Seekers' Lounge
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s12e04

Plimpie's

Originally aired: December 11, 2023

The Teachers discuss some hiring disputes before food critics review the restaurant.

0:00:30 Speaker 5

All right, y 'all, you rested? Everybody get a good night's sleep last night?

0:00:33 Speaker 7

Ate a good breakfast? It's a big day. The fuck you think?

0:00:37 Speaker 5

Well, it's daylight savings. Jesus Christ. We're

0:00:40 Speaker 7

obviously all over. I'm absolutely fucked.

0:00:43 Speaker 5

You guys, I warned you about this. I warned you about this last week. I said, make sure to set your clocks back a day early, is what I said.

0:00:50 Speaker 1

That's what I did, and I've been a day off.

0:00:53 Speaker 11

I set myself

0:00:54 Speaker 4

back on accident. We did it, and it absolutely wrecked us.

0:00:58 Speaker 1

I'm still wrecked. I'm wrecked.

0:01:00 Speaker 4

I'm a brown hog day of exhaustion.

0:01:02 Speaker 11

And I want the farmers. I'm for more change. I'm for actually more of a change. I want the farmers to be able to get up at 3 a .m. and go to sleep at 3 p .m. so we can have too much corn syrup in this country. This country runs on the

0:01:24 Speaker 1

farmers.

0:01:25 Speaker 5

It always does. It's all about the farmers. Yeah, well, and it could be about us. If you guys had taken, okay. Listen, this is a huge day, guys. You guys know we got our big

0:01:36 Speaker 3

press day tonight.

0:01:38 Speaker 5

Don't harmonize yawn.

0:01:41 Speaker 2

It's obviously. It's obviously. For the longest yawn. For

0:01:47 Speaker 3

the longest yawn. Don't sleep.

0:01:54 Speaker 10

Don't sleep. Don't sleep.

0:01:56 Speaker 6

Yawn.

0:01:58 Speaker 10

Okay, that's crazy. When you guys yawn and I start yawning, and then we're

0:02:02 Speaker 5

a yawn right

0:02:02 Speaker 2

doing Billy Joel. I'm making

0:02:03 Speaker 2

now, Bill. You didn't say

0:02:04 Speaker 11

yawn. Yeah. Oh. My sternum. My

0:02:10 Speaker 1

sternum pop.

0:02:11 Speaker 4

All right. I'll get the med kit. Let me get to the first aid. Jesus Christ. Let me get into the first aid. This isn't what

0:02:16 Speaker 1

we needed to start the

0:02:17 Speaker 4

day

0:02:17 Speaker 1

off, guys.

0:02:17 Speaker 5

There's nothing in the kit that's going to help with pop's sternum. No, it didn't.

0:02:24 Speaker 11

Dusty spiderwebs everywhere. We did get used med kits. I bought. We bought used.

0:02:28 Speaker 4

Let's get by med kit consignment. Well, when you start a restaurant, you have to know that you don't need the fanciest of everything.

0:02:37 Speaker 1

Right. We got a lot

0:02:38 Speaker 5

of our stuff at Goodwills, at Dumps, at L. Goodwills. Yeah. Goodwills.

0:02:44 Speaker 4

Goodwills. Many

0:02:44 Speaker 5

Goodwills. Many Goodwills they have. We shop around at a Goodwill. You can't. Because you can't take the first price.

0:02:51 Speaker 11

No. You kind of have to treat a Goodwill like a used car show. And we'll say

0:02:54 Speaker 4

it's cheaper at the other Goodwill. And they will honor the price, which we say it's free at the other one. These

0:03:00 Speaker 11

freaking, these disgusting, these disgusting Goodwill sales agents. They're just trying to get their hooks into you. How much, you know, freaking money can they get out of you?

0:03:12 Speaker 4

It's all about the commission.

0:03:12 Speaker 1

I know.

0:03:13 Speaker 1

It's because

0:03:14 Speaker 4

everybody's in there elbowing their way in towards those dusty pans and Mr. Coffees and popcorn makers in the back. What if they're out of the front of the Goodwill where all the agents stand outside and they call which one they're dealing with as you come in? You know what I mean?

0:03:27 Speaker 11

Those

0:03:28 Speaker 1

freaking vultures.

0:03:29 Speaker 11

Yeah. You're going to get hosed at a whim.

0:03:32 Speaker 4

You want a flannel. You leave

0:03:34 Speaker 11

with a marked up pleather skirt. You get what you want. And now you're stuck with it

0:03:41 Speaker 4

for 72 months, 0 % APR. And I'm like, I cannot. The monthlies are killing me on the skirt. Killing, killing, killing, killing, killing, killing, killing, killing, killing, killing. But the craziest thing is when you go in to get it serviced,

0:03:54 Speaker 11

they look at you like you're crazy. Well, they sell you the skirt package. That's how they make their money up top. They're like, come in, wear the skirt. We'll service. We'll change the oil, the whole

0:04:04 Speaker 4

thing.

0:04:05 Speaker 11

Yeah. A lot of times it's such a whole. And this is where the metaphor keeps

0:04:05 Speaker 5

We'll change the oil.

0:04:08 Speaker 5

working. It's a whole thing. You go in. They say you can pre -buy alterations. Three. You get three. You

0:04:15 Speaker 6

go in. You get them

0:04:15 Speaker 10

can

0:04:16 Speaker 0

for free. But then you go and you go to schedule your appointment. And

0:04:19 Speaker 11

it takes three weeks for them to tell you when you can do it. And you're like, well, I'm just going to go to Jiffy Skirt. Uh -huh. Yep. Yes. And I know people

0:04:28 Speaker 1

said this, but as soon as you wear the skirt off the lot, it loses most of its value. Here's my issue with

0:04:28 Speaker 5

have

0:04:33 Speaker 11

buying the skirt at Goodwill.

0:04:37 Speaker 1

My issue with buying the skirt at Goodwill is because I'm a guy,

0:04:40 Speaker 3

they think they can take advantage of me and then I don't know what I'm talking about.

0:04:45 Speaker 1

Why don't you let us know when your wife can come back in? Yeah, exactly. I'll come in with a woman and they keep talking to her about the skirt. And I'm like, excuse me, I'm buying the skirt. Right. Do you see a wedding ring on my finger? No.

0:04:55 Speaker 4

The skirt's for me? Well, you do, but it's because my one got stuck.

0:04:59 Speaker 11

different. Oh, right. Right. You tried on a little plastic ring at a quarter machine and it's

0:04:59 Speaker 1

That's

0:05:08 Speaker 1

severely hurting your ring finger. Yeah. It was on a relatively salty day of my life.

0:05:15 Speaker 5

Also known as Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday,

0:05:18 Speaker 1

Saturday, Sunday. All seven

0:05:20 Speaker 5

days.

0:05:21 Speaker 1

Diarrhea.

0:05:23 Speaker 11

On the seventh day, you rest and eat sugar. That's right.

0:05:26 Speaker 10

Is that true?

0:05:26 Speaker 11

And the Lord

0:05:27 Speaker 10

rested. The toward to the Todd. To

0:05:31 Speaker 3

the Todd.

0:05:32 Speaker 10

The Todd rested on the seventh day and he ate sugar.

0:05:36 Speaker 1

Well, just speaking to kind of how we're preparing and stuff, I was also up late, not just Daylight savings, but I've been getting it on Twitter, on TikTok.

0:05:50 Speaker 0

People are calling me out for the kitchen right now and the lack of the masculine energy back there. We haven't hired any women and I am such a feminist. So I stayed up late last night. I put some ads on Indeed. We are changing the culture of this kitchen

0:06:04 Speaker 5

forever. That's beautiful. That's great. It's a proactive approach.

0:06:08 Speaker 1

Yes.

0:06:09 Speaker 5

Response to criticism. Criticism. It's not a thing that a lot of people are interested in.

0:06:13 Speaker 1

Oh, I respond to all

0:06:14 Speaker 5

criticism. Yeah.

0:06:15 Speaker 11

Yeah. Absolutely. Usually angrily and challenging

0:06:19 Speaker 1

and doubling down, but this time changing for the better. Yes. I took the L, the L and the E out of challenging

0:06:27 Speaker 5

and I am changing. I thought you were going to hate that I took the L.

0:06:30 Speaker 1

No, I would never. No. I took the L and I hired some women.

0:06:36 Speaker 4

I did see some of those posts on Indeed. Indeed. The comment

0:06:39 Speaker 1

section got pretty heated on the line. I didn't know you could turn comments off, but they were on. And yeah, I was in there because it was like, why is the pay so low? And it was like, well, I'm the boss. I'm going to make more than you. And then it was like, okay, here it comes. Another white man making more than the women. It was like, it's my restaurant.

0:06:59 Speaker 4

I'm allowed to make more, ladies. There's something about you that you just get into an immediate

0:07:03 Speaker 1

fight no matter what anytime you meet a new person. Well, if someone says something to me, it's pissing me off.

0:07:08 Speaker 4

Well, I'll also say, Todd. That's a good point.

0:07:11 Speaker 1

If someone says something to you, it's pissing you off. It's crazy

0:07:14 Speaker 5

the way people do that,

0:07:15 Speaker 4

Right. They just piss you off all day.

0:07:15 Speaker 1

man.

0:07:17 Speaker 1

I also think it was a mistake for you to put your compensation in the ad as well for comparison. I listened to an interview with Maria Banford. She said she talks about all her money now. And so

0:07:26 Speaker 5

I'm doing it.

0:07:27 Speaker 4

I

0:07:28 Speaker 5

did. I said, I make $100 ,000 a year.

0:07:32 Speaker 4

Hopefully. Hopefully.

0:07:34 Speaker 1

hopeful right now. We have set salaries that we hope to get to. Well, if I put the numbers out there, I'll be.

0:07:34 Speaker 11

It's all

0:07:41 Speaker 11

Letitia James will come after me like she came after Trump.

0:07:46 Speaker 1

Oh, is it $4 billion? Did you lie about how much you're worth? Of course I didn't. I'm worth $4 billion.

0:07:55 Speaker 11

I don't think she's coming after you.

0:07:58 Speaker 1

She's a doofus. She's political. Right. She's a

0:08:02 Speaker 11

dud. First, she comes for the president and you said nothing. And then she comes

0:08:06 Speaker 4

for you. It's not the same. You know what I mean? It's not the same at all. That is the famous Jewish.

0:08:11 Speaker 1

It's the

0:08:12 Speaker 11

same as Jewish. What they're doing with Trump is the same as Jewish. You can't simply use a famous Jewish right now. Okay? You can't. You can't. It's

0:08:20 Speaker 4

simply wrong.

0:08:22 Speaker 1

But, yeah, I have, you know, there's those TikTok videos and it's hard to see yourself.

