Seekers' Lounge
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s12e03

Meatlejuice’s Feast

Originally aired: December 4, 2023

The Teachers discuss the soft opening of the restaurant and mic up Bill as he waits tables.

0:00:30 Speaker 6

Well, guys, I think we're making some progress on the stink behind the restaurant. You know how out by the dumpsters there's been that stink that we couldn't get rid of

0:00:39 Speaker 11

no matter what? We pour bleach on it. We pour oil on it. We did everything.

0:00:45 Speaker 6

It's tough to get out, but I buffed all night last night. I also flamed it. You know what I mean? So it should be better. If you guys want to go back there and take

0:00:54 Speaker 4

a sniff. Well, you guys know, thanks for the parking spot, by the way, but I don't love the location.

0:01:00 Speaker 6

It's the closest one to the door. I know. And I was just going to say, I walked in through the back, obviously.

0:01:06 Speaker 0

Give a mouse a cookie.

0:01:08 Speaker 11

Give a mouse a cookie. Complaining. You get the nice spot, of course, by the dumpster. By the stink. You want to be close or do you want your spot to not stink?

0:01:21 Speaker 6

I think we went with convenience over making sense for a lot of this. So the dumpster and your parking spot are right at the front door. Yeah. Because we

0:01:32 Speaker 11

didn't want to have a long walk to the trash can. Unfortunately, you keep valeting the dumpster.

0:01:37 Speaker 6

What do you mean, unfortunately? Where else are we supposed to do it? Did I say unfortunately? You did. Oh, sorry. Sorry.

0:01:44 Speaker 11

With fortune. God, we can valet with much, much fortune. We can valet.

0:01:52 Speaker 6

That's what I'm talking about. With a dumpster. I knew it was good to pay extra for that dumpster with a steering wheel. I knew it was good. Oh, and I like that you chopped

0:02:01 Speaker 11

the top of it. It's convertible now. We took it to the beach the other day.

0:02:06 Speaker 6

The

0:02:06 Speaker 4

ladies weren't loving

0:02:08 Speaker 4

but who was? The seagulls. The seagulls were going nuts. The seagulls were going nuts. The seagulls were going nuts. I'll take 20 seagulls over one woman any day.

0:02:08 Speaker 6

us. Well,

0:02:15 Speaker 11

Absolutely. We left the beach

0:02:16 Speaker 4

with

0:02:17 Speaker 11

40 seagulls in tow.

0:02:20 Speaker 10

Which, hey, yeah, yeah. We did.

0:02:22 Speaker 11

Oh, yeah. And we whined and dined them on bread, bread,

0:02:26 Speaker 6

bread, bread. Dude,

0:02:28 Speaker 10

Sunday was like a movie. Oh, no. Oh, 20 seagulls per guy.

0:02:35 Speaker 11

Full montage. In the Santa Monica Beach pier,

0:02:38 Speaker 10

scrounging for trash. And we play in Flock of Seagulls when we're driving

0:02:43 Speaker 9

around.

0:02:43 Speaker 0

Oh, yeah. You know we are. Yeah. And we are kings with a movie. Just every fellow we walk by doing the sunglasses like.

0:02:52 Speaker 6

Yeah. Oh, my God.

0:02:55 Speaker 0

You should have seen us cruise through Beverly Hills the other day, 40 seagulls flying behind the car.

0:03:00 Speaker 8

Unbelievable. Jealousy. Oh, yeah. And they wouldn't park too close to us because they know they were getting scatted on all day and they weren't going to park

0:03:08 Speaker 11

too close to us. Well, we know when one of us comes in and we're covered in white doo -doo, we've had the night of our lives. Hey, it's the Walk of Shame.

0:03:21 Speaker 6

Oh,

0:03:21 Speaker 9

listen. You come in,

0:03:23 Speaker 6

you're absolutely ghosted out. Full crusto. We're like,

0:03:29 Speaker 9

somebody had a good night. I don't know what you

0:03:32 Speaker 8

heard about me. Okay. But

0:03:40 Speaker 11

I'm a

0:03:41 Speaker 8

motherfucking

0:03:41 Speaker 11

P -I -N -P. Big pimping this weekend with us and the seagulls. Yeah.

0:03:48 Speaker 4

Big pimping. But to get back to the stink, Sam, it's not getting better. It's getting better. I think. It's getting better. I think we're just getting used to it.

0:04:00 Speaker 6

Well, I am putting at least. I know it's not getting better. I know it's not

0:04:06 Speaker 4

getting better. He's not crazy. I'm not getting better.

0:04:08 Speaker 6

But I am putting a lot of baking soda on top

0:04:12 Speaker 4

of it. Yeah. And so that is. It's a mask. It's a mask. Yeah. Yeah. A

0:04:16 Speaker 11

of sorts.

0:04:16 Speaker 6

muting mask

0:04:18 Speaker 4

Which, by the way, thank you for the

0:04:20 Speaker 11

birthday gift as well. Oh, yeah. I mean, not to go back, but it

0:04:23 Speaker 6

is so hard to make the dumpster stink when we want to attract seagulls to date us. Yeah. It's kind of like pick your poison. Yeah. Either we have a clean dumpster and a successful restaurant. Or we're the happiest guys in

0:04:38 Speaker 0

town.

0:04:42 Speaker 6

Happiest and coolest.

0:04:44 Speaker 9

Yeah.

0:04:45 Speaker 4

Yeah. But it's just, I think if we want to like grow or make it a pleasant experience to come in, I think we should do something about it. I'd consider even building some sort of tunnel or something like, you know, that we can.

0:05:02 Speaker 11

Oh, and avoid a dumpster tunnel to

0:05:03 Speaker 0

avoid stink. Yes. This is a really good idea. Yeah. So this would be what? The dumpster is in the tunnel or you take the tunnel underground to the

0:05:11 Speaker 4

restaurant so we don't have to smell the stink. Yeah. We kind of go from

0:05:14 Speaker 6

parking lot to into the restaurant around the stink. It could be kind of like when you're camping in the snow. You got to dig a little hole for all the cold air to go down into. Maybe we dig a stink hole.

0:05:24 Speaker 4

Yeah.

0:05:25 Speaker 6

That's great. Oh. I mean, we should try something.

0:05:27 Speaker 11

It sucks the stink down. You camp right next to the dumpster, but all the stink is going down a little hole. Do you think and good air rises? I hope so. Yeah. It must. But then we

0:05:37 Speaker 6

might have to ice down the dumpster to make the stink sink.

0:05:41 Speaker 11

Right. So let's put the dumpster on ice to get the stink to sink into the hole. Yeah. That'd

0:05:46 Speaker 4

be good. And then we'll. Okay. Yeah. We'll see. But anyway, we should probably get this episode rolling. Uh, welcome to the teacher's on folks. Used to be the first best and only podcast pertaining to issues relevant to the Hamilton high school community. But now, of course, your favorite four

0:06:02 Speaker 0

teachers have started a restaurant and we are having a blast. I, of course, am Howard Levis, uh, new, new to the bartending game, getting a handle on flair. Uh,

0:06:15 Speaker 4

the sort

0:06:15 Speaker 0

of, uh, the, uh, the, the bartending tricks. Just learn the recipes, Howard.

0:06:20 Speaker 4

I just learn the recipes. You don't have to add flips and tricks. Well, you want people, people can get a beer anywhere, but, but you want to sort of give them a show

0:06:30 Speaker 6

at the same time. But you're supposed to flip the bottles around.

0:06:33 Speaker 4

You're supposed to flip the bottles around

0:06:34 Speaker 0

when you're serving it. Not the customers, the women.

0:06:37 Speaker 4

Well, I do, like, I do a little dance around them. I like sort of, we'll, we'll do a little mambo, uh, or

0:06:43 Speaker 6

a little, a little samba, you know? We were doing mambo number three the other day. Yeah.

0:06:47 Speaker 4

You

0:06:48 Speaker 11

mambo. So

0:06:48 Speaker 6

couldn't play mustard. A little known

0:06:49 Speaker 11

would forget it halfway through and you wouldn't even make it to the fifth step.

0:06:49 Speaker 4

you

0:06:52 Speaker 4

Yeah. Well, there's not a song to teach you how to do it. That's true.

0:06:55 Speaker 11

That is true.

0:06:56 Speaker 4

but

0:06:56 Speaker 0

Um,

0:06:57 Speaker 11

things are. Everybody begs up for a new mambo, right?

0:07:01 Speaker 0

He

0:07:01 Speaker 11

begs up for sure. He begs up for a new

0:07:05 Speaker 6

dad. And the customers are begging for their drinks because you give it to them.

0:07:11 Speaker 4

Yeah. Well, I'll say this. If you want to gauge my performance on anything, gauge it on the amount of tips that I got at my, on my first night at the bar.

0:07:20 Speaker 11

Oh, someone's confident. Okay. You are doing well. I did get a tip. So I think I'm doing

0:07:26 Speaker 0

a tip. One tip. Huh? We were slammed. Yeah. No. You got one tip?

0:07:29 Speaker 4

Yes. And it was a very nicely worded letter from a lady. Uh, it was awesome.

0:07:35 Speaker 6

Uh, it wasn't a monetary tip. It was like

0:07:37 Speaker 4

an advice. No, no, no. Somebody saw me and said, I like knew that I had potential. And so they wrote like a nice sort of three page letter, um, sort of about what I can't

0:07:47 Speaker 0

We

0:07:48 Speaker 4

pull tips here. I didn't get it. I didn't get any of that letter. I

0:07:52 Speaker 0

didn't

0:07:52 Speaker 4

get any

0:07:52 Speaker 0

of the letter,

0:07:53 Speaker 4

dude. Yeah. Well, it felt like it was addressed to me. I thought, I thought if somebody

0:07:58 Speaker 6

handed me something directly. That would have made me feel so good. Someone see me at my job and tell me that I have potential and that I could be better than this.

0:08:06 Speaker 4

Yeah. Better than the place that I currently am in my life. I'm sorry. I want a piece of that. I'm sorry. Okay. Sometimes I want every now and then I'd love to do something for myself. You know, I feel like I'm the most selfless member of this group. I'm

0:08:18 Speaker 6

constantly doing things. Selfless people say that all the time.

0:08:22 Speaker 11

just sometimes would love to say it for dibs on selfless.

0:08:22 Speaker 4

I

0:08:27 Speaker 6

He said dibs. Absolutely. He said, listen, I'm one of the best guys I know. Shotgun, selfless.

0:08:33 Speaker 11

That's how it works. Usually you say it first and then other people thinking about

0:08:37 Speaker 4

you. Yeah, absolutely. I'm just saying it felt very nice for me.

