Energy Healer Shop

Exit 42 caters to cow poeks from all walks of life. From Sagernaut County to New York City, There's a shop for everyone, including this 1 right here.

Hi. Come on in right through the beads. Right through the beads is fine. Oh, wow. You can enter right through the beads. Oh, wow.

Are these are these are hi. Are these beads supposed to be hung up on strings or are they just kind of laid loosely on the threshold? Loosely on the threshold, they are supposed to be

on strings, but they kept getting caught. On my long earrings. And so I'd be maybe in a rush out of work at the end of the day. And my little dreamcatcher earring would get caught right on the beat on the way out. Mhmm. It's another in the doorstep.

Yeah. You're you're You have you have cauliflower low ear.

we just got into her store.

Yes.

Honey,

Okay? I'm sorry. Very I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm a I'm a doctor. I'm a doctor. So I, you know, IIII noticed you know, I'm always looking for ailments to diagnose. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

That's very western medicine of you. I'm very eastern where you know you you figure out the problem holistically and you treat the whole person you don't try to diagnose anybody. Nobody is you know

they don't diagnose people

at Eastern Not the people I see. No. You don't diagnose people. Because diagnosis means You see?

You practice?

Yes you could I do energy healing and I do a lack of energy healing whichever you prefer. I can do it with energy.

Does it

depend on whether you've eaten in the morning?

Well, the time of your employment really affects it. And let's just say, don't do an energy healing before I've had my coffee. Yeah. So come on in

thanks for having me here. Yeah. You do drink coffee.

Well, I drink mushrooms and I drink hot mushrooms coffee. And this so this is all a shop that is all the little knickknacks I found patty wax, dog bones. Wow. Anything you want we have here and, you know, a lot. You look like I saw a California license

plate. Is that what that was? Yes. Yes. We're we're coming from California. We're just

kinda going

around, seeing the country.

Fantastic. A doctor and and you?

House wife. House

wife.

Okay. Great. Yeah. Well, you know, that's a job in and of itself. Isn't it? Isn't it? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. It is. Yeah.

Well, come on in and anything you like here. If you want it, You just give me the money that it costs, so then you get to take it out.

Yeah. No. We don't know how stores work. We yeah. You don't have to explain the con. Except for buying things. We got it. We got it. Okay.

Just making sure I don't want anyone to feel uncomfortable with the system here.

Hi. I'm here for my 04:00 healing. Hi. Welcome

back. Oh,

they're doing right you're doing right here in the store.

Oh,

i thought this table was maybe for sale in the middle of the room.

You could buy it. It would make my healing a little harder but I everything everything has a price.

Are you with someone I can wait out No. Come on. No. Please please. This is cactus. Oh, hello. Hi. I'm cactus. I'm from here. I'm here from here. Hi. I'm from here. Hi. Hi, guys. Good to see you.

We're from Northern. Yeah. Yeah. We're from Oh, that's amazing.

I'm from here. Yeah. Now So good to meet you. This.

Yes. Does your name have anything to do with your

color.

Well,

that

sounds

-- No. -- sounds like a diagnosis, cactus. Exactly. You don't have to accept that

was not. Well, I'm not. I mean, he just looks sick. Honey, take

a break. Take a break. You look you look like you currently don't you're not getting

no oxygen. III am green. Other doctors I've seen have said it's a dietary issue. I've said I don't believe you. My name actually doesn't come from the color. When I was a kid, I was not this color. It does, though, come from the excess skin tags around my body that the doctor, when I was born Yeah. Spicy

moles. Yes. Yes. Spike those

are spiky green Sounds like a diagnosis again, which we do not do here.

And I, of course, ran away from my family because they they took that diagnosis to heart so seriously that they decided to name me cactus, which

-- Mhmm.

-- which I ran out when I was 13 years and I've been living here ever since I was 13. So because I'm from

oh. Cactus

random are you guys together?

Well, that's a diagnosis

being together, you know.

I don't know.

We we don't like to put names on things because then you live in the box of the names so cactus and I live in separate houses with our 3 sons and What we how does that work?