0:08:28 Speaker 0

Right. You know, somebody starting a video and it's like,

0:08:30 Speaker 1

so y 'all are just finding out right now Todd Padre is the most racist man

0:08:33 Speaker 8

in America. That's

0:08:34 Speaker 4

tough to see for you. And it's like,

0:08:35 Speaker 8

excuse me, how are you all of a sudden aware of me and saying

0:08:38 Speaker 8

stuff?

0:08:38 Speaker 11

this

0:08:39 Speaker 1

Right.

0:08:40 Speaker 11

Right. So you're saying any publicity is not necessarily good publicity. It's

0:08:46 Speaker 1

bad when it's about my name being dragged

0:08:49 Speaker 5

through the mud. Right.

0:08:50 Speaker 1

I would hope, though, Todd, it sounds like a very, like, sort of superficial change you're making. It sounds like you're still really defensive about it. And I would hope that maybe you'd take a second to kind of breathe through it and actually do some introspection. Well,

0:09:04 Speaker 11

I do. Which I know we're not necessarily comfortable with. I did like your apology video where you're playing the ukulele. Thank

0:09:12 Speaker 4

you. Really good. I thought it was really good. And so brave to pick up the ukulele day

0:09:17 Speaker 1

of.

0:09:18 Speaker 8

Yes, you

0:09:19 Speaker 4

learned it.

0:09:19 Speaker 1

obviously

0:09:22 Speaker 1

I'm going to say. You look at it and you're like, okay.

0:09:25 Speaker 4

It's like tiny. It's a small ukulele. I'd never seen a nine -string ukulele before. What was that? Oh, yeah. It was double -string Led Zeppelin

0:09:32 Speaker 5

style. It was zip. Two -neck. Double -neck.

0:09:38 Speaker 4

Double -kostume with costume.

0:09:41 Speaker 9

Yeah, you were 70s for sure. Double -neck Led Zeppelin

0:09:46 Speaker 4

style. And I want to say, I think that's why the apology didn't quite land.

0:09:51 Speaker 9

It was so. That it was in character. It

0:09:53 Speaker 6

was so themed. Yeah.

0:09:55 Speaker 4

So much incense. We couldn't really see you. The apology isn't really about the art direction.

0:10:01 Speaker 2

You know what I mean? No. It's about

0:10:02 Speaker 11

the genuine. It should be stripped down, not sort of built up. And there was a long seven -minute video of you walking from the green room to where you recorded it.

0:10:14 Speaker 1

Yeah. And really hyper -stylized and making you seem really cool. Yeah. I go and I do my little pre -show vocal warm -up with the crew.

0:10:23 Speaker 11

Right. I'm dabbing up everybody, all the below -the -line people to show that I know their names and stuff. You make them get in a circle and pray. I make them.

0:10:36 Speaker 1

Yeah. And they pray to my God because it's my tour.

0:10:40 Speaker 1

Yeah, Todd. They pray to Todd. The almighty Todd. The almighty Todd. Of course. And then I go out and my daughter introduces me at the beginning.

0:10:40 Speaker 4

Todd, right?

0:10:51 Speaker 11

That is so adorable. Because I'm a family man. Well,

0:10:54 Speaker 1

let's get it. And you give her heavy notes. You heavily note it. In the video, you can see it. I ripped the mic out of it.

0:10:59 Speaker 4

And again, this is all still for Todd's apology. You end up

0:11:03 Speaker 1

doing your own intro. Don't forget, he's not a musician or a famous person. This is his apology. Ladies and gentlemen, I'm sorry you had to sit through that intro.

0:11:11 Speaker 9

Oh, because you do have an opener. Oh, yeah. Somebody gives an apology before you, right?

0:11:16 Speaker 1

Who apologized before you this time?

0:11:19 Speaker 9

Let's see. It doesn't have to be real.

0:11:24 Speaker 1

It was the editor of Flower Moon. They said there should be an intermission. They're sorry they made us sit through the whole

0:11:32 Speaker 4

thing. It turns out Marty wanted a three -hour movie.

0:11:35 Speaker 1

I made it longer,

0:11:36 Speaker 11

sorry.

0:11:36 Speaker 4

and I'm

0:11:37 Speaker 4

Right,

0:11:37 Speaker 11

right. So they apologized before you, and you did it.

0:11:42 Speaker 1

I thought it was a really – I did see –

0:11:45 Speaker 11

and I – as somebody who's been to every one of your performances

0:11:50 Speaker 3

–

0:11:52 Speaker 6

Are you talking about yourself?

0:11:54 Speaker 11

No. But

0:11:56 Speaker 3

in character or

0:11:57 Speaker 4

somebody who did that? As somebody who has – Like in an improv scene, you're saying, as your doctor.

0:12:03 Speaker 11

Exactly. As somebody who's been at every one of your performances, which I have not, but I'm pretending to be a character that has right now. I thought – I did feel like you were dropped in. There was something about you were – in real life, when you're doing it in real life, you are actively getting dragged through the mud. You are able to commit. You just needed it to be real. You're able to act real in real life.

0:12:32 Speaker 1

Rage guides me, and I don't know what would happen, but on that stage for that ukulele apology video, I don't know. Todd spoke through me

0:12:40 Speaker 0

You know, I was – it was a higher power, and I felt like, sure, I bungled most of the solo.

0:12:40 Speaker 0

that

0:12:40 Speaker 11

day.

0:12:51 Speaker 4

It's a lot of strings when you don't know how to play

0:12:53 Speaker 11

either instrument. You didn't have to do the free bird solo. I did. I did.

0:12:59 Speaker 1

Well, you didn't.

0:13:00 Speaker 11

Well, no. After the apology, I felt free as a bird.

0:13:05 Speaker 1

You know – And the hardest part for me is because I'm playing the solo, and I'm also doing the other parts of the band with my mother. And I can't simply do both.

0:13:17 Speaker 11

You had a loop pedal, and you went to

0:13:20 Speaker 1

loop yourself, but you had recorded you angrily complaining earlier in the day, and that just started playing. Yeah. Yeah,

0:13:28 Speaker 11

so it was looped against me about how parallel parking spots are too small.

0:13:32 Speaker 5

Todd, I'm going to be honest with you. They're not

0:13:36 Speaker 1

all uniform.

0:13:37 Speaker 9

The ones you choose are

0:13:40 Speaker 4

too little. Also, they're not all parallel parking spots. Some of them – Some of them, like if you're in a big mall empty parking lot, you can just pull in

0:13:50 Speaker 2

straight. You don't have to parallel. Those are head in. Yeah.

0:13:54 Speaker 11

are head in. I never park head in. He thinks every parking spot is parallel. You try to parallel park in sideways

0:13:54 Speaker 4

Todd

0:14:00 Speaker 4

to a head in spot.

0:14:02 Speaker 11

It's

0:14:02 Speaker 4

too little. And you obviously have – It's not too small. It's too little.

0:14:07 Speaker 11

You're perpendicular. You're doing it perfectly. And your car is – Not to be rude, but so long.

0:14:13 Speaker 1

Oh, yeah, yeah.

0:14:14 Speaker 11

It's an XL Denali.

0:14:17 Speaker 11

I'm going to be – That's what you call it. That's what's written on the side. But say what

0:14:17 Speaker 1

Man,

0:14:22 Speaker 4

it really is. It's a marker.

0:14:23 Speaker 11

You stole the Ghostbusters little van thing. You stole the little van thing.

0:14:28 Speaker 1

Well, they tried to suck me up.

0:14:31 Speaker 4

Well, it shouldn't be able

0:14:32 Speaker 2

to happen. Well, you need a tan. It shouldn't be able to happen. If it was happening – I was all the way in there.

0:14:39 Speaker 4

In the little box. Yes. Jesus, Todd.

0:14:42 Speaker 5

Man, I'm going to be honest, Todd. I'm worried because

0:14:44 Speaker 4

as I said before – Slimer curved me. Ha -ha!

0:14:48 Speaker 1

Curved or swerved?

0:14:49 Speaker 4

So you hit on

0:14:51 Speaker 1

Slimer immediately in the box. In the

0:14:53 Speaker 4

box. Hey,

0:14:53 Speaker 11

baby.

0:14:54 Speaker 4

Swerved.

0:14:55 Speaker 11

Swerved. Swerved.

0:14:56 Speaker 4

Swerved. Either one. Either one works. Both work for you in any situation. You're always getting curved and swerved. Driving on swerved into curves. Speaking of curvy, Slimer, I see what you are doing.

0:15:08 Speaker 5

whole lot of something. Look at

0:15:08 Speaker 1

A

0:15:09 Speaker 1

the ass on

0:15:10 Speaker 4

that

0:15:10 Speaker 5

thing. I wouldn't know what to do with it.

0:15:12 Speaker 1

No.

0:15:12 Speaker 5

Oh, you wouldn't. Yeah.

0:15:14 Speaker 4

Slimer would break your dick off. That's like the implication throughout the movies, right? That Slimer fucks fucking hard. That's how Slimer dies. Yeah.

0:15:25 Speaker 1

Slimer was a size

0:15:27 Speaker 4

queen. Not too big. Finally, Slimer could be killed as a ghost. That was the biggest, craziest thing. Slimer got her back

0:15:36 Speaker 11

blown out.

0:15:39 Speaker 1

Literally. Literally, yeah. Wow. It's a crazy story, the Ghostbusters lore.

0:15:45 Speaker 5

I'm really worried, if I'm being honest, Todd. I feel like this is a huge day, as I said before. We've got our press day today. We've got a bunch of critics coming into the restaurant to prep for our grand opening. And

0:15:56 Speaker 4

I'm worried that - Lovitz is coming in? Yeah. Lovitz will be here.

0:15:58 Speaker 5

The critic. Yeah. I'm really worried that this is going to be a huge distraction.

0:16:05 Speaker 1

Oh, wow, Howard. Having women in the kitchen is a distraction? No, that's not - I used to be just

0:16:10 Speaker 3

like you last night. Todd.

0:16:15 Speaker 1

But I learned so much. Todd, that's not what I'm saying. I hear the point you're making. It's not specifically that. It's the whole - You're missing it on purpose.

0:16:21 Speaker 0

Yes. It's the circus around your whole situation right now.

0:16:25 Speaker 11

I'm just worried - The kitchen is not a circus because there's women in

0:16:27 Speaker 5

it. I'm not saying

0:16:28 Speaker 1

that. Oh, women

0:16:29 Speaker 1

lions.

0:16:29 Speaker 11

are

0:16:30 Speaker 5

They're clowns. They need to be tamed. They're clowns.

0:16:32 Speaker 4

You're sick. I was just like you moments ago. Until you said that. I was just like

0:16:39 Speaker 11

you. Until you became worse than me and there was an easier target than me, we all felt that way. Until I could place myself above you quickly in the moment, I was worse than you. I don't know my opinion until someone else says my opinion and I go, oh, that sounds bad.

