspiracy. Uh, not theories that works for me. But anyway, then they come up with this move. That is a conspiracy theory about me being a cold blooded killer of six sets of twins. Well, yeah, a pair of them died in my theater class when I was trying to break them down so that they could build themselves back seriously mysteriously. Yeah. No.

Did it? Uh, what weren't you accused of running over a pair of Kimberly's and red dresses? Yeah, but it was so hard

to tell there were fire hydrants. I believe that was That's right.

That was the fire hydrant. Human debacle.

Human which they spend too much time talking about in the in the er. It's a bad doctor manner. It's poorly made. And honestly, I have many, many friends in the law community now. Good. So if you ever need anything, don't worry about it. Yeah, Yeah, that's good to know. Yeah, because they know what they know. What will happen if they keep pressing you. They'll have thio. So sue me. Yeah. See you in court. God, we love going to

court. Attention, students, this is Sam. Weatherman, with your morning announcements were now hiring servers in the teachers. Lunchroom pay

is 50 cents below minimum wage, minus tips. Applications for the position are available

in the teacher's spy area. Do not disturb.

Well, you know, guys. Ah, like always, we have a guest on the show. Uh, this week, we're really excited. Ah, to get another peek behind the curtain of how this school works. She is honestly, one of the hardest working ladies here at this school. And she's I'll tell you this the best. I would call her a lunch lady. She would call you call herself a dinner lady. On that is Ms Mildred up ings bottom. Mildred, Welcome to the show. How

are you? So you were

doing real good. We're

doing. I just I wanted to make sure everyone is everyone in a good mood. I have some. I have some news. I have to tell you guys

never heard news set up that I've heard people say, Like, are you sitting down? But are you in a good mood? I have some news to tell you. I've never heard, but yeah,

I like it. I am. I

am absolutely in a good mood despite what people

saw. Wonderful. Okay, So festival kids are They're just lovely at the kids here. Just wonderful. The kids back home. Awful kids. I'm loving the kids at this chart on. Obviously you has no lunch is the most important meal of the day. Dinner, Dinner, lady. Take a lot of pride in that. There was a problem with the last order. What happened was we tried to the me and the other dinner lady. So it would be nice to surprise you guys. We overheard you talking about what type of meat that you like, so we ordered a lot of sloppy Joes. Problem is, we only ordered the sloppy part. Our car way have any Joe? We just got a lot of slot. So we've got slapped for about four years. Okay?

Four years of sloppy

we buy in bulk. We buy in bulk, just so we can I put it away because of market prices rise

again. You want to get in and freeze it, and we're maximizing profit like you and all the dinner ladies.

That's where we got a big freezer in the first place.

Yes, we got the big freezer in the kitchen. We got the big freezer, actually, Um what? All the other dinner you're saying that we should just transgender Chan's a Zishe in the er the gym, the Germans in the Saar using anyway,

lunch is costing America fortune Lunch for students are costing America. And I honestly appreciate it as the person who sort of in charge of finances. I appreciate you guys like going the extra mile to sort of ensure that you're not, but genuinely need. You've got no Jos.

We got no judges.

Only because this is a thing as well.

I'm not in a good mood anymore, Mildred.

Why? Come on.

Why? Because I I need my drawer with the more.

So what's your plan here? Okay, let me jump on you. Your innovative I am, I

am. I have a whole plan for this. Okay?

Way hired you because you're the famous vlog.

Yes. Three kids like prisoners. That looks so. That was That was what it was like. Like like booming businesses in America right now. And we modeled our school after. It's no secret that I don't mean

in the costume, but I do 100 mean meals, playgrounds and the respect that we do Well, don't give them, of course. So, yes. The thing was is that we have this with four years worth of Joe.

What else do they need?

I mean, their kids, their bodies grow themselves. I say what we should do is we should actually be given them less food. We should cut it now. Have you ever seen the movie Snowpiercer fascinate? Have you seen when they grind up for the Roaches and make jelly bars up? Have you thought about that for the kids? Because I have.