Well, it's pretty simple. No. There's a tunnel. And so that we live in our yes. We live in our separate houses and then

how far are the houses? Are they they're close. Right? They're close? Well,

but, yeah, by whose definition would we say close? I would to me, they're close because I I actually enjoy a nice evening walk. So We live about 13 miles apart.

I'm sorry? I'm surprised you can fit in the tunnel. You Honey. Huge and pretty stiff.

That's diagnosis.

You're right. Also, the the the tunnel is quite big. Yes. It's big enough to drive a car on. So

it's on.

Yes. It's a

hold on. This sounds like a tube above the ground. Is this a tunnel or 2? Well Well,

we couldn't get the tunnel. Right. We couldn't get zoning by the westernized bureaucracy. To get the tunnel under the ground.

Yes. They say we're on a fault line, and it could cause major issues if we were to have any sort of seismic activity. So -- Right. -- we essentially erected a 13 mile above ground tunnel that sort of lays on top of the desert.

Say tube. You must say tube. Right. I

i do agree with my husband here. It's not tunnel if it's above the ground.

You must say tube or we cannot move on.

i just don't think it's a tube. We stand in solidarity, and you must say tube, or we will leave.

Well,

Here, let's link elbows.

Well And I'm already towards the door. Hang

on. Hang on. Must

see. This is really ruining my energy. You know? I came here to get to get

you know what? I don't know why we're I don't know why we're so staunch on must saying tube,

which We weren't saying backing down. That's the thing is, why are we so staunch on not saying it? It's

but With both all Oh, you're backing down. It's

clear we are all diagnosed with each other. Here. And I think we should just take a break. I, for 1, I'm gonna go look at what is this, lettuce jerky?

Yes. Okay. See, jerky lettuce.

Dry lettuce. And

a lot of people when I bought the the lurk the lurky jettis, which is me speaking,

lurkey jettas.

Well, I misspoke when I bought it and the name kind of stuck. So we call that Lurkey jettas. But when I bought that, A lot of people said well lettuce is mostly water and dirt, he is drying something out. But as you can see there is plenty of lettuce in the sack. Isn't there?

It is how many heads are did you dry out for this 1 bag. That's

a that's 1 farm in the each bag. Wow. Yes. So obviously

and and I

saw

and and I lifted it up and everything inside seemed to turn to dust and go to 1 corner of the bag.

Yes. We over jerky some of them. And there's no way to know. You have to be very delicate with the bags. There's no way to know unless you lift

it up. This is a whole farm's worth that has

now become crumbles in the corner of plastic bag. Well, surely, it it maintains all the, like, nutrients, at least. It's Sure. Take the water out, but it keeps the nutrients and fibers. Surely.

I am afraid I have to disappoint you on that.

Oh, I'm so disappointed. I

well, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but It is mostly

disnutritious to you to eat that.

It will make you sick. And it will make your body old on the inside. Well,

i think I'm gonna pass on the jerky lettuce then or let

now hang on. Yes. Hang now. Hang on. No. Cactus

is coming in with the hard sell.

Hang on. Hang on. What if I told you that the reason I am how I am today is because I ate 2 whole bags of lurking jettas. You

don't eat this whole bag.

I ate you. All bad. I would

respect them. There's 2 farms. As a man who got his medical license in Cuba, I would say that it was a very quick getting up the license and driving around some old fifties cars. And I would say that the lettuce the jerky lettuce is making you sick and turning green, and it's making you sick on the inside, which is what you just said. That sounds like a diagnosis.

Thank you, cactus. That's exactly right. Now cactus, have you been eating your beans?

not. Very good. Very

Of course

Mhmm.

good.

well, I prescribe

Can I

clarification again?

I prescribe taxes. Ours together? No. That is a label. Okay.

Yes. No. We're not together. We don't subscribe

to Facebook labels, you know -- Yeah. -- friends, just kidding whatever.

Just kidding. I don't think We were for a while. We were on Facebook, and we were labeled as just kidding.

What about, like, what about your personalities and your style?

Our relationship. It was a just kidding relationship with Facebook added for a short period.

Oh, it was Facebook. They It was usually one-sided.

You you would say like, hey, I wanna date you. And then you would just kidding.