0:08:40 Speaker 6

Did she talk about us in the letter or was it only you? It was only about me. It was about us. What did it say? You are so selfish. Will

0:08:46 Speaker 11

read the letter? I can read a little bit of it. As fast as you can right now? It's three pages, so I won't read the whole thing. Whoa. Okay. It says, to the man behind the bar, all right job, kiddo.

0:08:46 Speaker 7

you

0:08:56 Speaker 4

Okay. Love your shirt, love your pants. Okay. Not your

0:09:01 Speaker 11

choice. All right job, kiddo. Love your shirt, love your pants. There's a couple people behind the bar, by the way.

0:09:10 Speaker 0

This just sounds like the song list on a My Chemical Romance

0:09:15 Speaker 11

album. Yeah.

0:09:16 Speaker 0

Yeah.

0:09:18 Speaker 11

It is encased in

0:09:20 Speaker 0

plastic, by the way. This letter. Wait.

0:09:24 Speaker 4

Is

0:09:24 Speaker 4

a... I like Gerard Wade just left behind one of his CDs for you. Well, every sentence does have a sort of number behind it. It's 03 colon 36,

0:09:24 Speaker 0

this

0:09:35 Speaker 0

02 colon 22. If it's not a three -page letter, it's the liner notes of a My Chemical Romance

0:09:40 Speaker 6

album. God damn. Next. Next. Next. So you've never gotten a tip. Someone just left an old CD

0:09:46 Speaker 11

at the bar. It is old, by the way. The case is scrunched.

0:09:52 Speaker 4

Oh, that's a scrunched

0:09:53 Speaker 6

Well, you know it's old because it's a CD case. Any CD case is old at this point.

0:09:53 Speaker 11

up case.

0:09:57 Speaker 4

Yeah, nobody's

0:09:58 Speaker 11

anymore.

0:09:58 Speaker 6

buying these CDs

0:09:59 Speaker 6

Well, Jesus. Well, unless our side business of CDs... Oh, yeah. New CDs.

0:10:06 Speaker 6

Well, we did. We did. Brand

0:10:06 Speaker 0

Brand new CDs.

0:10:09 Speaker 11

new CDs, folks. We did, yeah. We're selling them out of the back of the restaurant. We did get... Yeah, we're selling them out of the back. Brand new CDs, brand new DVDs, brand new...

0:10:18 Speaker 0

We got a 1989 teacher's version in there.

0:10:22 Speaker 11

We are re -recording Taylor Swift's re -recorded albums with none of the original shit. We make up our own songs. But, yeah, you are doing Goodbye the

0:10:33 Speaker 4

Bop. Thank you. I felt like

0:10:35 Speaker 11

it

0:10:35 Speaker 6

was tough. It was a tough time. You know, I obviously made a few mistakes, a few egregious errors. Well, I mean, the FBI came in to check the bar. They came in to check all the bottles,

0:10:46 Speaker 4

make sure everything was up to snuff. It used to be the alcohol beverage people, but now it's the FBI for some reason. Yes. They came in, they shone the flashlight up through all the bottles, see if there's any particles in there, bugs floating around. Yeah, they sort of sent me into the back. I didn't see any of that happen.

0:11:01 Speaker 0

One of the guys pulled me aside and he was like, hey, Hillary did have a lot of emails. And I was like, I always knew it. Trump was right.

0:11:09 Speaker 6

Right. I mean, not what we're here for, but thanks for the info.

0:11:13 Speaker 0

You know what I mean? They did kind of just keep sort of leaking truths. I was like, bad emails or what? He's like, she just emails

0:11:19 Speaker 11

lot back and forth. She had a lot of emails.

0:11:19 Speaker 6

a

0:11:21 Speaker 6

It's like, that wasn't the thing.

0:11:23 Speaker 0

And a lot of these sort of no subject line emails, you know what I mean? Where it's just body, but even the body doesn't have much to it. Yeah. It's like, well, there's no subject line. Maybe it's a really serious topic. And the body's just like, on for noon still. I was like,

0:11:36 Speaker 6

all right. On for noon for what? There's no info in here. Anyway, she emailed a

0:11:41 Speaker 0

lot. Todd Padre here. Look, this lifestyle is wrecking me.

0:11:51 Speaker 9

Yeah.

0:11:52 Speaker 0

Up till 2 a .m. at the restaurant. You got to decompress. Of course. You have to make the menu. I have to make the menu.

0:11:59 Speaker 6

Every night. You're wanting to do new menu daily. Todd has never been more back of house. Just lifestyle

0:12:05 Speaker 0

wise. Yeah. Part of the restaurant lifestyle is you're up late afterwards, just chopping it up with your fellow

0:12:12 Speaker 11

servers, your cooks. You did a DJ set last night.

0:12:15 Speaker 0

Yeah. After close. Yeah. Which nobody said we didn't need.

0:12:22 Speaker 11

We did not need. But you were like, I want people to be

0:12:25 Speaker 0

having money. Yeah. DJ TP was on the ones and twos.

0:12:30 Speaker 11

Yeah. It's mostly me accidentally hitting shuffle on my own.

0:12:36 Speaker 0

Yeah. The flow wasn't exactly great.

0:12:39 Speaker 4

Yeah. I think people were having a fine time.

0:12:42 Speaker 0

We walked some people on the voiceover reel for sure.

0:12:46 Speaker 4

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of your personal audio files

0:12:50 Speaker 0

seem to be in there. Todd Padre, ethnic voiceover reel.

0:12:54 Speaker 6

I will say none of those were admissible, but not all of them were bad. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. They weren't all bad. They're just, you're not allowed to do any of

0:13:03 Speaker 0

them. Yeah. But I got to say, I just, I don't know how I'm going to keep up with this. Well,

0:13:07 Speaker 6

again. You know, I appreciate bartender giving me my shift drinks after work. And you know

0:13:11 Speaker 3

what happens. One drink turns into two.

0:13:14 Speaker 1

Yeah. Turns into, let's see what the seagulls are up

0:13:16 Speaker 4

to. Turns into.

0:13:18 Speaker 0

The alarm's going off and I just got into bed. And

0:13:21 Speaker 4

it's like, time to make the donuts. Todd, I'll say this. I will say this. You did last week fire two of our employees and you have yet to even do a single interview to replace anybody. And a lot

0:13:33 Speaker 0

of people out there would probably.

0:13:35 Speaker 4

What's that?

0:13:36 Speaker 0

No

0:13:36 Speaker 4

one that wants to work

0:13:37 Speaker 0

anymore. Well, you haven't even taken resumes, Todd. And I've been sending in resumes. I've been putting out feelers trying to get people in here to replace Sean and Joe. But you just won't do it. And you're running this kitchen by yourself, not letting anybody else touch any of the

0:13:53 Speaker 6

ovens or stoves or anything. You're supposed to be having interviews back there. But all I'm seeing is a tattoo artist. You're getting inked instead.

0:14:00 Speaker 0

Yeah. I'm just living that kitchen lifestyle, man. It's almost like prison back there. And there's a camaraderie to getting inked. I got this pot roast on my right arm.

0:14:10 Speaker 6

It does look badass.

0:14:12 Speaker 5

It does say mom on it. It looks really

0:14:14 Speaker 0

cool. Very cool. Well, it looks like a pot roast, but it is what my mom looked like when they lowered her down. Right. Because obviously. When you forewent the embalming, you were like, I'm not paying for that. I'm not doing the embalming. I have a slow cooker.

0:14:29 Speaker 6

Why embalm when you can brine?

0:14:31 Speaker 0

Yeah. Right. I threw my mom in with it. It's a great recipe if you lose a loved one. Can of Dr. Pepper. Onion. Two quarts of chicken stock.

0:14:41 Speaker 6

Throw her in there eight hours on slow. Mom. Of course, mom.

0:14:45 Speaker 0

Don't forget mom. De -bond, de -skinned.

0:14:48 Speaker 6

The main ingredient, of course. But yeah, that made for a lovely service and a delicious luau. Thank you. Thank you.

0:14:57 Speaker 4

Which again, I don't know if you should be throwing luau. It's another thing that maybe we should.

0:15:02 Speaker 6

We got

0:15:02 Speaker 0

Oh yeah.

0:15:03 Speaker 6

letters. We got everything. We got everything under the sun from people who are mad at it. Yeah. Absolutely. Well, I will say it is nice to see you attack a persona. A new persona,

0:15:03 Speaker 4

emails. We got

0:15:14 Speaker 0

I would say. Yeah. Because I really feel, and I didn't ever want to say this to your face, but you seemed a little stuck in the bad acting thing.

0:15:24 Speaker 9

You seemed

0:15:25 Speaker 0

a little avoidant of the truth that you were never going to be an actor,

0:15:30 Speaker 6

never going to be a director. Your writing had been panned universally. It's just nice to see you in a new creative endeavor where you're really succeeding. by getting tattoos. Yeah.

0:15:41 Speaker 0

I disagree. I just disagree with the premise fully.

0:15:45 Speaker 4

But you have to look at the reality of life here, Todd. I mean, in a lot of ways, you are run down. Obviously, we can all see it. We all see that. But. In a lot of

0:15:53 Speaker 6

ways. Yeah. In a lot of

0:15:54 Speaker 4

ways,

0:15:54 Speaker 6

you're very run

0:15:55 Speaker 4

down. Physically by a car.

0:15:57 Speaker 6

Yeah. Physically, mentally, emotionally, you're run down.

0:15:59 Speaker 4

By a pack of wolves. But I'll say this. When those doors are open.

0:16:05 Speaker 6

Steamroller. You got hit by that

0:16:06 Speaker 4

steamroller. You've been run down and flattened. Flattened out. True,

0:16:09 Speaker 0

false. True. Sorry.

0:16:10 Speaker 6

True, false. True.

0:16:12 Speaker 8

True, false. True.

0:16:17 Speaker 6

That's a great new rhetorical device. Yes. But I think. Let's see. Is that true or false? It's

0:16:23 Speaker 11

true. Makes you seem really smart. Hmm. That could be true or false. It is true. Sorry, Howie.

0:16:31 Speaker 4

Go ahead. I was just going to say. It does

0:16:32 Speaker 11

feel like. All right, Howie. Howie boy. Agree,

0:16:37 Speaker 8

Agree Howie. This is Howie Do It. Eek, eek, eek, eek, eek, eek.

0:16:43 Speaker 0

Go for it, Howie.

0:16:44 Speaker 4

Howie.

0:16:45 Speaker 8

I was going to say. Shoot. You're run.

0:16:48 Speaker 4

You're run down. But I do think in a certain sense, it's nice to see you have something to throw yourself into that, like, isn't demoralizing in the way that your plays in the past have been. It feels like you're actually making progress. Like, you're actually. I would say this. Whereas most of the time I was, like, scared of what you were doing for you mentally. I'm kind of seeing this as, like, maybe a path

0:17:11 Speaker 0

for

0:17:11 Speaker 4

you.

