Wall Skeet with Camper Jacob (Nicole Byer)

and stop recording. See? Pretty easy to say, but I All right, well, I guess I run the show now.

Yeah, really? It went off

without a hitch. That's not so easy.

Yeah, well, thanks so much for being here if you

have to go. No, I think I can. Just day.

Yeah, we just got, like, toe hanging chatter. After the episode, I'm gonna make some popcorn. Does anybody want some popcorn? Kettle or regular spreader? Cheddar bread or popcorn? Here comes Cheddar Podd.

You don't don't just melt loose cheddar.

Ah, block colors. Cheddar on top of popcorn. Again. Blunt. That's what. Would you prefer me dio

to get some little chatter? Dust?

Yeah. And through the best training and tender does is to get a bag of, um, Gino's. I am crunch from up and you

make a chip. You kind of take those chips, crunch him up and put him on her. You know what? I'll do that we do have some cheddar, some some cheat as ever in the world. I had one a year grilled cheeses the other

day because she came to my house and my mother. So was this full grown man doing here? And I just said, I make friends everywhere I go. I'm so tired

of of just because I'm a grown man. Having Teoh having that label is tough.

And he's a grown man. You know what I mean? Like, that's always a down for May like, can you believe he came in here and yelled at the Dairy queen? A grown man, right? We're being discriminated against. Anyone could do anything.

I agree. I agree.

Now you could make first everyone. I mean, Waseem all friendly here. Um, is there any what you brought home? And you've been like, I regret this. You're annoying. Can't be your friend.

I found a baby crocodile when I was jumping in the creek and I wrestle him and I brought him home, and he had all the food out of the refrigerator. And then in Amanda, where he went upstairs. Yeah, you slathered upstairs. I said what he's doing and he answered because he's an animal in. I was like, I'm you. I should have been by you back here. You just caused in ruckus and hullabaloo. Jacob, your

underwear tracks like, uh, alligators. Are they dirty? Are they really dirty?

sometimes. Sometimes you can't hold it because you've had too much Dairy Queen. Go.

That's yeah, that is very dirty because, like usually usually crocodiles are looking for an antelope. More like a big ah carcass. Uh, that's a stank ass drawer.

No, your ground man in Shelton Me. Now,

I didn't insult a child as an old man. I got to break

this down a little

bit. Okay, so

you wrestled a crocodile, invited him over to your house. Like it like, uh, kind of buddies. Like a great match. Let's have a drink. Thing

I ever heard of wrestling.

That's not the confusing part. Teoh

trying to fill Stever when slot in the Stever winless world, which his son is. Apparently I've seen his son

on Jimmy Fallon coming in every Winston. Yes, Steve Irwin's son trying to come in and be like I do animals now. And I'm like,

No, I don't know, I I I grew to love Steve a step in place. But Jacob, you have been trying

Teoh Bill. Well, you're classically bad with animals. A classic classically bad. But I didn't try and I do try to do an Australian accent that doesn't go very well.

Todo That's what the animals like, do you

think? Well, that's what I think.

That's why Steve Irwin was successful Was because of his

accent. Yes, I think animals air soothe by an accent. And

I know you've got a Southern accent. Ideo. Yes. Yeah, Yeah.

Who had a Todd?

I mean, are you from the South?

O e uh, is, um who you're

having to think west. Where you from? Maybe that'll help.

Oh. Okay. Uh, well, um, are

you military, kid? Is that why every trouble? No, no,

it does not move around a lot.

I moved once.

Okay. Okay. What is some

landmarks by your house?

There's of the building building. And then, um um there's the creek. And then there's a weeping willow tree. That way,

it means it's sort of maybe a swampy sort of southern southern, maybe Louisiana. What?

My ex wife was called in college. Swampy? No way will. I treated her badly.

She wasn't just like sad. She was weeping all the time.

She was inconsolable. I

did not listen to her needs and I murdered her family.

Oh, Wolf, Don't say a word about

Oh my God for a grown man. And that's an unbelievable

I know I grow. I'm a grown man. I'm a grown ass man. I can't murder someone's family on your side.

I mean, what a weeping willow. I mean, I mean, you kill someone's family, and then you're sad

about a little big that you're weeping. I mean, console about at the funeral.

I wish someone would have killed my family.

I was just going to say,

just revealing something very personal to go ahead.

I was just going to say we didn't really get into it in the in the episode. But where you gonna actually try to do your like traveling animals show at local zoos around here? What's your plan on the

Woz as going travel from Xueju Locally. Locally, there's only one. What do you mean? There's only

one? Where were you Onley ones? Ooh,

Mommy was you here?

So the show doesn't physically travel,

but it is traveling Style show.

I travel from cage decay

and you sort of don't go anywhere like a

musician does. Where they have everything sort of strapped with body.

