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s09e23

Finger, Toe, Finger, Nail with Mr. DeLorean (Andy Richter)

Originally aired: February 19, 2020

The Teachers discuss Todd's phone calls, Howard being benched in life and Bill's Shark Tank pitch. Later, parent Mr. DeLorean stops by to talk about his daughter's bullying at school and home.

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now tied your pretty ordinary this morning.

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I don't want talk about it. Well, you

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came in here and a huff. You've You've loudly side every 45 seconds. Tell us what you're probably want us to ask you. What's going on.

0:00:12 Unknown Speaker #2

I don't want to say this, but it looks like and I didn't know you could actually literally do this. But it looks like you've slept in between the mattress and the box springs. And as we all know, that's you sleeping on the wrong side of the band. You got up on the wrong side of the bed,

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so I got up on the wrong side. I Well, I wish it wasn't literal, but I woke up between the mattress and box spring. That'll really I Well, but that was 3 a.m. Reposition myself realized.

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Get on the cold side of the mattress.

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Yeah, I was trying to flip it over cause I was sweating through a mattress last night, reposition around five or 6 a.m. And realized that I had actually gotten between the box spring and the thing I was but my shins on. Yeah, and so I slept the next three hours under that and it would have been OK, but butter bean was in town.

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Oh, my God. He texted you.

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You took some May

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who he loves to stay

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with you versus the hotel is that he loves to stay in my place.

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I don't know, but being very famous boxer, pasty white, rural butter being you'll get one thing. Yeah,

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And he slept on the top mattress while I was

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You have to say top

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mattress. It was the only you don't have to. And

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so did Butterbean. At any point. Wake Princess and the butter be? Yes. You know where I'm headed. Why was he the princess? And

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there was a But you were the P. You

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know, I don't know what happened, but then he married the prince. Okay, so it's

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butter being, and you're the P being,

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And he over the course that night, put a ton of mattresses on top of your mattress and suffocated you.

0:01:57 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, well, yeah, he stuff scared the pee me, um, and he and the P. But I would like I would be like if it was a bunch of new mattresses, because there's at least some softness. It was all box springs, I think cause he's a boxer travels with box spring and so that makes a lot of sense. But I was getting out of bed this morning, kind of flattened, and I saw a butter being in a prince kneeling in front of him Also trying on a glass shoe.

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Yeah, because I month I know

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Princess stories. I'm not exactly what I would. I think I'm the opposite of familiar with the princess and the pea.

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You're a stranger

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to Yes. What is it? What happens? So that Princess,

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I believe it's, ah that if she could sleep the whole night without being both by the peak demand mattress

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aftermath feeling the p so she eventually starts putting extra mattresses on top to try not to feel the people. She said

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I can't. I still feel the people.

0:02:56 Unknown Speaker #4

What's tomorrow? Don't be annoying. That's the moral of most of these fucking

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things. Storybooks. Don't you have a winner? Yeah. Yeah, Kick it.

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Oh, wait, no, Come on. That's We honor the sat way. Honor that one. Engineer Music. Which one? Honor Your Honor. Your Honor,

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please engineer with that one. Jesus, You wear

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a robe for a reason.

0:03:25 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, welcome to another episode. We've

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got to mention this is Canon. Now, our engineer is a judge, and we stand when they come in. And we said,

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the honor roll engineer, and we stand and trying to stop judging and we share we ship. Judge engineer

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was not so hard to nail. Judge, We also shout out Judge, Engineer, Judge Engineer. Yes,

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we dio that judge. Well, at

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this point, a little team probably ended so well started again with the kick. Oh, yeah. So

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agree. Honor Your Honor. That other your kick

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it, your honor sustained. Well,

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ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the teachers.

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Know what I had more to talk about? Let's let's disorder both kicking.

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OK? Do where I do not kick it. You're not playing the theme song yet. Hopefully it hasn't been

0:04:22 Unknown Speaker #3

still skin rumble stills? Yeah. What is Rumpelstiltskin? That's Ah, sport. Is it for it's something about his name. Right? Or is that someone else? Yeah. He demands

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someone's firstborn for his The gold

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that he spends. Perhaps it's a woman in a dungeon. Yeah, and he likes shows up and says, I'll get you out of here If you can spin me Golden Yard.

0:04:44 Unknown Speaker #4

Well, we've been burying the lead folks. Today is Myth Day days and it's going to be all stories and myths, fables and tales. A sops to base ops. Yes, and bass after the ones that I wrote in a scene that never took off. Yeah, they sat.

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That's all your myths about your bay.

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Yes, Humpty Dumpty was

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your was were above all else. At one point,

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Humpty Dumpty drawn a little differently in my story Bay had Let's just say, Let's just say it wasn't exactly a smooth egg. No,

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it was a grotesque drawing of Ah, really curvy woman of it, Sam Drew.

0:05:25 Unknown Speaker #4

They were throwing, apparently curvy egg, really going egg. But let's just do what he gendered Humpty Dumpty on. It was grotesquely female. Yeah, and I don't even know what I mean by that. I

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don't want to get into the big fat ass and all the King's horses.

0:05:40 Unknown Speaker #4

Absolutely Well, don't forget about all the kings when that was interesting, because it kind of showed that you don't hate horses. So you everything was switched overs and I passes and titties and all that stuff but the horses were left. This say,

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I guess, is

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the horse had big ass. Is a couple of those are said big titties. I think there may be percent behind the other horses. And you've been drawing these since you were. You were getting sin upstairs to your room. Yeah. 17. 17 is what I started. What a

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perfect punishment for a 17 year old goatee. Oh,

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my God. I guess what was in my room. I art supplies. You get to it, even you get busy. It was like I was like a mad scientist up getting busy on my Humpty Dumpty fables. I'm so happy that you guys finally let me do my little day about

0:06:32 Unknown Speaker #3

reponsible letting down her big fat booty.

0:06:34 Unknown Speaker #4

Wait, no. Since everybody liquefied into string What do you want? To grab a handful of Hera him? Full rum. That is true. Kind of the kind of the top of a tower. If a big, chunky rump is up there, I'll do it.

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All right, Kicking.

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Come on. Yes, we're honoring it, Your honor.