0:17:13 Speaker 0

Well, you know, it's great to get some recognition early on. You know, Michelin came in, said my roast tasted like a tire. I got one tire.

0:17:21 Speaker 6

I think

0:17:22 Speaker 0

we called the wrong Michelin. I think that's all it is. I just think that's all it is. James Beard came in here and said, yep, there's a full

0:17:28 Speaker 6

beard in this food. Again, I think we called the wrong James Beard, but yes.

0:17:32 Speaker 0

We're on a

0:17:33 Speaker 4

Zagat's list, right?

0:17:34 Speaker 6

Zagat? How

0:17:35 Speaker 4

do you pronounce it? Well, unfortunately, I thought Zagat's was rating it. It was Sagat's list. Oh, no. We've been roasted.

0:17:41 Speaker 6

We've

0:17:42 Speaker 4

been roasted by Bob Zagat.

0:17:42 Speaker 6

Just like how after Roger Ebert passed, they still run RogerEbert .com and put film reviews. Right. And

0:17:48 Speaker 4

you

0:17:48 Speaker 1

read it and you go, is Ebert alive? And you go, oh, no, this is just somebody

0:17:50 Speaker 4

else. Mm -hmm. They're doing that with Sagat's where you still can get roasted by the king of the roast, Bob

0:17:56 Speaker 6

Sagat. Yes. Wow. I didn't realize

0:17:58 Speaker 0

that. Rest in peace. Rest in peace. It could be good publicity for us, so I'm not hating it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Negativity is the new positivity. Man, at Sagat's funeral, they were like, Todd bumps his head all the time. He never dies. Sagat bumped his head once and we lost the wrong guy who bumped his head.

0:18:14 Speaker 6

Right. That must have been tough

0:18:15 Speaker 11

for you. It was

0:18:16 Speaker 11

to hear. You were name -checked a lot. I get name -checked a

0:18:16 Speaker 1

tough for me

0:18:21 Speaker 6

lot

0:18:22 Speaker 11

at a lot

0:18:22 Speaker 0

of funerals. We wish it

0:18:24 Speaker 11

was Todd. Well, everybody, like in a word show, had pulled out the pre -written eulogy. I don't think it's healthy for everybody at every funeral to go, we wish this was Todd Padre in this

0:18:36 Speaker 6

cast. I wonder

0:18:36 Speaker 0

how I'm processing it. And usually everybody in the audience nods until they have a neck brace on, and then the funeral continues on. Yeah, now they do training for discussions about wishing I was dead

0:18:53 Speaker 6

teach people how to nod kind of with their whole body. Yeah.

0:18:53 Speaker 11

when I

0:18:57 Speaker 0

You have to nod from the hip and use your leg. Well, and these neck doctors, these funeral -chasing neck doctors, they're at all these funerals passing out neck braces because they know people are

0:19:09 Speaker 11

agreeing for them. All the billboards now that are up, that like, you nod, we hot rod over to you, or whatever

0:19:16 Speaker 5

the ride is. These are badass doctors. These

0:19:19 Speaker 11

badass doctors. Oh, those fucking

0:19:19 Speaker 6

are

0:19:22 Speaker 6

Model T's with the engine showing. These are not real doctors. They're in it for the lifestyle. Fire's out 20 feet off the side. They's hot rod. You nod, we

0:19:32 Speaker 11

hot

0:19:33 Speaker 6

rod. Tons of hair. Tons of hair below the ear. Nothing up top.

0:19:37 Speaker 0

They look

0:19:38 Speaker 6

like

0:19:38 Speaker 0

skeletons driving hot rods.

0:19:41 Speaker 6

flaming hair kind of running behind them.

0:19:41 Speaker 11

Just wearing

0:19:44 Speaker 0

They look like a T -shirt.

0:19:46 Speaker 11

They look like a T -shirt. They look just like a badass T -shirt. I'll tell you everything. You look like a T -shirt. New character. I'm back into acting. I'm awake. I like that character. Wow, that was

0:19:57 Speaker 6

good. Todd Padra for

0:19:59 Speaker 11

Lorne Michaels.

0:20:01 Speaker 0

Okay, will he return?

0:20:04 Speaker 6

What did they say? No? They just said no?

0:20:06 Speaker 0

It says fuck off. Oh, okay. Will he

0:20:09 Speaker 6

return? I think it was probably somebody doing a character though. So they said fuck off and you said will he return?

0:20:16 Speaker 0

They hung up, yeah.

0:20:18 Speaker 6

Okay, well hey, at least you're trying. You're asking the right questions.

0:20:20 Speaker 0

Man,

0:20:21 Speaker 6

I am tired. What do you do with this stuff? What do you do? I'm used to the theater life, obviously, up till 2 a .m. doing a play. But we sleep in in the morning in theaters. You know, you get Mondays off, which is kind of

0:20:32 Speaker 1

what restaurants like here.

0:20:34 Speaker 0

We do have to be up in the morning, going to the farmer's markets, talking to other chefs, buying new pots and pans and stuff like that. It's a

0:20:42 Speaker 4

24 -7 go, go, go lifestyle. We'll go ahead and say it. But I do think we can use a pan more than once. I do think

0:20:50 Speaker 0

we can. You got to buy new pots and pans.

0:20:53 Speaker 4

I'm not relitigating.

0:20:54 Speaker 6

What

0:20:54 Speaker 4

do

0:20:54 Speaker 6

you mean?

0:20:55 Speaker 4

True false? False.

0:20:58 Speaker 6

Whoa, that's a good point.

0:20:59 Speaker 4

Jesus. That's a really good point. This works. I don't like how fast things get shut down with this

0:21:04 Speaker 6

true false thing. But Howard, think about this. What if we, because you know we're cooking all kinds of stuff. We're a restaurant with a big menu. What if we cook fish in a pan? You're not saying we could just

0:21:13 Speaker 4

wash

0:21:14 Speaker 6

out fish. You do a pan for fish, a pan for every other meat.

0:21:18 Speaker 0

Yeah, we can't use the same pan for fish and oatmeal again.

0:21:22 Speaker 6

Sorry, what did you

0:21:23 Speaker 0

say for fish and oatmeal? Oatmeal again, yeah.

0:21:25 Speaker 4

Well, also, I don't think we should have fish and oatmeal on the same

0:21:28 Speaker 6

menu. I don't really even think we should be using a pan for oatmeal

0:21:31 Speaker 0

at all. Okay.

0:21:33 Speaker 6

Your fried oatmeal is not working. Which complaint can I even

0:21:35 Speaker 4

focus

0:21:35 Speaker 6

on? Your fried oatmeal is not working. It's not working. We'll get there. We'll get there. It's a new take on old slop. That's what we've kind of done with this restaurant. So we've taken peasant food and we've made it for everybody.

0:21:48 Speaker 1

You know

0:21:49 Speaker 6

what I mean?

0:21:50 Speaker 1

Like a collar of a

0:21:53 Speaker 6

pig. Well, peasant food wasn't always for everybody. Peasant food used to be for only the top of the top. It was

0:22:00 Speaker 0

just. Yes. Yes. And so now it's just like we're giving you all peasant food. Everything here is $30 plus on the menu, but we all dress in like Dickies and Carhartts. We make it look down to earth.

0:22:12 Speaker 6

When's the last time you had really, really good rice?

0:22:18 Speaker 0

Not always. You haven't always had that. And that's what we're bringing back. Good rice.

0:22:23 Speaker 6

Good rice.

0:22:25 Speaker 9

Good rice. Good rice. Good rice.

0:22:30 Speaker 0

That's a. I've been putting together a rice montage like in movies of me trying different races. And it's to that song.

0:22:37 Speaker 11

It's really good. It's really good. Hi, Bill Cravey here.

0:22:39 Speaker 8

Mondeby rice.

0:22:43 Speaker 8

montage.

0:22:43 Speaker 0

good

0:22:43 Speaker 11

It's

0:22:43 Speaker 6

a

0:22:44 Speaker 0

Bill Cravey here. One of the waiters. Well, the one. Well, the main waiter. Yeah. And I am really, really enjoying the life out there.

0:22:55 Speaker 11

It feels like you get to swim out into the sea of customers. And you really get to spend. You know, you're getting to talk to a lot of people every day. I'm really getting to use my personality. And it just. I'm kind of loving it.

0:23:11 Speaker 0

Now, what's your. And I know the answer to this. So it's a bit of a leading question. But I do want you to tell the

0:23:15 Speaker 11

audience. What's your thought on how much the waiters performance should be a part of the meal? Like is a good waiter someone who you constantly have to nod and laugh at their jokes and be like. Oh, yeah. You're so friendly. I think you do. I don't think people are going to enjoy being at a restaurant unless there's a lot of words exchanged.

0:23:40 Speaker 3

Not necessarily the order. A lot of words exchanged with a stranger that you're getting food from. I don't think it's about disappearing into the scenery of the restaurant. I think it is about being

0:23:52 Speaker 11

big, bold, loud, distracting.

0:23:56 Speaker 4

Well, and also I'll say you generally order an entree for yourself at every table, right? I do.

0:24:02 Speaker 11

They say, what do you like? And I'm like, well, it's actually this. And I'm eating it right now.

0:24:07 Speaker 6

Well, we don't want people to come in and have to eat alone. We want them to have company.

0:24:11 Speaker 11

Well, yeah. You go to dinner with your little hubby, your little wifey. Yeah. But you could be really tired of them. Sometimes you need to make a little space for the third. Yeah. I'm like, scoot over.

0:24:22 Speaker 6

Yeah. They're like, table for four. And I'm like, right this way for five. Well, and you've got so good at that that you bring your little booster seat to every table and just hook it up right to the end of

0:24:30 Speaker 11

the table. That little brown

0:24:31 Speaker 6

plastic seat that's dirty. It's got mashed potatoes on it. Typically, it's for babies.

0:24:37 Speaker 11

It attaches right to the end of the table. It's got a

0:24:39 Speaker 6

little nylon seat belt on it. That thing's strapped me

0:24:42 Speaker 0

at all times. Our bussers have to clean up specifically after you,

0:24:45 Speaker 11

after every meal. It's like a huge, rice everywhere, crayon all over the table. Yeah. I mean, you can see it's clearly me because my body shape is left and everything

0:24:54 Speaker 0

around is mashed potatoes, crumbs,

0:24:56 Speaker 4

full beans. But Sam, we already kind of checked in with you with the stink. The stink's been the big thing for the week for

0:25:02 Speaker 6

you, huh? The stink's been the big thing. I've really been trying to work on it. And I think it's one of those things in life you might have to just accept. You know,

0:25:10 Speaker 4

I've

0:25:10 Speaker 0

been doing the peroxide with the bleach. I've been doing the freaking all of it. I've just been

0:25:14 Speaker 11

doing everything. I've been doing baking soda and vinegar. I've been doing just dirt. Like when you're camping and you clean your pots with just dirt. Dirt. Yeah.