03 And then I play.

So you do a lot of things a musician?

Yes. And you're not actually licensed by the zoo. So you fall into the cages and just start a show?

Yes, I fall right, and I start wrestling. Did you ever hear about wrestling?

Would you like to describe wrestling

just so that maybe we are on the same page? Because I've heard of it. But it sounds like what you think is resting might be different than what

I love. You've ever heard of it. You know about crickets. Rustling is when you lie on top of someone and you

thrust, uh, wait Flaw

osteo my body.

Jake eyes not wrestle. That's that. That's not true. And also, the flaw stance doesn't give you personality. Fucking Children around America being like, Look, I have a personality. No, you learned at dance. Bid

means give you strength That I

do agree with that I think Mihm's are Are the new are the new sort of, like point of connection between kids. You made blood, huh? Mihm's are the new point of connection to Children these days. I hate that t you wear around in the market. Wow, You look

what's the message? Really? I mean Children. The message is clear.

Well, that's how I met you. I read your shirt and I said, Wow, I identify with the words on your chest.

Exactly. So you see it worked.

Congratulations. You met a child of the mall way. Don't Last thing we need is another sex offender in the room. Todd. Oh, fuck off. Take your call. Coincidence? You the new call new through a I

playground. Yes, and I apologize profusely and again. More embarrassing for me. Kids all said I had a smaller Penis than that.

It's who it's more embarrassing for. That's not really the issue. It's not that you embarrassed the kid.

How big is your Penis?

Well, apparently smaller than all these brood seventh graders. Is it the

size of a jelly bean? A.

We're talking with

Teoh round following scythe. Stick of zero. Well, that's the with this, and it is like a red Tootsie

roll pop for sure. Sure, there's some readiness. Yeah, I've had a few doctors quit after its way through the dealer in Vegas. Thing on. Then they shed their hands and left the room.

Yeah, that song Midnight train to Georgia is actually about a doctor quitting after they saw your Penis. Yeah, well, I also only take appointments at 11:30 p.m. That's all the good docks. I mean, that's all the good doctor working is late at night, right

before midnight. That's right. That's right. That's when you can see the ones that are a little there a little more off the book's ah, little more unique. Uh,

do you really

want to be a

doctor that anyone could go to during business hours? And I don't think so. I

got a doctor at night. That's when I see my proctologist.

It's easy question. That is an easy question. Okay, start this. Are you a teenager to teenager?

You in your

teen years? Little. Okay. Flaw stance again, Fox. That one came

back Already did a

I lost my body. Uh, so you see a proctologist?

Yes. I love to have someone root around in my butt router for pleasure. Sometimes I hide things in Barrister, then is like a scab, and

I think we're supposed to be looking for, like, one thing. I don't think I believe polyps are what they're mostly looking forward. Put legs in your butthole.

Yes. Sometimes I'll put a Lego man, our Lego lady

or you actually have you had the whole Star Trek enterprise? A ship my built in your butthole? Yes. Eyes. This a

ship in a bottle situation where you build in

a bottle. I actually I would love for you to come over to my house and sit on the shelf when I have had people over, so I could show you my shipping. But I always wondered, How do they make their ships in the butthole? Do they do they stick him in and then build a question trying? Do they build it in the bottle or or do we interrupted blond? Yeah. You did as well as usual. A butthole. We're not gonna leave that out. Come on. We went fast. Way. Heard it. We got excited. So how do you make a It's dealer's choice. There's another person involved

sometimes. So Okay, there's three different ways. Either you sit on the thing you want in your by, Uh, you assemble it in your about yourself. But then sometimes your arms cut ties to invite your friend Steve over and he does that.

You got your finger in your ear

is if you're singing story was that this song,

the chorus, Uh, at least

you have your friend come over. This is a lot like

Beyonce's. Um, Yes. Thank you.

Yes, thank you.

You changes to Steve putting the Lakers in my bubble.

Did you see one sentence?

Probably. Also, she is not sure. I mean, I couldn't get enough of your performance at Coachella, Stephen my But it was

I thank you

as very with a very literally viewed. Well, that was true. You are. You have had a drug overdose. You're not a drug overdose. And you were the only one at the venue. Yeah, I overdosed on the ride out to Coachella on the bus. What

did you overeaters

earned? I alcohol. Yeah, Blah. People call it food poisoning, but no, my body, my drinking too much food. I call in sick food court. Yeah, I wasn't For what, 2030 years now? Yeah. You got that ria man? I go, Teoh, I go to

meetings actually to discuss my food poisoning with

I got a triple triple A disgusting food poisoning. Oh, thank

you, guys. It's, um it's not something everyone, like talk about.

OK, So, Jake

OK? Yeah, So

what was your Chou like? Did you hang out with any of the band?

