2. Infrared Blast

Bright kids.

Yeah, right. I'll admit it, I had pretty low expectations. I've never met a motivated rich kid, and some of these kids

are pretty freaking motivated. Some

of these

kids are a lot smarter than I am, if I'm honest. I'm getting kind of worried about it. I mean, not that I'm losing control, but I'm fearing losing control.

It is hard when you get a rebuttal. As scary as the reality.

When you get a rebuttal from a lesson that you think is 100%. Yes.

Well, it's on us for leaving 10 minutes at the end of the class for responses.

That we cannot, we've got to come in clear, we've got to give the lesson, and we have to go.

It's tough now, because I do have the 40 microphones set up in front of me, and I do a little press conference at the end where I do take questions.

Right.

briefing room. Very much so, yeah.

Pressure

briefing

room. I'm very sassy. And Steve Doocy is in your class, right?

Well, it's Steve Doody. It's his son.

It changes his name. He's a little Doocy. So a lot of these kids,

they keep the, yeah. Yeah. It's like a slightly change of name to brand anonymity. Malia Obama now goes by like Alice Obama

or something like that. Smart. You can't go wrong. Change the wrong name in my opinion, but I think I understand the intent. Yeah. But yeah, it's, I mean, Sam, for you, though, your parody law is like brand new. How are you already getting rebuttals on stuff like that?

Well, I'm just, it's not so much that they are proving me wrong. It's that I can just tell that we're sizing each other up.

Yeah.

And we both kind of know if long enough it goes, what's going to happen.

Absolutely. It's like you're at a movie theater and you're sharing the armrest with somebody next to

you. Yes. And right now the armrest's open, but we can see both eyes looking down being like, who's going to full take this rest? And I, and I, these kids obviously know that they're doing better than me. I got some of these kids, not only their parents are richer than me, they are richer than me. I got some kids day trading in my class

and I hear the, I just hear order filled five grand

and they're making

cash. They

sound like pharmacists. I don't know about Robin Hood lately, but that doesn't sound like Robin Hood. These kids are making so much money. They're not even listening to me at all. Then

they're going like, why is your shirt so dirty? The kids in my class? I'm really worried. Everybody in my class sold off everything. Everything now is liquid for them. Wow. So I'm worried about a crash, a crash coming.

Oh, that's how I've

been following the markets with the kids in my class. You've got to follow these kids.

I'm telling you.

Driving wise, I follow them because I know when a crash is coming now. Yes. If I see them go into the right lane, I go, me too. If the crash is coming. If they put their,

they put their car off the road, they're taking themselves out of the market. Yes. Because the road ahead is liquid.

Yes. And that

happened recently where the roads melted from the earthquakes. Well, what I've been doing is buying all the stuff from my kids, buying

everything they're selling.

That's a risk. Well, it is a risk. That's a risk. It is a huge risk. Because why are they selling?

And then when they want it back, guess who's got it all? You've got to come to daddy or a teacher. Yes.

What's helping me in that same way is I've started dating one of my students.

Genius. Todd. She's 18. That's not the problem, Todd. It's the power indifference.

No, she's old at heart and I'm young at heart. No, he's right. The power indifference, she has way more power than

she's indifferent to you. She's really indifferent to you, the

you. And

Wait, who's her dad?

Ron

me. Name.

Howard Levis. Howard Levis. That would be a way... John Mackey.

It's weird. I was like,

who's John Mackey? I

didn't even think so.

Hey, God. I actually just realized that, like, did you send your kid to school here ever? Obviously, your last name is Levi's Levis. You have... You're staring a hole at me.

We kind of talked about not bringing up each other's kids anymore.

Right. Just because

of

heartbreak and... And

the complications that it causes. Yes, we have no idea who has what. And how many we have. And, you know,

the fact that... And it's not funny when you have them, really. No. It's just mostly sad. It's not.

No.

But I don't... I hate to break it to you,

but both of our daughters go here.

Wow. Yeah. They ended up in a dorm room together. Are you kidding me?

And I... To be honest, I started dating my girlfriend because she's the RA on that floor. And I'm trying to get closer to my daughter.

Oh, your guys' daughters have been hanging out with each other, dressed very similarly in hallways, right? Kind of creepily holding hands.

Yeah.

And they kind of appear out of nowhere and speak in unison. I thought that was part of the film program's project. No.

That's real. That's their daughter. Yeah.

That was some of the most haunting visages I've ever seen.

Yeah. I am sick of my life mirroring the movie The Shining. Because I've been at my typewriter all day, dull boy, over and over again. Every time my wife comes by, I'm trying to ax her. Yeah.

And I've had to break... I've got cold all the time. I've had to break through the bathroom door multiple times this week.

Yes. Yeah.

You're going where?

Johnny!

Oh, who's Johnny? I mean, who's Howard?

Scary stuff. I

don't know how much time we're going to spend on that stuff with our daughters being here or if we'll continue to

ignore them. We've got to throw it out there. See if it works. We'll see. But yeah. But yeah, it's... To me, the students kind of humiliating us, which let's be honest, that's what it is. Yeah.

That's the price I pay for selling out. I came here for the money.

Yeah. I came here because

we're getting... This is a corporate -owned private school. Mm -hmm. And you have to give up some of your beautiful ideals when you do that. And technically, we're still on probation. They're going

to check us, and then we get the real big pay. Yes.

Yeah. But it is a sweet purse if we make it through that six -month probation

period. Right now, they get to take the first $500 of whatever we make. And then after that, it's an awesome 90 -10 split,

is very respectful. We get 10 % of what we make. They get 90 % because they're the owners of everything.

which

Right. And we're fairly important in that way. Yeah. Well, I think that's an important thing to recognize is in our current economy, labor has no real power.

No. And the reason that I'm okay with this 90 -10 split is because one day I'd love to be the boss. That's right.

I'd love to be the boss.

Pay the cost to be the

boss. Yes, exactly. And I will eat it. I will eat it as long as I have to if it means that one day when I'm on top, I can exploit someone. Right.

Absolutely. Absolutely. Because once I get the power, you got two options. Change everything so then people below you get opportunities you never had. Reinforce the system. Fart noise. Yes.

Or - That'll be great for engagement.

We'll do a clip of that. That'll be really good. Oh, somebody gif me doing fart noise right here.

Yeah. Give me a nice sentence.

Fart

noise.

Todd, just find some breasts to look at online. Like, you don't have to, like,

have somebody put them on you. I'm going to Todd Padre gif when I'm looking for titties. Still nothing, nothing, nothing. It would satisfy both things of my ego that there's a gif of me.

Right. I get to see, you know, bosoms. Right. Bosoms. Beep. Sorry. Sorry. I missed that beep there.