It was an option that your

relationship status got flagged? Yes. Because it was an option that they added because it used to be relate citizenship, dating, it's complicated. Then they added, just kidding. Right. Well

as I heard you guys tweeted a photo the other day, and it got flagged. Correct? Is misinformation?

Well, yes, it was a photo because a lot of people are saying that I gave cactus too many vaccines and I just created a photo of cactus getting their acupuncture vaccine weekly and it said this isn't a problem. And cactus, how much polio have you ever gotten?

More than any human being ever alive. And here's to and here's the other interesting Well, that explains the old wheelchair. Yes. And here's the here's the other interesting thing about that actual acupuncture vaccine. A lot of people said it's impossible to inoculate someone to and medical procedure. And -- Right. -- this acupuncture vaccine let me tell you this, it works. I went to an acupuncturist the other day, and he tried. With all his might to get those needles into my skin. So

you have antibodies for pokes? Yes.

Which again makes Facebook very difficult.

Yes.

Now, I couldn't help but notice that our housewife friend over here is looking at the leather cowboy hats.

I sure am. Now these are heavy. These are really heavy. Yeah.

She's been looking for a nice heavy hat.

Is that the style? Her

hat's her hat gets blown off a lot. Because we're up in Northern California, you know, with their gusts come here and there. They'll whip around the building in San Francisco and knock her hat off. So we are looking for a substantial hat.

Yeah. I was I tried a couple of 10 gallon hats, and those actually flew off really easy. So I'm looking for a 10 pound hat. And and this feels like

about that.

That

is the whole farm of cows right there. Hot hats, hot hat. Hot hats. Hot

hat. It is a hot hat.

It is hot. It's

really heavy. It's hard. Honey be

careful. It's hot. This is beyond.

It's a hot hat. Easy.

Oh.

Yeah. So that's a how on earth Did you dehydrate so much leather to become it became so wasteful and dense? A whole farm's worth? Please tell me it was a small farm, maybe 3, 4 cows. I wish.

You know, if you don't If you wish for things, you can do them that way. You don't have to keep doing the things wrong that you wished happened. You're

very nonjudgmental, but it seems like you know, mistake. And you've had many of them.

Well, you were very observant clearly that is a trait of westernized doctors. I don't observe with my eyes. I observe with my feelings and my feeling here is that there's a little bit of romance between the 4 of us happening. Am I reading that perfectly right?

Well, I mean oh, sorry. Yes. My wife is right. No.

No. Oh, okay. No. Not for me. No. I'm very interested in some of the knick knacks and some of the interesting food. Okay. Have

you seen

like maybe we I thought we maybe we're we interrupted your energy session. Oh. I don't

the fatty whack? I feel

i'm doing both at the same time. Let let me ask another question of you your cactus. So you said you have not been eating your beans?

Of course not.

And how long have your baths been lately?

24 to 36 hours. Okay.

That explains the triples. Cactus. What did we say?

We said at least 48. Yes. So you've been under. I mean, staying

bathtub for 2 full days is a big commitment. I

in a

mean, I agree. Yeah. That sounds really unhealthy.

would say bad for your skin.

I am. I

Okay. And do you know what that was just then, ma'am? I

don't know. It seems like you really angry at me. All of a sudden, you've really gotten

serious. Up

your fist at my wife.

Excuse me. I've been 1 of the reasons I came out here was because I had a huge anger problem and I found that the energy healing all of the jewelry being away from people took away some of my anger a little bit but some of it still comes back like a little beast inside my tummy. Would

you say it comes back anytime you have a customer in here?

I don't

know. I mean, I'm not connecting the dots every time it happens, but I do

because you don't get in a fight with every customer of all time. Right? You don't. I

guess cut through

of all time?

Of all

time. Anyone who's ever been a customer.

So far, I have gotten in a fight with every customer. Amer of all time. But I can't say with for the future.

Well, I So this interview that every

interaction has gone for you.

It's going well. A lot of people I think we're lucky you didn't ask for the price of the lettuce, Turkey because that's usually when people really get pissed.

Okay.