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Okay, Well, ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another episode of the Teacher's Lounge. The first, best and only podcast pertaining to issues relevant to

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the Hamilton High School. Kim below.

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Uh,

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yes, Todd. Speaker

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talking tied. Hang saving my don't take phone calls during the podcast.

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Put him on speaker. Yeah, I'll take your large.

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They called you getting our turn call from some restaurant

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through Turco. Well, took a large pizza. Was chairman.

0:07:26 Unknown Speaker #4

He's unsure. Yeah, he's not sure He called

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them. They blocked him. Pepperoni.

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You start order he call back from multiple restaurants.

0:07:37 Unknown Speaker #2

So he blindly stabbed at pizza? Maybe.

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Who is this?

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You're not answering

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our well. Oh. Oh. Took a large.

0:07:47 Unknown Speaker #4

Wasn't a whole town. He knows who it is

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in their own. So let's see what he ordered.

0:07:51 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, I'll take a large little Caesars pizza pizza. OK, that's a little C $5 foot long.

0:07:58 Unknown Speaker #1

Did no call that way.

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Ah, doing this for attention. I'll take this for. Is this an attention? No, I'm just sorry. Always just been a little busy on

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your phone's. Not even your phone's not even on Todd.

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What are you doing so busy

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on the dating APs that you couldn't order

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food? It's a bit starving. Bits of it has been

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dating all these restaurants via yelp, and it's like I guess they're finally He must be hot in the scene. Right? Right.

0:08:27 Unknown Speaker #3

All right. I got to tell you back and we got interrupted here.

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I see you're interrupting your show that you started

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the hosts. Well, see, Assume them.

0:08:36 Unknown Speaker #2

say topsoil ties during a yelp slash tender AP Yeah? Yeah.

0:08:36 Unknown Speaker #4

OK, so I

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Remember week or yesterday for us?

0:08:48 Unknown Speaker #4

Hey, I think this is pretty pretty fast progress. You already got people on callbacks.

0:08:54 Unknown Speaker #3

I got people on callbacks. Well, I'm leaving. Pretty. I found that you won't get a call back if you're just like I wanna meet up sometime. Whatever you gotta call and be like, Hi. I need you to call back immediately. There's an emergency, and you're the only person that can help call Darwin also. Ah, you get a quick call backward, people get that

0:09:11 Unknown Speaker #2

message. Wow. Yeah. Geez, there's pretty unhealthy time that another it sounds call 911 also. I mean, you haven't even gone out on a date or two. Did you see any of these restaurants? Are you seeing one? You this one feel like they're in the senate and he picks

0:09:25 Unknown Speaker #3

in the field right now. You have definitely setting picks. Okay? Definitely sending pictures. Kind of pick. United that photo shoot. Say, I feel like you're Baer in the lead

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here. I forgot we took that one of the foot

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long. We took the one of the foot long, Um, s So I was like, Hey, can you make a sandwich better than this one? I made a foot long. We did kind of beauty, beauty makeup on it. Turn the fan on. Actually got sucked into the fair. A couple too many filters. I would say to money filters like we're getting artistic. Oh, the

0:09:53 Unknown Speaker #2

note that you giving you notes?

0:09:54 Unknown Speaker #3

Yes. Main felt story filters, but, you know, had sex to get notes all the time. Right? Do you? It's my experience.

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It's always tell us. How

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do you get anything back? You get anything? Salaciousness, back essentials. So I said sweet, sensual. Between you and me, talker sent me a tortilla.

0:10:13 Unknown Speaker #4

No. Any bites out of it? Any of the little holes or anything? No. Have any holes?

0:10:20 Unknown Speaker #3

There were supposed no bites. I don't know if a massive some of

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that. You know what that means? I

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want you to take a bite.

0:10:27 Unknown Speaker #3

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

0:10:28 Unknown Speaker #2

Untouched tortilla, That's you know that's for you. That's that's that. That's like, Third Bull. You base,

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You're basically talking tortillas.

0:10:38 Unknown Speaker #4

Wow. I just gotta have gave me.

0:10:44 Unknown Speaker #3

Was the goal provided? Was

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that the judge? Judge Dio, Your Honor,

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there's you the judge or Howard.

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It was me. It was me. Mr. Judgment. You guys know I feel about bull Your base? Yeah, I've been to first. Yeah. I don't want to talk about the bill you basis. OK? You guys know have I have almost no experience.

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Not only are you

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a virgin, but you're a complete baseball to sex virgin. You've never even gotten up to the plate?

0:11:12 Unknown Speaker #1

No, I've never been given an at bat. I've been benched for my whole goddamn life. Wow. Yeah, it sucks. So when you guys start talking about stuff like this, it sort of reminds me of the last 53 years of my life.

0:11:25 Unknown Speaker #3

So talks about either sex, baseball or bull. You base your gonna roll your eyes and make a

0:11:32 Unknown Speaker #4

So I have sympathy for Howard. It's tough when someone makes you remember the last 53 years of your life. That is a hard time. Should live through it. That's a lot of time

0:11:42 Unknown Speaker #2

to take in simultaneously. How especially this round it down to a failure is there?

0:11:49 Unknown Speaker #4

We'll have in this week. Well, it's

0:11:50 Unknown Speaker #1

my birthday. You guys know that it's been my

0:11:53 Unknown Speaker #4

of course. Ah, yeah. I just have to get you something later. I'm looking at my counter. It's in here. You have something?

0:12:00 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah. Yeah. Happy birthday, man.

0:12:02 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. Whoa, That's awesome. This is

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exactly what I mean. This

0:12:06 Unknown Speaker #4

is him in years old. Wow. You guys

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don't even know me,

0:12:11 Unknown Speaker #4

huh? You even know, visited for 50. Your journey for born and we know when it is this week. Which of the days is my birthday is you care about your birthday? Go to hell. If you still command, you care about it and you make other people hear about it. Kill yourself Way here on the lounge. Have adapted a five once every five years. You get one and you get to invite people. But we ain't doing them every year.