Well, I am definitely - Thanks for taking over the beeps for this episode. Oh, no. I'm noticing a lot of changes being at this school. I just am not walking around as comfortable in my shoes. You know what I mean? And I want to be because I believe in big business. I believe in big school business, all of it. But I just feel a little small here. Is anyone else feeling that way?

You know, I think that's the price of change a little bit as well. You know, you kind of have to acclimate. You know, if you put a tiny plant in a big pot, it takes it a while to grow.

You know what I

mean? That's what I've always thought. So you're feeling small right now because this is a big change, a big different environment. You know, it's going to take some time for us to grow into it.

Yeah. Piggybacking off of Howard, you know, this is just something I heard is when you plant a plant, year one, down. That's the roots growing. It's to ground you. Year two, up the leaves,

branches. Year three, out. That's when you flower. So can you wait three years to be happy?

Well, at 99 cents an hour, I think it might be tough to make it there, but I think I can.

I mean, you're a hit of the dollar store now. You get your paycheck.

I can almost afford something. Every two weeks, you can buy one thing. That's right. Well, tax.

Oh, I forgot about tax. Every

three weeks, I have enough to buy one 99 cent item. And last week, I bought a spatula.

I can't eat a

spatula. No, you needed that. I can't eat a spatula. You needed that bad.

Why? Because I kept burning my hands cooking eggs?

Yes.

I was

making

scrambled eggs with my fingertips, and it hurt. Look, they're gone.

They're gone. What about this segment? And it'll be by accident at some point every show, five minutes of Kitchen Corner, where we just go into another thing we're doing

in the kitchen. Right, right. We hit stainless steels last week.

Yes. I think the cooking eggs with your hands is interesting. Well,

99 cents for a

spatula is a great deal, but not when you have no food in the

cupboard or

you're just

fridge.

Yes,

even warm. This is absolutely incredible. We've got air fryer. We've got instant pot. We've got toaster oven. Take out the oven. Put in a love seat, like Sam said. You've got the wonderful hair puller above you. Yes, of course. And you've got all your food while you're cooking.

That's not a hair puller.

I put a sucking cut up there. You're getting a haircut. You're getting a meal. You're getting a foot massage if you put those little fish that eat your feet at the

bottom. Yes, I've actually been very tired of instant pot air, big side appliance coming in and stealing from the oven. I would like to go back to the oven because I don't want to have a huge cupboard with all that other bullshit in it that's got 50 little attachments that you need. It's actually

making rice. I can't make rice on my stove. So I, very similar to milk, when milk was going out of style, in came all these different milks, nut milks, stuff like that. I have been doing a campaign where I put oven on my top lip

and I've been getting the word out about oven. The oven industry has been coming to me and you guys will see photos every week, me getting less and less clothes with more and more oven on my top lip.

Are your clothes going?

No,

because they did that with milk. Sexier.

I think that just got a little sexier. That's right.

Are you wearing oven on your upper lip to get rid of

oven? No. So you hate oven, but you flipped immediately and

back in. No. Oven is what he said. My anger started because the oven, my oven has not been

used.

Bill. Yeah. Because I got had by side appliance. By big side appliance. Big side appliance. I've seen the photos that you took for this

campaign. Yeah, an oven dribbling out of my mouth and it looked like semen.

Semen?

Bill. Beep. Bill, it looks. No, we need a whisper. It looked like semen. It coming out of my mouth and everybody

was going nuts. You might think it looked like that. It looked to me like

a man whose head. Whose head. I shouldn't have taken over beeps. You reminded me of everyone except the first one.

You don't

like my oven on top of it? When

you say I put oven on my upper lip, what you mean is you've sort of like fashioned a hat that comes down over the whole top of your head with an oven

over your head. And little chunks of metal fall down the side of your mouth. Burner. Great.

You look

like a man with an appliance for a head. Well, but the cool thing is you can. Oh, wait till you see my oven rack photos. Jealous. Doom.

I think it's cool, though, that at least it has a double feature. You can weld with that thing with the door

up. Oh. And then if you just want to see, you just flip down the door.

I'll throw arc. I'll lay a bead of titanium on anything with

oven lift. And I've actually been doing TikToks raiding your welds. I throw beads. I've thrown so

much bead. One out

of ten. One out of ten.

Not safe.

Bad bead.

I don't even clean it off. I don't even chip it off to where the burnt stuff comes off. So you leave that nice bead. Everybody at home surely is obsessed with welding.

Everybody grew up watching grown men around them weld,

right? How many times have you been tricked

an old man welding? Dad's the only one that gets the welding

by

mask, by the way. Yeah. How many times have you been tricked by an old man welding saying, hey, look right here. You stare at it. And then the brightest thing in the world comes into your

eyes. If you aren't a kid that is getting exposed to metal work early on, you're really missing out. You're getting your eyes absolutely burnt to a crisp. The smell. No, but that is the talent, really, in sort of like these smaller towns. It's like, are you playing guitar? Are you writing? No, but I lay bead.

I lay

corner for the day. And that was another

teacher's lounge kitchen

corner. Kitchen corner.

Now, if you're out there, we're not going to pair out or do this. Clip that last five minutes. Put all of the words we said on us so when people watch it muted, they can still see

what we're saying. And when something's funny, highlight one of the words bigger and create a title that is quick and engaging so when people scroll by, they'll want to see it right away. Yeah. And for me...

Todd, for someone who has such a non -existent social media presence, you sure know every single step of how to do everything.

A hundred

percent. I just wish

to God that I could do it. Right. Yeah. Well, that's... If someone wants to do that out there, that's all you got to do. Here's the thing. I actually wanted to bring this up because I have been trying to think a lot about social media and how we can use that in terms of sort of furthering the goals of this semester,

this year. And I have been launching... I don't know if you guys have seen this. I have been launching a bit of an online campaign for our school to prep for

the

leaders of the future.

That's smart. The internet is where the stuff is. Yeah. It's a bit of a... And I will say, I didn't like it, but my class, they wrote a bunch of copy. They wanted us to do it. It's a bit of a smear campaign

about one of our rival schools. Ooh.

And I really tried to get the students to do it,

but they ended up

making me record all the videos.

So it's a

teacher from a different school insulting a bunch of prospective student competitors.

Well, when you say it in those plain of terms, it does sound bad, but yeah, so there's about

15 videos. Oh, I wasn't saying bad.

I was just clarifying. Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I would do it. There's going to be about 15 videos with some dirt on some students from other schools that these kids dug up online. Physical? Huh? Huh? Physically dirt on students? Well, one of the kids they did say was pretty nasty, so he will be getting ripped a little bit. But the kids really, they said everything was true. They said there was nothing that I said that's now online that could get me in trouble for defamation or anything like that. They were very adamant to say that. But there's going to be about 15 videos that get posted online over the next week or so. You can't let

kids who have not, you know, figured out the right angles on things, and I don't mean 90 degrees. Good

clarification. I didn't think you

Bill, you got to stop putting in your shitty stand -up into this stuff, man. That's not going to work. You're just doing asides. It doesn't work. Oh, have

you seen my compass object work and my compass and my... Yeah, you're not sure

how to use it.

