Billboard Painters

Well, we've had a lot of interesting times together. We met some fun people, we looked inward, we looked outward, a few people died. And here we are, the final episode of Exit 43. And this one delves into people who deserve our respect, are often overlooked, and are finally getting their day in the sun. The Billboard Painters. And I'm sorry, I'm just not ready to say goodbye yet. On behalf of me and everyone else in the world, I just have to say thank you for listening. Thanks for spending time with some of these characters here at this exit. And I mean characters like odd people, not like, you know, Saturday Night Live characters. Like, oh, that guy was a character. Not like, uh, this guy is a astronaut who is scared of space. Or something like that. Shucks, I just can't say goodbye.

I gotta go. I'm just gonna blubber and ramble. Thank you so much for listening.

But I ain't gonna say goodbye. I'll just say catch ya at the next exit.

Pass me that glue bucket. There you go. Thank you. Thank you.

Y 'all are a little bit to the left, just so you know.

A little to the left? It's not quite center. Is it cornered?

Don't look cornered. Looks like the left side is overlapping and the right side ain't on the edge yet.

All right, shit. Well, pass me the scraper. There you go. Whoa, hey, hey, one scraper at a time, I'm gonna fall off the dang ledge here.

Sorry. Sorry about that. I wasn't sure exactly who you were talking to

because you were looking down. Fellas.

Yeah.

When we're putting up a billboard sticker, we've gotta do it orderly.

Yeah.

Well, I found out I was allergic to everything I was eating. I was overeating.

Damn.

Well, I was allergic to all the bad food, so now

I'm only eating veggies. Oh, okay. That's a good, healthy diet.

I'll tell you what. Making me fart. Yeah, we know. Making me fart. We know. All the veggies. Yeah. I didn't used to fart when I ate fast food.

It's all the veggies making me fart. I know. That happens to my wife, too. Whenever my wife cooks a healthy meal, I get into bed, and I'm just blowing the sheets up like a balloon.

Yeah, I tell you what.

You used to just, you know, when we all ate bad, you used to just have really terrible diarrhea. You didn't fart. Yeah.

And now I'm like. I'm embarrassing myself now.

Booting

all over the town. Well, you couldn't fart because you never knew what was going to

Right. Held them in, yo. Wow. Look at this. Can you believe they are already replacing that steakhouse

happen.

with a different steakhouse? One steakhouse gone, another one coming up, and

we got it rolling. They

are a chain jam. I'm going to miss that steakhouse billboard. Yeah. It was so clever. I always laughed when I drove by it, and it's just,

we're going to be sad to see a cow. Steer off to the right. S -T -E -E

-R. And then a car, a cow in the passenger seat of the car turning the wheel. Yeah.

It was so interesting. Pretty messed up when you think

about it. I guess take me, exit me here to kill me. Yeah. I loved it. That was a cow begging for the slaughter.

I loved it. And can you believe they were sued by Chick -fil -A?

Well, the font choice was very

similar, and

the cow - Well, that's our fault for painting when we lost the role. We lost the role.

Well, you know, we all have a little vendetta against Chick -fil -A. The cows are stealing our jobs, putting up their own

billboards. Now,

we've told you about this. That is not true. Well, then why is he up on

the billboard putting

up the sign? That's an ad campaign.

get up there and look, there ain't a cow up there. It's fake. It's just a really good quality 3D rendering.

you

If

Yeah, it's at least paper mache. I think your diet has severely affected your brain. Why? I'm eating all the carrots I'm seeing clearer than ever. Well

- Let me look at you. Uh -huh. Yeah,

that's you.

But see, that's not - That's proof.

Can't

beat

that. That's proof.

I think that this job has made us all too much the same guy. What do you mean?

We all came into this so different, and

we kind of all became each other. I

don't

know what you're talking about.

What? What do you mean? It feels like that - You're saying it like it's a

bad thing. I'm 17 years old. I came here to work for my dad. Yeah. And now I am acting like you fellas all the time. Work

for your dad. Well, don't forget who started this whole thing. Your grandpa. That's right. Who is across from me.