0:12:42 Unknown Speaker #1

And the general rule is don't even get close to remembering how many actual years old you are. because it's gonna be different every time you say

0:12:49 Unknown Speaker #3

it's gonna be different every time will not be specific. Cannot be specific. But come on. If you want to celebrate your birthday, hit me up with a text. I don't know. It's your birthday. If you expect me to remember everyone in my life's birthday, you have not. What did you text?

0:13:03 Unknown Speaker #1

I texted you. This my text. You guys, this morning

0:13:05 Unknown Speaker #4

on which that was, uh, which fun You have more than one phone. Well, we got our phone. We got everybody else. You know, you guys have specific phones for me. You're always blowing us up. So we had to get

0:13:19 Unknown Speaker #1

a text. You Maybe once,

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but yeah, but you do that triple text, you don't just put it in one body.

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You ping me three times

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a row, it's not. It's It's all one complete, continuous thought.

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yet, but in

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I don't sure where what do you out.

0:13:34 Unknown Speaker #3

But there's obviously the follow up email. Hey, check your texts.

0:13:37 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, and the pigeon. And yeah, and then I pop into your classrooms on my breaks. Yeah. I also check in with your, uh, of the other other friends and your family so they can check in to see if you've talked to them about talking to me.

0:13:51 Unknown Speaker #4

What's in it for us? Your birthday. Pitch it to us. What do we do in? Where are you taking us? Why are we showing up? I can't. It's like a wedding that you have to throw. You can't get into

0:14:04 Unknown Speaker #1

it. I can't. No, I can't do any of that because you guys already missed. It was gonna be lunch today. That was what? The text. I texted you guys. I said, Sure, we're gonna have a big lunch.

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I was free. What? It goes. Shouldn't

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looked at your texts.

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Big lunch. Big birthday lunch.

0:14:18 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. Yeah. Was it? I'm sorry

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to miss it. Would you dio

0:14:22 Unknown Speaker #1

I mean, it was fine That set up over

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there on the concrete picnic tables? Yes, that you?

0:14:27 Unknown Speaker #1

It was the bouncy house set up. Yes, I got I

0:14:30 Unknown Speaker #4

got that. Just sad, sad, like tablecloth. You know, when the wind

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blows and everything keeps blowing away. Yeah, It must have happened. 100?

0:14:41 Unknown Speaker #1

Yeah, it would be nice. Bowl.

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Look up.

0:14:46 Unknown Speaker #4

I don't know what it was when they Now that he says that we have come. What about unless you say we took some photos and videos way, but we didn't know. I know Well, I looked at the video. It

0:14:56 Unknown Speaker #1

would have been really good.

0:14:57 Unknown Speaker #4

Was way titled it Birthday

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Party Gets set up and blown away 15 times.

0:15:02 Unknown Speaker #4

Wary, literal, Pretty literal. Yeah, well, we had Teoh. It wouldn't get the click. All I'm saying we monetize it

0:15:09 Unknown Speaker #1

more rolling. All I'm saying is it would have been nice to have a few extra set of hands to hold the napkins down. It would have been really nice to have somebody to go help me replace the cake when it blew off of the

0:15:19 Unknown Speaker #4

light cake you cherish. That was your problem. It seemed like you feel that book cake

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up with helium and the balloons up with dough

0:15:27 Unknown Speaker #4

that just may I. But is that true? I

0:15:30 Unknown Speaker #1

didn't do it. The store did, and I didn't catch the mistake until it was

0:15:34 Unknown Speaker #4

too. Let me say that was the most delicious balloon I've ever way started commenting. They were like it seems like the balloons and the cake that makes up you guys should eat a balloon So we did our own

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little side video we made so content eating the dough balloon.

0:15:47 Unknown Speaker #1

What did you guys do that when I fell asleep, I fell asleep by myself out there. Did you?

0:15:51 Unknown Speaker #4

Didn't you hear us down? No, no, no. Oh, yeah, we were Just take balloon. We Jack asked. Cake balloon. You fell asleep. We tied some strings to your feet. We hoisted you up tight, huh? Died You you became pinata. You can character we invented Yes, not not what you think, OK, we hit you with bats and you crash. So then what are the bruises on my come back? What a character.

0:16:24 Unknown Speaker #1

What the bruises on my stomach from?

0:16:25 Unknown Speaker #4

That's when when we filled you with candy and

0:16:27 Unknown Speaker #2

had people punch it out of that guy said

0:16:28 Unknown Speaker #4

that Kenyatta, the character is very similar. Define yacht, the bank. But you weren't a pinata. You were a character named can I just

0:16:37 Unknown Speaker #1

really wish you guys had done any of this with my knowledge. You know

0:16:41 Unknown Speaker #4

what you weigh way without the sleeping was the thumbs up.

0:16:47 Unknown Speaker #3

You didn't want to wake him up.

0:16:49 Unknown Speaker #4

So because we knew That's right, Todd, Because we wait So really, we were at your birthday and honestly orchestrated.

0:16:56 Unknown Speaker #1

No, you didn't even

0:16:58 Unknown Speaker #4

yacht. I wish it. You really nailed the character. I will say people are expecting an apology from their offensive. It's offensive and all caps. Every well, you guys better give him one. Well, fortunately for us, you were talking in your sleep. What? But it was offensive. I

0:17:18 Unknown Speaker #2

couldn't believe what you're saying. No, Didn't believe it.

0:17:21 Unknown Speaker #4

And you're sure? I had a stick in your mouth and I was doing the movement. But you were making

0:17:26 Unknown Speaker #3

the noises. Howard. I can't believe it. 2020. You would do pinata like

0:17:29 Unknown Speaker #4

that. I didn't. The voice

0:17:34 Unknown Speaker #1

I want to let

0:17:34 Unknown Speaker #4

everybody eyes. I want liberties.

0:17:38 Unknown Speaker #1

I want to let everybody out there know who's listening. Let them know that I had nothing to do with Pignon. I would never do a

0:17:43 Unknown Speaker #4

character really listening here. Here's what I will say. I got a

0:17:48 Unknown Speaker #2

call back from Mad

0:17:49 Unknown Speaker #4

TV. What? I don't know how. I don't know how, but apparently you have

0:17:55 Unknown Speaker #2

a call back this afternoon for man TV.