Protractor. It's clear you're not sure how to use those things.

Oh, have you seen me get tangled up in them and fall down? That was actually improvised, not accidental,

improvised purposely. You have to give Bill a little credit. He saw Jeff Dunham 15 years ago and was like, okay, how can I kind of do what he does but in a new way?

Yeah. And he finally decided it would be math instruments. Math instruments. Math instruments. And I want you to know that Texas instruments, we're in talks.

Wow. For you to stop using their stuff for your jokes?

For me? We're in talks

as a cease and desist from them. You do the boobies

joke. I do. I do 5 -8.

-3 -1 -8 -0 -0 -8. Which is a crazy joke to do on that advanced of a

5

calculator.

I mean, you can do any... You can write words on that calculator. You can

program games on that calculator, and you're writing boobies. Upside Down. Yes. And when I turn it

around... Well, Todd loves it. Todd was

front row for boobies. I misunderstood what the show was going to be.

Yeah.

When you said you'd be front row for boobies, I said, yeah, I came

$600 in ones and well, some 50 cent coins. Mostly quarters.

with

I saw the sack,

dude. I saw

the way. We know you don't have money. Doll.

by

club, and I came with

$500.

He went to American Girl

Doll Store and absolutely cleaned the place out. Well, he buys them, clips it, and returns them, thinking that they won't notice the haircut.

They have a new return policy. Do not touch the hair. You cannot return.

They

Well, you sold me one with split ends. I'd like a new one with longer hair. And I'd hit it by tonight at

7 p .m. Why are you taking the subject of like a dad joke, doll hair, yeah, maybe doll hairs, and trying to play it off as currency?

Because I am trying to trick strippers because I can't afford

to do the thing you have to do to sit in the front row of the strip club. You deserve empathy. That must be really

hard. Thank you. That must be hard. Do you think they won't let you buy American dolls anymore if you can't prove you have a daughter or a son?

No. I've never heard that. That seems

pretty crucial. They are making you show proof

in American Girl. Well, I'll say this, Todd. I'll know that. I want you to know that that is not a universal policy. They have placed a photo of you in every American Girl doll

store in the entire United States. Kind of similar when somebody bounces a check or steals from a place. They put a big poster on the wall that says, do not sell to this guy. It is not a universal policy. I could walk into American Girl right now and buy $17 if I want it.

I'm so jealous. That company is all over the place. Typically store to store, they cannot communicate. So for them to put

each one of them, your picture up is insane. You don't know how bad this is for me. I started going into Build -A -Bear.

Beep.

Sorry.

Sorry. I just, I don't know. Queer kinks are also believable.

Bear? No.

Beep. Beep. I was trying

to build a big hairy man. Beep. Right. Beep.

So a doll, of course, so I could cut all the hair and once again go and trick exotic dancers so that I could

see what they are. What are you going to say to them then? These are bear hairs?

Bears are dolls also. Yeah.

Okay. I think the problem with you. That might be true. We've seen you out on the corner, bears are dolls also.

think as soon as. What a

I

strip club.

I think as soon as the people see that they are hairs of any sort instead of dollars. Yeah.

It doesn't really matter which kind of hair it is. But then, then you force them to go, all right, are we going to drag a man out of here or are we just going to let him be for a while? Well, and 30 % of the time they let you be, people's fear of confrontation allows you to be as awful as you want. You can get away with so much in this world just because people don't want to confront you.

It's the premise of every prank show you ever saw. How much can we allow people to deal with us because we're rude and won't abide by societal

norms? That's just what I'm doing. Totally. It works. It works for Trump. Yeah. Yeah. Prank shows are out there doing the amazing work of getting rid of any medium personality. They're, they're just making so many people mad that everybody's furious immediately.

They're like, is this a prank? All of America now. You, you, you feel it when you're on a plane, uh, when you're in a busy mall, everyone is so uptight and ready to burst.

Yeah. If anybody gets, if anybody gets within six inches of my physical space, I immediately know it's a prank. Yeah. Anywhere at the

airport, there's people near you all the time. You're like, Hey, yeah. Yeah. Anytime. Anytime. Well, I've, I've, I'm at my wits end. Anytime, anytime I go into a store, they ask me to pay. I'm like, I buy, I put something on the counter. They, they're like, Hey, this is this much money. I'm like, okay, it's a prank.

Prank damage.

Oh, boiling points. Let me guess. Boiling points.

You know what? I started

doing

these

Definitive. Oh, pranks. For

pranks.

That's why you've been doing that your whole life? Yeah. Hey man, we're not trying to prank you all the time. I'm going to do it before you. I'm going to do, I'm going to fart before you fart because those are the pranks that always get done to me. That is. People walk by in the park and fart and I'm like. And you, but now you are the star of that show that has infrared cameras and just shows farters in public. Hey,

don't. That's what it's called.

Farters in public. Farters in public. It's supposed to be all over the world and it's just you. Don't get me started. These mother.

Yeah. Infrared blast. Infrared blast. You actually. Yeah. And would you believe I don't get a single cent in royalties from infrared blast? Yes. You.

He's going to make you wear that

mask. You are the sole

prankster

on that

show.

I don't know why. You'll just be

paying your food.

Just because it's heat vision camera. I don't know why they make you wear the predator mask because that seems like it sort of lets people know that a prank is coming. When the predator walks into an old Navy, something's going on.

Yeah. They don't know if you're going to go and fart on the vests, but like, they're like something's up. And I have told. This was called infrared.

Infrared. Infrared blast. Oh shit. Predators in here. We're on infrared blast. So. So.

So. I mean. I

love how specific it is. And it gets me every time. Predator walks into anywhere. It fucking stinks. It starts non -infrared. Then right before you go to do the blast. Switch over. Blast.

I've got my answer. But Howard, what was your favorite shooting location for infrared blast?

Let's go around the table.

I'll say for me, it was when you did the mommy and me class.

Well, that one was fun. I've never seen people run so much before the fart.

Right.

Yeah.

My favorite one was when I went in. They're like, was that a paper mache

predator mask?

Yes. He didn't even paint it after he was done with it. He just, it's paper. It's newspaper still. I guess that's predator.

I'll say all the mommy and the means. What? For an hour. They just tore apart your mask and then switch blast.

And then. I'll tell you this. That mommy and me was good. But I think my favorite one was when I, when I got an elective surgery and farted on the surgeon.

Oh, yes. Oh, right.

Hospital blast. It's been

very good.

It was a two part. It was a two part special. Well, yeah. You tell them you get a spinal. They lay you face down. Oh,

you blew that

doctor's mask right off. Yeah. Wow.