And I'm your son.

Four generations.

generations of middle -aged men. An 80 -year -old, a 50 -year -old, a 17 -year -old, and a 9 -year -old.

Four

That's important. That's right.

You are 9. Oh, my God.

Well, I'll tell you, I couldn't be prouder to be up here with three, nay, four

generations of my own seed.

And I love doing this work with y 'all.

Yeah.

business.

Yep. And let's just hope another sinkhole don't open, because four generations of the Smith family go right down to hell. I know. That's true. I know.

All right. Hand me that glue. I got it all lined up in the corner there.

Now I'm just going to hit the glue on the outside. And then we can move to panel two.

All right. There you go.

Nice. Looking good. Now, where is this new one? I did not look at the specs.

For the new steakhouse? Yeah. What's the gimmick of the billboard? Is it funny? Is it serious? I'm looking down

here. Looking like tiny steaks? Yeah. Looking like one to two ounce steaks.

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Tiny steaks. That's the name of the place. Oh, tiny steaks. No need for a knife here. Bite -sized

pieces. Finally. You go to a steakhouse and you go, well, someone get the damn knife again.

Wow. Yeah. Sometimes I'll go to a steakhouse, take me damn near three hours to damn eat. Damn. Right. Damn. Yeah. I'll be damned. Yeah.

Yeah. We all hate knives, right? I don't know what it is.

Well, the knife, then you got to chew it all. I feel like I'm a cow myself, chomping on greens.

And then wouldn't that be something also if you were a cow eating little bite chunks of cows?

That would be

I mean, that's kind of what the next billboard for the last steakhouse was. First, it's the steer steering off.

something.

Oh, and the next one is the cow with a napkin in its cow neck.

And he's eating a big steak saying, I don't care at

all. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa,

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,

whoa If I lose my granddaddy this early, I don't know what

I will do. I almost fell clean into the hole. Off the top, into the hole, and into my grave. We're going to let that

happen to you, Daddy.

Thank you, son.

And that was the agreement. Wherever we die is our grave.

Well, we have to have it prepped.

Every time we do a billboard, we dig a grave underneath. So that you just fall right in if you're going to fall. It's a beautiful tradition because it reminds you the stakes of every

billboard. You're putting up no pun intended.

No pun intended. I'm glad we got the headstones down there, too. And God rest my grandfather's soul.

Your father, when he

died, when we were putting up that funny billboard for the juice place.

Yeah.

What was it?

What was it?

A sigh of relief. You've made it to the juice store. That

was a good one.

They had to explain to everyone in town what a sigh was.

It's a

superfood, I learned.

Yeah. It is an amazing superfood. I'll tell you what I think is a superfood. A cheeseburger from Carl's Jr. But I ain't eating those no more. I wish.

Nope,

I

wish.

Just crudités dipped in

ranch

for us.

Because grandma made us all change what we eat. God, I wish I could eat a cheeseburger. Calm down

my flatulence.

Calm

down my flatulence. God, I am busting wind left and right up

here. It's nice we are up here and it's getting whipped around.

Yeah. What was really nice when we used to fart all the time, you could kind of keep yourself up here. If you were falling a little bit,

you just shoot a toot. Kind of like Kirby.

Yes, exactly.

Push a little bit of wind out of your butt and then you come back up. More human Kirby's. Well,

the first time we all ate the

cheeseburgers

too.

Yeah, we can inhale it and poot it out. All four of us have almost fallen into our graves if it wasn't for the Kirby

poots getting us right back up to the billboard. Do you think the town puts us up here because we stink so bad? They want us up on a pole 70 to 80 feet above them. High billboards, by the way.

Yeah, well, I don't know. I just follow in the family business, but I guess originally great -great -granddaddy wanted to be really close up to people with his work.