0:17:57 Unknown Speaker #3

We all know you start on SNL for the signatures. Now the time of in history

0:18:03 Unknown Speaker #4

you got? I got

0:18:04 Unknown Speaker #2

you straight to the front of the line. Are

0:18:07 Unknown Speaker #1

you kidding me? No. No. When was the idea of when is the audition? I said is when was the addition?

0:18:12 Unknown Speaker #4

That's today at five o. They saw

0:18:15 Unknown Speaker #2

the tape. They saw it on YouTube. They're scouring the net. But when they saw your

0:18:19 Unknown Speaker #1

arrive, guys, it's for 15. I'm not able to make it. I have to get it. Do you want

0:18:22 Unknown Speaker #4

to do it?

0:18:23 Unknown Speaker #3

I think we're all pretty prepared for the audition on your behalf. Just go. Go to sleep. It will take care of

0:18:28 Unknown Speaker #4

it. If you want to pass out at the end of this recording, you can do in

0:18:33 Unknown Speaker #2

your sleep. It's so easy for you to

0:18:35 Unknown Speaker #3

do it in your sleep. Unbelievable. Congratulations. This is big. I mean, they told the last time I email mad TV that they weren't taking your submission.

0:18:42 Unknown Speaker #4

I have no idea that Howard

0:18:43 Unknown Speaker #2

was easily the funniest, the most offensive one of us.

0:18:45 Unknown Speaker #4

I just was not sure of that. But now I believe it. Yeah,

0:18:49 Unknown Speaker #3

well, Sam, I mean, speaking almost, um, offensive. You have now taken on the whole smell of the climbing gym. Yeah. Yeah, that's right. And we all know when we see that you've worked out, right? Obviously, you're you're you returning to chicken fingers last week? Yeah, right. Um, what's new in the climbing world To get your community there?

0:19:12 Unknown Speaker #4

Well, as you can see, I'm wearing thin, thin tank tops Spaghetti stress spaghetti strap Everlast tank top. I'm screaming every step I take and just want everyone to know your These are in bad shape, like you screaming intensity Just just intensity, right? I look a little bit like a chicken strips still, but now also look like a real intense Jim guy Sweat too

0:19:34 Unknown Speaker #3

much like a chicken strip of gold's gym.

0:19:36 Unknown Speaker #4

Exactly. Exactly. Um, so, yeah, it's been going really well, buying

0:19:40 Unknown Speaker #3

a lot of people. People come up and say they want a

0:19:42 Unknown Speaker #2

bite, but then if they get too close, I have sort of a roid rage reaction

0:19:46 Unknown Speaker #4

on. I could see your finger that

0:19:47 Unknown Speaker #2

was are gone. Oh, come. I think you've been using a little bit of too much fingernail on the wall.

0:19:52 Unknown Speaker #4

I think you're right. A little more telling me that you're supposed to use your fingers, right? I thought it was fingernails. So actually had very

0:19:59 Unknown Speaker #5

little contact with the surface of the wall because I was using finger to finger nail.

0:20:04 Unknown Speaker #4

But I did have my toe not tow Now. Techniques finger to finger Damon technique his finger toe. Right. You figure on your toe. Okay. And then you use your fingernails or the other. That's right. That's hard. Yes. Oh, my God. Well, that's advanced. It's the advanced stuff. And I want to look cool when I'm climbing. So I do figure no finger toe and everybody is pretty pretty showed up. Fingernail finger, toe. I thought I was fingertip fingernail. No finger toe. It's different when you go up

0:20:34 Unknown Speaker #1

you're using figured out for your toe. You're going down your going finger to finger nail.

0:20:38 Unknown Speaker #4

Okay. Okay. Okay. Uh, you get eso

0:20:43 Unknown Speaker #3

you crab. You got to touch your tux,

0:20:46 Unknown Speaker #4

everything graduate detector toes and also touched the rock with no skin. You have to grab with just the thin mail, which is Look at your own nails. Think about how hard that would

0:20:54 Unknown Speaker #1

be. Yeah, You gotta get stronger fingernails or their exercises. You can do that. Make just your fingernail stronger. Great question.

0:21:01 Unknown Speaker #4

you could do a crab locker. Reverse crab block. Um, back up in the air. Kind of a cat cow. Move in the developed. And you can also sit in a hot tub for a long time and let him swell up your fingernail Swell. Sit

0:21:13 Unknown Speaker #1

in a hot tub. Makes him harder,

0:21:15 Unknown Speaker #4

not softer. Well, that makes him softer, but it also grows them every time. Every time you figure no swell up, they stay big. So that's the other big part

0:21:22 Unknown Speaker #2

of bouldering is You got to go in a hot tub, right after just grow the name. I can

0:21:25 Unknown Speaker #3

tell that you've been doing that cause you look so dehydrated. You go from a heavy workout to a hot tub and I don't know. And Todd said before, I don't know when you're drinking water,

0:21:33 Unknown Speaker #4

Well, it's This is a big It's a big commitment for my life. I am getting very dehydrated. But I Brian, every night. So I'm sitting in his in a solution of salt, water, sugar and water. These Ah, what a seasonings

0:21:43 Unknown Speaker #3

that I can't tell you about

0:21:44 Unknown Speaker #4

A A You're holding off a rock. Okay, so eventually, you are gonna cook yourself back up is what scares every day on the Rock, baby. Okay, every day on the rock that people take in

0:21:58 Unknown Speaker #1

Dar verses out to a routine right you're in 13 is sort of in preparation for your outward.

0:22:04 Unknown Speaker #4

That says, it seems like you're

0:22:05 Unknown Speaker #2

tanning up, but it feels like it might be or it smells like it might be smoked paprika.

0:22:10 Unknown Speaker #4

Well, I do a lot of different ways. Sometimes I'll do what I told

0:22:13 Unknown Speaker #5

you guys the other day. I'll take an egg wash. Then I'll happen the you know, the flower season tally of the town.