Yeah. You

gave that Dr. COVID. Yeah.

It was the, it was how they found out it could be transmitted that way. Not only are there fecal particles in a fart, there's COVID

particles. Thank you for doing

that.

That helped us. That

really helped us. I love it.

I love it for it. Blast.

Yeah. It's a good, it's a good show. Again, if the producers, if you're watching, um, I didn't sign anything.

You didn't produce that? No. That's like so based

around you. You did all the line producing, right? Well, I mean, it depends on what you define as line producing. Scheduling, finding locations. Paying for the

surgery. Why would you a producer on that? You completely produced it except for being on the contract. You just don't get any of the benefits.

Well, I initially

was doing it for my own protection. You know, the show started as me wanting to like sort of protect myself in prank situations. And then a couple of guys with cameras started following me around and I guess

they amassed enough footage. Oh, so this was just your attempt to fend off

pranksters? Initially, yeah. Turned into infrared blast.

It's the pandemic or the epidemic or whichever it is. The

prankdemic. Yeah, a prankdemic. Oh, man. Well, listen, this has been an incredible first half of the episode, but I think I do need to drain the old L. Yes.

Lizard. And speaking of first half of the episode, we're really working on engagement here. Yes. So at the end of every episode, let us know, did you like the first half or the second half the bestest? Right. So hashtag us first half bestest or second half bestest. And let us know if the break was too long. If the break was too long and you could perceive that we took too long of a break

between halves, let us know. Yeah. Hit us with a hashtag snip the break.

So let us know. Also, just for me, if you see clips of infrared blast on Instagram. Share them.

No, no, no, no, no. Spread them far and wide.

Start commenting on them stolen valor. Yes.

Stolen stink.

Stolen stink. If there's any stolen stink out

there,

we need to be careful. This is stolen stink and free Howard Levis. And you know what? I want to have your back, Howard. Also, also put hashtag realistic predator. Hashtag believable predator.

Hashtag finished project. If you can make a mask that's better, simply painting the one that we have, stuff like that. But infrared blast is here to stay.

I have been going to hashtag finished project on that. I'll just hit that hashtag

and go, what is that? Good. Well, our camera just turned off, so we're taking a break. Shit,

this is a bad email. I got a bad email.

What do you mean?

Well, I was trying to prove the beauty of human art over AI. And so I wrote my play. And I had AI write a version of the play. And I sent it to the school, being like, obviously, they're going to pick mine. There's a blind play test? There's a blind play test.

Don't

tell me, Todd. They chose Pepsi? The AI wrote a play called Pepsi.

I wrote a play called Coke. Coke. Wow, this AI really had it out for you. I mean, it wasn't just writing another one. It was like a literal competing

play. Yeah, it wrote. Somehow, I put in every play I'd ever written. And it knew what type of play I was going to write and wrote a competing play on that.

And was yours Coke like Coca -Cola? Or was it devastating?

It was all the Coke stuff. Yeah,

that's kind of what I was trying to do.

Coke Brothers

wasn't like a play that was. No, it's just I was really confident that humans, human expression was going to beat out against AI. I've been so optimistic. Everyone's like, AI, AI, it's going to take our jobs, whatever. And I was like, nobody can beat a poem by Edgar Allan Poom. Nobody can beat.

Edgar Allan Poe?

Pumba? Pumba? Edgar

Allan Poom. Edgar Allan Poom. Oh, that mashup. That mashup

account. I love that mashup account. It's so two wildly different things, but

somehow

the Raven.

they go together. Hakuna

to kill

myself.

I don't have either bucket for this. I can't do either.

The cask of Mustafa? The

cask of Mustafa? Hey, Timon? Nevermore. Yeah.

Yes, Timon.

That worked.

Timon.

account. And I just, I really thought that that type of stuff was going to win out, but this is, you know, I'm one of the great artists of our generation, and if AI

can outright me, I'm really worried about the future. The cask of a month is Zazu.

And I don't

want to. That's what's

better. That's good. Because Zazu's the bird. Sorry. Sorry, Bill. I don't know. I think at any moment we should do Edgar Allan Poom.

We don't have

throwouts, just for the rest of the app. If you have one, throw it out. But I think that AI is never going to be able, and I hate to bring this up, not specifically your one.

All right. We'll see if the specific reminds me of myself. But AI is never going to be able to fix your toilet.

You know what I mean?

And not because your toilet specifically is

in bad shape. Okay, it did seem specific to me. That's just my

first thing I thought. AI is never going to be able to build your fence

back up after the wind knocks. Exactly. If half of us broke. Like I said, a human tradesman. AI is

not going to be able to take the fork from the plate to your lips.

Yeah.

Right.

And the big, the way that I've heard AI talked about, Todd, is it's not the AI that's going to crush humanity. It's people utilizing AI are going to crush people who don't utilize AI. Oh, now I feel better.

Yeah. So

as long as you get ahead of it, and you start using AI in your stuff, and you know how it works in the future. It's a tool.

Yeah, it's a

tool. I think

that's the important thing, Todd, is don't let this shake your core so much that you kind of abandon all of your talents and skills and just become a total AI guy because you've definitely lost the battle. I think it's important to keep your art out there. Say that again?

Don't switch and just be a total AI guy because it's easier. Like, keep your art out there because your voice may finally become important. We never know. Yeah, be

a total AI guy.

Switch and be a total AI guy. And here's the thing. Don't do that.

I know, but the part that really resonated with me was, look, I had a dream, and I'm not referencing the great speech by MLK. I also had a dream, but mine was more about good things happening

for me specifically. Stop comparing the

speeches if you don't want us to think of it

that way. My speech is very different.

It's about this awful dream. It's in very detailed specifics. It goes on forever.

And it does not have a moral or an end point. It's just a little story.

Yeah. I had a bad, bad dream last night.

Beep. Right.

Right. But ultimately, I am realizing that life has killed my dream. Damn. And I've given up. This email, I think I've given up. What is the point of

pursuing my art? What do they want to put that play up? Do they want to put Pepsi up?

I don't know what they want to do. This was more of a test, but they probably do want to put it up. They probably

love to. But I don't think you need to think. I'd love to get a play put up. We've got a lot of other things we have to worry about, Todd. So I would say don't worry too much about this. And speaking of AI and people utilizing it, we

are

in for the - Todd was looking at the ceiling last week to not hear notes. And now - Look at this performance. Absolutely

locked

into the planks on the ground.

Todd really wants everyone at home to know how devastated he looks. I just think - Mope. Mope. Capital city of mope over here.

I just think, Todd, you could either - Mope city. Stop it, Todd. This is a performance. You're not this upset.

I

say

gone

- He's

we just

to non -verbal. Todd, we're giving you sympathy.