Wow. I gotta say, Coachella was very warm. It was very high to swear right under our some of the bands,

was it? Now tell me this,

Uh,

at least it was a dry heat

right out of the desert. And we all know that where you're from, I think in the South it could be pretty moist, muggy,

very moist. And Maggie and undercarriage gets a wet.

Any time I go back to the South, I say the thing about where we are wear Armani. Never way. I always brag

about it being a dry heat. When I'm in California,

just about a driving Levi's. At least

my heats dry. I like a dry because it feels like you're in. And oven.

Do you get it up in a lot of time? That's part of your show at the zoo.

Yes. I bring my easy bake oven and climb right in.

You looked up a monkey monkey

cooked up on my

was all right. B Haram A's brother. That was some of the most delicious monkey bread I've ever Thank you. It was hard It was not cinnamon like the other way above the love for sure. And we ate that share when you got a whole You've got a chef's TV

show off of that, right? Salt on a monkey and scream Eat animal.

Yeah, shooting. That's been really hard, because, um, Zu asks me to leave a lot. I can't leave without my goods. Eso Now, I've been cooking up squirrels

and have you running into problems with you on that. You're killing their only attraction. You think I'm killing you?

Get a little angry with men. They gave me a restraining order and I said, You can't do that. You're not a person or entity.

I think the zoo is. Maybe Booth is the person that you have a deep well

of law knowledge, but also a big hole within that

way. You can

Yeah. You are a typical kid. I mean, you barbecued a big hippo. I

did. I write on a spit. Yeah, 12 him around and tell you is all toasty. Then I sliced him up and I said, Come on.

And that was a really slow cook. That was what

it took. 42 minutes,

two minutes it was not. It was there. That was the thing. Outside was crispy, was

inside bloody. That's what I call rare.

You should be your get. It is not eat animals. That's what I call rare. Especially

because these are all in danger levels.

So it's got a double. Make a

well, just excited. Yeah,

uh, I've noticed. I mean, since we have you here, you haven't been hanging out with a lot of the campers. Is everything OK? Socially? I mean, a lot of a lot of camp is about meeting people having fun.

Nobody wants to wrestle with me. So that is a

point of contention.

Maybe you could define yourself by something other than thrusting into people,

but I was all I ever wanted to dio You ever watched wrestling?

Um, I watch. I

watch both what you're talking about, and I also watch recipe What?

Your nose? More of that

more. What usually leads to the other

way you very

sweaty watching WWF the other night and you have been in

your room. All right. Wild race

again for not using their new stupid man. Yeah,

it's always Debbie Debbie f to me. Jacob

W jump worldwide elephant. Wait, What

does that stand

for? The World Wrestling Entertainment.

Oh, All right. Well, what did the AB stand

for? World Wrestling Federation.

That was, like

back a while ago,

before they got sued by your enemies, The World Wildlife

Fund. Oh, I love learning. And that question never comes up in jeopardy. I'll get it. Right.

Well, Jacob, I thought you had a I thought you had a

girlfriend. At one point in the camp I saw you going around with with Tiffany schemes.

Yeah, Tiffany schemes. And I we were fucking What is fucking

mean to you

fucking means you wrap your arms around someone in a circle and then you knock him down.

So it is a that is wrestling. Yeah. Have

you ever seen fucking

ah way? Yes. And I've also seen the other thing you're talking.

Okay, well, I drowned her

because I have noticed if he skis looks very different at camp now.

Yes, The answer is dead. Yes, I've been weakened at burning ing her. Oh, you weigh. All know she looked, did you? But you need to

pay schemes his body to do a weekend at burning. You are burning around. I a big scarecrow. You left the body somewhere else.

Lips? Yeah, You caught me. I guess I didn't watch the movie. You

dragged her out onto the dock from the lake and just left her there dead on. Then you walked around the scarecrow saying, This is

her. I put on stilts and I put strings on the scarecrows. And I was puppeteer.

Everyone can see the scarecrow was too tall, too tall. They look like a little girl from can. You're

right. And I think

the on this one, the mistake is, ah, 100% on us. We should have noticed that. And I think probably part of us didn't want to deal with the fact that a camper might be missing or dead, So we just accepted the reality

way. All swore. We thought she was a scarecrow. Enrolled

her back in the late. Yeah, we were actually happy that it wasn't anything to deal with. Jason. Yes, Alexander

Asylum. Because I was like, That's not my name. Who you talk about? Sorry. Yeah.

We're talking about Jason Alexander after.

What do you up to for the rest today?

You know, Probably won't go skiing on

probably get Probably. Yeah, you have. Like, it's been dead

of summer.

Yeah. I'm gonna go skiing on some sand on, then probably have some lunch and tender greens. Ice skating in some more dirt way.