0:22:20 Unknown Speaker #4

we? Well, now it's flour. It's lowered, I can tell you about and eso Sometimes I'll be a nice Crist up wing, but also all do a grill. I'll just go healthy Option? Absolutely. I'll just pour some vinaigrette on myself, climb up the rock and put as much of my skin on the rock is I Can you be grilled on the hot? So I heard that, uh, you a lot of times,

0:22:20 Unknown Speaker #1

It was town. Are

0:22:43 Unknown Speaker #2

if there's a particularly good climber at the gym in town, some scouts will show up sort of like different people I heard rock climbing scouts are Some of them are showing up. But Wendy showed up. That's right. Looking. That's

0:22:58 Unknown Speaker #4

right. Well, as we all know, Wendy says new chicken strips and their garbage. So they were showing up. Teoh, check me out and see if I might be suitable for the menu. Okay? And so you're possibly going to give them the spices recipe? Well, we'll see if money talks. So have

0:23:15 Unknown Speaker #1

they made you an offer? It

0:23:17 Unknown Speaker #4

uh, not yet. I'm hoping that make me an offer I can't refuse, but nothing yet.

0:23:21 Unknown Speaker #3

I saw you climbing yesterday, and I was looking around and I was like, Wendy And then here some rubble. You go. That's the colonel over there. Yes, Cardinal was in behind

0:23:31 Unknown Speaker #7

me, Papa. I know.

0:23:33 Unknown Speaker #1

Think. And then in the field next door, those chick fil a, uh, trickling Oh, yeah. I almost think

0:23:40 Unknown Speaker #3

the moose, because we're called cows moves. Now, everybody,

0:23:44 Unknown Speaker #2

Everybody knows we're calling animals by their sound.

0:23:47 Unknown Speaker #3

Cowser MERS dogs or barks Cat, sir.

0:23:50 Unknown Speaker #4

Chickens and peacocks, Ducks and chickens. Chickens. Apricot

0:23:54 Unknown Speaker #3

conserve A cox. Yeah, it's Ah, uh I saw the Tripoli move their

0:23:58 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah, it's been tough. I'll tell you what, It feels nice to be sought after. You know, 1st 5 first time my life I've ever actually been sought after by a big corporation. I like an athlete for the first time. It gives you some validation.

0:24:10 Unknown Speaker #1

Build a big nod on that on that feels good to be noticed.

0:24:15 Unknown Speaker #4

Well, yes, Yes, yes, yes.

0:24:18 Unknown Speaker #3

Bill, your It's a gram. Advertising is getting you a lot of

0:24:22 Unknown Speaker #4

will you look at pieces of I don't know. I mean, I've I've stumbled upon amazing idea. Um, it's it's falling into place. When things happen, they happen. Um wow, you have faith

0:24:36 Unknown Speaker #3

in the divine all of a sudden,

0:24:38 Unknown Speaker #4

you I don't know. I feel at peace. I feel wanted. Um,

0:24:43 Unknown Speaker #3

and this is all this piece in this one, Mrs from the beef diaper

0:24:46 Unknown Speaker #4

beef diaper It literally feel into your lap one

0:24:50 Unknown Speaker #2

day and you never looked back.

0:24:51 Unknown Speaker #4

The beef diaper, As you all know, if you didn't listen

0:24:55 Unknown Speaker #2

last week or the week before, are

0:24:58 Unknown Speaker #4

maybe it was

0:24:58 Unknown Speaker #2

just last week. It was just last week.

0:25:00 Unknown Speaker #4

Uh, we're all familiar with that little meat pad underneath

0:25:05 Unknown Speaker #2

the ground beef sty in the tray that soaks up the blood. Uh, I have developed my own meat pad called

0:25:14 Unknown Speaker #4

the beef diaper. Um, and it's mawr. Absorb it. It doesnt stick to your meat like it does sometimes. And it's to replace that. Meet Pat. And you know what my favorite part is? It stays where

0:25:26 Unknown Speaker #2

you put it. It stays where you put it. That is awesome. You

0:25:30 Unknown Speaker #4

put this diaper on any sort of beef or meat that you want, and it stays where you put it does stay. It stays

0:25:37 Unknown Speaker #3

okay, Because what I want when I'm cooking beef is that it does not stay on the media, right?

0:25:41 Unknown Speaker #4

No, it's staying. You put it on the container. What? Weren't you take it off and put it on.

0:25:46 Unknown Speaker #1

And we all saw your episode of Shark Tank where Mark Cuban gave you a real hard time about this sort of issue. That that

0:25:53 Unknown Speaker #4

there's already one in the packaging. And why would you buy it? Take it out, put mine in and put the packaging bank on. Oh, shut up, Cuban. I thought he was a poor

0:26:01 Unknown Speaker #3

sport cause you gotta stuck on his

0:26:02 Unknown Speaker #4

head. Well, all those judges are obviously on the prowl

0:26:07 Unknown Speaker #2

when they're upset. They didn't think of something. So they come after you. They ask you these questions, they put you in a corner, but

0:26:14 Unknown Speaker #4

the beef diaper will prevail. So you I know it will.

0:26:18 Unknown Speaker #1

Sorry, I just cause you thought all the people on shark tank really liked your idea because it was

0:26:22 Unknown Speaker #4

no, that JLs Jallet was what? Our tanks jealous of the beef died.

0:26:28 Unknown Speaker #1

It was Guinness. Guinness screeched to a halt in Said it was the absolute shortest segment and shark tank history, right?

0:26:34 Unknown Speaker #4

Well, yeah, because they don't even want to entertain. The thought of

0:26:40 Unknown Speaker #3

the segment was short, but I will say the blowback on your end was long. I don't know if you saw, but Bill was in full food, Boo! Trying to impress one of the train mints

0:26:50 Unknown Speaker #4

trying to impress Cuba. Yeah, he's a food. I guess he didn't know who the actual found Waas. He had a big legal cigar at a big illegal cigar sandwich. What was the sandwich board? Oh, yes, yes. The pork sandwich. Yes, I and one of the other two You pleasant name. But it is a wonderful Oh, Mr Wonderful. As you know, I was playing that song. Everything is wonderful now by ever clear. Uh, so and I would scream Mr Walk. So with this beef diaper, they said no immediately. Already said

0:27:33 Unknown Speaker #3

no, he is in full food. Boo you legal cigar, your sandwich

0:27:37 Unknown Speaker #4

An illegal oversight to make the point every

0:27:40 Unknown Speaker #3

clear, everything is wonderful now is playing and Bill is try Teoh himself. But every time they say wonderful this on, he has to stop yell Mr

