Seekers' Lounge
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s13e05

5. Kazumpet

Originally aired: December 2, 2024

The Teachers discuss the return of the mannequins and attend a mandatory etiquette class.

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do that's nice when you do

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that at the flagpole racing every

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morning yeah that's what i'm doing that's my little routine your

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trumpet is something's wrong with it like it's it's like a little muted or something but i i it's it's unbelievable the notes you're hitting it's interesting

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it's really

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interesting because i know well i i guess i always had a different idea of what a trumpet was yeah i mean like i think this is more of a kazoo type of

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situation you're making the noise and there's no read it's a kazumpet

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i do it all with my mouth i know it's a kazumpet from the side it looks like a to rump it but it's a kazumpet

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but from

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side

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the

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it looks like

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it's got donald trump's head to rump it to rump it anyway so that's what i'm doing in the morning if you guys want to wake up before the rooster you will hear it but typically i know

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the rooster snoozing the rooster is causing us all to be the rooster at this school which it honestly i didn't even realize we had one because it so infrequently cock -a -doodle -do's well he's out all hours of the night

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he's

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out what it is is the rooster party

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the rooster is part

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well not all roosters have to work for us some roosters just want to live their goddamn lives yes these roosters have been the roosters got on tiktok and they're learning about like work -life

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capitalism work -life

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balance i heard a lot of roosters are not so quietly quitting and then they leave

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cock -a -doodle let's see quit -a -doodle -do it is nice to have the roosters and the animals on campus it does make it feel a little bit more homey in this fancy area

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yeah

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yeah

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yeah a lot of the animals are trying to get in on the wake -up call and the cows don't really have it like they can't really get the the volume you need i know again you guys

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are go to scream we call them moosters

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yes

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they've got

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the moosters now that's a great name for them the goats of course are goosters yes they're the

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goosters the geese are also goosters

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are geesters excuse me well on easter they're geesters yes on

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geese

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easter they're geesters that's what i've been up to i've been up to a lot of animal stuff making sure everybody's up on time because the training for this competition is really important so i want to make sure that everybody's standardized we are waking up at 5 46 every morning everybody on

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campus 5 46 5 46 yeah uh i i it's been tough for me because i get all my best work done uh when everyone else is asleep um so all right a little bit of a night owl

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am who's also who not around at night yeah he's he's gone

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i

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he's more

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of a night owl yeah he's he's up around the day he's all messed up the night owl is on totally reversed schedule

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well i heard the night owl and the rooster are hanging out together and they're sort of giving each other a little bit of the opposite

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yeah they learned from each other like the rooster was like oh i kind of like what you do in the night i was like i'm more of a day guy yeah yeah we're

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tired of like being stuck in our roles so they a lot of animals are switching

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totally it's a

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hurt neck though because he's trying to turn his head like the owl and it doesn't work like that oh i wish you asked me i've been there brother

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you try to go 360 with your neck when you see a beautiful lady i do

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well it's the only way to get caught not looking

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right

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is you keep your body the same way and then you yeah and you wear sunglasses on both sides

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but you wear sunglasses on both sides nobody knows yes i'm sorry if there was a cut in the video or the audio we had some technical issues i'm fucking pissed off about

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it it's all right todd it's okay

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i think people get it and it's fine buddy it's

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you know can i say something

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fine

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yes thank you if it's for sale on amazon thank you if it's

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for sale okay okay i'm kidding no i'm joking i'm joking look i'm trying to take i'm trying to be funny it was

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funny okay good yes it was yes you can yes you can talk if it's for sale on amazon like you worry about these cords it just simply has to work

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yeah

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how come just because it's on the internet there's no rules anymore you can just buy something and it's just fake yeah amazon submissions

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i mean i know that i know we're constantly submitting oh yeah

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so barbara sam's on constantly and i tell you what i like their acceptance policy they've accepted just about many things i've done

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my store nothing on

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my storefront works

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nothing

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yeah a lot of people get into car crashes with your new contacts or glasses well i don't know what they are and it says contacts

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or glasses

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is what you'll get well but you're doing a great thing where you're just going like let's counter program you're selling the thickest contacts and the thinnest glasses you can find

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some people are saying do thin contacts and thick glasses

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some by some people you mean all people exactly

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unanimously yeah the reviews are

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unanimous but you have to counter program if you're going to put out a huge marvel movie in may that's also when you put out the little dinky love story

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because some people are going to marvel but some people got to go to the other thing and so you're saying there's most people want small contacts and probably small glasses

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regulation regulation

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the counter programming is huge contacts

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it's tiny tiny glasses i'm

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going after dinky movie we all know that dinky movie works if you put it with marvel

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when you're small you have to own your dinkiness

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yes and that way you know what market you're filling when you big you can't be dinky anymore you

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yeah your contact and heimer marketing didn't really work you contact and heimer did not work no no no and it was contact and heimer versus the barbie glasses and it i was like they were like what even is this and it's that was eight months ago and accepted

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can't be

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accepted on amazon

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selling right now accepted and promoted and featured and customer reviewed our pick

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it ended up being our pick on perfect time for thanksgiving go get those gifts for thanks give

0:06:54 Speaker 4

oh yeah let let's quickly kitchen corner thanksgiving it's done it's done oh it's just done

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it's done so you mean the meal the travel the whole thing it's

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it's so close to christmas i personally it's the same exact food both times

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done

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yes can we be honest there's not a thankful person in our country

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no one's giving thanks at these

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dinners yeah oh yeah and you get a real sense of that when you come to a place like this

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this school can't eat more and give thanks you know yes and i don't

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i'm just throwing this big headline out there because it's like gluttony you're taking too much in maybe the actual thing we could do here is quarter counter program thanksgiving

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yes

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genius

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and it's actually it's all the same thing it's no food and it's expressing your sort of gratefulness and thankfulness for being alive by taking a day off

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and i think branding is a huge part of it thanks giving what a name for just a dumb day where you eat right what is what it so are we are our opposite counter maybe just another normal day another normal day

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you don't have to

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see your family

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you're off is a good

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day

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you know we don't even talk about what

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you're off

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this thanksgiving you're off everybody's off

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because thanksgiving has become its own full -time job what do you mean i gotta open i gotta open

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the jar of cranberries now step back

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let him cook okay so i gotta brine the turkey overnight to get them all wet and then i put them in the oven all day to dry him off

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let him not cook it sounds like

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yeah he

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doesn't thank you let him roll point i'm off today folks

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yes i am um so we're doing you're off this

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year we're off this uh last thursday of november well yeah because it's also we were and it was also a situation where they were they were they were asking us to be the four people who stay here for kids who

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can't who don't have anywhere to go right we were gonna have to do the holdovers kind of

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with the four of us and like the 12 or 15 to 15 kids who don't have families to go home to or whatever but we we told them well there's a new holiday you're off nobody goes home i was thinking about going hard yes to that and doing it in a ruined fashion yeah we'll do that and then just show the kids you should have gone somewhere else this

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sucks you made teachers stay here this this holiday sucks there's football and i can't even watch it here's your thanksgiving you watch me play ncaa 2025

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this is the one day a year that i love football and i can't watch it

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i'll give you one day i'm complaining about not being able to watch

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the

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fucking game i'm watching the game

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i'll give you this thanksgiving a heaping spoonful of me in front of the tv watching the game yum yum yum yum yum that is what you're gonna get

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that's

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what you're getting i'll tell you what you're getting with

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me dominoes dominoes it's dominoes is closed again on this thanksgiving

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oh

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they're gonna have if somebody keeps telling me that dominoes is better than ever i'm gonna lose my mind dominoes is actually good now

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we're back in the corner is that is it that's true it is better than ever really it's better than ever well that's uh yeah

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did other dominoes which was never good

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yeah it's better than ever

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if you if all right here's the thing if every day of your life you eat a big poop and then exactly and then and then one day you you come down for dinner and it's a plate of of

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of uh rotten potatoes

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you'll be happy with the rotten potatoes because it's not poop

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i think

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we've rethought

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the recipe recipe

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okay something there

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it's when you have to pay for