0:25:24 Speaker 6

You know? And I've tried to stop, drop, and roll. Didn't work. Just made my clothes stink. You had to go home and shower.

0:25:30 Speaker 0

Right. You know?

0:25:31 Speaker 0

you just tried any kind of catchphrase.

0:25:31 Speaker 6

So

0:25:33 Speaker 6

Anything you've ever heard. Anything that is a tool, basically. Anything that I've heard of. You tried. I mean, I went to

0:25:40 Speaker 4

that. Well, you tried if the glove don't fit, you must acquit. Yeah. Oh, my God. Bought a bunch of tiny

0:25:44 Speaker 0

clubs and you were like, no, I'm still guilty of stink.

0:25:47 Speaker 6

Yeah. Yeah. I tried.

0:25:49 Speaker 0

You gave me the Heimlich? I gave it the Heimlich.

0:25:52 Speaker 6

I tried cross multiplication. I

0:25:55 Speaker 0

tried just anything that I could think of. Literally anything on earth that's a thing. Literally anything.

0:26:01 Speaker 4

You tried righty -tighty, lefty

0:26:03 Speaker 0

-loose.

0:26:03 Speaker 6

I tried righty -tighty, lefty -loose.

0:26:05 Speaker 0

You tried to cut for time.

0:26:09 Speaker 6

I tried.

0:26:10 Speaker 0

I tried to cut it for time. Anything that is a thing,

0:26:12 Speaker 6

you tried it. Yeah. I know. Infinite. An infinite amount of options. I'm hearing it now and I'm going, okay, don't just try catchphrases. At least use them for cleaning.

0:26:21 Speaker 0

You know what I mean? Right. Once it's on, then it's gone. Oxi -Clean. Haven't tried that yet. Well, that would be

0:26:27 Speaker 11

interesting.

0:26:28 Speaker 6

Have we tried

0:26:29 Speaker 11

calling the city and not canceling the garbage pickup because it's too expensive? Have we tried that? I just don't know if that's a thing, you know?

0:26:41 Speaker 6

Yeah. Right. They do typically come once a week, dump the dumpster.

0:26:45 Speaker 4

Yeah. If you pay them, but we are really, we're in. I also, yeah. I saw there's an upgrade package that you can also get your plumbing connected to city sewer for a

0:26:58 Speaker 6

higher premium. They do want you on the grid. Yeah. Which feels like a rapid. I am not going to be on the plumbing

0:27:05 Speaker 4

grid. Yeah, we can't be on the plumbing grid. Are you kidding me? I don't

0:27:08 Speaker 0

want people catching us on the plumbing grid. You know they can find out what goes in by what comes out.

0:27:13 Speaker 11

You know they can look in your doo -doo and know what you're up to. These big companies, it's crazy.

0:27:22 Speaker 3

give them our location

0:27:22 Speaker 5

We

0:27:24 Speaker 11

by shitting into a pipe and then our shit goes

0:27:28 Speaker 6

right to them. It's insane. And all they have to do is track it back and there's your asshole. And they find you. I can't believe we do it. Can you believe that we all just do that in American society?

0:27:40 Speaker 11

Hey,

0:27:40 Speaker 0

Apple. Not me. Back off is what I say with my phone. Yeah. But I'm like, hey, Kohler, you don't need to know my toilet story. Do you think.

0:27:50 Speaker 6

Every time you poop, it uploads to a story. Every time. Every time.

0:27:58 Speaker 11

It's just like social media. I can't. And we're not paranoid.

0:28:03 Speaker 6

No. We're not paranoid. We're just not shitting into a pipe that goes straight to the man.

0:28:07 Speaker 11

Straight to him? What are we,

0:28:09 Speaker 4

nuts? I can't believe anybody who's on the plumbing grid is insane.

0:28:15 Speaker 6

Well, that's. Yeah. And it's something we haven't really discussed because I think we just assumed everybody knew this about us. Yeah. I mean, after Snowden?

0:28:23 Speaker 6

After Snowden, you're going to stay on

0:28:23 Speaker 4

Yeah.

0:28:25 Speaker 4

the plumbing grid? And that's everything at this restaurant. We kind of just assumed people knew it. I don't think we talked about this as one of the selling points of the restaurant is how off the grid we are.

0:28:33 Speaker 0

Oh, fully. No one will know you came here. We've

0:28:35 Speaker 4

been having a lot of,

0:28:37 Speaker 0

I'll say characters and suspects coming in here.

0:28:40 Speaker 11

And staying for a long time. Oh, yeah. Yeah. A lot of interesting people. It is a, yeah.

0:28:46 Speaker 0

It is a place where you can dry out. You can. Yes. You can do. We got you.

0:28:55 Speaker 6

You're

0:28:56 Speaker 11

untraceable here. Right. When you walk in, right on the wall to the right, there's a bunch of masks hanging on nails. Yeah.

0:29:02 Speaker 5

You grab a mask. They fit perfectly to your face all the way

0:29:05 Speaker 3

back around

0:29:06 Speaker 5

the top. They're not some of these cheap masks that only go to the hairline.

0:29:10 Speaker 3

Yes. They go, they go across the top and to the

0:29:14 Speaker 11

back. All across the top, man.

0:29:15 Speaker 6

And yeah, we, you can,

0:29:17 Speaker 11

we just installed, you can take a piss here and never be traced. It's a PPN and we're on a PPN network. We're on a PPN. People will be, people, you piss, you know, here in America and people, the government will be like, oh, this piss looks like it came in from Argentina. Yeah. Now that's safety.

0:29:36 Speaker 0

That's safety.

0:29:37 Speaker 11

Yes. We're very, we're, we want to make sure people feel comfortable.

0:29:41 Speaker 0

Yeah. And cause that's when you get the big client. Oh yeah. We got some whales in here.

0:29:46 Speaker 3

Frazier, Brendan.

0:29:53 Speaker 0

Well,

0:29:54 Speaker 11

breaking news. Mr. F. We should call him Mr. F.

0:29:54 Speaker 4

we're in

0:29:58 Speaker 0

Mr. F

0:29:59 Speaker 11

coming in in full costume.

0:30:01 Speaker 0

Yeah. We, we, we, we won't out everybody that's come in because we are off the grid, but Mr.! F. F. F. F.

0:30:09 Speaker 6

F.! And wheezing the

0:30:32 Speaker 0

juice works for both characters. Yeah. The whale wheezes the juice as much as it's seen. Oh man, wheezes the juice. I mean, read, read Sam's review of the movie. Wheezing the juice part two, you

0:30:44 Speaker 6

called it. Yeah. Well, I mean, that's what I took from the film.

0:30:47 Speaker 6

took from the film. I will say this about Mr. F.

0:30:47 Speaker 0

Yeah. That's what I

0:30:51 Speaker 0

who are we talking

0:30:53 Speaker 6

about we love you we're moved by you your performances are great

0:30:57 Speaker 0

everything makes you cry

0:30:59 Speaker 8

ordering not ordering machos you're on the verge of tears a little weepy see

0:31:05 Speaker 0

you have so much to process

0:31:07 Speaker 8

beautiful soul

0:31:08 Speaker 6

uh you're a beautiful soul but sometimes it's just nachos mr f todd we know this about you you really can't stand to see a man get emotional yeah we know who else you've had a

0:31:23 Speaker 11

problem with weeping

0:31:26 Speaker 6

we don't need to

0:31:27 Speaker 11

bring you really

0:31:27 Speaker 0

have a problem with yourself crying in any play where you're supposed to well yeah that's i could never believe that my male character would cry in a

0:31:36 Speaker 11

like what what am i playing

0:31:36 Speaker 11

plan

0:31:36 Speaker 9

right

0:31:38 Speaker 0

you know how like vin diesel and uh uh dwayne uh dwayne um

0:31:43 Speaker 1

johnson uh reed uh

0:31:45 Speaker 0

johnson you're right

0:31:47 Speaker 1

the rock johnson um you know how neither of them want to lose in a fight in there right yeah yeah fight because it's unmanly to lose in a fight it's totally also never seen him cry in a movie no because they are men

0:32:00 Speaker 11

wow that's a really right

0:32:02 Speaker 0

we've got a lot of illuminati

0:32:04 Speaker 11

here they are here coming in in their masks skull and bones um

0:32:07 Speaker 0

but

0:32:09 Speaker 6

i think what do you guys think

0:32:11 Speaker 0

uh because we're talking about the restaurant a

0:32:15 Speaker 0

that was a mask gonzo

0:32:15 Speaker 6

lot wait sorry

0:32:19 Speaker 6

i thought i

0:32:20 Speaker 0

thought you thought that was a real guy i thought some of the street came in the other day was that not oh that wasn't sess

0:32:26 Speaker 6

came in yeah this was here okay

0:32:30 Speaker 0

oh sess gets back booth when sess comes in okay because i thought i saw gonzo i thought i saw big bird thought i saw snuff

0:32:38 Speaker 4

is gonzo sess or mup

0:32:40 Speaker 6

i'm i thought they're all kind of the

0:32:43 Speaker 4

same mup and sess are are same are

0:32:45 Speaker 6

they the same world some mup live on

0:32:47 Speaker 4

sess yes is that true i think all of sess is mup but all of mup is not

0:32:52 Speaker 6

sess all of mup live on hand of hens

0:32:56 Speaker 4

is mup and sess hens mup and sess

0:33:01 Speaker 11

are both hens who's property of hens property of hens who's frog frog is mup frog is clearly mup has bird been on says frog has never been on set but has bird been on mup bird no bird has not been on mup

0:33:18 Speaker 0

i think mup and sess might have crossed over and follow that bird oh uh

0:33:23 Speaker 4

now what about loon

0:33:25 Speaker 0

loon well loon is worn yes

0:33:29 Speaker 11

loon is worn yeah which is completely unrelated to mup and sess it

0:33:33 Speaker 4

does is there mup to sess is there a loon to

0:33:39 Speaker 11

if we're doing sat mup to sess loon to

0:33:44 Speaker 0

uh heathcliff mup is to sess

0:33:50 Speaker 11

as loon is to heathcliff

0:33:52 Speaker 0

true or false true

0:33:55 Speaker 6

true

0:33:57 Speaker 0

next

0:33:57 Speaker 11

god god is getting smart every

0:34:00 Speaker 6

time did you guys take the sat's this week we had to do that

0:34:02 Speaker 11

we had

0:34:04 Speaker 0

to do that that was tough

0:34:05 Speaker 11

especially with such a hot proctor this is such a tough time of

0:34:11 Speaker 6

year up front with a

0:34:11 Speaker 9

year every

0:34:13 Speaker 11

pencil in its beak we were a

0:34:16 Speaker 6

va va vooom and la la loo wow and you know what i don't i don't know about you guys but what's your favorite part of the seagull i love