0:16:50 Speaker 5

I'm actually the opposite now. I'm just really worried. We have a lot on our plate today, figuratively and literally. The

0:16:58 Speaker 1

menu's insane.

0:17:00 Speaker 5

And I'm just worried. We have so many critics coming

0:17:02 Speaker 1

in for service tonight. Manic. Loco. These are words that have been used to talk about women for centuries.

0:17:09 Speaker 11

That is belittling how - In his defense, the menu is called biting off more than you can chew. It's a

0:17:16 Speaker 1

very interesting take

0:17:17 Speaker 4

on dinner. The plates need to be pared down.

0:17:19 Speaker 1

Yes. In a very practical

0:17:21 Speaker 4

the plates need to be

0:17:21 Speaker 11

sense,

0:17:23 Speaker 11

pared down. There's too many differing things on each plate. Yeah. I don't think having a diner be - The goal of your meals are having a diner be in over their head. I don't know if that's what we need.

0:17:38 Speaker 1

Oh, so - Okay. So let's just start with the eyes are bigger than your mouth entree. Or the eyes are bigger than your tummy

0:17:44 Speaker 11

entree. Yes,

0:17:46 Speaker 1

yes. Uh -huh. His eyes are bigger than your mouth. This is dessert. That's a dessert.

0:17:50 Speaker 4

Yeah. And that's just a funny looking fish.

0:17:52 Speaker 1

His eyes are bigger

0:17:53 Speaker 4

than its mouth. Which is a delicious dessert. Don't

0:17:55 Speaker 11

judge

0:17:55 Speaker 1

it

0:17:56 Speaker 1

fish. It's

0:17:56 Speaker 11

by the

0:17:57 Speaker 4

dessert fish. A lot of people keep asking, is the dessert fishy? And the answer is

0:17:57 Speaker 4

a

0:17:57 Speaker 1

delicious

0:18:02 Speaker 1

yes.

0:18:02 Speaker 2

Yeah, it's a sweet fish. It's a sweet fish.

0:18:05 Speaker 4

It's incredibly fishy.

0:18:07 Speaker 1

It's only fishy.

0:18:09 Speaker 4

It is fish. Well, here's a normal restaurant, right? A

0:18:12 Speaker 10

might be like burger and fries. Yes. Right.

0:18:12 Speaker 1

meal

0:18:16 Speaker 0

A simple main and a compliment, right? Uh -huh. Maybe a little garnish of a parsley or a little orange or something like that. Yes. Right? But we do burger, fries, tater tots, coleslaw, mashed potatoes, sandwich.

0:18:30 Speaker 1

Beans, greens, potatoes,

0:18:33 Speaker 4

tomatoes. You

0:18:33 Speaker 5

name

0:18:34 Speaker 3

it. Yes. You name it. It's all on there. And I just think we should pick because that sounds like three or four dishes.

0:18:39 Speaker 5

Yeah, it's almost like we're trying to please every possible person with one plate. We're almost making every meal a buffet.

0:18:47 Speaker 5

Did we learn nothing from Meat or Juice's feast? Yeah, we already have the

0:18:47 Speaker 11

Yeah.

0:18:51 Speaker 8

That's where everything should be. That's our biggest dish.

0:18:51 Speaker 11

feast. Yeah.

0:18:54 Speaker 1

Okay. So why don't

0:18:56 Speaker 11

you just pare one down real quick for

0:18:59 Speaker 1

us? All right. So let's just do the eyes. We're bigger than your tummy. Okay. So that is a meatloaf with a side of a loaded baked potato. Yep.

0:19:11 Speaker 11

Heavy. Heavy. Great. With a stuffed cabbage, a little bit of Eastern European flavor there.

0:19:16 Speaker 1

Okay. Now I feel like we're off.

0:19:19 Speaker 11

What's the cabbage stuffed

0:19:20 Speaker 1

with? Yeah, are you starting with everything that's there and

0:19:22 Speaker 4

then

0:19:23 Speaker 1

paring down? Or are you? Well, no. I'm saying here's what we have.

0:19:26 Speaker 4

want to pare down. Oh,

0:19:26 Speaker 8

you

0:19:26 Speaker 4

if

0:19:26 Speaker 8

So

0:19:28 Speaker 11

okay. Here's

0:19:28 Speaker 11

items. This is great. I think it'll be exciting for people to hear like a true blue negotiation. This is something you can learn

0:19:28 Speaker 4

our

0:19:34 Speaker 0

from.

0:19:35 Speaker 0

you compromise on something like this?

0:19:35 Speaker 11

Right. How do

0:19:38 Speaker 11

So for me, the stuffed cabbage must stay.

0:19:42 Speaker 4

That's fine. Yeah, that's fine. Well, okay. Well, let's work from there. And that's a good interesting side. I like that main. Not everybody has that. Oh, we're thinking. Yeah. I guess I don't know. How big is it?

0:19:51 Speaker 1

Stuffed cabbage? Big as your head. That's what the menu says. But it does say not if you're a weirdo. Like it's got to be normal heads. You

0:20:00 Speaker 11

can't come in and be like.

0:20:02 Speaker 1

Yeah. Don't come in with that big actor head

0:20:04 Speaker 4

and expect us to find a cabbage. Just so anybody knows who's listening. We're not looking at the size of your body and then determining how much food you get.

0:20:12 Speaker 11

We are now. It's a great

0:20:13 Speaker 4

idea. No.

0:20:14 Speaker 3

No. That's

0:20:15 Speaker 11

not. It could be. We could get ourselves into trouble

0:20:17 Speaker 4

there. But I think we should decide our standards.

0:20:20 Speaker 11

Because you give more food or less food.

0:20:22 Speaker 4

Sorry.

0:20:25 Speaker 11

Which

0:20:25 Speaker 1

way

0:20:26 Speaker 11

That's what I'm saying. I think Todd is shooting from the hip too hard. I don't.

0:20:26 Speaker 4

do you go?

0:20:31 Speaker 4

You told me what you want on the menu. We set a standard and then we stick to it. We don't just make a new choice every time someone walks through the

0:20:38 Speaker 1

door. Right. What should

0:20:40 Speaker 5

our piece de resistance be? You didn't complete the dish,

0:20:44 Speaker 1

by the way.

0:20:45 Speaker 5

Stuffed cabbage. Big potato. Stuffed cabbage. There is more, Todd.

0:20:50 Speaker 1

Yeah. Broccoli hat. That's like as if the feast has a hat on top

0:20:55 Speaker 5

of it. Right. You cut out. Made out of a broccoli floree. Yeah. You somehow take the stalk out of a broccoli and keep all of the little hairy parts in like a big thing. You put it on top of it.

0:21:06 Speaker 4

a big hairy hat. Just a quick question. This isn't about the menu, but am I ever going to get my hat back that you use for the mold? Or is that kind of.

0:21:06 Speaker 3

That's

0:21:14 Speaker 1

It was lost in the experimentation.

0:21:17 Speaker 4

Really? I apologize.

0:21:18 Speaker 1

That's my

0:21:19 Speaker 11

favorite hat. You've lost most of his clothes.

0:21:21 Speaker 4

Why? I didn't want to ask any questions because I'm a team player, but why do all the meals need my clothes as a template?

0:21:28 Speaker 1

Right. Because you're my muse.

0:21:31 Speaker 4

Oh my God.

0:21:32 Speaker 1

I immediately forgive you. I go, that's a dish.

0:21:35 Speaker 4

I immediately forgive you. I'd like to eat

0:21:36 Speaker 9

this. Thank you. Yeah. You're my muse. Okay. No more questions.

0:21:41 Speaker 11

So you're not mad as long as you're a muse? That's right, baby. Oh. Wow.

0:21:48 Speaker 1

Okay. Well, I feel like I would like to maybe take a little bit of a step back from the menu just

0:21:53 Speaker 11

as I work on hiring some new staff for the kitchen. Yes, yes, yes. So

0:21:58 Speaker 0

please maybe educate me. Let's throw out my

0:22:01 Speaker 11

idea. We're going to have sex tonight.

0:22:04 Speaker 4

That's not what a muse is.

0:22:06 Speaker 1

I don't know if that's fully

0:22:07 Speaker 4

muse. I think that's a muse.

0:22:08 Speaker 11

I think it can be. I don't think it should be with you guys.

0:22:13 Speaker 4

Oh, wow. I'm going to fuck my muse today.

0:22:15 Speaker 2

That's not

0:22:16 Speaker 11

a muse.

0:22:17 Speaker 4

We're going to get so inspired. Me and Todd are going to go home and sleep

0:22:24 Speaker 2

in bed

0:22:24 Speaker 8

and make food.

0:22:30 Speaker 4

We're going to go sleep in bed together, sex, and then we're going to make food. Okay. Because we're inspired. I'm not against this. I don't want to, like,

0:22:39 Speaker 9

stop this. But it just seems out of nowhere.

0:22:47 Speaker 2

Have you guys had sex before? No,

0:22:51 Speaker 1

I've never been a muse before. I've never been so inspired.

0:22:55 Speaker 5

I'll warn you, Sam. I don't think getting romantically involved with Todd in any way is smart for anyone.

0:23:01 Speaker 1

Why are you jealous? Jealous. Fuck you.

0:23:05 Speaker 5

What are you doing? We'll listen to this. I'm going to fuck tonight. And now I'm not. You're going to say stuff like this. Damn. I just think for many reasons, we're business partners. We are long -time

0:23:17 Speaker 4

friends. You're just mad because no one will confide in you at the bar. Why are you

0:23:21 Speaker 4

about? You're just so mad. Oh, yeah. You were trying to get confidants in. Oh, yeah. I am a bartender. People will confide

0:23:21 Speaker 1

talking

0:23:28 Speaker 11

in me. No, you want people to be your friend and be depressed to you so bad. You stand up there and you polish that one glass with

0:23:35 Speaker 1

that one napkin, hoping somebody will come in and give a big exhale. Okay. What's got you so blue, bub? Okay.

0:23:45 Speaker 4

Your fucking lines to open are disgusting. You hit. Hey, champ. What's got you down?

0:23:52 Speaker 5

Yeah. I'll say this. Yes. Statistically, people spend less time at my bar than any bar in history.

0:23:59 Speaker 1

That's right. 538 had that

0:24:01 Speaker 5

whole expose.

0:24:02 Speaker 1

And you know what? Fuck that guy. He's wrong about everything. He's wrong about my bar also. I've made plenty of friends at

0:24:08 Speaker 4

the bar. He nailed the election.

0:24:10 Speaker 1

He nailed the 2016 election.

0:24:13 Speaker 4

Hillary. Hillary.

0:24:21 Speaker 11

Damn. I understand Hillary. I understand Hillary. That was a devastating election.