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it yeah which is oh oh that's the kitchen corner recipes yeah i think you've already done this

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one have i did this one yeah i think i only texted it

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they

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to put the recipe up higher the recipe must be up higher on these websites i'm scrolling i'm scrolling i'm scrolling just to find out i don't have any of the spices how often are you hurting your finger scrolling

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need

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i'm not my finger's stronger than ever

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my left thumb is never been hurt scrolling you scroll with your left

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yeah

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thumb

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well i'm left -handed

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ah yes you know in all the years that i've known you i don't think i've ever recognized that you're left -handed well that's because i do everything else right -footed

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i have noticed that you're right -footed for sure when you paint when you drive

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back sign papers

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you sign papers i guess i just hadn't seen

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the other stuff when i hit

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clean up

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and softball i'm right -footed

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you're right -footed south soul

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what is that a play on

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southpaw

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yes

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but no there are a lot's happened this week though we

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should catch the listeners up all right we're stepping out of

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the kitchen sorry officially we've officially ended officially but

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uh again send us your kitchen corners on social media

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yeah

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what are you complaining about i hear you i don't know am i low am i low i got you sorry that was my amazon bullshit no no no you're right my bad

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no this it's amazon

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it's i got these headphones from amazon

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it's bezos man none of this work why don't we get his kid in here and kill him hold on

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todd we we got that memo from the school that cannot be our first

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solution to every problem i agree that like without some sort of threat these kids aren't going to respond he's so mob -minded

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i

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know he's

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so mob

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-minded with

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oh you know that kid i told that kid abdul i brought him in and i said here's a picture of your house he said why are you showing that todd and i said why do you think abdul

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these corporations

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full trump strategy yeah he said that debate and i was like that's what i do

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yeah

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you

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can't do that he

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showed the leader of a terrorist organization a photo of his own house

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is

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as a threat to say if you don't stop doing what you're doing i'm gonna blow up your house you cannot be you can't go into exxon mobil and be like i know where your mother lives okay

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whose which ones well then what all they have to do to make that never happen again and by the way after i did that fully stocked on the horny goat weed

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you were going after the gas company you were going after the

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lack of horny goat weed that didn't have horny

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todd i don't

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goat weed

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think i got my baby on the

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bed

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does horny

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goat weed do anything he said i don't have enough goat energy in the

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bedroom

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right it's

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horny i'm looking for oh i'm horny but i need goat in there you know is horny goat weed for you or your lady

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oh my lady my lady doesn't need it but i oh

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yeah i

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really it's crazy my

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lady doesn't even

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need it it's for me i really thought i thought things were going so well with this with this new girlfriend todd i

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thought you you would you would probably you know relax you'd stop doing stuff like threatening gas station attendance and threatening to murder jeff bezos's son i thought you'd

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maybe chill out a

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little bit i i'm chill but when you got your lady waiting for you you go in

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first of all the extra small condoms you have to ask for which is for me against the rules why keep those behind the counter

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i think

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i think we all know why i think we all know why and they have that camera that's really close up front so it gets a close -up i don't know what they do with those videos

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i'll tell you what they do they send them to you and they go if you come back and complain again we're posting this online

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i

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todd i want to tell you i actually do know about i know i know the the people who are doing that to you it's the same producers as infrared blast

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oh no it's ribiero yes don't tell me those are on

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afv it's alfonso ribiero

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it's an offshoot yes it's it's you're gonna be on condom you're on you know

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that

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that the the plexiglass with the little speaker that you're speaking to the person behind

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yeah

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that's actually piped into the studio

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i am

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enunciating so well when

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i see those what do you need sir they say

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yeah you say

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some

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condoms smallest

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size

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it's but your microphone work is becoming amazing

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it's really if if the worst thing that comes out of this is that i get some vo work over

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my well hold on we have we have the wave files do we want to just pipe them in real

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quick i can't believe you're going to do

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this well they were nice enough to condom truth

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it comes on after infrared blast this fall 9 30 p

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.m so we did have it but i was on

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truth i also

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condom

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heard they have so much footage that they're thinking about spending it off into a second show yeah

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really we'll see oh just more different condom related yeah there's just so many hours they can't fit it all in one season yeah more condom truths so

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it's a second show

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they can sell double the advertising on

0:15:51 Speaker 5

this well this time they also have a camera on the guy that works there so it's a little bit of call and response

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yeah i'm gonna play the wave file that got us picked up for the first season just as hot

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ordering yeah we yeah not me

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not us the royal us the royal us

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hey man what can i get you hey how you doing i'm good man what can i get you i know what

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you're right

0:16:16 Speaker 3

i know what you're here for just say it um actually back up just a little bit back up just a little bit and then um

0:16:23 Speaker 1

chin down all right i'm gonna keep my lips forward what was that said it said like when the dmv takes a

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picture oh yeah it was just a 4k camera no big deal

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great

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okay i'm not robbing you so i'm fine being on this camera what

0:16:39 Speaker 1

can i get you the height thing is wrong there's no way i'm 5 '2 by the way the height thing behind me

0:16:44 Speaker 3

yeah you can get off your knees i don't know what you're doing

0:16:47 Speaker 1

oh sorry it's just easier for you to

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give me sir what do you need just ask for the

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small condoms could i get the magnums

0:16:54 Speaker 3

sure but you have to prove it

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okay well today just i'll get extra small then

0:17:03 Speaker 3

hey i've been there brother i get it it's cold out it's cold

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outside it's a little colder

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um

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how many did you want

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we got a bag of one i

0:17:13 Speaker 1

just don't want to keep coming back for

0:17:15 Speaker 3

these okay cool do you want to do singles or do you want to do a 300 pack what's the price difference um they're way more expensive as singles

0:17:24 Speaker 1

yeah i just don't have room for the big box though

0:17:28 Speaker 3

yeah all the extra packaging

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let me do 300 singles count them out

0:17:32 Speaker 3

for me

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hey buddy can you hustle up please

0:17:37 Speaker 1

okay i am trying to get extra small condoms right now because i went into

0:17:45 Speaker 3

just use my bill counter for the condoms i was tired of doing them one by one so i threw the condoms in the bill the bill counter did you want these laundered by the way oh is that something you offer

0:18:00 Speaker 1

yeah we can launder these how

0:18:01 Speaker 3

people launder money yeah

0:18:03 Speaker 1

so that you put it

0:18:05 Speaker 3

sorry i got my wires crossed that's a different show i

0:18:08 Speaker 1

brought okay great yeah i'll take a uh launder sir i'll have you know i'm about to have sex with my girlfriend

0:18:14 Speaker 3

awesome

0:18:15 Speaker 1

so uh

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i guess they cut

0:18:17 Speaker 4

out there because they didn't believe it

0:18:18 Speaker 1

after that whoa

0:18:19 Speaker 3

that was yeah that would that that really worked yeah 300 singles i would watch that show and i will watch that show as a producer i'm finding out that we are we are we are producing it

0:18:30 Speaker 1

it's by the way there's no shame whatever your penis size

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is yes it's the one thing about your body you cannot control

0:18:39 Speaker 1

that is what god gave us and in her knowledge i'm not gonna like stop

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to

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give you points just continue through this story she very good time good does not give us any challenges

0:18:56 Speaker 5

that we that isn't even like a woke thing yeah cannot handle yeah so god and all her

0:19:09 Speaker 4

who did this work on who did this work whiz smart that's not

0:19:09 Speaker 1

whiz

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well she's not whiz

0:19:15 Speaker 4

dumb okay todd it's not even spelled that way okay todd well i mean you did reference your girlfriend in the uh condom truths

0:19:25 Speaker 3

clip i think that's why todd's a little bit annoying he's so in love right now that he's just kind of like it's

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softened him in a weird way that i'm

0:19:32 Speaker 1

not comfortable seeing him right and it's kind of weird it's a big switch it's a big switch i don't know what would be annoying i get brunches all the time now um i wake up and i nuzzle