And we've told you leaving camp as a campers is difficult. So are you. Are you planning on sneaking offer? You just telling us that you're seeking

Seema Shawshank Redemption?

No, I have not. Actually, I was tasked. Great movie.

You're digging. You're digging a hole in a cell

with Why are you doing it on your phone, Bill de o. All

right, take up that. Let him go,

Geo. Three only, kid, that's stronger than

May. That's the only kid that's stronger than may.

Listen, I, Jake about, like, were we really appreciate you being here to record the episode earlier, but I think maybe I think maybe you should head out your plans.

You gonna schedule this earlier? Trying to wrestle. May I try scheduling earlier? Sorry. That is very true.

What? Jacob. Thanks for, uh, coded

way

notes the song and there's a lot left a lot left. All right. By Jacob.

Wow. Skied away. Yeah,

Day is

a good kid eyeglass country sort of walking walked out with skis, applauded. Or I think I think Jacobs a really good kid. I think what I dio he me means well, just

choked me out.

Yeah, everybody's got monkey. He's

passionate, You know about singing about animals, all that kind of stuff. Sometimes you gotta take the good with the bad with these kids and let and foster the good a little bit. I feel like if you if you try to stifle all the bad stuff, all the good stuff gets stifled too. It's like when you take an anti depressant, you know what I mean? Have you guys ever taken any depressed? Hell, no Fucking Well, yeah, right, Well, because way. Well, when you taken any depressing, it sort of takes the edge off of both sides. So you're never is happy.

I don't even think

about the word depression to

give myself something to blame my personality on Absolutely not just like this. If you ever sad, you just need to double down. Okay? If you take an ICT a presence, it's the perfect scapegoat. Sorry.

On other bridges, I can't come on in my presence. I can't bet it's and the fresh I Simon look, just and of the press outside anything. Well, I'm just saying I think I think you gotta take the good with the bad with these kids sometimes. And I think Jacobs doing a good job.

Well, as a man with the daughter, Um, I think what you have to do with it is, Well, she runs for me. That doesn't mean she hates I think you have Teoh. You know, you have to treat kids like adults. You know, adults don't want to be hung out with time. They don't wanna be bothered. Way Want to goto work? Need to goto work. That's right. You know they need to. They need to go to the store and buy alcohol for me. Sometimes

Sometimes a verse a reverse kids in high school where you make your underage daughter

go by you being You should shoulder tap Children.

My shoulder tech, specifically my daughter, I say, Excuse me, miss, uh, you

tell her to go to a gas station and don't tell her what's going.

He's like I drove here with you. Well, I would love to

drive, but the state took away my license in my car. They took your car. May I feel for you, but yeah. I mean, yeah, yeah. I was a man with no license.

You know, it's both of us. Neither of our fault.

Yeah. Yeah. I wish my daughter understood anything, and it's just tough for me because I'm too in my past out here and that they

don't give us one of

your best stuck. Not everyone is good. Yeah. You got to be bad for other people to look good. Yeah,

and that's what we're

telling. That's what I've been telling these kids in the practices for the triathlon. I've been saying be bad now, so you could be good later

Is so ensuring their performance.

I need to get the finish line today. Okay.

You better get your one dress.

You saying that the

past few days all I gotta do the days get finish line?

It is all I have to

do each day. And so because of that, I just never quite get to

it. How come you didn't get to it

yesterday? I saw you fucking wander around doing nothing but

cooking up something. That's not really good. Yeah, well, I was when you are limping. I was really

focused on this new meatball recipe. Do it. Yeah, Good. It's local. Oh, how local farm is can table five farm to table. OK,

just from the farm. Right outside. Some would even say

the back 40.

Yeah, it almost seemed maybe kitchen to table or home to take

you. And also I'll be I'll be honest. When I saw it on the menu, it was lower case F capital A R m Yeah to table. Let's see.

Yes. Yeah, a Ziff arm was very

well, Let's just say let's just arm t o e. I will say this. It's knife, toe, arm to table.

Okay. And as you're saying that you're waving around where your arms

are trying to ever I guess. Yes, I am Justic yah Late ing, But you can't tell from the shoulder slightly. Sam, I hate to say this, but you look like a human nugget. I don't You like you had a big smile interface? Maybe that's what's next on the menu way. Haven't won more Wrexham meals, Final weeks of meals. I've seen me

working with Cem M I t students that they're trying to give you some metal arms that are controlled by your brain

eyes. All you riding

on the back of one of those Boston Dynamics

robots. And you think it was crazy? Well, we were, like opening up doors and going through them and people were like commenting on Facebook being like No thanks. Future, Stay here. A lot of comments. I'd say the robots,

smarter than the man could do more than the man looking guy on top isn't the one

you were the whatever part of the experiment that control. Yeah, well, they put a tube in my mouth, and I'm supposed to be able to control the robot with the to based on air and also talking. But instead, it was more like