0:34:23 Speaker 11

big

0:34:23 Speaker 6

chest damn did i beat you do it no i gotta say i knew that was yours

0:34:29 Speaker 3

okay i am a chest man he's always

0:34:31 Speaker 0

been a little red spot on beak

0:34:33 Speaker 6

little red

0:34:35 Speaker 8

spot on

0:34:36 Speaker 0

the beak this man had the most you are you're

0:34:38 Speaker 11

noticing like a little small thing

0:34:40 Speaker 6

i know i guess i like dimple

0:34:42 Speaker 11

when now i feel bad because i just said obviously the most sexual part of the bird the big

0:34:47 Speaker 6

no it's the number one obvious

0:34:49 Speaker 0

it's the number one

0:34:50 Speaker 11

obvious it's good to admit who you are because if you if you tamp that stuff down it's going to come out another way so

0:34:57 Speaker 11

you're right just be honest about your nasty you're right yeah

0:34:57 Speaker 6

it's

0:35:00 Speaker 6

you'll see some guys that like a falcon show totally enjoying it

0:35:03 Speaker 11

in the wrong way

0:35:04 Speaker 6

because they've been repressing

0:35:05 Speaker 11

right they're they're they're being like i love beak i love feather it's like come on sit up it get the chest section we're all over here

0:35:16 Speaker 9

come on man beating our chest

0:35:18 Speaker 11

whoa whoa

0:35:19 Speaker 6

whoa i just respect falcon's voice yeah right yeah right you're right you're right i watch falcon for the articles

0:35:26 Speaker 0

shut up it's embarrassing i can't control it i'm a talon guy um i'm on wiki talons embarrassing

0:35:35 Speaker 6

no i'm on wiki talons all day hunched over the hunched over is a little

0:35:40 Speaker 0

embarrassing yeah you

0:35:41 Speaker 6

don't have to say that okay

0:35:42 Speaker 9

that's fine again everybody is into everything or something like that

0:35:46 Speaker 11

yeah that's the way i get around my weird proclivities oh yeah

0:35:49 Speaker 0

yeah but did y 'all make good on the sats

0:35:51 Speaker 11

um i uh how did you make i didn't want to tell you guys this but uh

0:35:57 Speaker 6

how did

0:35:58 Speaker 11

you make i

0:35:59 Speaker 6

got a zero

0:36:01 Speaker 11

five i spelled my name okay let's let's all say what we made on the sat on three he made a

0:36:08 Speaker 6

zero one two three zero

0:36:11 Speaker 3

47 todd mr

0:36:16 Speaker 11

smart mr

0:36:17 Speaker 11

mr smart he must have got at least to yeah

0:36:17 Speaker 8

smart

0:36:20 Speaker 6

47 yeah you're missing i don't want

0:36:23 Speaker 0

to brag i don't like to talk about

0:36:24 Speaker 11

this stuff and

0:36:25 Speaker 0

guys that's out of 2400 don't

0:36:27 Speaker 11

forget they've raised right they've raised it yeah

0:36:29 Speaker 0

40 i wrote a pretty long essay i thought i would at least get one point

0:36:34 Speaker 6

yeah right but it was just a complaint about how the test was hard and

0:36:37 Speaker 11

long yeah i was like

0:36:38 Speaker 0

this shit's too hard uh that's my thesis i will go into many details all the questions are hard i don't know any of them uh we

0:36:47 Speaker 6

have the internet now i don't need to know any

0:36:48 Speaker 11

of this yeah

0:36:49 Speaker 6

why am i taking this thing unfortunately that you wrote that into the multiple choice portion and you wrote in a bunch of choices on the written

0:36:57 Speaker 11

portion yes and i think i did obviously you're supposed to use a number pencil i took a number two pencil

0:37:05 Speaker 6

and it sliced right into the toilet no splash you plugged your nose and it sliced it it went right into the toilet so well you didn't even have to flush you shot so hard down well because you did it off a seven meter platform you went off i was up on a centimeter plat i said seven meter but

0:37:40 Speaker 9

centimeter is better you were all

0:37:44 Speaker 6

up on a centimeter

0:37:49 Speaker 9

i couldn't believe you

0:37:50 Speaker 6

got all the way up there i was so scared

0:37:53 Speaker 9

i

0:37:55 Speaker 6

know and you were so professional you were up there with your toes right on the edge right on the edge hanging way off heels hanging

0:38:02 Speaker 11

off in a speedo i took a number two pencil straight to china

0:38:10 Speaker 4

uh well my my my test experience wasn't at all as interesting as that i

0:38:16 Speaker 0

just i i spilled my juice

0:38:20 Speaker 4

you spilled your god when the kid

0:38:22 Speaker 6

spills his juice in class and i i i'm sure we've talked about this but howard walks around with a huge stanley of juice it's a

0:38:33 Speaker 9

it's a 64 ounce stanley does fit in your cup holder

0:38:38 Speaker 9

but then the top is completely

0:38:38 Speaker 4

yeah

0:38:39 Speaker 4

bulbing yes

0:38:40 Speaker 0

well

0:38:41 Speaker 6

juice every day same juice

0:38:42 Speaker 4

every day i do because the doctor said i'm uh on the line but i'm on the line i might get scurvy if i don't go

0:38:49 Speaker 11

right a little heavier on the vitamin c so i

0:38:52 Speaker 11

start with 180 grams of sugar every morning

0:38:52 Speaker 6

so you

0:38:55 Speaker 4

and your other

0:38:56 Speaker 0

doctor said you're right on the edge of diabetes so you're kind of going back and forth i'm paying them against each

0:39:00 Speaker 6

other yeah i i'd love to see a man with a little scurvy beaties you're definitely yeah i'll say don't get rid of everything because you're

0:39:11 Speaker 4

definitely curvy you don't want to lose the curves you just want to lose the scurvy yes yes i'll lose this uh but no i spilled my juice all over my test and had to throw it away

0:39:22 Speaker 6

um and didn't have time to complete another one at the end right that must have been a sticky mess

0:39:27 Speaker 4

it was

0:39:28 Speaker 6

you

0:39:29 Speaker 11

know

0:39:29 Speaker 6

when you used juice for a week where

0:39:32 Speaker 4

you mess was your shoes like

0:39:34 Speaker 11

for the rest of the day

0:39:37 Speaker 0

yeah

0:39:37 Speaker 11

it was the good news is uh i saw on what's that tiktok that's like good vibes only or whatever it's all

0:39:43 Speaker 1

nice things

0:39:44 Speaker 11

yeah

0:39:45 Speaker 1

dodo but for humans and it was like after finding out someone spilled a juice and couldn't do their sats geez tropicana got this guy a whole new juice yeah

0:39:55 Speaker 5

how was

0:39:56 Speaker 4

that

0:39:56 Speaker 5

video of like a white guy in a collared shirt like a polo

0:40:00 Speaker 11

coming up yeah and being like

0:40:01 Speaker 0

excuse me

0:40:02 Speaker 4

just gave me another juice

0:40:02 Speaker 11

he

0:40:03 Speaker 11

yeah and you for a while you're like what do you mean you're not charging me for this new juice

0:40:07 Speaker 4

yeah i walked away from it

0:40:09 Speaker 6

you i thought it was a scam yeah you he had to run you down that was a that was a nice one i will say i'm a little tired of these helpful tropicana people it's like hey i

0:40:09 Speaker 6

yeah i

0:40:09 Speaker 4

was

0:40:18 Speaker 11

need a new job i need a new car i don't just need a juice yeah they were like we brought you a straw with a little

0:40:25 Speaker 6

red line

0:40:25 Speaker 0

going

0:40:26 Speaker 6

around it

0:40:26 Speaker 0

and i was like i don't need that right here at helpful tropicana we're giving you a little option for five more dollars to go with your chick -fil -a breakfast uh mcdonald's breakfast juice company

0:40:39 Speaker 6

never mind juice company

0:40:41 Speaker 4

uh oh shit guys we were supposed to be open 10 minutes ago what we were

0:40:48 Speaker 6

what time is it

0:40:49 Speaker 4

all right or the valet is set up down there uh i think everything's good to go but we're

0:40:53 Speaker 6

dumpsters in place

0:40:55 Speaker 4

yeah did you give the valet the dumpster skis

0:40:57 Speaker 6

i did i

0:40:58 Speaker 4

did we're good we're good well i'm excited about what we're trying on this episode yeah it's exciting we're gonna uh we're actually gonna lob you up bill

0:41:06 Speaker 0

because you're gonna work a full shift we're gonna live bill up so people can see what it's like to be on the floor the thing is you always know who's worked in food service and who hasn't

0:41:14 Speaker 4

and uh if you haven't you can listen to this and actually get a window into what the experience is like and maybe you'll empathize with people who have worked in the service

0:41:22 Speaker 6

industry because if you haven't worked in the service industry no offense you don't get it

0:41:27 Speaker 4

you've been to a restaurant we've all been to a restaurant but you don't get what it's like to be on the other side

0:41:27 Speaker 0

you don't like

0:41:33 Speaker 6

yeah true or false yeah true true exactly but yeah we're gonna we're gonna throw

0:41:37 Speaker 0

a throw a lav on bill and he's gonna head out there onto the floor hopefully people aren't pissed i hope people haven't been waiting too long laves

0:41:42 Speaker 4

are

0:41:43 Speaker 11

little microphones that are pinned to your shirt so you can hear me walking around the restaurant going back into the kitchen getting orders

0:41:53 Speaker 0

taking it all it'll be a sure for a

0:41:55 Speaker 11

lavalier microphone

0:41:56 Speaker 6

lavalier yeah and a lavalier is of course somebody who avoided a big volcanic eruption

0:42:03 Speaker 11

that's right with a sword exactly exactly they fended off lava with a sword and they named a microphone

0:42:14 Speaker 6

it's for

0:42:15 Speaker 11

safety you don't have to have a big string which would of course get uh you know melted in the lava

0:42:21 Speaker 4

no but yeah so stick around for that it's gonna be a really exciting i'm excited to hear it honestly because i don't ever get to see uh what goes on in one of y 'all's lives out there when the shifts

0:42:30 Speaker 11

yeah we're kind of separated so this is gonna be

0:42:32 Speaker 4

nice awesome well yeah we'll be right back

0:42:34 Speaker 11

hello uh welcome to meadle juices is this our first time here or have do we have some return customers