0:19:44 Speaker 5

well i've i think something that's been a little

0:19:46 Speaker 3

bit annoying to me talking about it all

0:19:48 Speaker 5

i think you you haven't gotten the courage to post these on tiktok yet but you have been sending little videos to the group text of you making uh making really intricate little lunches and brunches for your honey

0:20:00 Speaker 1

oh i make

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my honey yeah i

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show my love to my honey in the meals that i make for her uh you sent us a picture of a burnt grilled cheese that said cooking for the love of my

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life the other day

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yeah that was her bento box yeah you can't you just because the containers are cute doesn't mean you can put burnt bad food in it and it's sweet okay

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you're not a

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cook i i think i i and i you are not a cook okay nixon okay nixon

0:20:32 Speaker 1

it is cute to see you taking care of your lady and just feeling so

0:20:32 Speaker 5

all right

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moved it's definitely a different side that i've never seen before

0:20:38 Speaker 1

exactly it is really

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nice

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it is a certain sense i made her a matcha tea

0:20:47 Speaker 1

uh -huh right and it's wonderful because i have all these reusable containers so she brings them back mostly full and i can just dump them out and make the next day's meal in there

0:20:56 Speaker 3

what do you think she's putting back in there that's green and

0:20:59 Speaker 1

what do you oh i don't she's giving you them back fully full of food you made her no maybe she's drinking everything and then replacing it just so it has the same weight all the time

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that's

0:21:09 Speaker 3

what it is i thought she wasn't eating or drinking my food but she's probably

0:21:12 Speaker 4

replacing all the food with food that looks the same

0:21:16 Speaker 3

so hey if you're happy if you're happy

0:21:18 Speaker 1

i'm happy for you todd i just never thought i'd be like supporting you in this way and it's interesting it's nice to see you sort of

0:21:25 Speaker 3

honestly just not be in a fight with somebody

0:21:27 Speaker 1

you're like agreeing for the first time ever your your creativity actually seems like it's working you're actually writing plays the roof

0:21:36 Speaker 3

yeah plays poems

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short novellas i am just i can't stop right very short

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i was

0:21:44 Speaker 3

sometimes you can't tell the difference between a poem and a poem

0:21:44 Speaker 1

also

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novella no oh

0:21:51 Speaker 3

novellas tell a story and the poems are more uh ethereal and i was uh love love love most of them are acrostic i'll say

0:22:00 Speaker 1

love loving my lady oh orgasms sometimes v very sexy lady

0:22:12 Speaker 6

e everyone knows the orgasms thing was not true

0:22:19 Speaker 4

that's good so e for everyone knows or orgasms always never never oh okay right now

0:22:26 Speaker 3

but it doesn't matter it's just right now yeah

0:22:28 Speaker 0

right

0:22:29 Speaker 3

now it's early

0:22:30 Speaker 1

well it's early

0:22:31 Speaker 0

you don't know forever that's the thing in a relationship you don't know about the future

0:22:34 Speaker 1

you

0:22:35 Speaker 0

only know about right now

0:22:36 Speaker 1

does it feel good right now good are you having orgasms right now no it is just so hard to be vulnerable in bed with somebody take

0:22:43 Speaker 3

your clothes off tell them what you like for me

0:22:47 Speaker 1

pure silence hope we like the same thing if not i'll go to the bathroom and figure it out afterwards yeah oh my

0:22:54 Speaker 6

god

0:22:59 Speaker 3

so you have a tough time kind of getting started with with what we want to do tonight or right because i've noticed your house and also your room has a ton of holes banged into the wall are you doing sort of like a glory hole situation with

0:23:15 Speaker 4

your gs or are you spying on her hoping you could figure out her needs

0:23:19 Speaker 5

or are you sexually

0:23:20 Speaker 3

frustrated and you're punching the wall every chance that you can well there were a couple that were penisized and then a couple that looked like they were for the front of women like not really a hole but more of

0:23:32 Speaker 1

like a big square i guess you'd call it a box right yes my room is now more whole than wall i would say and it's all three of those things they're all options

0:23:44 Speaker 3

sometimes i'm spying just to know what she's into so that i can uh it's a good way to find out once you leave the room she'll really

0:23:53 Speaker 1

let her sexuality well if you if you ask people they're embarrassed sometimes it's like what are the two scariest things in the world to people dogs dogs

0:24:03 Speaker 3

yeah that's one of them yeah dogs for sure death and death yeah yeah

0:24:07 Speaker 1

so what are you talking about

0:24:12 Speaker 3

i guess you're talking about three and four

0:24:14 Speaker 1

and then we get to

0:24:15 Speaker 3

three and four so it's dogs beavers beavers of course we can do the list beavers kind of works i see what you're

0:24:22 Speaker 6

saying no not in that sick way no no literally just beavers are scary what are they doing they could breathe

0:24:28 Speaker 0

they could

0:24:29 Speaker 6

create a whole ecosystem with the dams they

0:24:31 Speaker 0

make right what's up those teeth so then we get to number four so it's dogs it's death it's beavers but what are people the fourth most scared

0:24:38 Speaker 5

being broke being

0:24:39 Speaker 6

broke

0:24:40 Speaker 3

yeah of course

0:24:43 Speaker 4

so you do some of that

0:24:44 Speaker 5

in your room

0:24:45 Speaker 4

you do some of course being broke behind beavers yes but you

0:24:49 Speaker 5

know beavers number

0:24:49 Speaker 4

three being broke number four yes of course oh

0:24:53 Speaker 1

my god and todd you've been writing some uh you've been leaving

0:24:59 Speaker 4

female magazines around the house of like how to please your man these are self -written

0:25:05 Speaker 3

things cosmo and sort of your version of a cosmo to sort of like speak to her harvey wallbanger yes harvey wallbanger yes

0:25:16 Speaker 1

she doesn't know yet that harvey wallbangers isn't a real magazine what is harvey wallbanger

0:25:25 Speaker 3

i think it's one of the most disgusting alcoholic drinks you can

0:25:28 Speaker 1

order it's a cocktail but it's also a play on words and i think subconsciously because i make all these holes in the walls i

0:25:34 Speaker 4

must be thinking about that

0:25:35 Speaker 1

right

0:25:36 Speaker 4

right

0:25:36 Speaker 1

right

0:25:36 Speaker 4

so you're writing a magazine called harvey

0:25:40 Speaker 3

wallbangers to speak to tell your woman what she should like things that you do that are actually good ten different ways to please todd podras

0:25:48 Speaker 4

yeah well yeah you shouldn't that he ran that title

0:25:54 Speaker 5

by us and we were like

0:25:55 Speaker 4

todd she's gonna know

0:25:56 Speaker 5

i'll also say that before you published it you should have finished the list it

0:25:59 Speaker 4

got hard

0:26:00 Speaker 6

yeah

0:26:01 Speaker 6

so hard ten things and it only has one one thing on the list patch the holes yeah

0:26:01 Speaker 4

it's

0:26:09 Speaker 6

to get your girlfriend

0:26:09 Speaker 5

you're trying

0:26:11 Speaker 3

to fix your apartment through a magazine called harvey wallbangers with a list with one entry and it's supposed to have ten

0:26:19 Speaker 1

i cannot figure out like i am so focused on the holes when we're trying to have sex

0:26:25 Speaker 4

that i need them patched and so i'm hoping she does after reading harvey wallbangers patching drywall is really a problem it's really

0:26:34 Speaker 1

hard it's really tough because then you gotta paint over it you gotta sand it

0:26:37 Speaker 4

probably first smooth it out paint over

0:26:39 Speaker 3

it again todd you know what i feel like i haven't done my due diligence as a friend

0:26:44 Speaker 1

what

0:26:45 Speaker 4

do you love most about

0:26:48 Speaker 3

can we say her name on

0:26:49 Speaker 5

the podcast what's her name did we have we said her name i believe we

0:26:53 Speaker 3

may have and we did we did what do you love most about what's her name

0:26:59 Speaker 1

well we know it's not her name i knew that question was coming and the first thing that flashed in my mind has to be her hair i like her hair so