0:27:47 Unknown Speaker #4

Yell, Mr. Every day is Mr Wonderful now. So I do that. And I think there's another judge. Lauries, Laurie

0:27:56 Unknown Speaker #1

Laurie, the Q B c Judge

0:27:58 Unknown Speaker #4

glory and what's her last name way? Don't know. But Lori uh is Laurie is there and I go Sometimes I go Excuse May Mosad, Miss Metcalf,

0:28:15 Unknown Speaker #1

because you think it's Laurie Metcalf

0:28:18 Unknown Speaker #4

and I got that's Lori Make that should impress her because she's a different Laurie. So no, it's not someone like exactly. I hear you know, it's what they dismissed the beef diaper. And just like the clothing

0:28:31 Unknown Speaker #2

line Buck Mason. I'm not taking the deal,

0:28:33 Unknown Speaker #4

but who did have you on

0:28:34 Unknown Speaker #2

to talk about the beef diaper? Byron

0:28:36 Unknown Speaker #4

Allen on politics Way right across the hallway to another studio knocked on the door said, Byron, Ellen, you gotta let me on panel and I went on panel on comics toe comics unleashed setups for you were incredible. Oh, my God. So you're telling me you gotta buy diaper for beef? Yes. And I

0:28:59 Unknown Speaker #2

would go into the pitch and then and then the guy who drink the pee, uh, in Dumb and Dumber would

0:29:05 Unknown Speaker #4

go three Thailand. Williams Williams is the panel.

0:29:09 Unknown Speaker #3

Was you, Harlan William? Yes, Lampanelli and JB Smooth. And I'll tell you what it

0:29:14 Unknown Speaker #4

when it will be for the next month. Right

0:29:16 Unknown Speaker #3

on. It went so well. This do doing a residency?

0:29:19 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes. So I have a residency on comics unleashed right now promoting the beef diaper. The my set up question is always so, Bill, you have a diaper for beef and and I'm give I've I've

0:29:32 Unknown Speaker #2

offered Byron Allen 10% of the profits.

0:29:34 Unknown Speaker #4

Wow, they signed the deal. So that's why he's having me on. I saw a couple of the later set up for you. Do They were a little more subtle, you know? So, Bill, you're telling me you got bloody beef bottle of your Yes. Yeah. I don't know what to do about it. Logically, I own a company called Brief Diaper and it soaks up the blood. Yeah. Tell me any set up right now? Beef related and blood related. Anything? Anything. It could be anything. Byron, I'm practicing. Provided

0:30:05 Unknown Speaker #3

So, Bill, I hear you have a couple kids. That must be hard if you're cooking beef for dinner.

0:30:11 Unknown Speaker #4

Absolutely. Because the last thing you want on your Children is beef blood. But luckily for May, I've got the beef diaper and I own rights. Except member wearing Island Bear Island. Byron Allen, Barren island. We split the profits. He gets 10. I get 90.

0:30:29 Unknown Speaker #3

Well, I'm excited for this picture. And where it takes you, Bill, it seems like you're finally connecting to something to obviously ignore your family. Still, but it's still a connection. That's nice. We'll take a quick break and get a phone call.

0:30:45 Unknown Speaker #1

All right, folks, thanks so much for sticking it out through the break. We appreciate that. You know, you had a lot of choices for the media you consume and you choose the teachers left, and we appreciate it very much, you know, We're really excited for a guest today because to be honest, his daughter has been causing some trouble around the school. And it's gonna be nice to finally sort of see him face to face. You probably know his daughter Danni a za bullet junior. Okay. Very sorry. Very sorry. Uh, and and hard. You already pissed until I'm sorry. Alright,

0:31:16 Unknown Speaker #5

sorry. Okay. I just don't I don't know why I'm here.

0:31:18 Unknown Speaker #1

Well, sorry, Danny. It's just nice to sort of talk to parents one on one every now and then. So I'll just introduce you. This is Mr Denny DeLorean.

0:31:26 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, standing to Laurie. Hey, Danny. Teddy cracking has

0:31:29 Unknown Speaker #5

not gone. That's me.

0:31:32 Unknown Speaker #3

Uh, way brought you in here because, you know, we've got your daughter's been, um, cousin Trouble on campus Downey Jr. Um

0:31:42 Unknown Speaker #5

I don't know why this place this place should not be called a school. It should be called the place where spirits go to die. Because my girl is a strong girl. She's a She's a very, very strong girl. Yes. Yeah, I'm frightened of her. Actually, she is. And she's got a strong personality and she wants to assert it. And that's what I'm a feminist, basically right, And I believe in letting my girl do what she wants to do. Say what she wants to say, be who she wants to

0:32:19 Unknown Speaker #2

be. I mean, Denny way. We had a little bit of trouble with Denny at recess. We had to bring in a big tractor tire for her to flip over. She doesn't do any swinging are really seesawing.

0:32:30 Unknown Speaker #5

She does swinging, but with her

0:32:31 Unknown Speaker #2

fists. Yes. What? She was having so much aggression. We needed her to get some of it out on the playground. So we brought in a big jack tractor tires. She flips it over.

0:32:40 Unknown Speaker #3

What? We basically turned her lunch break into what Cesar Milan does with very energetic dogs. Just on a treadmill. Just running really fast. And you know what it is. But we were thinking, you know, we all come from families where, you know, we blame our parents for a lot of our issues. And so we were thinking, Let's go to the source for Denny's aggression. Ah, and you know, lack lack of self control. Denny Senior, which is you? Yeah. You

0:33:09 Unknown Speaker #2

think you may be passed down some things. Was it was the household. Ah, angry or our household? Yeah.

0:33:22 Unknown Speaker #5

You're gonna tell you? Um, it is. Ah, it's a bubbling cauldron. Basically, it's a pressure cooker. Ah, my wife and I, uh, we are deeply in love, but we can't stand each other. Of course, can. Yep. And we have, Ah, we have six kids. Danny Juniors, the youngest. I had to wait for a girl before I could get one that I could name after myself.