0:42:44 Speaker 1

first time

0:42:45 Speaker 6

first time

0:42:46 Speaker 1

um first time with these two

0:42:50 Speaker 11

okay so you have been here before welcome back

0:42:53 Speaker 1

i was here yesterday i just it felt oh i

0:42:56 Speaker 11

was off yesterday so i didn't see you but welcome back

0:43:01 Speaker 1

thank

0:43:01 Speaker 11

you um well a little bit about meadle juices uh we are our family style so just want to get that uh out of the way up top

0:43:10 Speaker 10

you know the plates are meant to share

0:43:15 Speaker 11

i heard a little bit about

0:43:17 Speaker 6

meadle juices is this our first time with this is our first time with this that's good that's really

0:43:20 Speaker 11

good we're um just to let you know we're not a family but okay love to share yes okay interesting i uh so you guys are friends that that share things

0:43:33 Speaker 0

that's great say that

0:43:35 Speaker 11

we're friends he's with us

0:43:37 Speaker 4

yeah

0:43:38 Speaker 11

okay awesome well listen i'm sure i'll get to know you guys a little bit more we'll find out what exactly the relationship is here

0:43:47 Speaker 6

throughout the meal good real quick

0:43:51 Speaker 11

yes it is good it is good this is fun i'm having a good time with you guys so yeah the plates are meant to be shared if we have three people which i'm assuming

0:44:01 Speaker 6

i'm so glad we're pleasing the server

0:44:06 Speaker 0

honey it's all i want

0:44:07 Speaker 11

good um were you whispering to me a second ago wanting to say

0:44:12 Speaker 0

something no big

0:44:13 Speaker 11

it okay well um uh it is family style like i've covered i think three people of five dishes would be perfect thanks for the verbal second time uh and uh so you have five if you're really hungry i might would do six

0:44:13 Speaker 10

deal don't worry about

0:44:29 Speaker 2

might would do

0:44:29 Speaker 10

six buddy

0:44:29 Speaker 1

i

0:44:30 Speaker 11

hey these two really wear me out are

0:44:35 Speaker 1

okay big smiles from the other two they seem okay is that okay they just really wear me out man

0:44:35 Speaker 10

you

0:44:42 Speaker 4

listen

0:44:42 Speaker 11

i'm just saying if

0:44:43 Speaker 6

you want to leave

0:44:44 Speaker 1

no no no i don't want to

0:44:46 Speaker 1

looking getting meatle juices feast is that good

0:44:46 Speaker 6

i'm

0:44:53 Speaker 6

well yes

0:44:54 Speaker 9

because it's an appetizer but it has a lot of items could we share that the two of us the two of you sharing meatle juices feast

0:45:02 Speaker 11

is meatle juices

0:45:04 Speaker 0

feast for two or more i think meatle juices feast is probably for four people you know it's a great it's a

0:45:10 Speaker 4

tiered would you have some of meatle juices feast with us i'd eat a little bit of

0:45:15 Speaker 11

meat it's tall it's a tiered it's wedding cake style um it is thank god yes thank god yes i like that concept too uh wedding cake uh a tiered but yeah so you're gonna have some potato pockets on top

0:45:34 Speaker 9

uh with a little chutney mango chutney dipping sauce in the center you're gonna have mushroom tartines

0:45:40 Speaker 11

everything is so interesting i love it yes

0:45:46 Speaker 9

absolutely and then on the bottom we're doing crab cakes tonight oh yeah

0:45:51 Speaker 11

so it is a three

0:45:52 Speaker 6

tiered three item tower

0:45:56 Speaker 9

i hate to do this mushroom

0:46:00 Speaker 6

tartines so there's

0:46:07 Speaker 9

no

0:46:07 Speaker 6

meat

0:46:08 Speaker 9

well

0:46:09 Speaker 11

crab oh crab's

0:46:11 Speaker 9

cute

0:46:12 Speaker 11

honey but it is imitation crab so there's no meat in meatle juices feast um meatless

0:46:18 Speaker 0

the feast

0:46:18 Speaker 11

is

0:46:19 Speaker 0

meatless

0:46:19 Speaker 11

meatle juices feast is

0:46:20 Speaker 0

meatless okay we'll do um i think we'll do three

0:46:25 Speaker 11

meatless meatless

0:46:26 Speaker 3

feasts

0:46:27 Speaker 11

why don't

0:46:29 Speaker 0

we start with drinks i will get

0:46:32 Speaker 11

you know what i don't know why i said let's start with drink you want three meatle juices feast

0:46:36 Speaker 0

whatever the preferred way to order is what

0:46:38 Speaker 11

we'll do i did say it would feed four but you want three one for each of you

0:46:42 Speaker 0

so that would feed 12

0:46:44 Speaker 11

yes

0:46:45 Speaker 0

yeah we could take some home

0:46:48 Speaker 11

you know what bring

0:46:49 Speaker 6

a

0:46:50 Speaker 11

box bring

0:46:51 Speaker 11

with the feast okay yeah at the end of the dinner whatever's left over i'll bring you guys boxes

0:46:51 Speaker 6

a box bring a box

0:46:56 Speaker 0

but why don't we start with drinks

0:47:00 Speaker 11

why don't we start with drinks uh

0:47:02 Speaker 7

do you guys want still or sparkling to

0:47:06 Speaker 6

start kill me i'll take

0:47:09 Speaker 11

still okay okay still uh still for the table kill

0:47:14 Speaker 7

me

0:47:15 Speaker 11

i am really worried about you i i i think are you in trouble

0:47:21 Speaker 0

no i'm not i'm not in trouble just please kill me he's just being dramatic because we won't let him play his video games

0:47:28 Speaker 11

okay so that's a hint into who this is you two are together and you're with them so

0:47:35 Speaker 0

we're gonna get this figured out this is your son who you won't let play video games i'm sorry is the sparkling water is that on um the machine the 99 machine

0:47:46 Speaker 11

uh soda stream uh soda stream no soda stream is it a vion it's pellegrino

0:47:51 Speaker 0

oh we'll just take still

0:47:54 Speaker 11

water okay okay so you were looking for maybe soda stream but

0:47:57 Speaker 0

you want still

0:47:58 Speaker 6

okay um so we'll do still for the table two stills and a dirty

0:48:01 Speaker 11

and when you say dirty what do you mean by that

0:48:05 Speaker 6

a dirty water you know how it's you know a dirty martini how they put olive juice in it

0:48:09 Speaker 11

oh so you wanted olive i

0:48:10 Speaker 6

don't no this is not for me this is for him so a dirty water is like a dirty martini where they put an olive juice but you use a puddle water

0:48:19 Speaker 0

instead of onion like a little james bond

0:48:24 Speaker 11

do you want dirty water

0:48:26 Speaker 0

excuse me

0:48:27 Speaker 0

me server excuse me server hey

0:48:27 Speaker 11

excuse

0:48:30 Speaker 11

yes excuse me sorry i never flag a server down but oh you're from table four yeah i'm on a date over

0:48:37 Speaker 3

there yes yes i'm so sorry

0:48:39 Speaker 8

no we're not

0:48:42 Speaker 11

no we're not listen um you're i don't want to go into this really with you but i do think it could really help um at the at the beginning when i came over to your table i said welcome to meatle juices um and you're the person you're sitting across from said hi we're co -workers and we're getting a quick meal tonight to help our relationship at work

0:49:13 Speaker 0

it's unclear where we're going i showed up with the rose between my teeth um on the pickup and your teeth

0:49:20 Speaker 9

are in very good shape so there wasn't much room for the stalk

0:49:24 Speaker 11

and you're bleeding your gums are bleeding right the things we do for love huh brother uh but don't touch my shoulder

0:49:32 Speaker 0

okay listen what do you need because i have to get these people um i think just something to loosen us up the conversation is

0:49:39 Speaker 11

very work -based right now well you've already ordered four drinks and i have been told to shut you off by the bar

0:49:45 Speaker 7

shut you off juices feast

0:49:46 Speaker 11

yes okay another person asking from another table for meal juices feast

0:49:53 Speaker 8

could you give okay i don't want me to juice feast to catch fire because that's really going to overwhelm the

0:49:59 Speaker 4

kids i'll have what they're having

0:50:01 Speaker 11

damn it okay oh

0:50:03 Speaker 8

oh yeah

0:50:05 Speaker 11

oh

0:50:06 Speaker 0

oh meadle juice oh yeah wow just like that 80s movie uh meadle juice

0:50:18 Speaker 8

meadle juice meadle juice no

0:50:22 Speaker 11

you've got to go back in the portal go okay thank god he takes direction very respectful of direction sir i will get you another uh martini if you'll just go back to your table guys i'm going to get your three meadle juices feast started i'm going to bring still dirty water for

0:50:46 Speaker 0

you i'm not cutting your head off um and i'm gonna get more meadle juices feast started i'll try to make it to every table excuse me excuse me hi um the restroom is out of uh toilet paper um so if you just wouldn't mind refilling

0:51:00 Speaker 11

that i'm so sorry it's all right it's fine for me do you need some right now your pants are down at your ankles honey honey i don't know what i'm supposed to do if i haven't wiped it it would be too dirty

0:51:15 Speaker 0

to dad you stood up and squeezed

0:51:17 Speaker 6

them

0:51:17 Speaker 0

you

0:51:17 Speaker 4

stood up and put the cheeks together so you're fucked no matter what dad you're embarrassing me

0:51:21 Speaker 6

honey you're screaming you've got to ask for this more quietly

0:51:25 Speaker 0

you're embarrassing yourselves now

0:51:27 Speaker 6

your wife's out here with

0:51:29 Speaker 6

pants okay okay

0:51:29 Speaker 0

her

0:51:32 Speaker 11

i'm just gonna cut to the quick you guys are out of

0:51:35 Speaker 6

tp both restaurants

0:51:36 Speaker 11

do you guys mind if i use some of these napkins here to give them thank you for covering i will say it's peeking out of both sides of the hand just the hair

0:51:51 Speaker 0

you

0:51:51 Speaker 8

don't want hair napkins look at how humiliating this is for my wife and myself well if you would cover that would help sir obviously it doesn't work my wife's my hands are smaller than

0:52:02 Speaker 11

my wife's and my

0:52:03 Speaker 8

no cover

0:52:04 Speaker 0

yours

0:52:05 Speaker 8

can you

0:52:06 Speaker 0

guys that's what he's saying

0:52:07 Speaker 8

hey i'm really sure smaller

0:52:08 Speaker 0

than

0:52:09 Speaker 8

mine i feel like it's bigger we're adam and eve before god without a tp to stand on

0:52:14 Speaker 4

mom dad chill out just go go to like go across the street to like cvs or something i'm so sorry for