0:24:28 Speaker 1

But yes, Howard, I do think that you have a lot of skills. Yeah. In this world. I'm so many skills. I'm thinking of them all right now. I'm almost frozen thinking of all the things that you're good at. Just three, two, one. Say one skill.

0:24:48 Speaker 4

Yeah. How about it?

0:24:50 Speaker 1

Tying your shoe now.

0:24:53 Speaker 4

Two, one.

0:24:54 Speaker 1

Both shoes untied. Blowing your nose all the way.

0:24:59 Speaker 5

That is true. I can do both of those things. I don't. Howard. Big Boog

0:25:04 Speaker 4

City. I can justify both of those

0:25:05 Speaker 11

things. You've been getting,

0:25:06 Speaker 11

boogers, dude. Yeah.

0:25:06 Speaker 5

you got

0:25:08 Speaker 4

Well. You always have a little hangy piece of snot. Because you just never quite finish.

0:25:13 Speaker 8

It's a conversation starter. You blow it great. How do you not see

0:25:17 Speaker 11

the boogers? It's a conversation starter. No, I do

0:25:19 Speaker 5

it on purpose.

0:25:20 Speaker 4

It's a conversation ender for

0:25:22 Speaker 5

sure. No, it's not. Big hangy snot out of one nosh. Well, maybe people that you would want to talk to, but I want to meet people who would call me out and say, hey, excuse me, sir. You got a little thing

0:25:30 Speaker 4

hanging out of your nose. You want to meet people who call you out.

0:25:32 Speaker 5

Yeah. I want to talk to people who will have a real conversation with me, aren't afraid of being honest. I think that's a great way.

0:25:41 Speaker 4

Sometimes I'll leave a little food hanging out of my tooth to see if somebody will say, hey, you got a little something there. All right. Let me be honest with you right now. Both shoes are untied. Your zipper's down. You have snot hanging out of two nose. You need

0:25:51 Speaker 11

a haircut and you stink. Yeah. Yes. As somebody who's, I'm saying this about Sam over here, somebody who's about to get absolutely railed later.

0:26:01 Speaker 3

You're in the character.

0:26:03 Speaker 11

I'm in the character. Now, you should

0:26:05 Speaker 5

listen. I think you guys are blind to my game here. I think you're

0:26:09 Speaker 1

blind to what I'm doing here. 538 .com said you were statistically the least, the bar where people are the least vulnerable.

0:26:17 Speaker 5

We're not saying it. The numbers are saying it. Yeah, but everything starts from somewhere, right? Okay.

0:26:23 Speaker 1

I wasn't an incredible biology teacher the moment I was born. It took a lot of schooling, a lot of tries. I mean, look, we weren't restauranteurs when we got started in

0:26:34 Speaker 4

business. That's true. We all do need

0:26:36 Speaker 7

more

0:26:36 Speaker 5

grace. You have to start

0:26:36 Speaker 5

a little bit

0:26:37 Speaker 7

somewhere. You're great at making drinks. Yes. You just need to work on the bartender vibe. Okay.

0:26:48 Speaker 5

That's all. Well, okay, fine. I'll be open to this. Okay? I'll be open to this. What do you guys think I should do? Well, let's try one out. Okay. As a, Bill, as a sad person coming to get a drink. Yes. Let's see what would happen here. Okay. All right. If you can get into character, you did it so well twice already as someone who's seen my shows.

0:27:07 Speaker 7

Yes. As someone who, something about Sam.

0:27:12 Speaker 11

All right. All right. So.

0:27:15 Speaker 1

You're going to break that glass, Howard. Let's start over. It's an imaginary glass. You broke your imaginary glass. Can I please just have. Practice the way you're playing in the game.

0:27:24 Speaker 7

Yeah. Okay. I'm not going to touch a glass. All right. Okay. At least wipe the bar or something. Yeah.

0:27:30 Speaker 5

Okay. Great. What can I get you, big fella?

0:27:34 Speaker 7

Anything to take the pay. I'm not a big whatever. That's fine. Anything to take the pain away.

0:27:45 Speaker 5

Oh, I'm so sorry. Are you experiencing

0:27:48 Speaker 4

Sam party of two? Is there a Sam in the bar?

0:27:53 Speaker 7

All right. That's me.

0:27:56 Speaker 1

Oh, yeah. Yosemite Sam or a different Sam? I just

0:28:00 Speaker 5

got Sam here. It feels

0:28:02 Speaker 1

like. I'm on the menu as Yosemite, not menu of the list.

0:28:05 Speaker 5

I think we're getting a little too immersive with the role play

0:28:08 Speaker 1

here, guys. No. No clear thing just happened.

0:28:11 Speaker 7

No. No. I was trying to connect with this guy, and then for some fucking reason, you decided to be Yosemite Sam, who has never come into the bar,

0:28:19 Speaker 11

by the way, no matter how many times.

0:28:21 Speaker 5

I thought my character's name was Sam, and I had also put my name on

0:28:26 Speaker 4

to wait for a table. Well, you have to practice how you're going to play. There's going to be distractions

0:28:31 Speaker 11

when it's real time. So Yosemite Sam might come in and say he's on the menu, I mean list.

0:28:36 Speaker 4

I was surprised that Yosemite Sam was there. Yes. That's a surprise, but that

0:28:40 Speaker 1

may happen. That's a live note. That's a live

0:28:43 Speaker 4

note. No, but I'm surprised. I was inspired

0:28:44 Speaker 5

because my beautiful muse spoke, and I wanted to do something. Okay. Go ahead. Go ahead. It's getting hot. You are genius. You're so smart.

0:28:52 Speaker 1

Can we just keep it to maybe me and Bill at least for a minute? Sure. Of course. Sure.

0:28:59 Speaker 5

Okay. All right. Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. You're going through some kind of pain

0:29:05 Speaker 4

or something. Sam, part of two. Sorry, I

0:29:08 Speaker 5

thought you were starting over. You went back into the same exact thing.

0:29:11 Speaker 1

Yeah, you got to do a new one. I'm going to be a

0:29:13 Speaker 11

new person. Okay, new person. I'm

0:29:14 Speaker 3

new person. That guy

0:29:15 Speaker 10

was too depressed for me in my opinion. I was really nervous and sad about that guy. Did he want it all to end? Is that what he said? He said something to take

0:29:23 Speaker 5

the pain

0:29:24 Speaker 5

okay. Just a regular bar. I was like,

0:29:24 Speaker 7

away. Oh,

0:29:27 Speaker 7

hi.

0:29:28 Speaker 5

Jing -a -ling -a

0:29:28 Speaker 7

-ling. Hi.

0:29:30 Speaker 5

Like that bell that I installed on the door?

0:29:32 Speaker 7

Yeah, that was really nice. Could I get a drink for my two friends, Yosemite Sam and Sam?

0:29:43 Speaker 1

I'd like anything that could help me kill a rabbit.

0:29:46 Speaker 5

Okay, you're Yosemite Sam, huh?

0:29:48 Speaker 11

And I'm going to kill myself. Is that too much? Help him. Help him. Help me.

0:29:53 Speaker 1

Help my sad friend.

0:29:54 Speaker 11

Here, how about a - Hulk Hogan, party of two?

0:29:57 Speaker 1

That's me. Well, Hogan's suicidal.

0:30:01 Speaker 9

You know what? Where's Brooke? I got a reservation for me and my daughter. Help.

0:30:09 Speaker 9

sad. His daughter hasn't started to dinner. Brother. Brother, give me something.

0:30:09 Speaker 1

Hulk Hogan is

0:30:13 Speaker 5

My daughter didn't show up for our reservation. Hey, Hulk, you know, you're the best champion wrestling's ever had. I really needed to

0:30:21 Speaker 11

hear that.

0:30:22 Speaker 5

Yeah. Thank you. And I know you've said some pretty awful things.

0:30:27 Speaker 11

When?

0:30:28 Speaker 5

Quite a few times, actually. Really? You've said a few terrible things. Customer's always right. What have I

0:30:34 Speaker 11

said? And I agree with all the stuff that you said. Good. Once again, what were those things I

0:30:39 Speaker 5

said? And can you say them back to me if you agree with them? Well, there's that notorious video. You're going to have to challenge him to a match. Oh, I'm not going to. No. What do I do here? Okay. Ring the bell. Ring the bell.

0:30:57 Speaker 7

Are you challenging him to a match, brother? No, no, no. I'm going to

0:30:59 Speaker 9

end the thing. Don't wrestle

0:31:02 Speaker 1

him. Okay. I'll be the referee. I sound like Judge Mills Lane, but I'm your simity,

0:31:09 Speaker 5

Sam. Scene, scene, scene, scene. Woo.

0:31:13 Speaker 1

That was

0:31:13 Speaker 4

close. You almost got your

0:31:16 Speaker 1

head ripped off, Howard. I hated

0:31:17 Speaker 4

that.

0:31:18 Speaker 1

Howard, you never know who's going to be sad behind the bar. Hulk

0:31:21 Speaker 11

Hogan's missing his daughter. Those could possibly be the least complicated scenarios that you face on opening

0:31:28 Speaker 4

night, which is coming. Yeah, thank God Ultimate Warrior didn't come in. He'd have jumped up on the top of the bar and got

0:31:34 Speaker 11

you. You wouldn't have had near as much time.

0:31:37 Speaker 5

He

0:31:38 Speaker 7

would have moved a lot faster. He's always waiting

0:31:38 Speaker 5

for his daughter. Look. He's always brushing his hair. I just, you know, I just wish, I wish,

0:31:44 Speaker 11

for

0:31:45 Speaker 5

one second. I wish Hulk Hogan sold conditioner for your hair. I need that smooth silk. I need that

0:31:52 Speaker 4

smooth silk. 50 % sunscreen, 50 % conditioner.

0:31:56 Speaker 11

Well, it has to be if he's using it for

0:31:58 Speaker 10

both. Wait, so

0:32:00 Speaker 10

he only uses sunscreen on his hair, so his whole body gets really tan and his hair is white.

0:32:00 Speaker 4

you're saying

0:32:08 Speaker 2

Yeah,

0:32:08 Speaker 9

his hair won't get tan.

0:32:10 Speaker 10

That's how he keeps his hair so untanned.

0:32:13 Speaker 9

His hair is alabaster pale.

0:32:17 Speaker 1

That's why Hollywood Hogan, he took the sunscreen out of

0:32:20 Speaker 9

hair. Wow.

0:32:20 Speaker 4

his

0:32:22 Speaker 4

Well, and he did the reverse of plugs. He went to Turkey and got all the top pulled out.

0:32:27 Speaker 11

Right. So that there will never be a single follicle that ever. Turkey

0:32:31 Speaker 4

came here. Pulled out all of his top hair. Turkey flew here on a third rate airline.

0:32:38 Speaker 11

Oh, my God. Turkey came here in a little van. It was a beautiful little thing. And

0:32:45 Speaker 4

they plucked all of Hogan's hairs.