We're already giving you sympathy. You don't have to milk it so hard. He's Mr. Beaning out.

Stop it, Todd. He's joking. Nothing is enough for him. None of our sympathy is enough.

Come on. Look how sad that - Todd,

look at Todd's punim.

Please.

We can't waste our time worrying about this stuff.

He got to hit that. That's the edit point. Whoever clips that at home, that's the edit point. End on that. Put the words under what

we're saying. Highlight the good words. Title it really clearly what's happening. Make it viral. End the episode there. I don't think we have time to worry about this kind of stuff, Todd. I don't know if you guys have been paying

attention. We don't have time to worry about President Adolf Hitler taking over. Oh,

yeah. I know who you sound like. It's a completely different situation.

Who does he sound like? Yeah, no way. Who does he sound like? I know what you mean, but who does he sound like? Oh,

you know. I know

all the people who say

stuff like

that. I'm just saying, Todd. I think - Thank you for that answer. It really cleared it up. Yeah. I just think we have a lot of other stuff on our plate. You know, the leaders of the future competition's coming up.

I don't know about you guys, but I've been looking into what's going on at other schools, and I think we have been underselling how tough this competition is going to be.

Oh, yeah.

You know I've

been looking at it.

I've been doing flyovers of all the other schools, seeing

their training programs. You've been sending some great sheets of stats of other people. We know exactly what plays they're playing. We know what a lot of their practice speeches are. We know their time trials.

How many kids are in each team? How many coaches are on each team? Do they like each other? How do they

stand around? Would you say you've grown as a drone pilot overall for those flyovers? Because early on when you bought the drone, I'll say I think you were struggling.

I was. Early on, I was struggling because I just had the kind of drone where you had to look in the sky and watch it or

look on your phone. Now, I have the kind, it's a speed drone.

It can go really fast. You see them fly through hotels for things like that, and you

wear

wind doesn't get in your eyes when you ride the drone? I'm not on the drone, but I'm controlling it through goggles.

It's like a

VR

type situation. First person. First person. So I can't even see the world around me. I can only see through the eyes of the drone. And you're just standing in place with the goggles on controlling the drone.

I hope. I wish I was.

He hopes and wishes and

knows. When the drone moves forward, I

accidentally start moving forward with it. If you've seen these videos, they're popping up. They're hot on America's Funniest Home Videos now.

Rubiera is killing you on that.

I mean, I just really quickly,

since I brought up America's Funniest,

I'm so, so devastated for that production. Like how badly they are losing out to the internet. I've never seen a brand go from so

big to so worthless. We must not be privy to the truth because they are still cranking, even though the internet is

America's Funniest Home Videos. Isn't that amazing? Yeah, I am proud of that crew and that team to still

that

create a show

people

Rubio -bot. Rubio -bot.

Ryobi.

Oh, he's a Ryobi. He's a

Ryobi. I saw him drilling during the costume breaks. Underneath, he is lime green. He's

Ryobi. He's Alfonso Ryobi.

Yeah, why do you think he's so freaking consistent?

That man's a machine, literally.

It's like

I don't want to be dark, but I even heard we didn't actually lose Bob Saget, but he was a Sagendecker

and ended up

just

going past his warranty and they shut him down. That's too bad. That's too bad. They disassembled him. They took him for parts.

That is so tough. And what's the host of the Dancing with the Stars who did it in between Saget and Alfonso? Bergeron.

All right, so we'll come back to that. Rocky Tools. First date, Tom.

Last name, Bergeron. What was yours?

I have nothing.

Rocky Tools. Also, Telltale Scar. Oh, yeah. From Edgar Allan Poomba. Edgar Allan Poomba.

Let's keep both these up here, fellas. You see a parrot put on the Oculus and they go down to the ground very

quickly. That's what's been happening with you

and the drone.

Surefire waiting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I have to take off the drone in a wide open space. I don't want to hurt anybody. So I take off right by the lake. And as soon as it's up in the air, I fly across the lake and I accidentally walk right into it every single time.

I'm on my 30th set of

eye goggles for the drone.

Oh,

Oh, yeah. I have the spatula. I just need the food. You start with the pans and

then you... I'm glad you took over or you figured it out because you have been getting really good

footage of the rival teams preparing. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And it's really cool. You get that bird's eye view. You can see their formations. You know, it's really been helpful. I mean,

if anything, I think it's taught us we need to step our game

up. Yeah,

and

just real quick, for the more indoor events, like the sort of academic part and the play and everything like

that, you're crashing the drone through windows. What exactly is it? They have no idea the drone's flying right over us.

I think they

it. I think they do too.

see

Because you said all the

stuff they're doing to prepare is looking up and swatting the air. No, no,

no, no. It's the weirdest. It's the weirdest. Okay, that's actually convinced me. Multiple no's in a sing -songy way. No, no, no, no, no, no.

I don't know exactly what's going on, but they are doing something that's... So

that's how we've got to start preparing our

students. Oh, maybe

they have a song.

Yeah, it might be an orchestra. It could be.

Uh -oh.

It could be.

think that's what it is because the drone doesn't do sound, but I think it does. It's flying right over their heads. They got no freaking idea.

Wow. It flies into the kitchen to see the cooking competition. Flour bursts into the air. They got no idea there's a drone in there. They're doing flour burst cooking?

Absolutely.

Oh, those... The British people in charge of the baking portion

of this, of our event, are just so sweet. They're cuties. But they are getting upset with you. They're barely raising their voices. Hmm, we should get that out of here. Well, I buzzed Paul Hollywood's hair on accident with the drone, and he didn't have that much on top, and it's gelled so hard that it's like a helmet, so he was really surprised and upset.

You had to change your

blades after that one. Yeah.

Wow. That's... Whoa.

I appreciate you putting that work in.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And I gotta say, Bill, training -wise, again, we have the America's top

14 to 18 -year -old rowing team.

This week... So you're working with absolute

marble.

I am working with... You know, working with Clay is actually making me think of what I've been doing with the guys this week. We've been having a little bit of unnecessary drag in the canoes. You know, it's been a little bit... And do you want us to go on a run with this, or do you want it to be wind?

Because I know people are going on having a big

Friday night. No. No. No. We're doing wind.

Okay. We're doing wind. Okay. Yeah, yeah. So I'm talking about the

drag in the canoes. Okay? The wind.

Yes.

It is... We've been working on that. And a lot of people are being like, you need to start with the row. You need to start with strength training.

Mm

-hmm. And I'm like, that is all stuff everybody's doing the same. Right. It's a given, you know, my boys are the strongest. The canoe is... But we got to work on our drag, our wind drag. So I have been... You know how they make like a, you know, an art, a Toyota RAV4

out of clay, and then they put it in that tube, and then they send the little smoke by it. Wind tunnel test. Wind tunnel test. Me and the boys, we have been... Water tunnel test? ...over at GM for a week doing wind tunnel tests.