Okay. Well well how much is the lettuce jerky? A first born. It's

1 first born.

Oh, you you

you're

a sick son of a bitch. You're a sick son of a bitch. You are

hang on. Sorry. You struck a chord with us. Getting out of here. We're getting out of here.

You really struck a chord with

this. So mad as a customer.

How did you know? What? What? How did you know? What's the court I struck? That we made a bad deal. For our firstborn?

No.

Yes. We killed him and we put the blood on the door. For nothing. And the angel of death didn't even fly over your house? No. There were nothing, apparently. That's

fate.

We were tricked by a pamphlet. And

then We took our second son up to the top of the mountain, cut his head off with an ax. Oh,

did you not finish the story of hit by hitman, Isaac?

gotta read the whole story. There was another

You

really good pamphlet.

Jesus. It's

christ. You've gotta read the whole stories. The

butt. You know what? I don't like it here anymore. I I got a good mind to yell at

really

get mad at you here. I would not like to fight with you, but I if you want to, I will shoot you.

I don't want. If you want, don't, we don't want, but you will shoot you. We don't want that. Let me know. Here how about this? Both of we want both of the head dresses that you're wearing. We'll take those, and we're getting out of here. You

know what? And also, I do wanna see 1 energy heal before we leave. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Never mind the headrest. Just do an energy heal in front of us and we'll call

it. That's good because the head dresses are as you can see, it's more head than dress.

Well, there isn't feathers on there. It's a small doll dress that's been stiffened and you're wearing it as if it's like a pope hat.

Thank you.

No. No. That was not a compliment. It was a descriptor that was delivered Kind of sassily. I heard well all I heard was the words and they made me feel good. Now

cactus, let's lay here on the table.

Okay.

right here on the table? A big karate chop hand being lifted up.

That's

Okay. And how many how many wood boards would you say you are today?

I would say probably 10.

I can do I can do 10 boards and 6 chops.

Great. Wait. Are

you We press even

don't cut this

do not cut this green man in half in front of us.

Oh, I'm sorry that I'm not using my scalpel and my tethoscope and my tongue depressor, but I'm using the hands that God, the woman gave me.

Okay. Beautiful. Alright. Go ahead and chop him in half.

Now you could no one's ever been more wrong with that. I I am very regular. So Okay. And so I'm feeling here around. Do you do you all see this around his purple head chakra up here? There's a lot of purple around here or a wise and moving down to the sex chakra -- Mhmm. -- right here A lot of red. Okay. So what we're trying to do is integrate the purple and the red.

Cactus. Cactus, you okay? There is a pretty big slice in cactus. That's actually pretty

but he also seems relieved. Oh,

i think I'm okay. Very good. Okay.

Alright. 6 more?

No. 5 more. I said I can do it in 6 hours. It's named that tune verb style where I'm trying to do it in under 6.

0, she's angry

again.

Okay. Now as we can see around the yellow chakra right around the throat, And that's the screaming chakra, like, which is what you do from your throat here. And what we wanna do is unleash the screaming chakra. So big breath in here. And release all your air and count backwards from 10:10.

No.

Honey, I don't they I think

i should get out of here. We gotta go. I think I'm okay. I don't wanna see this cactus explode.

Hang on. Hang

on.

Before you leave. The door is locked. That's right. Hey, let us out of here, man.

I mean, woman.

Whatever you want. Before you leave just tell 5 friends that you came here and had a good time. Just put it out there into the world. We're all about word-of-mouth. Whatever. I don't care just tell 5 friends.

Also, if you've been I feel like every person in the world has been a customer 1 point. And you've been in a fight with all of them? Well, yeah.

Up until now, everyone, all the people of all time have been in and out of my shop.

Of all time -- Of all time. -- like of

the past?

Yes. Past and present. What? You've met people from the past. They've traveled here.

Oh, no. Not She's a liar. Let's leave. I

don't know why I was believing her for a second.

I've you're right. Shoot.

I almost

have She's a lying old kook.

I almost had

him. Shoot. Alright.

Alright. Cactus, you need to come with us. No. Of course not. Cactus, you're badly injured. We need to take you to the hospital. Says you. Nice. I'm