0:32:47 Speaker 1

It was the exact opposite of what people do.

0:32:53 Speaker 4

Talk about Hogan's zeros.

0:32:54 Speaker 1

He is loving Turkey for life. Oh, my God. Turkey came here. I heard he gave up ham,

0:32:58 Speaker 4

but confused. He was

0:33:00 Speaker 1

confused about what he was doing. He looked in the mirror and he went, I'm giving up ham.

0:33:04 Speaker 4

I love Turkey now.

0:33:06 Speaker 1

Howard, I appreciate you going through that thought experiment. And I hope that just like me, you will take some of the feedback.

0:33:13 Speaker 4

What is the feedback? It's that you. Wow.

0:33:19 Speaker 5

Learn from your own mistake. I don't know that I made a mistake.

0:33:23 Speaker 1

You present disgusting. Listen to

0:33:26 Speaker 11

a man and his

0:33:27 Speaker 1

muse.

0:33:28 Speaker 11

Thank you.

0:33:29 Speaker 1

Okay, fine. You know what? This week I'm going

0:33:30 Speaker 11

to do. You inspired me, Bill. No.

0:33:33 Speaker 3

No.

0:33:35 Speaker 8

Ooh.

0:33:36 Speaker 5

I can't wait to get fucked later and then make food shaped like me. Come on over tonight. You know what? What time? What time? When are you

0:33:45 Speaker 8

coming over? All right.

0:33:46 Speaker 4

Have the door

0:33:47 Speaker 11

unlocked and be in the bedroom. Jesus Christ.

0:33:50 Speaker 4

That was so sexy. Be in the bedroom. That was so

0:33:53 Speaker 1

sexy. Oh, my God. A lot of bees in the bedroom. Yeah.

0:33:57 Speaker 4

You're going to have to work.

0:34:00 Speaker 1

I can't wait. Don't stick you with honey. Let the bee into the bedroom.

0:34:03 Speaker 4

Right. The last text I send is, yeah, come on over. By the way, bees in the bedroom.

0:34:10 Speaker 5

You get it, right? I get it.

0:34:13 Speaker 1

I'm going to change it all. The bar now, we're going upscale. We're changing it all. We're going to change it all up. I'm going to wear little suspenders. I'm going to get all

0:34:21 Speaker 11

the little bartender. I like this. I'm going to wear a

0:34:25 Speaker 0

bow tie, white shirt, black pants, black shoes. I'm going to be

0:34:28 Speaker 1

really. Cadillac.

0:34:29 Speaker 4

Yeah.

0:34:32 Speaker 5

This boy's a time

0:34:33 Speaker 1

bomb. He is rancid. I'll tell you

0:34:37 Speaker 5

that much.

0:34:37 Speaker 1

I

0:34:38 Speaker 5

think I smell fun. Howard, no. I think you're doing fun. I think that the big swings is not what we need. We're about to open. The drinks are popular. Your filthy water is a hit. It just got featured in LA Mag. Yes. Yes. And yes, I do know that there is some grumblings on social media about the filthy water

0:34:56 Speaker 1

causing Giardia. It's causing a lot of problems. A lot of people are saying it is changing their DNA in some

0:35:09 Speaker 4

fashion. Into Giardia. Okay. It's a water disease. And I'm going to

0:35:14 Speaker 8

get ahead of it. My drinks are not turning you into Giardia. Okay.

0:35:21 Speaker 1

I don't know. I don't know. You know, obviously you can't believe everything you see on social

0:35:27 Speaker 5

media. No, you

0:35:27 Speaker 1

can't. People come out and say that I am an anti -feminist or

0:35:31 Speaker 4

whatever. Okay, moving on.

0:35:32 Speaker 1

Whatever. You can't believe that stuff right

0:35:35 Speaker 0

away. You got to look into the person's history. But with the Giardia

0:35:38 Speaker 5

video. You can do apology video.

0:35:42 Speaker 1

Please. I can send you my guy.

0:35:44 Speaker 5

I think I'll hire my own team, Todd.

0:35:46 Speaker 4

You should hire Pink's crew. Oh, yeah. You really want to do a cool big production for your

0:35:52 Speaker 11

apology. Yeah. How's your core strength? You want to come in on wire. Of course. Throw yourself down holding a little piece of string and let your body get flipped around until you

0:35:59 Speaker 7

hit the floor.

0:36:01 Speaker 5

How is your core strength? Not very good, but I can get

0:36:03 Speaker 7

there. Yeah. We'll get you there.

0:36:05 Speaker 5

Yeah. What about the strength on the edge of your body? Feet and top of head? Comparable.

0:36:12 Speaker 7

All week.

0:36:12 Speaker 5

I would say

0:36:13 Speaker 7

every inch of my body is the same. The mantle.

0:36:16 Speaker 7

crust.

0:36:16 Speaker 5

Yeah. Or

0:36:17 Speaker 5

The crust.

0:36:17 Speaker 7

That's the crust. What's your crust

0:36:19 Speaker 5

strength?

0:36:19 Speaker 7

My crust strength is, I would say, comparable to my core.

0:36:24 Speaker 1

I do want to talk Bill a little bit since you are kind of the one. We put you on the hot seat last week.

0:36:31 Speaker 10

Yes. We

0:36:32 Speaker 0

recorded your experience with customers. Chaotic. And we made some changes. But I want to know if there's anything that we can do as a team to help you out there on the floor since you're out there the most.

0:36:45 Speaker 11

What are you seeing

0:36:46 Speaker 1

in the game, as it were? I

0:36:48 Speaker 11

mean, I think we are, you know, it's hard to say. I think just anticipating the restaurant's next move. You know, we know kind of now when the rush is going to be. We know when we're going to

0:37:06 Speaker 1

have a big cleaning time.

0:37:09 Speaker 11

A big exodus. We were shocked by the 7 p .m. dinner rush last night.

0:37:12 Speaker 4

When everybody had just gone on break.

0:37:15 Speaker 1

You had just sent everyone in the kitchen on break. All right. 7 p .m. Yeah. Break.

0:37:19 Speaker 3

do an hour. Let's eat.

0:37:19 Speaker 11

Let's

0:37:21 Speaker 11

Let's eat for an hour. That was really tough. Yeah. And then there was another break around 9 .30 when everybody was leaving. Don't anybody touch these washing machines.

0:37:34 Speaker 1

Yeah. Dishwashers, you're off for the night. Dishwashers, go

0:37:37 Speaker 11

home.

0:37:37 Speaker 1

It's a night break. So

0:37:40 Speaker 11

we kind of repaired that. We're prepared now for people to come from like 7 to 10 p .m. And then the drinkers to come from 10 to 2. I'm interested. We did put up a limited menu on Grubhub, Uber Eats, Lyft, Meals. Stuber Eats. Stuber.

0:37:58 Speaker 4

Is it Grubhub? I thought it was Grubhub.

0:38:02 Speaker 11

It's Grubhub.

0:38:03 Speaker 4

It's Grubhub. It's people talking about food and eventually they order it. Okay. Okay. They hub hub about it.

0:38:09 Speaker 11

Uh -huh. Grubbaloo. Grubbaloo.

0:38:13 Speaker 4

Grubbaloo.

0:38:13 Speaker 11

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I like Grubbaloo because they're prices.

0:38:17 Speaker 1

Yes. They are a little bit cheaper. And we thought this would be helpful for us to get into the delivery game. People try our food 45 minutes after it's been in someone's car. And they go, oh, wow. I wonder what this would be like in person.

0:38:31 Speaker 11

Yeah. Is it always this kind of watery, steamed up, bad, cold? Yeah.

0:38:35 Speaker 1

Yeah. It's really amazing to watch what people will eat to simply not leave their house.

0:38:42 Speaker 3

Like where that Venn diagram of trash meets laziness.

0:38:49 Speaker 1

Yes. And how

0:38:50 Speaker 11

much they'll

0:38:50 Speaker 1

pay. Yes. And suffer. And no one wants to eat

0:38:54 Speaker 11

something right when it's done.

0:38:57 Speaker 1

I think a great thing that we're doing is we are taking all these orders, taking all these deliveries, but we have not changed our staff at all. The same amount of people in the kitchen, the same amount of people working at the restaurant.

0:39:06 Speaker 5

No, we

0:39:07 Speaker 1

also don't have to -go containers.

0:39:11 Speaker 11

No. Well, our non -negotiable was all to -go containers must not be breathable. Trap condensation. Do up the food.

0:39:24 Speaker 4

Non -crisp. We also want to save money, so we kind of do it how Costco does it. We

0:39:28 Speaker 11

don't actually order containers. We just use the boxes from the food we've ordered.

0:39:33 Speaker 1

Yeah, so you're just getting your food

0:39:34 Speaker 11

in a big pickle box. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Big plate of nachos in an old tomato can. Like that's what we do.

0:39:43 Speaker 5

Yeah, yeah. And it's kind of catchy.

0:39:44 Speaker 11

People actually

0:39:45 Speaker 5

like it. Yeah, the chicken parm goes out in the little tray that the raw chicken was in. Yes. Yes.

0:39:52 Speaker 4

Full

0:39:53 Speaker 11

Yes. The

0:39:53 Speaker 5

life.

0:39:54 Speaker 5

circle of

0:39:55 Speaker 11

life. We send out little rice balls in old toilet paper centers. Yeah.

0:40:05 Speaker 4

It just makes perfect sense.

0:40:07 Speaker 11

Whatever we got around.

0:40:08 Speaker 4

The fried pickle also in toilet paper centers.

0:40:11 Speaker 11

You think you use

0:40:12 Speaker 4

toilet paper centers. Beef diaper, of course. We got a lot of those that we send stuff out. I've been trying to get rid of that inventory for years. And we have actually been approached by the global footprint people. And they said our global footprint is too low.

0:40:28 Speaker 10

They're like, just start using plastics, please. They're like, you're hovering. There's no footprint. You

0:40:36 Speaker 11

simply must use some

0:40:38 Speaker 5

plastics. And I believe we are the only entity on the planet Earth that has that distinction from

0:40:44 Speaker 11

the people tracking carbon footprint. Delta is now paying us to reverse some of their shit that they put in the

0:40:51 Speaker 1

air. Yeah, we're

0:40:52 Speaker 4

offsetting Delta. They won't let me fly on it still, which is ridiculous.

0:40:59 Speaker 11

Right. You kill one pilot mid -flight, and then they won't let you fly? It's unbelievable that that's immediately a felony.

0:41:06 Speaker 4

In your defense, you thought he was stealing the plane. Yes. Of course. Why was he going so fast? He was driving it like you stole it. And I had to get up there and be like, whoa, whoa, whoa. How

0:41:19 Speaker 9

fast did you get to San Jose? Why else would you be driving a plane 500 miles an hour unless it's

0:41:24 Speaker 4

stolen? We're so high up where the cops can't get you. Okay, we get it.