Wow. Wow.

And it's

been really good. So you make a boat out of clay, then they shoot

you with wind in the clay boat. Well, the first... Yes. And the first kid's hair is shaped like an Audi A4.

So you're throwing the kids in there to tunnel

test them. Oh, the drag is on the kids, not on the boats.

No, not on the... We're getting... I'm gonna... He's gonna showcase... Our woodmaker is gonna showcase me the boat soon. I'm not worried about that.

Oh, sorry. Wow. You're fixing the drag on the humans.

On the humans.

So instead of training, you guys are doing a lot of helmet chopping. You're doing a lot... You guys have those long helmets that look like hair. We do. You have the skeleton

helmets. We have the skeleton helmets, but I don't want any extra weight on the boat. Right. So we're getting rid of helmets. We're getting rid of clothes. We're getting rid of everything. I've also seen

a few of your students go out on... I don't. I don't. ...have been out on medical absence after cosmetic surgeries?

Well, yeah.

I mean, you gotta... You can't just come back to school

right after your nose is reshaped like a high -speed train.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Your whole team... You had put in a requisition to the school to have plane tickets to Turkey for your whole team with extensive plastic

surgery and hair removal. And we're bringing the focus down from the hairline and right into the nose and the face.

Yeah.

I've told the boys, like, go talk with their family. Make sure it's in their best interest. Don't do anything crazy. But this is a way

we cannot even think about

our drag. A lot of times, we try these things and it fails miserably. This is working really well for you.

Yes. You're talking about hundreds of seconds, tens of seconds, millions of seconds. And your team has increased their time by, what would you say, half a second? Half a second.

Wow. And that is everything.

Everything. And there is nobody at school getting laid like your team with this new plastic surgery. Apparently, everybody's attracted to high -speed trains and we didn't even know it.

It's crazy. The train fuckers are out. They... Oh, that one guy from TikTok is here. Woo! This guy. That boy has been at the

rowing party. Oh, where did you think he went to school? He entered the transfer portal real

quick. Yeah. And I try to bat him away. He's always after my

boys. And I'm like, guys... Go pro

on. I mean, I do feel bad because I haven't been watching anything that I've been doing as a man who's also in the boat. I haven't really been watching my diet. I'm not cutting my hair a certain way. I'm

doing the trends with

clothes. Big shoulders. You want to do big shoulders. Big, huge, wide 80s talking head suits that I'm in.

And the hat. It's pretty dry. Well, I think the good thing is you're wide one way, but you're getting slender the other way. So maybe if you sit sideways on the boat

and keep you treating me in the air. Well, I can turn this around in a second.

If I just go like this. I can whip the boat around. I'm

rudder. I'm rudder. You're rudder. I'm rudder because at a certain point we're going to get so fast we're going to need drag. Listen, listen. So I am kind of that raccoon suit guy when you jump off the top of a mountain. Not raccoon. Flying squirrel. Flying squirrel

suit.

Raccoons are flying all around my head.

That raccoon suit guy has fallen flat, I think, 40, 50

times now. I'm glad he hasn't really

taken a risk with the height on his jumps. He's been keeping it pretty. He

doesn't get it. You have to go

fast enough

to

down the mountain tumbling into a trash can.

And he is still knocking my trash over and

eating my

food very

adorably.

Yeah,

He gave me

he's the job.

rabies, that motherfucker. I'm

so sorry. Yeah. We got you the shots. I did go way too close to him trying to look at the suit.

Yeah, we're like, get back. And you're like, let me get a video of this. And we're like, you just got bit right by a rattlesnake.

I am an animal lover. And I will never stop. They love me, too. They just don't know

their own strength. You're like Steve

I know. And I hope it doesn't end like him. You're trying to get in -mouth shots of everything. You want to do that alligator trick from the swamp guy. Well, it's cool.

Irwin.

doing it with

You're

raccoons.

Listen, your sail on your boat, you're essentially fashioning yourself into a sail. Sail! Can we talk about this now? To me, this presents kind of an opportunity.

It's going to

cheating. It's going to be a little...

be

I've already said I'm not cheating. But this is my question. how bad do we want to win this whole competition because I have some cheat plans but I didn't know if I could enact them.

No, not in my portion. Sam, I want to hear your cheat plans but I would like to do this one honorably.

I agree. But I do want to hear the cheat plans. Yeah, yeah.

I want to do like taxes. We got to be

play within the rules but be weird. But bend them as far as

year I drove 900 ,000 miles according to my taxes and I wrote that all off. In your old Pinto.

last

That is a business car. Yes, and I watch my DirecTV business in one of the offices.

On your business, lazy boy. On my business, lazy boy. With my business wife. Oh my God.

Always on business dates with business women around town writing it

off.

Every day I go on, I go, by the way, do you think we should buy or sell?

And they just say, and I go, that's a write -off. You got buy or sell dinner? I think we should buy it.

Oh no, now this conversation is confusing.

Sir, I don't think other people want to buy your dinner.

Okay. Well, what

are we talking about here? Because I will listen to a scheme. And I say,

it's hard to cheat at some of this stuff.

Totally.

I'm just saying it seems like an opportunity that we may not want to get rid of yet. I think we've actually walked backwards into a good thing. I don't like cheating, but I don't like losing.

Yeah. And I

will not lose, even if I have to

cheat.

I just don't want to lose. I just don't want to lose.

Right. There comes a time where we could

possibly partake in cheating. Yeah.

In the moment, if we're trying hard and still losing.

Yes. And here's what I say. Entertaining the idea of doing something does not equal doing the thing. When you're

desperate, does it count? Are there consequences if you're desperate enough and it make a weird choice? I was desperate.

So, I mean, we're just repeating my vows. Obviously, I never want to cheat, but let's talk

through some options when you're desperate. Let's be realistic is what you said. Yeah. Todd's vows. Obviously,

I don't want to cheat. Or if she's

really hot.

Oh,

yeah.

Come on. So, are we talking about going outside of our relationships to have physical contact during the competition?

Should we do rules, Polly? I don't think that's what we're talking about.

This isn't what I

was

talking about

dogs.

Oh, we're talking about

Polly Corner. No, we're keeping it kitchen. Because we never know what we might be into one day.

Yeah. We're not willing to say any opinions in case our minds change.

Right. Which they do often every day.

You know what I mean? Based on the last good or bad thing that happened

to us, our whole opinion on our entire lives changes. So, but your vows were like, I might do this, I might do this. Wouldn't you? I mean, come on.

You were really playing to the audience. There was a PowerPoint presentation.

Yeah. This was when Julia Roberts was big. Yeah. This was right after I had seen Earth Girls Are Easy with Gina Davis. Right. I was with Gina Davis. I was like, what if I... A lot of it was your hall passes.