0:33:58 Unknown Speaker #3

You wanted a female Downey Jr to be named after, you know, my

0:34:01 Unknown Speaker #5

wife wouldn't let me. Just wouldn't let me name any of and ah, to be honest, it was a difficult birth. And my wife was under sedation and I signed the papers before she could say otherwise. I had to go away for a month. I did, because my wife's got a temper. She's got a real bad temper, I think I think, although I'm not sure I'm not like a introspective kind of fella, I think Danny Jr Model gotten it from her mom.

0:34:33 Unknown Speaker #2

I heard she did. She ripped the umbilical court herself.

0:34:37 Unknown Speaker #5

She did. She did. She did. Danny Jr did so.

0:34:41 Unknown Speaker #1

You do it your day junior ripped her own umbilical

0:34:45 Unknown Speaker #4

moon. Yeah, she was

0:34:46 Unknown Speaker #5

born with six teeth on. She bit right through that thing. I would could not believe it, and I actually had to pull it away from her. She's gonna She's gonna

0:34:57 Unknown Speaker #4

eat it. Yeah. She wanted to save

0:34:59 Unknown Speaker #5

more for later hoarding. It said she went right at the center. And I was like, No, no, little baby. No. And I hadn't named Houdini Jr yet. Uh, you know, I wasn't sure that I could get away with it until I was really sure that my wife was

0:35:15 Unknown Speaker #4

got up, ran down the hallway, ripped through most of

0:35:18 Unknown Speaker #2

the red meat at the hospital.

0:35:20 Unknown Speaker #5

She did. She did. She had. Well, like I said, she had 60 thin. They were sharp, right? Right. No, like puppy teeth. A real sharp like hers are, like, shocked. And there it was, three rows of to

0:35:35 Unknown Speaker #1

And that hasn't changed. No. Now, ah, 16 year old girl who has who has three rows of very sharp teeth.

0:35:43 Unknown Speaker #4

Is it home? Just so they know we have had

0:35:45 Unknown Speaker #5

to call animal control. She just to sort of get well, I mean, the police won't have anything to do with. They don't. They're all afraid. Yeah, they're like, we don't blame I don't blame him. I mean, she's ruined mawr. Christmas is, uh, just with fire. Yes. Then

0:36:04 Unknown Speaker #3

there was that year old tied blaze around town ways. Yeah, everybody was looking for the flaming Santa Claus. She would come down. People shouldn't and light all the presence on

0:36:15 Unknown Speaker #5

she would. And she's so fast. Your your Ah, you have your houses lit up, you and

0:36:21 Unknown Speaker #4

your like. I mean, the good thing is you guys were awarded millions

0:36:26 Unknown Speaker #2

from Paramount for the new. It's apparently going to be the new Grinch.

0:36:31 Unknown Speaker #5

It's true. It's true. It's called Ah, low, far Low Elf. No fire

0:36:40 Unknown Speaker #4

Took me a minute to remember. You know, Jim Carrey is already in the suit. Learning the movement is he's been the Super two months,

0:36:48 Unknown Speaker #5

apparently. No, it's, you know, there's never been a Christmas movie that really tackled the notion of holiday arsenal. So this is good cause it's finally, you know, it's an idea that's Thomas comes

0:37:05 Unknown Speaker #4

raising awareness. Absolutely. Date. You're you're an

0:37:09 Unknown Speaker #1

incredibly mild mannered guy When when we but we're bringing you in, I could have swore you were going to come in here and just immediately tear us

0:37:17 Unknown Speaker #4

apart. Yeah. No, no, no. You seem chill.

0:37:21 Unknown Speaker #5

Well, I'm afraid. Okay. I'm afraid a lot, Uh, to be honest, uh, I live in such a constant state of fear that I have almost no control over my bodily functions. Live to keep it chill or else I swear to God, I'm gonna mess this chair, right? Right. Yeah.

0:37:21 Unknown Speaker #1

I'd say.

0:37:43 Unknown Speaker #3

Hey. Yeah, That's something I can relate to, Brother. I have so much trouble. I think it's fear confrontation, but I will mess myself right away. And I don't know if you found this, but it's a good way to get to ease the situation.

0:37:56 Unknown Speaker #5

Sure. I'll tell you one thing. It's a good way to get out of church shitting ourselves. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We sure I didn't know we could say

0:38:04 Unknown Speaker #4

that. Hey, Free. Yeah, Free. I mean, don't let the beast out free. Won't you fake

0:38:10 Unknown Speaker #2

you? Not fake, but you'll shit yourself and you'll get out of turn.

0:38:13 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, sure. Sure will. Sure will.

0:38:16 Unknown Speaker #3

God doesn't know the difference.

0:38:17 Unknown Speaker #5

Well, I'm what you call an agnostic, but my I kind of keep that a secret from a wife? Uh uh, because she

0:38:25 Unknown Speaker #2

is she violently religious or atheists?

0:38:29 Unknown Speaker #5

No, no, she's She's very, very, very really OK, OK, eso, but yes. You don't want me sitting next to if I've got a full pants. Let's go. Yeah, and they just They actually put a garden hose next to the church for me and, uh and I just I just where, you know, Just like track

0:38:54 Unknown Speaker #4

pants. Sequins there. Okay, Coming back in and rejoining. No, no, I don't

0:39:00 Unknown Speaker #5

come back. You know, I just clean off. Ah, wait in the car, or I'll go down to the community room and get a head start on the lemon bars.

0:39:11 Unknown Speaker #4

Right. Famous for your lemon bars. Do you keep your Insua yourself and you'll start making the bar.

0:39:17 Unknown Speaker #5

No, I'm eating the booth. You know, you unless you get down there right away, people. You know, it's like a rush to get past the pastor. Nine sermon, pastor, and under. But they're elbowing each other to get

0:39:30 Unknown Speaker #2

right. It does, You know, whatever it on there for. Yeah, it's free. It's like black Friday. Get

0:39:34 Unknown Speaker #5

sure is lunching. Oh, it sure is. It's wild But anyway, I guess I do want apologize for Denny Junior. I know she's a handful and ah, we have thought many times of institutionalizing her. Wow, But I tell you what, you know. It were a farm family. And, ah, I'll tell you about harvest time. Her anger comes in handy because she just punches the corner off the stock.