0:41:29 Speaker 1

You were the last time in defense. You were scared. Stolen. Yeah. Gee. You were expecting every plane ride to be ground to ground about 40

0:41:36 Speaker 2

miles an hour.

0:41:37 Speaker 1

When they take off, you think it's a thief.

0:41:39 Speaker 10

Absolutely. When that thing starts really pumping on the runway, you're

0:41:43 Speaker 1

like, oh,

0:41:44 Speaker 9

fuck. Here we go again. Okay, he's up front. I'm in a stolen plane again. This happens literally every time.

0:41:51 Speaker 4

Here we go again.

0:41:54 Speaker 11

Sawed off

0:41:55 Speaker 4

shotgun. Somehow you've gotten on. Hang on.

0:41:59 Speaker 11

Hang on. I bring it on in a lot of little pieces. First of all, I take the end, the sawed off part. It's two barrels. I put it in my hair like it's chopsticks.

0:42:09 Speaker 3

Right. That's how I put my hair up. Chris Kirkpatrick style. Kirkpatrick style. And then

0:42:15 Speaker 9

I use the butt

0:42:18 Speaker 1

of the gun as my wooden shoe. Nobody take this, by the way. It works. Oh, yeah. Don't take this. What do we have? About 7 ,000 to 10 ,000 terrorist listeners. You cannot take this idea.

0:42:31 Speaker 4

Trigger is, of course, earring. It's just Kirkpatrick. He was the original gun on a plane guy. Let's see.

0:42:41 Speaker 1

One moment. I'm getting a call from one of our perspective hires.

0:42:43 Speaker 4

Oh, this is good.

0:42:45 Speaker 1

Hi, honey. Click.

0:42:50 Speaker 4

No one wants to work anymore. No one wants to work anymore. You seemed pretty

0:42:54 Speaker 1

inspired, though.

0:42:56 Speaker 4

You seemed really inspired right in front of everybody.

0:42:59 Speaker 5

Baby.

0:43:00 Speaker 4

This is why we don't do this. Hey, don't forget about me. We need to

0:43:05 Speaker 5

take a break and have a sex. Beautiful.

0:43:09 Speaker 4

We need a sex break. Howard,

0:43:11 Speaker 5

you can't come. Well, we're about to open. Your

0:43:15 Speaker 4

body is defuncted. I'm going to prove it one of these days. Howard, I dare you to show me Exodus.

0:43:25 Speaker 9

Okay, wait. Who ordered cock cages on the Amazon? It's the whole pantry.

0:43:33 Speaker 4

Yeah, we only needed four.

0:43:36 Speaker 5

They're egg

0:43:37 Speaker 4

holders. Sure,

0:43:40 Speaker 9

they

0:43:41 Speaker 4

are. They are. Sure, they are. They're egg holders.

0:43:45 Speaker 9

By the way, Howard,

0:43:47 Speaker 4

I walked past your room the other night. You're using them wrong. You're only supposed to use it one at a time. You're not using it on the right area.

0:43:58 Speaker 3

It looks like you have leeches.

0:44:01 Speaker 4

You're very close. But they are not egg holders. They are egg holders.

0:44:10 Speaker 5

I swear they're

0:44:11 Speaker 11

egg holders. Oh, my gosh.

0:44:12 Speaker 5

All right. Yeah, we got to take a break. BRB.

0:44:14 Speaker 11

BRB. Yeah. I mean, we're going to have to open in a second, and I think all these fucking

0:44:19 Speaker 5

critics are going to be here.

0:44:21 Speaker 4

Second half is going to be short today, folks.

0:44:21 Speaker 1

Right.

0:44:23 Speaker 1

All right. Bye. Bye. Five, ten minutes. Okay. Critics of the Hamilton community. My name is Todd Padre, head chef and co -owner of Meadle Juices. I appreciate you all being here today for our critics open

0:44:42 Speaker 0

session. So the way this will work is I'm just going to be giving you the courses of our meals and different drinks and, yeah, taking the smells.

0:44:55 Speaker 1

We like a nice blank slate to start with. Just cleansing our nose. Wonderful. I want to say at the beginning that even though historically creatives like myself have an antagonistic relationship with critics.

0:45:12 Speaker 4

Sorry. We just need to clear the passageway where any

0:45:14 Speaker 5

flavor or smell might still exist. Clearing the nose, clearing the throat, clearing the mouth.

0:45:21 Speaker 4

Yes.

0:45:22 Speaker 1

Feel free to use the spittoons. Oh, whoa. All around on that one. Good aim.

0:45:30 Speaker 2

Oh.

0:45:35 Speaker 7

Sorry. So sorry.

0:45:37 Speaker 1

Sorry. Of course. So sorry, Mr. Padre.

0:45:40 Speaker 5

Chef Padre.

0:45:41 Speaker 1

Sorry. Yeah. Very sorry. Yeah. Chef Padre.

0:45:43 Speaker 5

Very sorry. Thank you so much for having me. We respect you, Chef.

0:45:46 Speaker 1

Mr. Padre was my Fadre. You can call me Chef Padre. Just a little

0:45:50 Speaker 4

joke.

0:45:51 Speaker 11

off. Chef Padre. Chef Padre. Was his Fadre. Yes.

0:45:51 Speaker 11

Call you

0:45:51 Speaker 4

what? Just start it all

0:45:57 Speaker 1

So as I was saying, I know historically creatives like myself have an antagonistic relationship with critics because you all don't make anything. You all don't

0:46:06 Speaker 5

do anything. You all just come in here. And I'm not reading into the height at which you're standing and the depth at which we are sitting.

0:46:14 Speaker 4

Yeah. Did you dig a pit? I feel like we're the orchestra.

0:46:18 Speaker 1

Well, yeah. That's a good observation. You're where you belong and I'm where I belong, wouldn't you say? But all that aside, I am curious to hear your reviews and I'm excited to see. I assure you and I'm confident that once you try everything we have here at Meadal Juices, you'll be writing very wonderful reviews for us.

0:46:36 Speaker 4

Just one quick question. I didn't read my email brief when I came, but I'm looking at the name. Will we be eating both meat and juice?

0:46:45 Speaker 1

Well, Meadal Juice is more of a person and a character and

0:46:49 Speaker 4

what we provide. So it's not really your expectation of what we have here, meat and juice, though we do have both of those on the menu. I'll put that in my note.

0:46:57 Speaker 1

Yes. Just like it's somewhere like Cracker Barrel. It's not that you're eating a

0:47:02 Speaker 4

cracker

0:47:02 Speaker 11

or a barrel.

0:47:04 Speaker 11

of the place. Yeah. Cracker Barrel is sort of a character.

0:47:04 Speaker 1

It's more the name

0:47:08 Speaker 1

Yes. The Cracker Barrel that

0:47:10 Speaker 11

we all kind of know and love.

0:47:12 Speaker 1

Okay. So speaking of Cracker Barrel, I'll get you ignoramuses some food to start

0:47:18 Speaker 4

off here. Okay. Good. Good. Familiar with that term. It's the game at Cracker Barrel.

0:47:24 Speaker 1

What we all have on your table in front of you right now first is tap water, no ice, sparkling water with ice, or gas water with gauze.

0:47:36 Speaker 4

So that's a little more European style.

0:47:38 Speaker 3

With gauze, which is.

0:47:39 Speaker 4

I smell the gas. I definitely smell the

0:47:42 Speaker 1

gauze.

0:47:44 Speaker 4

So we're going to try the waters first, just the different waters. Why wouldn't you?

0:47:49 Speaker 1

And explain the difference between sparkling water and water with gauze. And who is that? Is that Roger? Roger. Yes.

0:47:58 Speaker 11

From the Sentinel.

0:47:59 Speaker 1

Roger from the Sentinel. Roger. Hi. Good to

0:48:01 Speaker 11

see you. I just want to remind you, we did sink the

0:48:07 Speaker 1

Bloody Pig barbecue restaurant.

0:48:12 Speaker 8

So our

0:48:13 Speaker 11

review really does. You're going to want a good review from us.

0:48:18 Speaker 4

Well, and not to argue with you as a fellow critic, but I don't know how much your review sank the Bloody Pig and how much their imagery and title of their restaurant did.

0:48:30 Speaker 1

It's a

0:48:31 Speaker 11

slaughterhouse themed restaurant.

0:48:32 Speaker 4

Disgusting restaurant. Don't think you have that much power.

0:48:35 Speaker 11

Well, I will say you are very powerful that you were able to revive the Bloody Pig by giving it a dissent. You gave my review a dissent. Yes. And I applaud that dissent.

0:48:53 Speaker 4

Well, and my review of the Bloody Pig was 10 packs of gauze all the way up.

0:48:57 Speaker 11

Right. And that was the first time you ever used gauze as part of your

0:49:04 Speaker 5

judging system. Yes. Which a lot of people say revolutionized the criticism. Which now we're all using. We all use gauze.

0:49:10 Speaker 9

Gauzes. I'm done with thumbs.

0:49:12 Speaker 1

I hope to get a full mummy's wrapping here. Oh, well, you're not

0:49:18 Speaker 10

Plimpy's

0:49:19 Speaker 1

sandwich.

0:49:21 Speaker 10

Okay.

0:49:22 Speaker 4

The only people getting a mummy wrap is a Plimpy. The number

0:49:26 Speaker 5

six at Plimpy is

0:49:28 Speaker 2

just incredible. This is where all critics agree. The number six Plimpy is mummy -licious. It's mummy -licious. It's getting the five

0:49:37 Speaker 9

mummies up. It's fully wrapped five mummy. The best thing you could be is fully wrapped.

0:49:45 Speaker 10

You wish you could be a number six at Plimpy's five mummies up fully wrapped.

0:49:50 Speaker 1

I appreciate y 'all's perspective. I do love what you do. And I want you to like me, of course. But I think that the rapidity of how your review system changes makes it very hard for the consumer to know what's a good review or not. Oh, there's a rubric. Let

0:50:06 Speaker 10

us use the words like rapidity

0:50:09 Speaker 1

in the review. Okay. You keep to the normal word.

0:50:13 Speaker 4

If I were to write my review right now, it would be Rashidity. I

0:50:18 Speaker 9

give that word five mummies up. Gauze wrapped. Wrapped them up? I

0:50:25 Speaker 10

give it simply 12 tombs.

0:50:29 Speaker 5

Rashidity. We're on the

0:50:30 Speaker 2

tombs now? Yes.

0:50:31 Speaker 5

And if I were to review both of your reviews, I would give it a single The Great Pyramid.

0:50:36 Speaker 10

Well, thank you so much, and I would raise your Great Pyramid to two arms stiff out front, walking slowly at you.

0:50:45 Speaker 9

Anyway, you have water with gauze,

0:50:48 Speaker 10

bubbly water, and tap water. And the bubbly water has ice in it.