It was. Yes. Yeah. You had a lot of hall passes.

I don't want this. I just want it out there that I want it.

What if it happens? Yeah. Right. Right. But as far as this goes, my preference would be to win honorably. Win

honorably. It feels so much better to win honorably. Totally. I've heard that.

Like,

Howard, for you,

obviously these kids, what's the word, have had trouble respecting you.

Good word. But you're working on their academic decathlon stuff. Yeah. You know, we've had a tough week, you know, because this is a very broad competition. It's kind of academic decathlon is kind of just like any kind of, any subject can sort of show its head. You got to kind of study broadly. And so I've just been kind of trying to develop some kind of curriculum that, for our training, that sort of touches on everything. But as you guys know, I'm a biology teacher at heart. It's the only subject that I know. So I have been farming out sort of lessons and other things to, to people who are a little bit more knowledgeable in those areas.

That's actually really smart.

Yeah. And so I've been doing cameos. I've been getting, I got, I got, I got Neil deGrasse Tyson to do a cameo

to talk about physics and sort of space. I

got. Black holes and stuff. Uh -huh. I got the guy who, who does hardcore history to do one about sort of history trivia.

Smart. Dan Carlin. Dan Carlin. Uh, well, I've requested all of these.

This is going to cost you

a lot. What

are their quotes? You know, they're just saying hello

to the kids. Well, I gave them a prompt. I said, could you kind of come in and just give the most, like a sort of all encompassing lesson about your, your topic of study.

Um, I'll pay you whatever you need. If Dan Carlin says, yes, he has to pronounce Genghis Khan the way I just said it. If he says Genghis the whole time, like he did in the podcast, I'm not paying him for the

cameo. Look, it's going to be

tough.

It's like when people say Neanderthals. That might be the way it said.

We all say Neanderthal in the modern day. You have to be so confident to push the real pronunciation despite the entire population.

The last time I ordered hummus, I got a, was such a look.

Well, it's tough at McDonald's. It

is tough.

Honey, barbecue sauce, just a McNuggets with hummus, please.

I don't think we have that. What did you say? Fish filet, tahini. Howard, I think that

farm out is a great idea. I think we learned a long time ago, if you can farm out 40 % of your work and it makes you do the other 60 % that much better, it's really good for you. Totally. But you've tried to farm out immediately to the best people in the world at what they do. Well, I didn't finish the list.

Oh, okay.

You got some duds on there too. Well, no, I wouldn't say duds, but I just got some.

You got that little boy on TikTok who's obsessed with tractors?

Yeah.

Everybody pause right now and watch that boy for 45 minutes. And don't even come back, honestly. That's the pod.

That's the pod.

I

don't know what his name is, but he's obsessed with tractors. It's something Jackson. It's something Jackson. It's unbelievable. He's obsessed with tractors.

And he knows everything. He knows everything. He knows everything

there is to know about tractors, but I did get him to talk because there could be some sort of like agricultural stuff. I also, I also wanted to cover my bases because I do believe there's going to be some pop culture stuff that's in there. So I got a cameo from,

from Bevo. You know Bevo.

Bevo. Oh,

Mr. No Chew.

Yeah.

called? Veneers. Veneers. And he's British. He's

a gold bear. He looks like a beaver. And he eats food and reviews it, but he never chews. He chews one, one, you've never seen Bevo?

You have to. No,

everybody probably. He

doesn't chew. Go listen to Bevo and don't come back.

Go look at, yeah.

Unfortunately, Bevo is worried he might have to quit doing what he does because he's not making enough money.

Wait, and he's like human snake. He just goes. Kind of. That's a good

description of him. Pelican man. But

I figure he has a lot of insight on sort of social media and sort of culture. in the moment.

It seems like it's really hard to plan for every possible question on every possible

subject. Well, on a budget.

Is there any way for you to figure out like more specifically what the questions are going to be? Like what about in White Men Can't Jump where they just prepare keywords and it happens to be the Jeopardy thing?

Right.

Quince. I don't know. I'm going to go ahead and say I'm picking up what you're putting down, Sam. I don't know if I'm interested in sort of stealing the questions or anything like that, if that's what you were going to pitch.

No. I

could tell. Well, headquarters, everything, as you guys know, for the future leaders of tomorrow competition is kept at headquarters.

Yes. Headquarters. And all of the questions there. All of the roots for the. You're not

suggesting we break into headquarters.

Yeah. We cannot. In the second episode of this season, we cannot break into headquarters.

headquarters is in D .C., right? Headquarters is in

I mean,

stuff. Crap, man. Oh, okay. Not how Catherine

Zeta -Jones leaves Michael Douglas from being attacked. Yes. Which he's also very heavily guarded. Right. Her husband, Michael Douglas. Yes. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. It's not that. We're not going to do that. We're not going to break into headquarters and steal the questions.

You have to go down

an air

shaft.

Like Ethan himself. Just

like the guy. The guy. Just like our guy, Ethan. You got to work with your dad, like Nicolas Cage in National Treasure. Yes. John Voight. You have to fight. Who Ethan also works with.

Yes. You have to fight a bunch of people. It's all connected.

Yes. John Voight goes all the way to the top. Whoa. You have to fight a bunch of people in a tomb with

big heads.

You have to fight

Big hands the Hulk. Big

each other.

heads in a tomb. Nintendo 64 style against each other. Sure. You have to

drink a bunch of Kool -Aid in a mud pit. Yes. Yes. You know what I mean? Just random stuff.

No. It's Nintendo 64 GoldenEye when you face off

against each other. You have DK mode on. Oh. Okay. That's what it was. No.

Look. It's a fun idea, but I just don't think we could do it. We have to do it honestly. Let's do it right. Let's do it right. Let's do it right. We are here. We are making the most money we've ever made pending audience number, crowd number, student numbers.

Student number. Test scores. We will make the most money. All right? We have got these big corporate jobs. It's not public school anymore. We're not stealing government money.

No. No. Right? I mean, the tough thing is

if we don't do well this year, the investors of the school, we need to offer a return. And if we don't do well, we will be our 90 -10 split will only last one year. We will not even get to that third year. It makes it so impossible to take any risks when

there's so much pressure on you. You know what I mean? It makes you want to cheat right away. I really cannot work for a quarter split of 9%. We need to keep our 10%.

Yes. We

have to do. Have I ever done anything, honestly? Yes, Sam. Yes. Sam. Really? You gave me the best scary baseball massage I've ever had in my life. Do you remember that? Really? Yes, Sam. I thought you were just saying, ouch,

to be nice. No. No. It hurts so good.

Sam, you were my agent for a long time. Yes. Just completely doing it by the book.

Slick back here. Putting me in those rooms. Slick back hair. Driving a mid -90s Mercedes Benz to the top. Couldn't come up. In the rain. Sam. You

get to the office.