0:27:08 Speaker 6

beautiful

0:27:08 Speaker 5

much that's

0:27:09 Speaker 5

she does have really nice hair it's true it is

0:27:11 Speaker 1

nice beautiful full

0:27:12 Speaker 1

a little bit of a throwback she does like one of those sort of like big 80s kind of

0:27:12 Speaker 5

hair

0:27:17 Speaker 5

yeah pound for pound most hair in the world yeah

0:27:17 Speaker 3

blowouts

0:27:21 Speaker 4

guinness guinness world record

0:27:23 Speaker 3

holder pound for pound yeah yeah

0:27:25 Speaker 4

not length what does that mean pound for pound like how is

0:27:28 Speaker 5

that it means not comparing on equal it's like it's like if you're bigger you're you are like it's it's basically eliminating variables

0:27:36 Speaker 1

that are in equal as the crow flies

0:27:37 Speaker 5

i

0:27:38 Speaker 1

see so so by

0:27:40 Speaker 4

and large yeah by and large pound for pound is as the crow flies okay okay okay

0:27:44 Speaker 1

so i guess her hair um you know she loves tv um and i'm a fan of the arts

0:27:53 Speaker 3

so you know it's

0:27:54 Speaker 0

like a lot of she'll just watch tv all

0:27:57 Speaker 3

day you love that about her this

0:28:01 Speaker 4

is your

0:28:01 Speaker 3

number two thing

0:28:02 Speaker 3

the heaviest hair on earth and she watches tv all

0:28:02 Speaker 1

she has

0:28:05 Speaker 1

day and that's what she love about her she's so passionate about tv she watches it all day

0:28:09 Speaker 4

that's so you must connect over that she's watching tv so much

0:28:12 Speaker 1

she's not going to work

0:28:14 Speaker 4

she doesn't she has a pretty important job well

0:28:17 Speaker 1

she works at a school yeah she works at our one of our rival schools she's a theater teacher there but theater stuff you could take the day off it's the same

0:28:25 Speaker 3

thing that's nice to hear

0:28:26 Speaker 1

they're right in the middle of

0:28:27 Speaker 4

a workshop

0:28:29 Speaker 4

they're in the middle of a workshop of

0:28:29 Speaker 1

yeah

0:28:31 Speaker 1

streetcar they're working they're workshopping um streetcar named desire

0:28:35 Speaker 4

yeah tennessee williams brilliant writer

0:28:37 Speaker 1

um yeah but you you guys have hobbies you know when you're just so

0:28:42 Speaker 0

into a hobby you forget what time it is and all of a sudden it's like i am 11 hours into ncis and i had no idea i i forgot

0:28:51 Speaker 3

don't talk to me about a flow state

0:28:53 Speaker 1

i will get caught in a flow state and you will find me somewhere else the other day i went down a water slide

0:28:59 Speaker 3

and i was flowing

0:29:01 Speaker 1

that's how you get to your flow state that's right well because

0:29:03 Speaker 3

that is perfectly difficult for you yes going down a water slide

0:29:07 Speaker 3

not too hard

0:29:07 Speaker 0

it's

0:29:08 Speaker 0

that you're gonna give up but it's not so easy that you get bored my man knows exactly how it works even though it is a little challenging for you i would say

0:29:14 Speaker 3

yeah i don't like the water i'm afraid of it i hate to swim i feel like a cat in water

0:29:20 Speaker 5

so the slide heights are also tough for you heights are tough i can't walk up the big structure climbing is tough

0:29:25 Speaker 3

for

0:29:26 Speaker 5

you going up or going down lifeguards are hard the latex of the tube really

0:29:30 Speaker 1

chaps my ass daytime is tough for you daytime sunburns my skin bad we know that top 40 music yeah makes me enraged

0:29:38 Speaker 3

love regular ice cream

0:29:38 Speaker 5

i

0:29:42 Speaker 5

you hate having

0:29:43 Speaker 3

a person in front of you and behind you but when you're on that slide you can't think about any of those things because you're so terrified that you're just in the zone like you're saying and you

0:29:53 Speaker 4

don't even know that time is passing sam mostly goes down these uh uh on his stomach head last so looking back where he came

0:30:03 Speaker 5

from screaming and clawing

0:30:05 Speaker 4

as if he was trying he finds his way to that position by at the last second

0:30:10 Speaker 6

regretting

0:30:10 Speaker 4

pushing off and trying to turn around and grab back onto the top of the slide

0:30:15 Speaker 1

usually grabbing the lifeguard

0:30:17 Speaker 3

bringing him with you their trunks have gotten higher and higher because of you they now wear the drawstring over their net to avoid getting pants and and they all have to carry they all have to open carry

0:30:31 Speaker 6

now yeah

0:30:32 Speaker 3

because if i pull them right we could both drown so you were getting

0:30:36 Speaker 4

yeah they shoot me you guys can go down the slide

0:30:40 Speaker 3

if i'm hands if i'm hands they shoot at my ass and i think it's good for everybody because it's definitely teaching us all lessons

0:30:48 Speaker 5

yes yeah i think there was a lot of things they could have done between uh the first time this happened and getting guns and shooting

0:30:54 Speaker 3

anyway i love a flow state i know

0:30:55 Speaker 1

exactly what you're talking about 100 % that's my man trying to relate to me in the deepest most passionate love

0:31:03 Speaker 4

no we're not trying to bring

0:31:05 Speaker 1

you down i mean like this week we we really put her on the hot seat we all had a group dinner with her to make sure she wasn't here to get secrets and it's wait what when did you guys do that

0:31:14 Speaker 4

you were there

0:31:15 Speaker 3

you were there you were sitting at the head of the table real real tall you were sitting up tall

0:31:20 Speaker 1

which day was it uh

0:31:22 Speaker 3

sunday

0:31:23 Speaker 1

or

0:31:24 Speaker 3

sunday it was like

0:31:26 Speaker 1

sundown sundown on

0:31:27 Speaker 3

wednesday the owl had just screamed the owl had just screamed the rooster the rooster had just gotten an uber to go to the bar

0:31:35 Speaker 5

really yeah oh that's weird because

0:31:38 Speaker 3

i'm

0:31:38 Speaker 1

so sorry

0:31:39 Speaker 3

was wednesday night what's wrong with your memory you were there

0:31:42 Speaker 1

i was complimenting you on your complexion well no the whole night you ordered chicken no seasoning rice nothing on it all white and smooth

0:31:52 Speaker 3

that's how i ordered it yeah boiled chicken boiled

0:31:55 Speaker 0

rice

0:31:55 Speaker 0

flavor no seasoning put it on my face

0:31:55 Speaker 1

no

0:31:58 Speaker 3

huh yeah what we were like okay i mean like you must be going through something

0:32:03 Speaker 5

you guys must got the day the day wrong because wednesday night was that day that i told you guys about how uh the kids who run that little uh club with that all the kids they're like they call it a secret society

0:32:14 Speaker 6

yeah uh they needed a facilitator and so i went out there wednesday night to the the little uh their little meeting

0:32:20 Speaker 1

which that's nice of you to

0:32:21 Speaker 5

give them extracurricular stuff to do yeah you need a facilitator yeah it was freaky though it was pretty pretty spooky they they

0:32:28 Speaker 1

you know kids

0:32:29 Speaker 5

they like goth music my chemical romance stuff like that yeah no this one this felt a little bit more ritualistic uh

0:32:36 Speaker 3

string you up or something not string me up they sort of sat me in the middle of a circle sat at the five points of a pentagram uh they string you down to the

0:32:42 Speaker 5

ground they string me down string yeah they

0:32:45 Speaker 3

tied me down to the ground a pentagram yeah oh i guess it wasn't a pentagram because it was only three it was only three kids are you telling me these kids are

0:32:52 Speaker 5

devilistic it's

0:32:53 Speaker 1

philippi's son the devilistic

0:32:56 Speaker 5

these no these kids aren't devilistic

0:32:57 Speaker 1

they were just hanging out and asking me questions they

0:33:00 Speaker 5

uh

0:33:01 Speaker 1

philippi's son

0:33:02 Speaker 5

they asked me uh all sorts of questions if i'd ever seen uh the beyond they uh whoa