He wanted to be a social worker and

they said, we'd rather have you up high. Well, let me tell you the story. He would show up and a family would not have a problem and they would all of a sudden have a problem and be fighting with each other because he stunk so bad. The

social work is getting over him being there.

Yes.

Yes.

weren't working. They

were saying, nobody can fit in town.

The town square is wiped every time you walk through the center. You need to put these up in the air. Yeah. He was still making full -size billboards. Yes. Holding them up and walking through town, just knocking over things

on the sidewalk. Yeah, like a sandwich board, but with a full billboard. And someone said, these don't work.

I love having a sense of history with this family because I didn't know that.

And I love to know more about my great

-granddad.

That's

right. That's right. My grandfather, your great -great -grandfather. And my daddy. Yes, sir.

Fellas, I know I already have one son out of wedlock, but I need some dating advice. Prom is coming up. And the girl I want to ask, it looks like she wants to go with somebody else.

Oh, that's a frustrating thing. You know, I think you got the perfect thing right here in front of you.

Prom with my granddad, my dad, and

my son? What if we did prom right here? Son, I'd be honored if you asked me to prom with you. But what I was saying was you need to do a grand gesture.

A billboard invite. Maybe. You

know, she's always driving down this road. I know the girl you're talking about. You know, we talk about her. What's her name? Morgan Monroe. Morgan Monroe.

Oh,

I love her. Morgan Monroe. Just the sound of her name.

I think you go up here. You know what? Let's hold off a day on this steakhouse billboard, and maybe we swap it out for a Morgan Monroe prom ask.

Oh,

I would

love

that. Well, Dad, I heard you when I read your diary, and I saw that you had a big crush on Morgan Monroe, so I went ahead, and on the back of tomorrow's billboard, I've got a prom invite. Now, that is a son. Yeah. That is a son sneaking into my diary to do me a favor. I've been reading that thing. I don't know if you can tell, but I got it earmarked.

I was like,

did I dog ear this last time? I don't

remember doing this. I was wondering what all the paper cuts on your fingers

were. I've been

underlining

stuff. The stuff where it was like, needs more specificity, or like, explain this. Yeah, I was like, did I give myself notes on this stuff? No, I'm a nine -year -old in your diary,

and I got a prom invite right here. And what a sweet son to put it right on the back of the billboard that

faces the field away from the road that nobody can see. Yes.

That's beautiful.

It's amazing. And I got it. I got it right here for you, and I made it funny. Oh, my God. Do you want to unveil the

form? Hang on, hang on. Let me double clip in if we're about to laugh.

Oh, yeah. Let's double clip in for the laugh.

And the name is

Morgan Monroe, and it's prom.

And I have

one. Oh, I missed my clip.

Oh, you did. Oh, you farted into a

backup.

Nice. Good job, Grandpa. Nice Kirby action. Morgan Monroe, prom. And I, of course, have one,

but I

don't know if it's right on the tip of my Ted. Top of

my Ted.

Top of your head. I got one on

the tip of my Ted. I'd love to know

if we're ready. Morgan Monroe. I mean, it's sitting right here, so

whoever sees it first

can say it. Well,

let's roll

Wow. Is that what it says, or is that what we're pitching?

That was

a pitch, because

it wasn't funny.

Right. But it's good, though. It rhymes.

Yes. Well, look, I think that whatever it is, I'd be happy to actually see it. You've unfurled it, but you're covering my eyes here. I'd be happy if you

opened your fingers just a little bit. I'm going to just show you real quick, and you tell me what you think it says. But we won't know if that's for sure what it says.

Okay. Great. All right. Ready? One, two, three, Daddy. Okay.

Here's what I saw. Thank you, son. I just did a quick.

What I see is... Uh -huh. Morgan

Monroe, prom. Anything. Morgan Monroe,

prom. Yeah. Yep. And what it looks like is it's her driving to prom with somebody else and me reaching to the front of the car

and steering towards the off -ramp.

Okay. That's what you think you saw? To my house instead.

Okay. That she should come to me first. Good. It seems like you just saw the front of the billboard and the back of the billboard if you're going with the steer thing.