0:52:18 Speaker 11

me i'm gonna leave you i'm

0:52:20 Speaker 6

leaving a review don't leave with your pants at your ankles finish your finish your feast

0:52:26 Speaker 11

ah okay they walked all right guys i'll be right with your meatle juices feast okay and i'm gonna get meatle juices feast started for everyone we are running low on 13 bill bill yes yes hey uh kid i just got the order you put in a order for a dirty water yes

0:52:44 Speaker 4

yeah we're uh the puddle dried up

0:52:46 Speaker 11

howard

0:52:47 Speaker 4

puddle dried up

0:52:49 Speaker 11

yesterday i told you to refill the puddle last night

0:52:51 Speaker 4

i know and i did but we've just we've said we've sold too many dirty waters listen i'm gonna dump some water

0:52:56 Speaker 11

on the floor behind the bar drowning out there chill out i'm already trying to slow down meatle juices feast

0:53:01 Speaker 4

i know why don't we just have enough meatle juices feast is really working it's okay i'm running the faucet it's gonna overflow the sink it's gonna go on the floor behind the bar and the little rubber mat with all the little circles in it

0:53:11 Speaker 11

why not just go fill up the puddle instead of waiting for it to like make its way down the

0:53:15 Speaker 4

hill because this is my proprietary recipe

0:53:17 Speaker 11

man i'm gonna make a mark for myself with my own recipe on dirty water okay can you make something that's similar and i'll offer them that maybe like uh uh an old pool a dried up pool

0:53:30 Speaker 6

water excuse me guys sorry hey sorry to walk straight up to the bar

0:53:34 Speaker 11

it's okay

0:53:34 Speaker 6

that last drink you gave me was really really good the dirty water was nice awesome

0:53:39 Speaker 4

great but i saw on your menu you have a filthy tea

0:53:42 Speaker 6

yes could i get a filthy tea

0:53:44 Speaker 4

yes yeah yeah it's gonna take me about 55 minutes to brew it

0:53:47 Speaker 6

what yeah so it's a it's a long process so basically we take uh

0:53:51 Speaker 11

you have to do a creep steep yeah

0:53:52 Speaker 6

well if it just if it's just the dirty water i'm willing to wait this creep

0:53:58 Speaker 4

so we do we take uh just so you know this is the process we take one of the dirty rags that we use to wipe down the bar we sort of put it over a a glass and then we freeze nasty water and we put it on top and we let it melt and drip through the dirty rags so

0:54:14 Speaker 6

it is

0:54:14 Speaker 11

filthy

0:54:15 Speaker 6

oh i am definitely willing to wait

0:54:18 Speaker 11

okay um has anybody seen todd he went out to get toilet paper is he back yet no i haven't i'm sorry i know you're just

0:54:25 Speaker 4

a

0:54:26 Speaker 8

customer i don't know i'm looking for creep tea he texted me steve

0:54:29 Speaker 8

for

0:54:29 Speaker 0

what

0:54:29 Speaker 8

is

0:54:29 Speaker 0

he looking

0:54:30 Speaker 4

he texted me he said

0:54:33 Speaker 0

todd texted

0:54:34 Speaker 11

it's todd i'm trying to use the text thing where you talk into the thing

0:54:34 Speaker 8

me

0:54:38 Speaker 0

are you hearing this yes or no let me know i've got something very important to say one way or the other

0:54:44 Speaker 6

todd todd todd you're right by the front door the text isn't working

0:54:48 Speaker 0

i'm sending a text excuse me

0:54:51 Speaker 6

todd we can hear you in the

0:54:52 Speaker 11

i'm sending a text guys guys we uh needle juices feast is really taking off something about it

0:54:52 Speaker 0

text

0:55:00 Speaker 7

yes and nice job pushing the apps

0:55:02 Speaker 11

no yeah it's not a problem uh i i just think we need to make sure we can fill the orders okay

0:55:09 Speaker 0

i'll get back there right now

0:55:10 Speaker 11

okay we're out of toilet paper too or did you get it people are there's so many people walking around with their pants and their

0:55:17 Speaker 6

don't we have a bunch of extra wonton wrappers in the back let's just use wonton paper for now and we'll change it to toilet

0:55:17 Speaker 0

ankles

0:55:23 Speaker 0

paper i'll show all the wonton paper together into one big roll and i'll put it on there okay do you guys do wonton paper over the top or from under you

0:55:31 Speaker 6

gotta do it doesn't matter does it matter no yes it does you gotta do over the top it's so much less convenient

0:55:36 Speaker 0

hey suzy wonton paper over or under todd does not have an apple phone

0:55:42 Speaker 6

todd has an orange phone

0:55:45 Speaker 0

what

0:55:46 Speaker 6

todd

0:55:49 Speaker 0

suzy what uh this

0:55:51 Speaker 6

robot is so it's not an app it's a lady he calls orange

0:55:58 Speaker 11

phone comes the lady named suzy suzy is swamped okay don't call her ass

0:56:03 Speaker 0

i can't believe i actually got a hold of her suzy google uh toilet paper

0:56:07 Speaker 11

wonton

0:56:08 Speaker 0

what are you talking about hey could you just tell me the specials i know you were dragging your feet on them but i'm trying to open up the the talking to the tables with the special uh yeah so we're doing a very nice demi glaze

0:56:20 Speaker 11

on a salmon great um over a bed of jasmine rice coconut cream is that sponsored by the movie jaws

0:56:30 Speaker 0

it's all sponsored the whole thing okay so it's like a me more gloss it's a me more gloss

0:56:38 Speaker 11

sponsored by ashton um i guess

0:56:41 Speaker 3

i don't know he's trying to get in good graces okay okay

0:56:45 Speaker 1

um but anyway uh jasmine rosman rice sponsored by jaws of course the salmon sponsored by uh sad

0:56:52 Speaker 7

rushdy seven rush

0:56:58 Speaker 0

and uh it's all on a hateful plate sponsored by quentin tarantino

0:57:05 Speaker 11

and is that our only special

0:57:06 Speaker 0

that's it that's our first of five

0:57:08 Speaker 11

uh i'll write the rest down and you can okay great great great great excuse me we're all in finance and we have a

0:57:14 Speaker 0

uh -huh we just go go go so we're just trying to get in and out can we do a meal in like 45 minutes we're trying to catch a film

0:57:21 Speaker 11

absolutely i actually have that table over there

0:57:23 Speaker 0

great um it's a seven top but you will be have to have to be out by eight because i do have uh some uh

0:57:30 Speaker 6

we are in a rush we will

0:57:31 Speaker 0

not be here more than 44 minutes okay okay great start off with four well done steaks uh

0:57:37 Speaker 11

okay for the table and let's do jaeger bombs just to get things going okay great all right so that that's nice actually okay you have

0:57:47 Speaker 5

one what salads do you have

0:57:48 Speaker 11

okay so you have one problematic person

0:57:51 Speaker 0

yeah this is humberto

0:57:53 Speaker 11

humberto

0:57:54 Speaker 5

what do you get what salads do you have

0:57:56 Speaker 11

well we have a cob

0:57:57 Speaker 5

we have a chop what's in the cob okay so that is romaine

0:58:02 Speaker 11

do you are you familiar it's a it's a

0:58:05 Speaker 0

classic cop what's in it okay so it's romaine it's

0:58:10 Speaker 11

boiled eggs boiled next what's the next salad okay

0:58:17 Speaker 0

just skip anything that has anything boiled in it i'll save you some time okay

0:58:22 Speaker 4

humberto i think

0:58:23 Speaker 6

you

0:58:23 Speaker 4

want the wedge you want the wedge humberto

0:58:25 Speaker 6

oh actually that does sound good can i have the wedge but just one question yeah how's the lettuce prepared on that

0:58:31 Speaker 11

so it is a iceberg chopped in half served open face okay but cold cold ice cold

0:58:39 Speaker 6

i do not want a boiled salad

0:58:41 Speaker 11

no none of it is boiled

0:58:43 Speaker 6

sorry guys we'll get out of here in just a second you do need to go sit down you guys are up here at the bar the the seven top over there is open

0:58:51 Speaker 8

okay

0:58:51 Speaker 0

all right it's a it's a it's a it's a wedge salad iceberg

0:58:55 Speaker 6

chopped

0:58:56 Speaker 10

in half

0:58:57 Speaker 0

open face

0:58:58 Speaker 3

blue cheese a little bit of blue cheese

0:59:00 Speaker 0

bacon we're just in a bit of a rush so we're trying to order from the bar and make and skip everybody else

0:59:05 Speaker 11

so listen i love that it's going first because we're in a rush all right so three well -done steaks four four is that are you gonna eat two or is that from umberto that's none of your damn business okay yeah what the

0:59:16 Speaker 4

fuck kind of question is that big guy what's the soup the soup god damn it umberto is pea soup oh

0:59:24 Speaker 1

when we got here you said you weren't hungry yeah and also you

0:59:27 Speaker 11

soup you you you hate soup you said split pea i said it's pea it's not split whole peas could you whole pea

0:59:27 Speaker 4

hate

0:59:35 Speaker 6

soup i know we're in a rush i know we're in a rush could you split the peas

0:59:39 Speaker 11

no that

0:59:40 Speaker 6

that's there the chef is not doing any

0:59:42 Speaker 0

modifications i

0:59:43 Speaker 6

can't eat here i can't eat here sorry excuse me speaking of whole pea soup

0:59:46 Speaker 11

uh the toilets are

0:59:47 Speaker 3

not flushing

0:59:50 Speaker 0

i've been waiting to say something but couldn't find a

0:59:51 Speaker 11

segue i just wanted to let you know

0:59:53 Speaker 0

sir i don't know why your pants down you just peed but you have to pee all down you have to sir just go back to your table

1:00:01 Speaker 4

can you cancel my meatle juices feast i'll go with the whole pea soup

1:00:05 Speaker 11

sir the meatle juices feast was sat down on your table a long time ago

1:00:09 Speaker 6

you've eaten most of it nope i'm sorry to be a hassle but i think we've waited a really long time for

1:00:16 Speaker 11

our oh my god i'm so sorry you're the family

1:00:19 Speaker 6

yeah

1:00:19 Speaker 11

we don't want it anymore it's too late we don't want it anymore can you just get us a meatle juices snack

1:00:25 Speaker 6

okay just downgrade us to

1:00:27 Speaker 11

the

1:00:27 Speaker 6

snack okay

1:00:28 Speaker 1

so just the bottom uh plate of imitation crab cakes do a mortal combat fatality on me

1:00:34 Speaker 11

i'm not cutting your head off i'm not doing any sort

1:00:38 Speaker 1

of my spine out

1:00:39 Speaker 11

no something what's going you guys need to take this kid to the hospital i think he's suicidal if this is your child