0:33:08 Speaker 1

yeah it

0:33:09 Speaker 6

that i was a little freaked out about but then we sort of did that for about 15 -20 minutes and then um

0:33:09 Speaker 0

was all these

0:33:09 Speaker 1

questions

0:33:16 Speaker 5

i kind of i guess fell asleep and then they i woke back up and they were gone and so i've made my way back to the apartment

0:33:22 Speaker 1

making my way downtown oh

0:33:25 Speaker 5

michelle

0:33:26 Speaker 1

branch's son is one of them it was philippi branch and one other kid i don't know who's parent

0:33:33 Speaker 4

lauren michaels lauren michaels lauren michaels is lauren michaels daughter that's right lauren michaels i think you were involved in some sort of devil thing

0:33:43 Speaker 5

there's no and

0:33:44 Speaker 4

we were at dinner with a man no that's what people need to think a lot of people think these kids rich kids rich people are part of the illuminati

0:33:52 Speaker 0

or some kind of secret society they're commuting with satan

0:33:55 Speaker 5

they think that these kids are commuting with the devil to get big boons where

0:34:06 Speaker 1

they'll be rich forever if they sacrifice the life of a virgin or whatever that's not what is happening

0:34:11 Speaker 5

and it's so hard to find a virgin these days exactly and of course we all know that i have at one time in my life had sex so if they thought what they were doing was sacrificing some kind of virgin then it's just not going to

0:34:24 Speaker 3

work everybody knows that all these high society people know all the real truths of the world so i wouldn't be surprised if you were getting ritualistically sacrificed to create some sort of magical energy that is

0:34:35 Speaker 5

known about but well

0:34:38 Speaker 4

howard you are just the the most ripe sacrifice if you're trying to get to bl's a

0:34:51 Speaker 3

you know what i think that actually says something about howard too i know that you feel a lot of times like tossed out or like you know people are picking on you or whatever

0:34:59 Speaker 6

i think it's because you're such a valuable sacrifice

0:35:03 Speaker 3

we know that if you get rid of howard that's a big blow

0:35:07 Speaker 4

there's always been devil worshippers on your tail

0:35:07 Speaker 6

but

0:35:11 Speaker 3

like and that's another reason why we think you're a virgin it's like sure of course like

0:35:17 Speaker 6

no riz no game has never fucked but it's it's a lot of us

0:35:25 Speaker 0

you know actively avoiding being tailed by people in red suits with pitchforks

0:35:33 Speaker 4

they really dress up for it they

0:35:36 Speaker 6

look like him

0:35:37 Speaker 3

i thought you were trying to conjure him not be him hey you look

0:35:41 Speaker 4

like him

0:35:43 Speaker 3

you look just like him yeah i feel like he doesn't want people to be exactly in his image because that's like kind of his shtick like don't you think he'd change his style if everybody was just aping it when he gets

0:35:53 Speaker 4

there you're gonna have to immediately look worse than him

0:35:57 Speaker 1

he's gonna look like the actual thing and you're a bad knockoff if you just be a fan just be a fan i said did you see that interview where the devil was like don't come up to me if you see me

0:36:09 Speaker 4

right

0:36:09 Speaker 6

i'm the devil but when i'm walking down the

0:36:12 Speaker 3

street i'm off i'm at work i'm at work yeah

0:36:15 Speaker 1

the devil is a project that is my

0:36:18 Speaker 4

job don't call me the fallen one yeah

0:36:20 Speaker 1

that's for my friend you think if you just saw the most beautiful angel in the street you think you could go up to him and ask for a picture or something like that

0:36:30 Speaker 4

yeah but i know but it's like i mean i if i see him i want to go up to him it's like i'm inspired by you know what a piece of shit he is and all the art he

0:36:39 Speaker 3

puts out and bad stuff he does i'm like

0:36:41 Speaker 4

i like feeling not alone as an evil man

0:36:45 Speaker 3

i have to respect anyone on either end of the extreme spectrum you know

0:36:49 Speaker 4

what i mean because at least they're going for it at least they're going for it and nobody agrees with them that's a hard place to be to have no friends and nobody wants to listen to you and you and you sound crazy

0:36:58 Speaker 6

right so

0:36:59 Speaker 5

you well look i don't want to point fingers i don't want to i

0:37:08 Speaker 3

don't want to sort of claim to your throat there

0:37:13 Speaker 5

i don't know

0:37:14 Speaker 4

again there we go there you go that's the devil that could be the devil always

0:37:14 Speaker 4

i

0:37:14 Speaker 5

can't do it

0:37:20 Speaker 5

you know i i i hate to point fingers i hate to think i hate to sort of commit to the stereotype of rich kids being uh sort of of these types of sort of evil

0:37:31 Speaker 0

creatures uh

0:37:32 Speaker 6

so i refuse to believe it because if y 'all think that's what what's happening is they have sort of communed with these fucking mannequins to to to create a new version of me and they're going to sacrifice me and then

0:37:45 Speaker 5

there's just going to be a mannequin version of me living my life that's that is far fetched even for us

0:37:50 Speaker 3

i'll tell you what howard when we were grilling his girlfriend the other night you were putting the pressure on like nobody's business

0:37:57 Speaker 4

staring at her ass and she got so scared that she finally told us the truth mannequin you is so uh uh just has a an importance about that

0:38:09 Speaker 3

totally

0:38:10 Speaker 4

okay well i got that low -cut spaghetti strap really shows off the musculature which is intimidating

0:38:16 Speaker 1

really yeah i'm glad it's in season and i love to see it on you and it made me want to buy it when i saw it

0:38:21 Speaker 3

yeah

0:38:22 Speaker 1

what do you i

0:38:24 Speaker 3

are we still going to macy's today at four

0:38:25 Speaker 1

yeah

0:38:26 Speaker 3

absolutely okay as soon as the bell ring macy's after we saw what

0:38:30 Speaker 4

harard was wearing we're driving straight to macy's oh yeah that's another thing we need to give macy's a break during thanksgiving we have

0:38:37 Speaker 5

we are over

0:38:38 Speaker 5

corner well they're doing that i want to quickly call back they're doing the parade

0:38:38 Speaker 3

back in the

0:38:44 Speaker 4

of macy's one hour y 'all can close the kitchen corner up if you want but i'm in it i'm always in it we got to give macy's a break um

0:38:44 Speaker 3

speaking

0:38:51 Speaker 1

howard

0:38:52 Speaker 4

i

0:38:52 Speaker 1

uh how do i say this hate you

0:38:56 Speaker 3

this will be really good

0:38:58 Speaker 6

no when

0:38:58 Speaker 1

when he figures out his words it's

0:39:00 Speaker 1

really

0:39:00 Speaker 3

usually

0:39:01 Speaker 3

good all right so this either you're just gonna give

0:39:05 Speaker 1

me five ten minutes i no think good thing happened here

0:39:11 Speaker 3

whoa okay uh no

0:39:13 Speaker 5

that's a play right i'm a little free words yeah i'll take i'll take the sentiment i understand what you mean and i'll i you know i am a little freaked but you know this isn't a problem that i this isn't a problem bigger than something that i haven't handled before so if there's a mannequin me out there living my life while these kids are trying to figure out a way to sacrifice me to be alzibub be

0:39:32 Speaker 1

alzibub

0:39:34 Speaker 5

be alzibub be alzibub

0:39:35 Speaker 1

then i'm not gonna let it happen chuck chuck a cheese's brother be

0:39:38 Speaker 5

alzibub yeah this ain't my first rodeo okay i've i've had people coming after me for a long time i

0:39:43 Speaker 1

know i've i've been the victim of some pretty

0:39:45 Speaker 0

serious heinous crimes and i'm not gonna let it happen again so if this mannequin is gonna try to sort of take over my life uh i would ask you guys uh to to maybe we have a safe word from now on