a bucking bronco with the human negative. They made the

robot because it is I look like one of those McDonald's nuggets that shaped like Africa. Yeah. What? You came over the other day with a little toy. It's right. Well, we're not doing I wanted, unfortunately, only had girl toys left. I'm sorry. I don't want girl toys

having your lady. Oh, man, you shouldn't

want boy. Oh, what a boy. Toy baby. Time

through the kind of

toy hired Playing with trucks in the sand is not gonna get you laid. Oh, what play with Barbie sure isn't either. Okay, Todd, I think you need to talk about this. You I don't want throw another to trump here in his own right now. And thank God we're not recording because this is an embarrassing. Oh, this is not a bear. This is who I am. Your crying black crying. I'm I am, um What's it called? Uh, strong. You're looking down at your pocket. You're pulling out a small compact. Don't always looking at himself.

You started. You're looking in the mirror crying.

Think iss eyes this even

his confusion. Or is he doing this

too? Throw the sent off for another. Because, Michael, my calendar

figure goes to Michael. I am so sorry about debates. One. No,

no, no. I sour I Hey, I am sick to my stomach.

Listen, those Deb. Yeah, I'll be honest. I'll be honest. I will be the first to admit I went too far. I said it on the episode. I'll say it again.

I thought I would apology. I went way too far throwing me in the trash. I didn't. I mean,

it was It was heated. Them

big p from Sam Big gulping pH because I had to go and it hit me.

We're very do it. You a

bathroom? I was trying to walk.

The legs were smarter than you, and they ran off because they didn't want to be connected to your done. But

that's right. My little robot buffalo just keeps running away. I can't keep it Is a buffalo, That's what That's what I say about those robots. No, thank you. No fucking You think? Oh, I've

seen the Terminator, my friends and I don't wanna live it. Good bye, Sky men.

Yeah. No, thank you That you know, that's it for May the skull. Skull emojis column

OD. Well, you know, I just Do you want to say now off air to your face? Bill, I am very

sorry. Thanks so much for waiting till no one's looking or listening to apologize for running my campaign. Come out. No tearing each other apart

here. Yeah, you know, and I'll

say just I had just secured mai tais down at Wall Skeet and you pull that. I had big boil. I had wall skied ahead of also Littlejohn's company. Yes, they're on your side just because you keep your ties there, your true ties at their office. And now they're in your past stuff on the walls via wall skied. It's clear walls, everything. So we all know way.

Yeah came out. Littlejohn started a company called Wall Ski,

which is a sort of glue like substance that you can use. It's kind of like sticky tack for posters, but it's clear and running.

The company has gone public, is traded on the NASDAQ, huge keeping a majority of Lower Manhattan and business secretly.

And you did a commercial for them when he said, I'm Bill Cravy. I can even use my ties with wall skin, which is important cause you wear such big heavy ties.

I have the thickest ties in the game shit on May Clowns ain't got shit on May,

and nobody's looking to compete with clowns. As far as style goes,

you may, and you made that a campaign ad where it's all sort of training day style. But how clouds clowns ain't got shit on you for your big ties. Absolutely. I've seen that movie and I get the Rembrandt and I'll get add to it.

That debate was humiliating for all of us. I would say, um,

oil was there and how we're in me on

in front of everybody. Howard, for some reason, trying to show on Anthony's Weiner picture showed a bill's weiner picture.

Yeah, and you know, Bill, I'll say this. You

shouldn't have courted

you shouldn't have quartered. Courted the big Moyle vote in the first place. If you didn't have a circumcised Penis, I

thought I was to circumcise. Isn't that backwards? You You're circumcised.

You thought you

were circumcised. Thoughts of I thought my skin was little. That can be tough to tell. Will Turns out I'm not circumcised at all. And I have a big ass sheet Big.

Yeah, And I You know, in the heat of the moment, I thought this is the only way that I can hit you. What's the only hit Aiken May? I was breathing down your neck for a majority of that. You

were following him around.

It was taunting your ass. Yeah, and I felt like I had to pull out a big gun Pants to the floor. Yes, you did. you did indeed. Uh, and you stuck him to the floor with some all skeet. That was really frustrating for me. And I'll just say,

Yeah, I I

know you don't think this apology is sincere, but I I do I do truly apologize because I wanted to run a campaign that that people could get behind for me as lunatic in the White House that didn't involve smear tactics and hit pieces and all that time of year tactic

which the morals loved they

loathe. Probably the most schmear at every single craft. Charlotte says nation.

I know you did. With any luck, we're even now because you've hit me constantly. And I thought you wants. And it was a good hit. And we'll see what happens when the election actually roll around. Showed a picture of my Penis. Very the most HD photo I've ever seen. Harsh lighting from my genital warts Doctor's appointment, you say? Well, I paid

your doctor todo you bring your doctor's appointments. Okay? You've been paying. You paid him? I was worried you're going to the same doctor is me. Which I just found out is a headshot photographer.