0:50:51 Speaker 5

Yes. Okay, good. So you have different experiences of it. And where is this gauze sourced from?

0:50:58 Speaker 1

Good question. It is the, I believe that is natural gauze. Fracking. Oh,

0:51:05 Speaker 4

I thought it might have been an exon gauze. So it's a lot of the earthquakes

0:51:08 Speaker 0

you've been feeling around town. That's us fracking to get enough gauze for the water. Oh, a little bit of fire off of the gauze here.

0:51:15 Speaker 9

Careful.

0:51:16 Speaker 11

So,

0:51:17 Speaker 9

all right, and now we're moving on to the cocktails. Of course, there is our TikTok famous cocktail, Filthy Water.

0:51:25 Speaker 3

Right, we've

0:51:26 Speaker 5

heard of it.

0:51:26 Speaker 1

And our bartender, Howard Levis. Shit in his nose, Levis. Yes, of course.

0:51:32 Speaker 5

Is that what they're

0:51:33 Speaker 11

calling? It makes it very relatable, I

0:51:35 Speaker 5

do find. I

0:51:36 Speaker 1

give the

0:51:36 Speaker 4

shit coming out of his nose five

0:51:39 Speaker 11

raps.

0:51:41 Speaker 4

And are we going to get to see the bartender mix a drink in front of us today?

0:51:44 Speaker 1

He will be mixing a drink right behind me right here. Is

0:51:47 Speaker 4

he with us now? He is. There he is. Okay. If the bartender is

0:51:51 Speaker 1

with us now, please make yourself

0:51:54 Speaker 5

known. I'm right here. I'm not a ghost, sir. I'm right

0:51:56 Speaker 4

here. If the bartender... Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! I

0:52:01 Speaker 5

can't believe I summoned him with one request.

0:52:04 Speaker 9

Wow! Todd.

0:52:05 Speaker 1

Live in person.

0:52:07 Speaker 9

Five raps of a mummy. Todd, what the hell's

0:52:10 Speaker 1

going on out here? Raps of a mummy for the ghost. I didn't know. I had no idea that the critics of our town were so obsessed with the supernatural. Oh, wow.

0:52:17 Speaker 5

But they seem to be at least at this moment. Well, hey there, fellas. Oh!

0:52:22 Speaker 2

Oh!

0:52:22 Speaker 5

Werewolf about! Werewolf about! Not necessarily that might just be a dog.

0:52:29 Speaker 2

Or that might just be you doing

0:52:30 Speaker 10

the sound. I'll also say if... It was me.

0:52:33 Speaker 5

I'm sorry.

0:52:34 Speaker 10

Scratch it out. No

0:52:35 Speaker 5

mummies for the

0:52:36 Speaker 10

werewolf

0:52:36 Speaker 5

sound. I, of course, would love to make you all a delicious filthy water. I also want to get

0:52:43 Speaker 9

out ahead of it. Yes! And make sure that when you write your reviews, make sure that there's a comment from me, the bartender, that says this drink does not give you or turn you into Giardia.

0:52:51 Speaker 1

Don't even say the word. Don't even say the word. Don't put it in their heads. Don't put it in their heads. I'm sorry. Strike it from the record.

0:52:56 Speaker 4

So this is the Giardia cocktail.

0:52:59 Speaker 5

Don't

0:52:59 Speaker 1

know. It's the

0:53:00 Speaker 8

water. Plimpties. Plimptons. Plimpies. Plimpies. Plimpies. This is reminding me of Plimpies.

0:53:00 Speaker 4

filthy

0:53:08 Speaker 1

Smells like Plimpies. And so what we like to pair with the filthy water now off of the appetizers is our take on the Bloomin' Onion. Why do Australians have to be the only ones who fry an

0:53:22 Speaker 10

onion? Oh, I thought this was the beginning of a joke.

0:53:25 Speaker 1

It is? Sorry. Delivery?

0:53:27 Speaker 2

Oh, good, good, good. Nice.

0:53:29 Speaker 1

Yes, yes. I was ready. You

0:53:32 Speaker 10

messed with my rhythm of the joke.

0:53:33 Speaker 11

I'm

0:53:34 Speaker 10

so

0:53:34 Speaker 4

sorry. Let's all just take a

0:53:35 Speaker 11

big sip of the dirty water

0:53:37 Speaker 1

and start over again here.

0:53:39 Speaker 11

Why do Australians

0:53:41 Speaker 1

get to be the only ones who determine how we eat an onion?

0:53:47 Speaker 4

Yeah, that is a good

0:53:49 Speaker 1

point. Why is it? You cannot interrupt the joke. It messes with the rhythm. Todd, Todd,

0:53:55 Speaker 5

calm down. Seinfeld. Todd, calm

0:53:56 Speaker 1

down. Calm down. I thought it was a danger field. I thought it was a danger field. Danger field. All these guys. Gutfeld. These guys are all about rhythm and timing.

0:54:06 Speaker 11

Simply one word can ruin an entire joke.

0:54:09 Speaker 1

Thank you. It's alchemy. It's math. It's science. I'm skipping the joke. The whole point here is we have an onion.

0:54:16 Speaker 11

I'm giving the joke two little slits open for just your eyes.

0:54:21 Speaker 1

Still, that's good. So the mummy can see, I think. The jokes aren't really. The customers aren't going to hear the jokes. That was just for us.

0:54:29 Speaker 10

was me. I'm sorry. God, I was so hopeful. So sorry.

0:54:29 Speaker 9

It

0:54:33 Speaker 4

I normally don't ask a question. I normally just review and move on. This is called the Bloomin' Onion.

0:54:40 Speaker 1

Yes.

0:54:41 Speaker 4

It is a completely untouched onion.

0:54:44 Speaker 1

Uh -huh.

0:54:46 Speaker 4

Why? Okay. So we wait for the onion. Why? The chef comes in front of your table and blooms the onion, which means they dice it in front of you. They cut it up.

0:54:56 Speaker 11

Awesome. So it's kind of table side bloom.

0:54:58 Speaker 1

Table side bloom.

0:54:59 Speaker 1

And I'm seeing you've brought a huge pot of boiling oil to the next

0:54:59 Speaker 11

plot.

0:54:59 Speaker 5

Table side

0:55:04 Speaker 11

door.

0:55:05 Speaker 1

fry it next

0:55:05 Speaker 1

Yes. And then

0:55:05 Speaker 5

we'll

0:55:06 Speaker 5

to the table.

0:55:07 Speaker 4

Seems like that oil. That's a big knife. I would almost call it a sword.

0:55:10 Speaker 5

Yes. And I'd say that oil is a little too hot. I can see the thermometer. It's at 500 degrees.

0:55:14 Speaker 1

That's exactly what it should be at for

0:55:16 Speaker 5

a quick fry and soft

0:55:17 Speaker 11

on the inside. Yes. On the edge of a fully lighted flame. We love that. And the flame, of course, on my own kind of sawhorse that I made myself out of two street signs that I have put sideways and stood these on top of. Good. Both stop signs. I heard crashes out front.

0:55:39 Speaker 1

You took the stops. I'm assuming. I forgive the tears. It's, you know, I'm

0:55:44 Speaker 2

chopping onions here. Of course. Of course. Of course. It tastes like tables. I walk. Every time it gets the experience. All right. And now plop. I love it. Five. Five. Here comes the

0:55:57 Speaker 9

plop. Oh. No battering whatsoever. No batter. Yes. No batter. Interesting.

0:56:07 Speaker 4

Simply raw fried

0:56:08 Speaker 9

onion. No batter, but

0:56:10 Speaker 4

much

0:56:11 Speaker 2

bladder. Ouch. Ouch

0:56:11 Speaker 4

my

0:56:11 Speaker 2

face.

0:56:12 Speaker 4

Yes.

0:56:12 Speaker 5

Ouch my chest.

0:56:14 Speaker 9

Ouch my hands. Okay.

0:56:16 Speaker 5

Let's.

0:56:18 Speaker 9

Wait. I need bandages.

0:56:20 Speaker 1

Yes. Yes.

0:56:22 Speaker 2

Yes. Whoa. A

0:56:23 Speaker 4

surprise change. This

0:56:24 Speaker 2

meal. Wrap me

0:56:25 Speaker 4

up.

0:56:26 Speaker 1

Wrap me up.

0:56:27 Speaker 9

So one of you is wrapping

0:56:28 Speaker 4

your head. One's wrapping your eyes, chest, and hands. I'll just wrap the part of you that burned right now.

0:56:34 Speaker 3

Okay. Which was

0:56:36 Speaker 0

chest for you, I believe. Chest for me. All right. Jesus. I didn't realize this was going to be so interactive.

0:56:42 Speaker 1

All right. One blooming with the real G, American onion.

0:56:49 Speaker 11

That'll pair with your filthy water. Okay.

0:56:52 Speaker 4

Okay. So this is a. But

0:56:53 Speaker 3

also burnt. Yes. Raw but cooked.

0:56:57 Speaker 4

Yeah.

0:56:58 Speaker 5

I'll say this. It's a flavor I've never tasted before. Good.

0:57:02 Speaker 4

That's what we're going to do. As a food critic, I've never tasted

0:57:04 Speaker 11

onion before. It's no

0:57:06 Speaker 4

plimpies.

0:57:07 Speaker 11

Yes.

0:57:07 Speaker 1

But I do.

0:57:09 Speaker 4

I feel like we shouldn't have reviewed plimpies so early

0:57:12 Speaker 1

altogether.

0:57:14 Speaker 2

I told you to not come having had.

0:57:17 Speaker 2

plimpies right

0:57:17 Speaker 4

We hit

0:57:18 Speaker 4

before. Listen.

0:57:19 Speaker 5

And gave the best

0:57:20 Speaker 4

review of our lives.

0:57:21 Speaker 9

And you know the perspective of everyone in this town. If you're

0:57:24 Speaker 4

driving past. Do we have mustard on

0:57:26 Speaker 9

our face? Do we have a bunch of mustard in my face?

0:57:29 Speaker 4

I know. I got the meatball side. But am I covered in marinar? And listen. Is he covered in marinar? Kidding. Kidding.

0:57:39 Speaker 5

You can't expect someone to drive past a plimpies and not get a number six. There's not a plimpies anywhere near the route to this place. But we still drove past it. We went out of our way. We

0:57:49 Speaker 1

drove past. Day trip to plimpies.

0:57:52 Speaker 9

Are we

0:57:53 Speaker 2

kidding?

0:57:56 Speaker 1

I give this. You are so scared that we'll take it seriously. You give us no time to actually notice the dog. You're right. You're right. You're right.

0:58:08 Speaker 10

I don't want people that excited. But I do want to make the noise.

0:58:11 Speaker 4

Mr. Padraig. Can we be honest with you?