Oh, okay. Okay.

That could be it.

That could be it. And I... Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, my! Burp back down! Burp back down, Mike! Somebody throw me a...

Willy Wonka! Willy Wonka, bro!

Willy Wonka, burp down! Here, grab the broom! What the hell is this stuff called that

I'm thinking of? What are you looking for? It's in the bottle. It's really burpy.

Dr.

Pepper.

No, no. It's like a minerals water. Calistoga. Topo Chico. Topo Chico!

Topo... Ah! Too high! I can't breathe!

Here! Here! Here!

Let him go. No.

Let him go. No. That's my son. Oh, he popped. It's in the bottle! Oh, he's

coming down!

He's

Whoa! Right

into his own grave! Cover it! Cover it! Cover it! Cover it! Cover it! Dad! God!

That's my son down there. That's what they're there for. Shit! Daddy!

Well, I guess we don't need to know what the prom billboard said, because it don't seem like he's going to be going to the prom. But at least he's already rested. We didn't have to wait. We didn't have to go to a second location. He's buried. It's over. It's fine.

God.

It's fine. He's buried. It's over.

God! It's fine. It's so callous.

But he's got the headstone. This is why we do this.

so quick to move

It's sad, huh? He's

on, great granddaddy.

What did y 'all think they were there for?

You're right. I guess

I just never really

put it

all together before. You've never seen anyone fall into a grave and get immediately buried without even checking if they're dead? You've never done that? No.

Well,

today's a first, and there's a first for everything. Let's put this billboard up in his honor and finally say what it says.

Tiny stakes, steer this way. Let's get the last panel up, and then let's get the goofy one up.

Okay. Tiny stakes.

Okay, that's up. He's up. All right. Now. Flip it around. Flip it around.

Wow. Feet hitting the railing. Wow.

I

don't have my glasses. I don't have my

glasses.

Where are your glasses? Here they are. Here they are. Go ahead. Put them on.

Oh, now I see it. Now I see what it says. Oh, dang. It says, Morgan Mon go to the polls. This is like

that.

a

Hillary

Clinton thing where she said Pokemon go. What?

It's a Hillary Clinton thing where she says

Pokemon go to the polls.

Wait. She

said that?

Yeah,

she did. No, when it was like Pokemon go was the

thing that she said that? Yeah. That was her big thing.

I'm

dead.

Oh, no.

No, grandson. My grandson.

Hurry down. Put the dirt

on him. Put the dirt

on him. Come on.

No. Both two generations. Look how peaceful he is. He's not even dead. Put the dirt on him. Put the dirt on him. He's looking out one eye.

And

he's

covered. Dad,

if that's our politicians, kill

me.

He's covered.

He's covered. That's my

grandson, Dad.

it's just you and me putting up billboards, asking people to prom for our dead sons. I'm still into it. Well, we're going to ask those girls out. Well, don't you want their last wish to be carried out? I don't want to take a 17 -year -old girl to the prom, man.

Son,

he made. All right.

And I've already done one, so I think it's your turn. All right. I remember it.

Morgan Monroe, do you want to go with this old schmo down to the show that is prom? I'm not a grom. I'm not a mom.

I want to go to prom with you. Morgan Monroe, will you marry me?

That's what it said? That's crazy. That's what it said. That's crazy.

You know what? This sucks. I'm jumping off. No, daddy! Right into my spot. No. No. He's dead, too. Damn.

We went from four generations on this billboard to just one. How am I going to live like this?

Excuse me. Is

that about me? Are you Morgan? Yes.

I ain't asking you. This isn't me asking you. It's my,

you know, my son.

Do they want to go to prom or marry me? Is that Morgan?

Oh, God.

No,

no, no, no. No, no, no. Ah! Him. Zombie. Him. He wants to go with you, Morgan. Come on,

me. Oh, my God.

prom and marry

A dead, a popped man.

Wait, are you

from my

class?

You're

I'll do it!