Well, yeah, I did multiple looks for my dick. I did a funny one. I actually got cast in the commercial.

Yeah, and I don't think what I

want the Lotto write the funniest ladder because everyone

in town being disappointed that a dick one

way. Oh, great. He's a dick. Anyone? The latter don't let a dick win this year's lotto Buy a ticket? Yeah, and my dick was my

dick was walking around, all cocky. I even made for that to be like that. Yeah, well,

it's another jobs that someone booked over. May I remember

when my dick auditioned against you? Because I was standing there cause I'm connected to it. Well, you blue that audition. Well, I that mouse as well.

Yep. Blue May, she tried to get up. They were like, So you're dating the dick and you got your just hanging out. That's the top of everyone's do that. You go in the room where you go. I got a couple extra ideas with I got a couple ideas. I think it really hurts with my dick for 1/2 hour out in the waiting room, you're being very chill. And then when we got in the room You went crazy. You're sacked by death. It must have

been nerves. It was in the moment. It was

You also did say out loud. Oh, I've done this before by the elm tree. Yeah, yeah. You

know, we're in the moment. Where is not us? Fucking in the moment.

Nothing can stop you. Not people. Not the people running the room saying, OK, that's enough. I'm not the person you're in the scene with. Kind of like looking at you like, let me talk a little

way. Always talk about this. The actor is the only one who can really call Cut, go Until my version

of the scene is That's right. And I've called cut on other actors before

You're an actor, you don't

turn it off. You know, we're always

I am So method and all my characters are assholes. So it's, uh, in day to day life. It's nice, but yeah, I don't know what happened because I did get put on never come back.

That's the not the same as a

veil, not the opposite. Not

right. Well, I was, you know, waiting for that call you got pinned down by the police? Yes. So another audition where I get fucking arrested in the room.

Is that too many to count?

I mean, um, way was start with my Barney audition

thing. This is amazing. I have never of all the auditions

I've done and sent people on is a high powered agents. I've never seen sexy cops make an arrest.

No. Yeah, well, that happens to May. And the fucking cops keep booking my roles while they're arrested.

Really? Yes. Yeah, They say beat that guy up again. We would try. Do it one more time. Little better. A little quicker. Low, harder Your own This time, Riel. Timothy Shallow

may beat the crap out of me and my colleague by your

name audition. You get through a racially got that? I got an idea. He responded to the scene with your name. I hope that whole

fucking peach seen by the way it's stuff. I improvise in the audition. And

that happened to be what you were doing in the lobby side. You were playing that character huge. You were going huge Top. You walked in with big energy yelling. This guy's gay, right? Good. Got it. Where you addressed in a dress it was meticulous was so offensive. Todd, we were all there. We saw it. We were going for a stabbing commercial across the way. Yeah, lady Got it again. Way all crash. The Snapple lady auditions way were also dresses, but you were being offensive about it. Way were on their way to a funny lunch way. We're gonna lamp in women at lunch. We're gonna wear hats and talk about, like, fucking shopping. Get a What are these lunches, by the way? Talk about women's life. I

know each other, not the listeners, because we're off. Listen, Todd, honestly, if I think big picture about your life, if you

zoom out too far, it's too sad. That's that's gonna

say sometimes I just think big picture about your life and my own in all of ours. And sometimes I think maybe we have gone so far off the end of the diving board that there's no

coming back. You guys ever feel

that way? Well, I mean, when I was looking at my

uncircumcised close up head shot in my day, Okay? Okay. I was humiliated cause I've been lying to my constituency. I've got I've got a Ah fruit by the foot. Just lose scared. And here I am, one never ready to get circumcised. And I have never felt more like a fraud.

Well, what is it about you that is seeking on Lee? You're all personality is defined by approval from other people.

Well, what? What? I don't know what else matters,

Do you think maybe tricking people into thinking that you're fine? But do you think that maybe has something to do with the way that you look at yourself, Bill, that you don't think you're fine And you need other people to tell you that

you're fine. I'm fine, Bill. You're fine. You're so far, you boomer mind. Bill,

you're fine.

I'm so five. Ricky.

I wish you I honestly wish we didn't talk through that hole, Mr Rogers. Movie way. Could have learned a lot. Rice Boy. I've heard a lot from people of, like stuff. They learn from it and it felt like, you know, not only people in the theater but me. Now I'm regretting screaming through that movie using loudly on purpose

I waas I was so sick. I did look just like the King character from his. I had a shiny ass, red nose, red ass cheeks Because

we thought that was you unscrewed for

that. I was like this. This king stole my look. But that's the

only time I paid a judge in

that there's I think this may be that act of screaming through Mr Rogers is a microcosm for for our whole, our whole life, our whole existence. We sit here and we scream and scream and scream into these microphones and never wants stop for two seconds and see what's going on in the distance. Guys.

thick

Hell, I think I'm fine. And now I'm dependent on a robot. May

cut off arms, legs from farming.