0:39:57 Speaker 6

when you see me

0:39:58 Speaker 5

the first thing you say to me is like a certain question or a phrase and then if i respond

0:40:05 Speaker 4

with the actual phrase then you know it's me if i if i don't know the phrase

0:40:09 Speaker 5

then it's not me so we like it's like a safe word like when me and mr mr strina used to play we had a safe word uh

0:40:16 Speaker 0

and so maybe

0:40:18 Speaker 4

we have a safe word also now it's old storylines oh that's that's the deepest it's gonna go but okay but maybe this is a

0:40:24 Speaker 3

good way for us to handle do you have a safety word in mind um my mind is plum out

0:40:29 Speaker 1

but i would love a question like um

0:40:32 Speaker 3

plum out uh i hate plum out yeah like do you have any

0:40:36 Speaker 5

out plum out

0:40:36 Speaker 1

plum

0:40:37 Speaker 1

do you have any

0:40:38 Speaker 5

plum

0:40:39 Speaker 3

out is that something only you could know

0:40:40 Speaker 1

yes right from now on the first thing y 'all say to me when you see me is do you have any and if i do

0:40:45 Speaker 3

not say plum out then that is a mannequin version of me trying to live my life that is really good good yeah

0:40:52 Speaker 5

do

0:40:53 Speaker 5

plum out

0:40:53 Speaker 3

you have any

0:40:54 Speaker 3

it's you it's it's you it's howard he hasn't been sacrificed

0:40:57 Speaker 5

yet i just did think about though if if for example right now i was this mannequin version of me we

0:41:03 Speaker 3

just talk now

0:41:05 Speaker 6

the mannequin knows that plum out is the

0:41:07 Speaker 4

phrase and maybe it's actually that well what me is somewhere in the during the break let's order some food what do you want to eat let's see if it's mannequin okay

0:41:17 Speaker 5

if you do if you order like

0:41:18 Speaker 4

man see that's really unfair because i do love unseasoned chicken damn sure

0:41:23 Speaker 3

what i'm second

0:41:25 Speaker 4

guessing

0:41:25 Speaker 1

is

0:41:26 Speaker 5

what if we walk

0:41:26 Speaker 1

up to a

0:41:27 Speaker 5

mannequin and say do you have any more and they realize that they're wearing the last floor model and they're plum out yeah hey do you have any more of those t -shirts in the back plum out these are these are very small statistical probabilities here i think we're going to be fine

0:41:43 Speaker 0

now part of solving a problem is being aware of the problem and now that we know that there's potentially a mannequin version of me roaming around campus then that's a problem that we can address head -on and from now on the first as long as you guys know the first thing you say to me when you see me

0:41:57 Speaker 5

do you have any you have any and i will let you know that i am plum out

0:42:00 Speaker 3

perfect

0:42:01 Speaker 5

that's a this is iron

0:42:02 Speaker 1

it

0:42:02 Speaker 3

cloud

0:42:03 Speaker 3

is it seems like a foolproof system

0:42:04 Speaker 5

okay

0:42:06 Speaker 1

i am starving me too

0:42:09 Speaker 3

let's order what do you guys think a little panera

0:42:12 Speaker 4

are we gonna spend are we gonna do something that fancy do you want to go that fancy i don't know that i have panera

0:42:19 Speaker 1

money

0:42:20 Speaker 3

it's just right right what do we think and then um taco bell

0:42:24 Speaker 1

i just don't want to go extravagant today

0:42:27 Speaker 3

yeah right right to gym boys those greasy or cheaper tacos gym boys gym boys

0:42:33 Speaker 4

what about bowling alley uh fried cheese fries cheese fries now that's cheap

0:42:40 Speaker 1

i'll have to move some money

0:42:42 Speaker 4

around but yeah we can do that all right let's go to the bowling alley

0:42:45 Speaker 3

but hey hey can we not bowl this time

0:42:50 Speaker 4

i just want to eat i i'm so tired of saying yes to lunch we always become an alcoholic we always get roped into bowling so

0:42:59 Speaker 3

let's

0:42:59 Speaker 0

not do that let's make sure we don't do that

0:43:01 Speaker 3

okay that sounds good okay meet you out there bring these shoes just in case yeah give me that ball stay flippy

0:43:08 Speaker 1

okay a little editor's note here on our way to the bolero we found

0:43:13 Speaker 5

out todd use your regular voice

0:43:16 Speaker 1

this is what you do in podcasts when something special is happening

0:43:20 Speaker 5

okay sorry sorry i didn't mean to interrupt you

0:43:24 Speaker 1

on the way to the bolero we found out that we actually had a mandatory etiquette class parents weekend is next weekend and we have to be trained in etiquette for being around the rich parents

0:43:38 Speaker 2

and just a heads up i was a little late to the etiquette class so in the beginning i won't be there little heads up for you all

0:43:48 Speaker 1

this is sam speaking i was late to the etiquette class you know we can tell from your voice okay yours too tob

0:43:54 Speaker 2

i'm there as myself i'm also there all four of us are there and now we cut to the etiquette class

0:44:10 Speaker 1

uh so hungry

0:44:11 Speaker 4

was so i was starved i my mouth was water i was gonna eat a handful of jalapeno

0:44:11 Speaker 2

i

0:44:16 Speaker 5

nacho jalapenos i can't

0:44:17 Speaker 4

believe you have to wear these tuxedos

0:44:20 Speaker 1

ridiculous

0:44:20 Speaker 5

also this water is disgusting

0:44:22 Speaker 1

so gross

0:44:24 Speaker 5

sparkling water what the

0:44:25 Speaker 1

hell god i hate it i sneezed in the woman's face when she hit it

0:44:31 Speaker 5

because the bubbles

0:44:32 Speaker 4

and then

0:44:33 Speaker 1

that happens to me when i take a sip of sparkling water it tickles

0:44:36 Speaker 3

my nose and i sneeze gentlemen gentlemen

0:44:37 Speaker 4

only do you have anything less than tap

0:44:39 Speaker 5

sorry

0:44:40 Speaker 3

gentlemen i've walked into the room and said gentlemen let's please listen thank you so much um you're here because the school has mandated etiquette rules

0:44:49 Speaker 0

now as you can see it's only the men that are here because the women seem to get it okay

0:44:54 Speaker 3

so we're gonna work on

0:44:56 Speaker 4

your bullshit and

0:44:58 Speaker 3

i'm i was prepared for that i'm used to that kind of response uh listen we have some very fancy parents at this school and parent teacher week is coming up and they have some expectations and you guys are the newest people at our school and i'm not sure you know how to fit in so

0:45:17 Speaker 0

we're just gonna go over some stuff some expectations how to be how to talk how to walk how to sit regular uh

0:45:25 Speaker 3

yeah

0:45:26 Speaker 4

okay this will be quick all right i'm just what can we like i just have so much shame because i don't know where the fork goes i don't know what's the salad fork i don't know what any of that stuff is and i feel you know like trash because of it so i just wanted to start out saying i'm i i am ready to learn

0:45:51 Speaker 3

you know i actually really appreciate that that's a great attitude to start this class with thank you

0:45:55 Speaker 1

you're welcome also ready to learn i have a lot of questions about what the fork is used for in the meal why do we have a fork a spoon and a knife i can do it all with one i promise you that i promise you that

0:46:10 Speaker 3

why did you come in so sloppy and you're just getting your clothes together right now

0:46:13 Speaker 1

yeah

0:46:14 Speaker 3

you came in with a fully open tuxedo and you're you're finishing getting dressed at the beginning of class

0:46:19 Speaker 1

would you rather me not get

0:46:21 Speaker 3

dressed i don't know how to answer the question the email was skipped

0:46:26 Speaker 6

by me

0:46:28 Speaker 1

he skipped the email i saw my compadres in their tuxedos and i said i don't have one but i can button up my white shirt and turn a napkin into

0:46:38 Speaker 4

a bow tie sir can we ask you real quick

0:46:40 Speaker 1

why you are qualified to teach us etiquette like you don't you know are you fancy have you been doing etiquette your whole life were