1:00:46 Speaker 1

i'm not a kid

1:00:47 Speaker 11

so a child you're it's he's so a child okay well it's because he's so addicted to his goddamn game

1:00:55 Speaker 6

are you addicted to your goddamn game

1:00:57 Speaker 0

he's always

1:00:58 Speaker 4

on his game

1:00:59 Speaker 0

there's nothing wrong with being addicted to a goddamn game

1:01:02 Speaker 6

he plays off -brand video games and is obsessed with them

1:01:06 Speaker 4

he was

1:01:06 Speaker 11

playing green dead redemption the other day green so it's is like you get all green lights you just go

1:01:15 Speaker 4

faster in this game yeah versus red yeah and i play pork night okay

1:01:20 Speaker 11

that's where you

1:01:22 Speaker 11

that's where you build a bunch of pigs

1:01:22 Speaker 0

build a bunch of pigs

1:01:25 Speaker 4

okay i play super mario cousins

1:01:27 Speaker 11

super mario cousins

1:01:29 Speaker 4

so they don't have as good of a relationship but they're still plumbers together yeah sonic the hedge pig

1:01:34 Speaker 11

it's okay pig again it's the same company

1:01:38 Speaker 4

company you play angry pigs yes play angry pigs

1:01:41 Speaker 0

okay

1:01:42 Speaker 11

they just flip and in that the pigs are the good guys and the birds are the bad guys none of those

1:01:47 Speaker 1

are as evil none of these are like would make you be suicidal okay so something else is going on hi

1:01:54 Speaker 0

excuse me my date you guys have got to stop walking up to me wait then you

1:01:58 Speaker 11

should walk

1:01:59 Speaker 11

us i'm trying you should walk up to us then hi what can i do for you

1:01:59 Speaker 0

up to

1:02:03 Speaker 0

my date i think things are getting a little hot and heavy

1:02:06 Speaker 11

she's gone

1:02:07 Speaker 6

i just wanted to pop my head back in one time to say i'm gone we're not

1:02:11 Speaker 11

she's gone and your and your gums are absolutely fucked you keep putting roses in your teeth

1:02:16 Speaker 0

well it's the best way to woo a woman is a little gentlemanly behavior

1:02:21 Speaker 11

what do you want sir

1:02:23 Speaker 0

uh well my date had to rush out probably to the bedroom so i'd like to get to my bedroom if that's where

1:02:28 Speaker 11

she you want to go to your separate

1:02:29 Speaker 0

if that's where she's at yeah so i just want to close out quickly uh and if there's any way she didn't leave her credit card or anything that you could still split the

1:02:36 Speaker 11

bill and i could maybe bill her for her half or something like that she didn't leave any payment source and i uh and i guess you're going to use um apple pay but this doesn't seem like this is an iphone um it's an orange or what is that yeah it's orange pay

1:02:52 Speaker 0

i'll give you

1:02:54 Speaker 11

the money on friday okay is that susie that's susie

1:02:57 Speaker 0

susie anyway we can get the money a little

1:03:00 Speaker 11

quicker here no we're not we're not doing susie

1:03:02 Speaker 0

we're not dealing with susie she's in here all the time haggling

1:03:06 Speaker 7

hey i'm sorry to walk right up to you but i need my check so that i can leave yes i'm can i dine and dash no

1:03:15 Speaker 11

please no

1:03:17 Speaker 7

come on you you started us off with so many middle juices feces while we're down okay on tartine i never got them i'm gonna leave

1:03:27 Speaker 11

don't do that we will have to call the police on you oh those pigs can't catch me don't

1:03:35 Speaker 7

goodbye

1:03:36 Speaker 1

don't you're clear it's gonna be very easy to find you you're you're

1:03:41 Speaker 11

leaving

1:03:43 Speaker 1

that guy's got wonton wrappers on his feet

1:03:45 Speaker 0

okay humiliating uh excuse me excuse me i'm over here at the table if you want to come

1:03:51 Speaker 11

over yes i'm coming over guys guys everyone in the dining room there's a lot of stuff going on right now please be patient with me 40 middle juices feast up fuck i mean good i mean good that's good all right hey hey

1:04:08 Speaker 0

my friend he's uh he stepped away to go to the restroom but uh he's kind of attracted to you and i was wondering if i could give you his phone number if you're interested

1:04:16 Speaker 11

oh uh i'm really swamped right now but if you if you if you have the number written down i'll take it well

1:04:25 Speaker 0

i don't have it just written down in front of me it'll take me 10 seconds okay just borrow that pen

1:04:28 Speaker 11

yes sure here you go

1:04:30 Speaker 0

thank you i think you're perfect for each other

1:04:33 Speaker 11

okay there you

1:04:33 Speaker 0

go thank you all right

1:04:35 Speaker 11

all right this is a very recognizable number and you know what i mean by that

1:04:42 Speaker 0

well he works

1:04:44 Speaker 11

at the police station that's the quickest way to get i'm not gonna call 911 for this guy

1:04:51 Speaker 0

well i don't know you never know your friend's numbers uh you said you were in a rush i can look it up in my phone if you want

1:04:55 Speaker 11

okay yes i need the actual number i do think he's attractive suzy what's mark's number god damn it hang on why does nobody in here have a regular phone

1:05:06 Speaker 0

five two two five two two

1:05:08 Speaker 4

four nine four nine uh hang on a second i got a call waiting oh sorry the boop wasn't real erase that one i got a second i got

1:05:16 Speaker 0

a call waiting hang on

1:05:17 Speaker 6

hey suzy what's delilah's number i can't remember it

1:05:21 Speaker 4

eight two fun

1:05:23 Speaker 6

uh -huh what is one

1:05:26 Speaker 4

eight two one eight two one

1:05:28 Speaker 0

okay all right hey plain white tees we only have this studio for one more hour if you're gonna do your follow -up song we gotta get the lyrics i need this number

1:05:37 Speaker 4

uh eight two one uh -huh five two one uh -huh eight eight one one uh -huh

1:05:42 Speaker 0

so it's just hey there delilah and you're saying her phone number that's the second version of the song back off back

1:05:48 Speaker 4

off

1:05:51 Speaker 0

um so is that you again suzy yeah

1:05:53 Speaker 4

i'm back

1:05:54 Speaker 0

i'm sorry are

1:05:55 Speaker 4

you yes i'm wondering what would you like to do for a date

1:06:00 Speaker 0

what's a good date

1:06:01 Speaker 11

i i like a little coffee first just during the day just to kind of get to know someone before we do a full dinner

1:06:08 Speaker 0

oh that's nice empty stomach or do you come having had to the coffee

1:06:11 Speaker 11

i come having had

1:06:13 Speaker 0

usually i mean like or i guess it doesn't really a little muffin or anything like that

1:06:17 Speaker 11

i'll eat a muffin there yeah

1:06:18 Speaker 0

yeah

1:06:18 Speaker 11

is this i haven't seen you with anyone all

1:06:21 Speaker 0

night is this for you it doesn't matter who it's for someone at this table thought you were attractive and just trying to get to know you a little bit

1:06:30 Speaker 11

listen i i if you want to go out sometime i would i would be interested in that but i am absolutely swamped right now they just put 40 needle juices feasts up and i have to sorry

1:06:43 Speaker 0

i'll let you get back to your job why don't i call you what's your number or my friend yes my number is um

1:06:50 Speaker 11

1 -800 -555 -2300 empire

1:06:56 Speaker 8

okay

1:06:56 Speaker 0

great i didn't know that yeah yeah yeah the empire glass the little mustache guy

1:07:00 Speaker 11

listen

1:07:02 Speaker 0

you got me i i am

1:07:05 Speaker 11

never mind i just got out of a relationship with the general no i just got out of a relationship with the general i can't repeat the same pattern

1:07:12 Speaker 0

well you have a time

1:07:14 Speaker 4

all right excuse me sir

1:07:15 Speaker 0

excuse me excuse me sir

1:07:18 Speaker 4

on your way back to the kitchen really quick god you you see all those feasts

1:07:23 Speaker 11

i know i have to go get them i just wanted to let you know the the the person who's at my my table like the person who's they're in the bathroom right now um it's their birthday i don't know if you guys do any kind of uh

1:07:33 Speaker 4

special yeah we do a sing we do a song god on my birthday out of tp oh

1:07:40 Speaker 6

god

1:07:41 Speaker 0

there's supposed to be wanton paper in there todd i'm sewing as fast as i can oh no i just sent out a bunch of wontons but they're wrapped in toilet paper nobody eat the wontons oh

1:07:58 Speaker 11

my god somebody's choking mr heimlich mr heimlich is mr heimlich in the house where is he

1:08:06 Speaker 6

mr heimlich don't

1:08:08 Speaker 11

do this maneuver

1:08:09 Speaker 0

don't do it sorry sorry i was just outside trying to clean the dumpster with the heimlich maneuver who's in need her her

1:08:17 Speaker 9

thank god i'm here mr heimlich mr heimlich

1:08:21 Speaker 6

do it don't say people's elbow for mr heimlich sometimes you need to go harder it's still she's still choking

1:08:30 Speaker 8

oh off the top rope

1:08:33 Speaker 11

a double a double foot oh shotgun to the chest it was a beanbag it was a beanbag beanbag still breathing but choking and oh a chop a chop are you okay ma 'am

1:08:54 Speaker 0

think

1:08:54 Speaker 7

i

1:08:54 Speaker 7

i'm okay

1:08:55 Speaker 11

thank god

1:08:56 Speaker 0

jesus christ thank you so much

1:08:59 Speaker 11

mr

1:08:59 Speaker 0

heimlich oh great my wife you're alive great fucking prick

1:09:09 Speaker 6

all right so that was a pretty good session that's what it sounds like to be mic'd up uh

1:09:13 Speaker 11

yeah that was that's what we wanted we wanted to play

1:09:18 Speaker 6

we

1:09:19 Speaker 11

wanted to play that for you guys that was a pretty normal shift

1:09:22 Speaker 6

uh but you know it's it's sort of the soft opening still we're open but we're not really grandly open so we're

1:09:29 Speaker 0

ironing some kinks i would say i mean as far as like watching game tape goes what where did we land on dating the customers because

1:09:37 Speaker 11

i

1:09:38 Speaker 11

it can be a little bit of a conflict of interest it's a little power dynamic everyone knows that i don't think it's i think it's like very a very temporary power dynamic you're not even that powerful

1:09:38 Speaker 7

know

1:09:50 Speaker 6

i don't know who's in power i would say you're definitely the less power

1:09:54 Speaker 11

yeah yeah as the server

1:09:56 Speaker 6

yeah you're getting bossed around why not that's not i mean

1:09:59 Speaker 11

that's not what's happening at a restaurant