I'd Sam, it has gotten so bad. You are a human, not get

on top of a pasta and dynamics robot.

You are so concerned with pleasing other people.

What? That

you fed yourself

Because I just wanted people to know me.

Oh, honey, honey, Thank you. Maybe it's just

because I'm fasting today for young

poor being 10 time You said it

being Bing Bing.

And I just do feel so spirit feel spiritually today. But I was calling everyone up and asking what they had to atone for that. They've done to me. Um, that's the opposite of what this holiday is about. Well, and that's what people kept saying. And it's starting to make me think. What do I have to atone

for? I think there's a lot, Todd. I mean, uh, quite frankly, deranged perception of how good you are at acting. Yeah, I guess I'm a little better than I think. You know, wear saying the opposite. Todd, you're a bad actor, okay? You're a bad actor, A bad husband, bad father, counselor.

Oh, that 1st 1 hurts. All

you care about is that three

a bad husband about bother, bad camp counselor and a bad actor. I mean, you're so disconnected from your relationship with your daughter that you think that the deer that exists in this forest are your daughter. I've

been starting to really have second thoughts about that.

Yeah. What about you,

Blunt? You're craving attention from other people so much that you change your whole name. Now. I didn't find your whole personality. Is

your damages your body? Well, that was Ah. Could we

talk about your plants? Emphasis on plants? I mean, five implants. Emphasis on plans. Why

did you get all this implant? That shit clicks. Oh, you got you look like a garden. So you're

stuffed like a little guys. You stuff one of these little trees in your butt months? I months I but I heard some of the kids talking about you. Ah, like you were one of the kids that can't be seen. Look at this blunt sprouted tits baton.

What are you doing? What you do? You have to do that.

Why did you put plants inside of your skin? Well, guys, you know, you guys have really done

a number on my masculinity over the course of the Seven Seasons with my Bob. No, I'm jealous. You know, at this point, I'm going sewer. No, I'm going so far in the opposite direction that you guys can't make fun of me anymore. I'm gonna make my body so unique and crazy that you can't say you can't want

say is new

taking control of the drone.

I've taken control of the joke. I'm taking my body back. A

lot of my comedy heroes

have done that. You know, it's ah, prior talking about his drugs classic. Yeah,

I'm taking my body back and here to my, like, Richard

drugs. I like, uh, post, not

Richard Brown Rich. And you get per

post. Yeah, that's it. I just think I I honestly, guys, this summer has been pretty enlightening to me, and

I'll be

even want to be lunatic in the White House. If I'm being completely honest,

I don't

What she would have thought of this before you showed my Penis to everyone. Well, beyond the the only way I can, uh, defensive. Well, the only way I

could get my friends to even look at me for two seconds this year was to cause turmoil.

We look at you all the time we're pointing at. You were yelling.

Yeah, Well, I wanted to have some freakin one on one interactions

of your faces on the fucking dartboard.

Yeah, that's not the kind interaction I wanted. You know, I thought this summer we were

gonna get together. We're gonna hang out good times on the on the lake. Okay, I I set up a couple of meat meat, meat ups night on the golf course. You guys don't show up? Yeah. You

know what I think it is.

I think it's you think

cares if we're gonna be honest.

We hate you and your Bama bad personality. We

hate meeting up with

the other off course at night.

I think that maybe we're too masculine for you.

I think you last wow, a little more.

Here's what I think I could accept you for who you

are, but I need to see you be who you are

and you like me. I am so in

my skin every day. Yeah, he walks around just confidently who he is, not a policy, and I don't care who I hurt. Well,

that's honestly that hits me pretty hard, Todd, because if I think about who I really am, let's really get down to business. I am the soul of a biology teacher, dead and reincarnated in the body of a band's teacher, who then shed the skin of that band teacher to become his old body again. But at my core,

there's more to them. There is your also now in the

body of ah, tiny man. Oh, that's right, because I didn't add transplant time.

Yeah, yeah, your own, uh, Schwarzenegger's. Yes. So who's not the real one. Yeah, right. So, yeah.

What is that about?

Well, honestly, I think running breath that I think that's the good. That's the core of my issues. Guys, I don't know who

I am anymore. You know, I've been in and out of so many different circumstances that I have lost track of who I am, which is a guy who loves human anatomy loves. That's well God, You talking about breasts? No, I'm talking about I'm talking about biology. I'm talking about sciences. I I have completely lost track of who I am. You want to become a human greenhouse?