Okay. Sam, at one point, you ate your whole body. Your own

body. You turned into chicken fingers. Not a lot of people have

done that, Sam. You fed us yourself. You love us so much. You raised little boy cowboys. I guess I can't

do two things with you. You've done a lot. You have

a lot

to be proud of.

Out of, I think, the past 25 times we've played Madden, you beat me four times, Sam.

Wow. You guys play Madden a lot?

Oh, we play Madden

all the time. We play

Madden all the time. Will you play Madden all the time? You've got to play

Madden, dude.

Madden's back, dude. Do -do -do -do -do.

Madden. Beep. Madden. We're playing. We're playing

on the biggest TV. Tiniest little tray.

Oh, y 'all's TVs are working. Tiny. Yeah.

Oh, interesting.

I got a good rat. I have to good rat here. Uh -oh. Howard, your TV hasn't been working? No. Have you noticed that there's been a lot of cars parked outside of your house, like people making out of them watching the side of your house? Yeah.

We put a facade of a TV on the back of your TV, then turned your TV around,

and are renting it out as a drive -in movie theater. And a drive -thru

McDonald's. Yeah. Drive -thru

McDonald's. Well,

that's frustrating. Which has hummus. Finally, at the McDonald's with hummus.

So that's what all these texts you've been sending me to click

the enter button on my remote controller. Yeah. Is it when are you still watching pops up? Yes. It's when are you still

watching, because we've got stuff playing all day. We basically just turn ... By the way, you are subscribed to everything

now. Yeah. And we bring all our honeys to

it. And we sit, and we pig out, and we eat in the car. And that's why we send you texts about putting your earplugs. And that's

crazy.

watch a movie that Starz

Women just runs And we listen to the movie in the little shittiest speaker you've ever heard, right

here to the left. And it's so rustic. It's so rustic. You can't see the screen for four hours -ish, but then at sundown when you're exhausted, you can see it perfectly.

Yes. The person who is funding it gives about a 30 -minute speech up top about how you can't pay for it.

Everybody needs some help. Everybody

there

... He says about if you really love the cinema, you'll donate

on your way out. Jesus, man.

I just

what they seem ... We've been replacing your milk

Yeah. Those are not

cardboard boxes.

And we put ... Nuggets of ... Poop.

No. That box of milk duds was not nuggets of poop. Beep.

That was not.

I ate the whole

Usually, the inside of the box is white. No way. Did you see that this one wasn't? I thought the chocolate had just melted.

We're sorry, Howard, but we are

good writing on ... This is some stinky chocolate. A weight lifted yet again. Thank you for letting me admit this to you, Howard. It feels so good.

Howard, you are the best sport. Thank you for being understanding.

I tell you what.

Go ahead. We're going to go ahead and say you are.

From 9 a .m. to noon, turn that TV around and watch whatever the hell

you want. I don't even know how. I don't even know how you guys have this thing set up. I guess I can look.

Well, no. I mean, the

projector will still be outside,

so you won't be able to see. I just thought it wouldn't turn on. Oh, you thought it was broken. That's right. Right. Well, thank you for that, Howard. I guess. You're

welcome. We have to share our ... Well, we have it.

Well,

I think that ... Because movies are done.

I think that my brain is ... He's

so

sad about movies. He's

so sad about movies being gone.

Movies are gone.

They're still coming out weekly, and people are going to see this. Todd, don't you know what this means? With movies dying, people will have to come see your plays, even when they don't want to. Oh.

People will be pushed to live theater, even though they generally hate it. Plays written by robots, probably.

I

wish that was good. If you're lucky.

No.

He's kicking a rock

around over

there.

He's just kicking ... I've wasted my whole life. Why did I get into this career?

Todd, I think you need ... Todd, don't get too real. Yeah. Todd, don't get too real.

Todd, keep

it fun. What's going to

happen? Todd,

speak through the character. Keep being the character. Oh, you're going to be Jim

Carrey? You're going to be Jim Carrey?

Todd, I have no idea. You have to be vulnerable once for that to happen, Todd. Todd, your goal was to be like Jim

Carrey? Todd. Yes. I mean,

I know you

used

I wouldn't even lie. It was too vulnerable. Or tell the truth, whatever the plot of it is. I couldn't do Liar

Liar

because I lied. You didn't do the last act where you ... I lied through the whole thing. You couldn't ...

You just kept

lying and then it ended. Including the meet and greet after the show.

I lied through the meet and greet. I lied through the whole thing.

Yeah. Your play was called Liar, Liar, Liar, Liar, Liar, Liar. Yeah. It was more of an accusation.

But

no, this is nice. This is actually better. I get to sit with my friends for a few thousand dollars a year. And ...

Todd,

I'm just going to say, you know what? I love you. I love you.

Yeah.

I love you too, Sam.

okay.

Thanks, man.

Yeah, we all love each other. All right?

And we're doing okay. And I'm also ... And I'm also

... And I'm also ... And I'm also ... And I'm also ... And

I'm also ... And I'm also ...

And I'm

also ... And I'm also ... And I'm also ...

And I'm also ...

And I'm also ... And I'm also ... And I'm also ... And I'm also ...

And I'm also ... And I'm also ... And I'm also ... And I'm also ...

And I'm also ... Clip

that. Because I wasn't clear enough. The detail of the clip is funny guys can't do the one thing they tried once in the podcast, but the rest of it was good.

Not clear on callback energy. Maybe funny

guys shaky on the landing.

Listen, we're going to upload the bra files to Dropbox. Someone please fix the whole show and make

it good. Edit this for us. Cut everything out.

And please

don't post the stuff that we cut. That

you cut. Excuse us. Thank you.

Thank you. Well guys, I think we've made a lot of progress today. I

think we really know we're going to cheat. Yeah, we're all going to break in. I

think we know we're going to cheat.

And I

think that we have our marching orders.

And I for one feel like I can go to class. Sorry, wake up, go to class and be a good teacher because I'm prepared. I'm going to

go to class. I'm going to keep that little boy who's obsessed with trains out of here, off the campus. Get him out of here and then

keep my boys. That's your takeaway from everything you talked about.

I think we all loved him. No, he's distracting my boys because he's

trying to comment on their speech. Every young athlete gets is you can't get distracted by the sexual stuff, by the bright lights. When every basketball player, every football player,

when train boy shows up, you all can't let that distract.

every rower,

into Manhattan. Howard, let him cook. Okay? He is coming. Let him cook. And he's not going to be late.

All right? 832. Howard, let him go. Let him cook, Howard. Here he is. Woo, woo, woo,

woo, woo. It's a young kid from the UK who is obsessed with trains. And he's looking to distract my boys whose faces look now like trains. Actually, the back of their heads look like trains because when they

row,