That sounds really good. That sounds really good.

We got grabbed all over

this camp. Yeah, we have U S news and world report Number one obvious campus in the nation s Oh, yeah, We

want a lot of

awards. Did S O. And you would make him into like like

Dae Bak

Jelly bar. And

that way, I think if you

know all your meals are gonna be bad. You never are disappointed again. And the less you have something to look forward to. Bless your expectations are

like that,

investors, and we have to answer to them. Levi's is not gonna be happy if

we're not turning a profit. Uh, 3 to 3 genes. Reminder. Get your jingo genes in any measurement You like Levi's Jingle

Cats. I'll tell you this. Nothing feels out of her gym clothes like a kid That's money in jelly bars all day. Remind

us what a jelly bar reminded just one more time. What a jelly bar is. I feel like we learned what a dinner Lady Waas. And also we need to learn about jelly

jelly. Whereas you take any sore food. You want anything? Preferably something as is high in protein like grubs, mealworms, crickets, Roaches, Grubbs, Grubbs, scrubs, Grubbs, You rob him altogether. Grab grabs, Robbie. You blend them all. That, uh you set them with some sort of, you know, if the kids the kids being one of those whiny vegetarians you set with fruit pectin. But if not, you just go. Good old pork gelatin. Set it all up. Leave it overnight. Bob's. Your uncle is pork gelatin. Is that that's cow hoof, right? Yes. Okay. Yes.

Eyes just like one of those funny

little names. Yeah, where they like we're gonna be cute

about. Yeah, well, the thing is pulled.

Jellison Yes, is careful. It's like, you know when you call, you know, a sandwich is a sandwich of Ruben. You pull the job. It's just so it's like one of those things where it's actually called a John a Reuben Support Jellison,

Rocky Mountain oysters for 40 years before I found out there were bull's testicles, I thought they were just shucking those oysters from the Rocky Mountains. Almost never like oysters. Yeah, there's a little fried discs. I went to a sushi place and lost my mind when I did, when I ordered the oysters on there, and there were nothing like the ones I was used to. So,

uh, are you were trying to

cut some costs in the lunch room. Obviously one of the biggest hits for profits. You've got some other. Are you? You're saving us money?

Yes. It was the year. The Jedi balls that we could napkins completely. Cotton napkins.

How are we for these jelly bars? How are we

sourcing these grubs? These mealworms

question You guys

don't have all the time in the world to

do it. You can't farm of bacon. But you can't farm. Of course not. Well, it farm to table. You guys,

if you read my book treat, treat your Children like prisoners. If you look at you, page 941 I have it clearly set very

close to the beginning of it. It's still the prologue.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, there's

always a lot

to say about it goes the whole history. So you go in there and what that part says is put kids work. You guys almost farm to table talking about hand to mouth, foot and mouth disease. Almost real life.

Almost almost. Almost almost.

So you're putting the kids to work in the launcher?

Yes. Well, what we're gonna do is so lunch is an hour right now, we can't launch down to four minutes, God face when the other 56 minutes prepping, prepping and sourcing their own food.

You appreciate your lunch more if you know where it comes.

100% of her. They learn that

and also think about. They eat quickly.

They think to themselves. Wow. Now I understand.

A lot of nutritionists

say that that mindful eating is the most healthy way to sit down, see and feel every bite. But we know from experience that the best way to keep your metabolism up is to

rapidly as much food as

possible. And then just move

on mindfulness crap. I mean, how long have humans been around now? 50 50 60 years?

50 years? Two years have been around.

Well, no, I mean, like 50 60 years

modern. You modern humans. Two

1000 years since Jesus. But

that was the first human right

way. Really? All right, Well, well, you never know. Conspiracy fat. Well, that's what that's what everyone said the first

time when they were fooled about they said, All right,

ahead. And then three days later, he's popping out to a

lot of people, not too