No, I want to be a scientist, guys,

So Oh, really? That's what you had bottled up for seven seasons.

Just came out to us. T this all I've been looking for us is a chance to be assigned.

Wait, this is perfect. There's one thing that will fix all of us. You found yours. I just need to be size and that your scientists I'll be happy. That's what ISS. Yes, grasp it something. Yeah, crest. But CREss it desperately firstly because I

want to be a paperweight. Look like you I trying to

take this paper way Oh, my rubber still flew off. Dang it, OK, all your rubbers rule? Yeah. You try to be a paperweight for my stacker rubbers. I look, it slipped right away. I want to be your anyone

with those magnums. By the way,

I think he needs all that extra room for the fruit by the foot of foreskin that gets shoved into their

I wanna be I wanna be I wanna be learned taking the

lithe self realization there.

Yeah, just just the thing you've been trying to do the whole season. We get it. Yeah, Great, Todd.

I just want to be a man Loves cornflakes more than

I What? I just opened my Goddio chest up for you guys. You just you just be a man and grasp it something for a second. Take a wild grab your next persona. Okay? Jesus.

If I'm being honest with all of you, I want I want to be Ah, I want to build a scientist. I think I would love to put on a lab coat.

No. Wow. Just do somebody else something.

You grab a couple of speakers, get in the lab, get a couple beaker and be a frickin

science Tadre has always loved science and is finally gonna pursue one hurting here. Should you

heard it here first. Okay, well,

that's this is great. We could do science together,

and it'll be kind of a competition. And whoever is more successful the better, man.

Yeah, that always works well

for you, Black boozer Boom, boom are doing boom, boom, boom. Making

me thirsty. I get

down! Get down! Get down! Get down,

Jason, get

back here. Since my mama Llama Princess making 50 Jacob, I mean XO. Okay. Bye wave. Bye bye.

Oh, just each other's next. That's weird. Oh, shit. Guys. What? Oh, my God. Why the whites arm? What? Which light?

The lighthouse light, Of course, with the problem.

Oh, yes, the layouts light is on. You see your life from within? Yes, that's not what I mean, though. We've been

the hot sign that crispy cream designed lifetime.

Well, if that's the game, but I didn't see that, but if that's the case, let's go, Tonto,

Light on for you, but

not Motel six. We'll leave the light on for you. I want to tell you, but let's just

give you the light. Just past the

dro. Yeah. No, not No, no. Keep guessing.

Theo.

Lights on your, uh

you're saying God, you're seeing light because you're about to die?

No, no, no. I wish no

me to know. You have to go home because you left the light on. Is your stand up almost over? Oh, yeah. You're getting a life

because you've been being

really funny. No, it's not that. I've been doing a set and they're giving me a like my time's up in another

comedians coming out. Todd, What life

you have stage

Leno's next. Well, I guess that is happening because Leno, what was

that way? There's two lights on. What's this

light? This is the recording life.

Wait a minute. What? Todd, I think Todd, can you look in the eyes? Okay. Look me in the eyes right now.

We've been recording this whole goddamn time. Yeah. Wow, It doesn't feel good. Yeah, that's OK. Thank you way.

See? Like we were recording, so we got some good stuff.

Wait, No, no, no. Hang on. That's good. You've been recording this whole time, But we You hit a button before. Should we not record the whole goddamn episode? time that, you know, that's a sure deal. That's not a good someone's a little temporal about this for you. You said you were going to be good at this. Lighthouse has to go up in the polls, and all of a sudden, these and and how are you guys? OK, you guys such a

hard time every goddamn week because I start recording too early, and

we

this

sensitive baby in the later this,

I'm gonna go do some experiments. Yeah, right. I'm an experiment. First, according let's get no, I I'll tell

you this, I'm gonna be a lot more. Maybe a lot more focused. Now that I'm in the lab, I have a lot more focus. I'm not gonna make these mistakes.

Well, a lots gonna happen this week. Jesus Christ, guys, we have the triathlon. By the way to go get the finish line way.

We're going to do that. Today we got we're going to get ah, lunatic in the White House is going to be announced.

The votes coming next Tuesday. It was like from the episode that we need to let doing heavy Jerry Mannering. Right? That was in the episode.

I've been doing some happy, very districting taking a can of paint and a brush Tim changing repaid with this mix. It's very obvious I'm gerrymandering All around the camp

You've been jamon or you've been pork barreling its earmarking, earmarking

you get a Jed's I hang jazz, I hang Chad. I hang big Chad, you

know? Okay, well, everything else is just lost. Lost to the abyss because we didn't record the actually

look out for the lost episodes

for the lost episodes saved by the bell. Saved by the bell. The college years? I don't

know. How the fuck do we in the episode if we're If we aren't even on and doing an essay, stay Flippy backwards. Uh, yeah.