0:46:50 Speaker 3

you well into etiquette i studied at the meriwether school in london

0:46:53 Speaker 4

i just

0:46:53 Speaker 5

want to tell you i'm not going to be a problem it is a problem to speak in the middle of other people's sentences okay i just want you to know these guys are tough i'm pretty soft

0:47:03 Speaker 3

i'm pretty nice and soft so these two they're going to be a problem i'm going to be a good student i'm sorry for interrupting you but i felt like you were lumping me in with these two and i promise you i'm not going to be like why don't we start with our first lesson of the day no throwing other employees under the bus

0:47:19 Speaker 5

one of the worst

0:47:20 Speaker 1

that all the time all the time

0:47:23 Speaker 5

that's not a great lesson for him i wouldn't say it's throwing people under the bus i'd say it's acknowledging reality

0:47:28 Speaker 1

his name is howard levis and he always throws people under the

0:47:31 Speaker 5

bus his name is todd padre and he smells like a bus okay so

0:47:35 Speaker 3

right now oh i won't have it i won't have it right now i

0:47:39 Speaker 5

won't have it right now we're doing the exact that's phil cravey and he never defends anyone but other than

0:47:45 Speaker 3

himself right now we're doing the exact thing you were

0:47:47 Speaker 4

asked to do i'm saying the truth and that's etiquette i'm saying i'm

0:47:52 Speaker 3

admitting gentlemen please sorry what is the meriwether school of etiquette why are you so fancy how because you're learning to be a fine gentleman you're learning what's expected in the upper crust of society i don't know where you guys are from but take that scarf off

0:48:09 Speaker 4

take that scarf off and those riding glasses and gloves

0:48:13 Speaker 3

they're from

0:48:14 Speaker 5

listen you're

0:48:15 Speaker 3

riding you have a

0:48:16 Speaker 4

fight with you guys we're here to take a class

0:48:18 Speaker 5

sorry we're being we came in hot sorry it's okay i'm not crust i was told there'd be pizza

0:48:25 Speaker 3

gentlemen it feels like you are delighting and not following directions it really feels like you're delighting in not making this happen

0:48:33 Speaker 1

okay all right since you're so leadership why don't you lead this etiquette class and i'm just gonna go

0:48:41 Speaker 4

toga style

0:48:41 Speaker 3

because i cannot get it around my body he's gonna wear it like a sash i don't care about your tuxedo right now i just

0:48:54 Speaker 5

want to get through a lesson okay fantastic so we're not gonna throw each other under the bus

0:49:00 Speaker 0

i appreciate all the listening that's been happening since that moment thank you i really feel like i have your attention and that makes me feel seen it makes me feel respected do you guys feel respected by how i'm talking to you

0:49:11 Speaker 3

yes

0:49:12 Speaker 5

i guess i'll say i never realized how much i like it when someone nods as they're speaking to me it does feel like they're sort of it's a way of engaging so

0:49:19 Speaker 3

yes well i would like can i start by showing you my handshake

0:49:24 Speaker 1

good luck buddy

0:49:25 Speaker 3

we were gonna get to that later we want to make sure that we're doing professional greetings but yes i'd love to shake

0:49:31 Speaker 1

hand

0:49:31 Speaker 4

okay well i do usually do a greeting of hello nice to meet you

0:49:31 Speaker 4

your

0:49:37 Speaker 3

that's actually very that's a lie and then do the real one bill okay again

0:49:41 Speaker 3

each other

0:49:41 Speaker 4

we're throwing

0:49:42 Speaker 4

that's a very good i'm gonna i'm gonna start well well well

0:49:46 Speaker 3

no don't do well well

0:49:48 Speaker 4

okay i wouldn't go cartoonish on this greeting okay okay

0:49:51 Speaker 3

why don't we do a handshake and say hello

0:49:54 Speaker 4

okay i want you to know to be that i hate strong really hard handshakes so i've gone the other way okay okay so i'm gonna cut the well well well okay i'm gonna say like hello my name's bill cravey offer my hand perfect good

0:50:10 Speaker 3

okay shake and here we go okay squeeze back though you gotta squeeze back just a little bit you made it limper okay

0:50:21 Speaker 5

that was unhelpful that was see that good job bill that felt good gentlemen you try you tried you're

0:50:28 Speaker 3

doing there are stakes to this there are stakes

0:50:30 Speaker 5

gentlemen if we embarrass

0:50:32 Speaker 4

steaks uppercut i thought it was uppercut i ordered the chicken

0:50:35 Speaker 5

actually i ordered the chicken

0:50:37 Speaker 3

where's the crust you guys how do you guys get through life you have this isn't even a fun thing to be rude at that you will get this class you could be done with in 30 minutes and beyond with the rest of the day looks like you're choking yourself with that napkin sir oh he's stuffing

0:50:54 Speaker 1

napkin in no i'm a 15 neck i'm a 15 neck

0:50:54 Speaker 4

the

0:50:58 Speaker 3

no one is doing your measurements except your triple digits neck

0:51:03 Speaker 1

there's no point in lying to yourself about your measurements

0:51:07 Speaker 4

how does he have he's got a 120 inch neck it's crazy

0:51:12 Speaker 3

it is crazy because the body is so thin and then it looks like todd swallowed a

0:51:18 Speaker 4

giant wreck

0:51:19 Speaker 5

mr

0:51:20 Speaker 4

fancy's biting over here he's making fun of you

0:51:23 Speaker 5

yeah todd

0:51:24 Speaker 4

i've always said that todd's body is kind of shaped like a big gulp cup

0:51:30 Speaker 5

it gets really

0:51:31 Speaker 1

it's bigger way bigger on top than it is on the bottom you guys are all very lucky i got stuck under a bus this morning and i'm not feeling like fighting you because if i didn't i would fight the hell out of you

0:51:42 Speaker 3

well and i appreciate the restraint this is a big thing there is no fighting on our campus or just off of our campus you're not allowed to be just on the other side of the campus limit line

0:51:56 Speaker 0

and fight when these parents come a lot of these parents are benefactors they're donors right we

0:52:02 Speaker 5

cannot risk yeah everything that they give to the school i get it yeah i actually come from money i don't know if you know that about me so i i understand the the way that these people probably approach the world and that's why again i try to be as cool and and

0:52:15 Speaker 4

calm and kind as i can introduce yourself

0:52:18 Speaker 5

okay well uh hey there

0:52:20 Speaker 3

how are you sure hi how are you my name is howard levis great to meet you let me give you a little handshake

0:52:20 Speaker 4

hey there buddy

0:52:27 Speaker 5

hey how are you nice to meet you ow

0:52:29 Speaker 3

you're doing what he oh one of those buzzers

0:52:33 Speaker 4

it didn't even go off it just poked a cheap joke shop buzzer you got got buddy where's the crust

0:52:40 Speaker 3

this it's funny it's funny you know i'm trying to ask you a question okay how do you plan to deal with these parents when they come to talk to you about their classes and their kids in their classes some of these parents and i'm not kidding are trillionaires what

0:52:40 Speaker 5

what is

0:52:55 Speaker 4

i didn't know we had

0:52:56 Speaker 1

really ours

0:52:56 Speaker 3

wow trills

0:52:58 Speaker 1

i knew we were chameleonaires but

0:53:00 Speaker 3

trillionaires yes he and his child both go here

0:53:03 Speaker 1

he is often riding

0:53:06 Speaker 3

dirty i was

0:53:06 Speaker 5

gonna ask i was gonna make sure that he was riding dirty all right well let's say that you are um uh beth wilson one of the uh highest society moms

0:53:15 Speaker 3

okay yes this is an improv a theater exercise i'm gonna try and you tell me what i do wrong is this a little role play i love

0:53:21 Speaker 1

this absolutely okay hey beth how you doing

0:53:24 Speaker 3

hi i'm good

0:53:25 Speaker 1

how are you slow too slow wow i actually respected that oh yeah

0:53:29 Speaker 3

just kidding i was acting that was horrible you cannot do that to a teacher or to a parent you cannot do that to a parent