0:58:13 Speaker 1

Please. Please.

0:58:15 Speaker 4

We hate reviewing food.

0:58:17 Speaker 5

don't like

0:58:17 Speaker 10

We

0:58:18 Speaker 10

it. We're stuck in a job we hate.

0:58:19 Speaker 4

We've all. We're

0:58:20 Speaker 5

just friends. We just want to eat plimpies every day. I'll be honest. If my perfect life. Plimpies isn't good. My perfect life. Mr. Padre. My perfect life would be eating a plimpies and then going to work at some sort of scare attraction. Like a

0:58:36 Speaker 8

haunted house. Slide on our knees up to a couple and go boo. Okay. I give

0:58:41 Speaker 2

the Blooming

0:58:42 Speaker 4

Onion one. And I give it an Amun Ra.

0:58:50 Speaker 10

I give it a Beetle. Wait. I give it actually.

0:58:54 Speaker 5

Hang on.

0:58:55 Speaker 10

I mean it's scary.

0:58:57 Speaker 5

He's scary.

0:58:58 Speaker 10

So it's less. Hang on. Hang on. Shh. Shh. I give it a.

0:59:02 Speaker 9

Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. What do you give it? I

0:59:04 Speaker 4

give it one Brendan

0:59:05 Speaker 5

Fraser. One Brendan

0:59:07 Speaker 9

Beetle Fraser mummy up. I'm changing my review. I'm giving it a Billy Zane eight leg. An eight legged Billy Zane. So this is

0:59:16 Speaker 2

less like two beetles for me. I'm changing two beetles. And he's here. That was me. I'm

0:59:24 Speaker 4

sorry. Damn. I thought we were going to see

0:59:29 Speaker 2

a werewolf in this Beetlejuice. Which one? Is it supernatural?

0:59:34 Speaker 4

Is it

0:59:35 Speaker 1

supernatural or is it

0:59:37 Speaker 2

specifically mummy stuff? Where is our

0:59:39 Speaker 9

meat and where is our juice? It's okay. And where is

0:59:41 Speaker 1

Beetlejuice the character? Don't say it one more time. He'll

0:59:44 Speaker 9

show up. Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice. Beetlejuice, go back in there. Okay. Thank God. I

0:59:50 Speaker 4

love him that bad. Scary, but went away quick. I see why the whole restaurant is themed around him.

0:59:57 Speaker 11

Listen, we're going to give you great reviews. Yes.

0:59:59 Speaker 4

Thank you. Oh, my God. If

1:00:00 Speaker 11

you will drive us to Plimpy's. Yes. Right now. Let's

1:00:04 Speaker 1

go back. Seriously, Mr.

1:00:05 Speaker 11

Padre. You want to stop trying our food and you just want to go to

1:00:09 Speaker 2

Plimpy's. We'll do anything. Mr. Padre.

1:00:11 Speaker 4

We'll juice your review if you take us to Plimpy's.

1:00:13 Speaker 1

We'll

1:00:13 Speaker 2

juice your review. Let us juice you. Okay. Just like they juiced the Plimpy right at the end. Oh. You've got to get the Plimpy with juice. And then you've got to make them sop up the board with the bread. Plim. Slide the Plim. Plim. Slide the Plimpy's. Plimpy's. Sop up the board. Hang on. Plim. All right. Good year Plimpy's. Good year Plimpy's. Is that

1:00:34 Speaker 9

your

1:00:35 Speaker 2

car?

1:00:35 Speaker 1

Yeah, this should be perfectly easy. I just need to get it out of this parallel park

1:00:38 Speaker 9

here and then I can drive you to Plimpy's. Come with me. Come with me. Okay. Okay. Okay.

1:00:42 Speaker 1

We're back to you. Your car is squeezed in. Is this the Ghostbusters car? Oh my God. I love the backstory.

1:00:48 Speaker 9

I love

1:00:48 Speaker 1

the backstory of Slimer. It was the Ghostbusters car. Now it's the Toddbusters

1:00:53 Speaker 4

car. We've got a whole bed set up in the back here. What's that for? Oh my God. That's where I sleep.

1:00:59 Speaker 9

I sleep.

1:01:00 Speaker 1

Okay.

1:01:01 Speaker 4

Yeah.

1:01:03 Speaker 4

smells like sex in here. Were you fucking your co -workers? Let's just say that's where the magic happens. Do not tell me you were plimping Slimer.

1:01:03 Speaker 9

It

1:01:13 Speaker 1

You were plimping Slimer? Mr. Padre. Chef Padre, did you plimp Slimer in here? I don't know if he'll change the reviews, but yeah, I plimped Slimer. We're giving you no mummies. What? No mummies. What is your

1:01:25 Speaker 4

barometer? You do not use plimpy for anything other than the sub. I didn't use plimpy. I thought

1:01:32 Speaker 1

plimp was a word for sex. You agreed to us using plimp. Here, no, please. I'll take you to plimpies. Please don't. Let me just. Thank

1:01:40 Speaker 4

God. Okay. Thank God.

1:01:43 Speaker 1

Let me

1:01:43 Speaker 4

just. I thought I wasn't going to get two plimpies today. I thought I was only going to get one. I can't have another one plimpy day. I went in there. I got my foot and a half long sub. I need another one.

1:01:55 Speaker 1

Come on. 18 inch juiced marinara meatball. You know it, baby. All right. I just need a little

1:02:01 Speaker 8

help. Don't take my phrase. Sorry. I bought one. I can't think

1:02:07 Speaker 11

of one. You know it, baby, is mine.

1:02:09 Speaker 5

You

1:02:09 Speaker 8

know it, baby, is me.

1:02:11 Speaker 2

You're right. Mine's kidding that there's a werewolf here.

1:02:13 Speaker 5

Okay. Back it up.

1:02:14 Speaker 2

Hang on. Back

1:02:15 Speaker 11

up. Okay.

1:02:17 Speaker 4

Go forward. How am I doing

1:02:18 Speaker 11

back there?

1:02:19 Speaker 4

Forward. I got an old man's foot.

1:02:22 Speaker 1

I thought I ran over a werewolf. Back it up. I can actually just use my backup kit. It's a little hard because it's just a GoPro and it's on a bit of a delay.

1:02:32 Speaker 4

But I've got to feed up to here. You have to turn it on and get it. I'll be right back. I'll be right back. You have to run a lot of wire real quick?

1:02:38 Speaker 1

I just have to run the wire from the GoPro. I don't think

1:02:41 Speaker 2

it

1:02:41 Speaker 4

we're ever going to make

1:02:42 Speaker 4

to Plimpy's. It's going to close if you don't hurry up. They're going to close.

1:02:44 Speaker 1

I'm going to kill myself. When does Plimpy's close? I'm going to kill myself. No, don't, sir. Don't. Don't. Why not? Why not? I'm not going to get another Plimpy. Yes, you are. It's 4 p .m. When does

1:02:55 Speaker 11

Plimpy's close? Listen, please burn us with your oil and wrap us up mummy style and take us to

1:03:00 Speaker 1

Plimpy's. At least someone will get a good review.

1:03:04 Speaker 4

We'll be a good review.

1:03:06 Speaker 1

Okay, yeah. Let me just use the backup. All right. Here. Is there anybody in front of me? I got to kind of look at the cam here.

1:03:12 Speaker 4

Is there anybody in front of me? Yeah, big crowd.

1:03:15 Speaker 9

A lot of people. Plow through them.

1:03:18 Speaker 2

Oh, no. Get your hand up my foot. Go on the Plimpy's. Move. Move. Move. Move. Move. Move. Move.

1:03:29 Speaker 9

Move. Move. Move. That's such a realistic sound for hitting PNDS.

1:03:33 Speaker 2

God, what a relief. It's because I am. It's because I am.

1:03:37 Speaker 9

What? That was too realistic. Coom, coom. Coom, coom. Oh, my God.

1:03:44 Speaker 2

Wait. I don't want

1:03:45 Speaker 0

to be a part of this crime. I changed my mind. We're all in this

1:03:50 Speaker 2

together. We all did this. No, he didn't. No,

1:03:52 Speaker 5

we all

1:03:52 Speaker 2

did this. We were trapped. It was Chef Padre. Hello, 911. Yes, I'm in the car with a man who's committed a crime. Hang on, you have to let me respond. Huh?

1:04:02 Speaker 3

You

1:04:03 Speaker 5

started talking. It's on speaker. You're on speaker. All right, what's going on? We're in a car with a man who's just killed a bunch of pedestrians. Hang on, we're at Blimpies. We're at

1:04:12 Speaker 6

Blimpies. Oh, never mind, sorry.

1:04:13 Speaker 5

Never mind, bye. Don't call us back.

1:04:15 Speaker 1

Number six, number six, number six. Hi, number six. Hi, welcome to Blimpies. Hello. What? Welcome to Blimpies. You work here? Uh,

1:04:25 Speaker 10

yes. I thought you said Blimpies.

1:04:28 Speaker 1

I thought you said Blimpies. No, I just don't do plosives very

1:04:34 Speaker 4

well. Oh, okay. Mr. Padre. No. Mr. Padre, you work at Blimpies?

1:04:39 Speaker 1

No,

1:04:40 Speaker 4

no. You

1:04:40 Speaker 11

ran from the cockpit of the Ghostbusters car inside of Blimpies. Where's Janice,

1:04:48 Speaker 1

our favorite Blimpies lady? Janice gets off at three. Well, we'll see if she's back there. I'll go see if she's back

1:04:54 Speaker 4

there. Oh, no. No. You guys, I'm leaving here with a Blimpie. I don't

1:04:59 Speaker 11

care what happens. Oh, we're leaving. I'm leaving here with an extra large Blimpie. Let's make a promise to each other, we do not walk out of here unless all three of us have Blimpies. Of course.

1:05:06 Speaker 4

Yes. I have my gun cocked and ready to go.

1:05:08 Speaker 11

Oh, good.

1:05:09 Speaker 4

Hello, loves. Okay. Hello, miss. You're beautiful.

1:05:13 Speaker 5

Oh, my God. You're beautiful. What's me,

1:05:14 Speaker 9

Janice? Are you new? I told you this. You look just like Miss Piggy. Princess Diana. Oh.

1:05:23 Speaker 4

I don't know if it's, maybe it's the sound. Maybe

1:05:25 Speaker 5

it's

1:05:26 Speaker 4

might be the sound.

1:05:26 Speaker 4

the sound. Yeah.

1:05:26 Speaker 11

It

1:05:28 Speaker 11

Maybe the sound is leading us to guess Miss Piggy, but you look so

1:05:32 Speaker 5

much like Miss Piggy.

1:05:34 Speaker 2

I put up with a lot today. No, that's a compliment. I'm about to pop, all right?

1:05:41 Speaker 11

Don't. And you start to insult my looks. Before you pop, just make us number