0:53:38 Speaker 4

especially a woman i don't know why it's different but it is you cannot

0:53:41 Speaker 5

so there are

0:53:42 Speaker 4

especially certain

0:53:43 Speaker 5

groups well how about what if you do this

0:53:45 Speaker 3

yes yes everybody knows that can we

0:53:48 Speaker 5

do that you have to be nicer to women than men we all societally agree groups can i can we do another another role play

0:53:56 Speaker 3

i think i know what todd did wrong can i

0:53:58 Speaker 6

do one

0:53:58 Speaker 3

isn't there ow

0:53:59 Speaker 4

ow ow i haven't touched you yet

0:54:01 Speaker 3

you guys are clearly very used to faking lawsuits that's something

0:54:06 Speaker 5

that we're not going to be doing well the lawsuits aren't

0:54:08 Speaker 4

fake buddy

0:54:09 Speaker 3

we just

0:54:10 Speaker 5

what did you almost call me

0:54:12 Speaker 4

he wanted to

0:54:13 Speaker 3

but he backed off is that etiquette that i did appreciate now keep here's here let's start here do that but keep going in that direction about a hundred points

0:54:23 Speaker 5

okay into

0:54:24 Speaker 3

respect i'll do i'll pretend you're beth wilson one of the parents here and we'll do another introduction i'm i'm i guys casing beth

0:54:30 Speaker 5

wilson or something why are we both i don't want to give you a whole other character yeah i don't want to give you a whole other character it feels like a lot

0:54:35 Speaker 3

for you yeah so

0:54:37 Speaker 4

or hear him yeah so it'll be like oh hi uh yeah hi uh hi beth i'm howard levis it looks like you got something on your shirt there oh um too slow slap you in the

0:54:47 Speaker 3

nose that's

0:54:48 Speaker 4

slap

0:54:48 Speaker 5

bam

0:54:49 Speaker 6

me in

0:54:49 Speaker 4

the

0:54:49 Speaker 3

nose again you right up in the nose you're not even allowed to slap any of the men but you definitely cannot slap the women i'm sorry that

0:54:56 Speaker 4

is i didn't slap i meant tap with my finger okay

0:54:59 Speaker 3

i

0:55:00 Speaker 5

still think you don't want to goof a woman right when you meet her i just am not sure

0:55:04 Speaker 4

that they're gonna slap her the nose with your

0:55:06 Speaker 3

finger i already said no to that

0:55:08 Speaker 4

that was the

0:55:09 Speaker 3

first thing

0:55:10 Speaker 4

we

0:55:10 Speaker 4

no to all right hey beth bill crazy could you run and close the door for me real quick she turns around

0:55:10 Speaker 3

said

0:55:15 Speaker 1

i strip her like with when i when you throw one leg behind the other she farts i say tornoff and i punch her there what is wrong with you three

0:55:26 Speaker 4

we're

0:55:27 Speaker 1

angry

0:55:27 Speaker 4

we're just angry

0:55:29 Speaker 1

we're not ourselves we're hangy so you have a snickers

0:55:33 Speaker 4

we're angry you have to let shows out we're hanging

0:55:38 Speaker 1

where is upper crust where's the guy

0:55:42 Speaker 3

why don't we do this we thought there was

0:55:44 Speaker 1

food you guys

0:55:45 Speaker 4

you guys go to lunch you relax and then i all i need is you just to fill out no

0:55:51 Speaker 3

fill

0:55:52 Speaker 4

no no actually no

0:55:54 Speaker 3

i just need you hi bill craving oh just look i

0:55:59 Speaker 4

just need you to sign the pdf that you were here that's it i need you to sign the pdf we just deleted docusign yeah

0:56:05 Speaker 6

how did you delete it it's a gmail feature we

0:56:10 Speaker 3

didn't

0:56:10 Speaker 4

want what are your emails by the way what are your emails i don't get all at no .com so

0:56:17 Speaker 3

you own no .com yeah i

0:56:20 Speaker 4

got it day one of internet

0:56:22 Speaker 6

because

0:56:23 Speaker 4

i kept saying that when people were like do you want the internet and i said no .com so you were funny very early i was very funny very

0:56:33 Speaker 3

early on the internet

0:56:34 Speaker 4

not on it actually but

0:56:37 Speaker 5

about it yeah we do need this class we have to we have to know something it is i'm sorry

0:56:43 Speaker 4

i get carried away sometimes joking around when these guys joke we're getting carried away and we're hangry

0:56:47 Speaker 5

yeah that's okay what are you guys gonna go grab for lunch something good

0:56:49 Speaker 3

we were going to the bowling alley to get uh oh cheese fries the bowling you know the bowling alley part was condemned the only thing

0:56:57 Speaker 4

yeah the bowling alley was as soon as it was condemned they started serving food and that's

0:57:03 Speaker 1

we wait for the we wait for the condemn rating get the food from there the condemnation i also say i think it only got condemned because the health inspector kept getting gutter balls so he thought bowling was unfair

0:57:20 Speaker 4

every every sport has been like the bar has been condemned out at the at the the batting cages

0:57:30 Speaker 1

condemned field has condemned golf course condemned

0:57:35 Speaker 3

he's just bad at sports and he's mad that's too bad our town sucks

0:57:39 Speaker 4

our town sucks listen i'm tired

0:57:43 Speaker 1

are you angry i'm hangry i'm tired of this so then you get it cover

0:57:47 Speaker 3

okay todd it's time to learn etiquette from the king

0:57:51 Speaker 1

todd etiquette hadre let me show you how it's done

0:57:56 Speaker 3

how do you get so into your own bullshit so quickly

0:57:58 Speaker 1

what do you mean into my bullshit this is just who i am i'm doing the thing i'm most of the class man i can't breathe right now because of my style but i look good let's talk etiquette of style yeah okay slim is in for clothes slim fits the buttons

0:58:18 Speaker 4

just barely connect as you put them in and then when you sit down everything splays wide open but no one knows you're big because you're wearing slim clothes yes pack yourself into anything

0:58:29 Speaker 1

it slims you high waist tiny belt the tiny belt helps separate the tummy as it goes down

0:58:37 Speaker 3

two sections of as it goes down this is not

0:58:39 Speaker 4

the class i teach at all this is just fashion

0:58:43 Speaker 3

talk

0:58:43 Speaker 4

just read the pamphlet he's teaching out of which you should have a book that's pretty sad it's a triple

0:58:51 Speaker 1

folded what's the matter can't find someone to bind it don't talk to any parents like

0:58:57 Speaker 4

having trouble

0:58:58 Speaker 3

binding hi bill

0:59:00 Speaker 4

craven

0:59:00 Speaker 1

what is wrong with you guys in real life i

0:59:03 Speaker 3

didn't

0:59:03 Speaker 4

touch you i didn't touch you i i'm now wearing a body cam because i don't trust you i'm gonna exit the room and goodbye good luck we switched the exit with the entrance you're coming right

0:59:18 Speaker 6

back

0:59:19 Speaker 3

and you're right back in here

0:59:21 Speaker 4

look you walk right back in

0:59:24 Speaker 3

hey what's up guys what did i miss

0:59:27 Speaker 3

sam you know me

0:59:27 Speaker 6

uh

0:59:32 Speaker 6

baby it's like coming back to cheers when i see

0:59:35 Speaker 4

my we lost you on the walk from the bowling alley oh god did you hear the bowling alley and the cafe are condemned

0:59:42 Speaker 1

yes we heard about no the cafe no more food

0:59:45 Speaker 3

what

0:59:46 Speaker 1

no more food they must be throwing it out then

0:59:49 Speaker 3

well yeah

0:59:50 Speaker 1

is the dumpster being condemned the dumpster is actually a new pop -up oh good as soon as they pop up the lid they're selling oh it's a dumpster pop -up it's mr bin right mr bin is doing another trash pop -up well it's mr bean

1:00:03 Speaker 3

it's a

1:00:04 Speaker 1

mexican

1:00:04 Speaker 3

place say flippy

1:00:10 Speaker 6

stay flippy!