0:40:04 Unknown Speaker #4

She's functioning as a big two ton combine, right? And you

0:40:12 Unknown Speaker #5

just got to go behind her with a basket and catch him.

0:40:14 Unknown Speaker #2

Yes, she actually really helped out in the Midwest. Uh, she she supplied almost like all of the corn this year for one of our she just couldn't kind of mo it all down and process the colonel. That's right, Shot. She's

0:40:28 Unknown Speaker #5

also, you know, when it there's all kinds of different farm activities and labor that she's good at cast rating hogs. You don't need a Nike. Oh, you don't need a knife. She just rips him a Oh, she loves it. And I gotta tell her No, honey, you got There's only one time of the year we do that. Yeah. You can't just rip the testicles off everything you see right.

0:40:51 Unknown Speaker #3

We've got to tell you that on campus.

0:40:52 Unknown Speaker #4

I know, I know. I get the notes. My wife don't read him well, and we've had to resort. We can't even contact you guys anymore. We just send a note and hope that things

0:41:02 Unknown Speaker #5

don't know they're know it. Yeah, I see him, but, you know, But that's just, you know, I know you tape them to the between her shoulder blades. She doesn't know it's there on I get home. And I know that's how I know that's how I communicate with a lot of people is just a tape. A note? Yeah, I call it the shoulder blade Mail.

0:41:24 Unknown Speaker #1

Very good Name. Very straight. Straight forward to the pool It is. We know where to find it.

0:41:28 Unknown Speaker #5

Right? Is yeah. I didn't want to make it. You know, I don't want to make a cute name for it. Like with, you know, different people like my lawyer or social workers or

0:41:43 Unknown Speaker #4

not. A ton of

0:41:44 Unknown Speaker #2

people showed up to your birthday party. Ah, a couple years ago, because most of the invitations were sent showed up.

0:41:51 Unknown Speaker #5

They were They were, and people were afraid to get him off of her because she got a I mean, I told people when I see him, you know, I'd whisper it real quick because usually amount with. And my wife comes with me and I whisper it real quick. I'd say you can, darter, and you could just darter. And then if she goes down, then you can get the note off between her shoulder. Oh, that's Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, Darters.

0:42:16 Unknown Speaker #3

Probably when I would walk by each other at the at the Kruger's all the time and you would be whispered something so fast, but looking back and forth a bit, What

0:42:24 Unknown Speaker #4

did you just say?

0:42:25 Unknown Speaker #5

I was put out saying was Tartar.

0:42:27 Unknown Speaker #4

You thought you were telling asking if I had a daughter? Oh, no, no.

0:42:32 Unknown Speaker #3

Have these quick, whispery conversations with each other?

0:42:35 Unknown Speaker #5

No, you got to get it. And you got to get her in the neck because that's the only place where the hide isn't so thick. Hide. Yeah, well, I mean her skin. I call it hide cause it's too thick to be people skin

0:42:47 Unknown Speaker #4

that I know, you know? And are you still renting

0:42:50 Unknown Speaker #2

her out for bull riders to practice?

0:42:52 Unknown Speaker #5

So, uh, sure. Am I sure am. Yeah, they You know what? Actually, that's like something that actually does calm or down because you know, you

0:43:04 Unknown Speaker #4

got if you can't ride

0:43:06 Unknown Speaker #5

Danny Jr, you shouldn't be on the PVR. So that's that's true. It's like, awaited back. It's so much the weighted bat, and she actually is combed by the sound of breaking bones. Wow. So the you know, she goes through the wannabes and it combs or down I say enough so that the good guys can actually get what would be akin to ah PBR level ride. As opposed to trying to tame a cyclone cyclone with triple row teeth.

0:43:41 Unknown Speaker #3

The big issue with her, though, is she does not let the barrier stop her from getting to the rodeo clown. Oh, no. She'll hop that barrier. They are not safe in a

0:43:48 Unknown Speaker #5

Tae Cheryl submarine. She doesn't like clowns. Yeah, because you took the only person I ever knew that didn't like

0:43:54 Unknown Speaker #4

plan. If they're not, we're

0:43:57 Unknown Speaker #5

know they're they're they're

0:43:58 Unknown Speaker #4

funny. You see that it to jumping in the theater, running out. I was going to fund,

0:44:10 Unknown Speaker #3

you know, why would they put Bill hater in this if it wasn't a common.

0:44:13 Unknown Speaker #4

Exactly. Denny, I got a question for you. I kind of feel bad that you live in fear all the time. I mean, is there any way we could get you to set a boundary or put your foot down? Or

0:44:25 Unknown Speaker #5

I've tried so many things. Ah, reconstructive surgery. Uh, I made a deal with the US marshals to relocate me, but they said that unless Denny Jr or my wife committed some kind of federal crime, then I was just I was just out of luck.

0:44:50 Unknown Speaker #3

So right. I remember that because you tried to become a postman. Bor. Ah, cop. Because you're like, Well, then it will be federal.

0:44:59 Unknown Speaker #4

I threw off through

0:45:00 Unknown Speaker #5

Danny Jr into the Federal Reserve, hoping just hoping she'd take off on arm or a lamb or come out with a mouthful of bull yon. But she didn't. She did. She

0:45:14 Unknown Speaker #5

couple of gold bars That she did, she did. And I tell you, ruined our plumbing. But he's that, you know, it's ah, it's How about my boat? Straight. You sifted out. I shouldn't hold from Denny dropped. You know, it just shattered the toilet. I went in there and It was like it was like a finding a pearl in a broken shell.

0:45:14 Unknown Speaker #4

ate a

0:45:42 Unknown Speaker #3

But instead, it was a

0:45:44 Unknown Speaker #5

gold bar. Bar bar. Yeah,

0:45:49 Unknown Speaker #4

well, you haven't tried going to Spain,

0:45:50 Unknown Speaker #2

and, ah, hiring her for the running of the Denny, my dear,

0:45:53 Unknown Speaker #4

I did. I did. You just leave for things I did. I just let her go. Most deaths they've ever had. Yeah, well, it was not announced, and she was just going through the street. There was no.

0:46:05 Unknown Speaker #5

Well, the thing is, it's a first year that there were mawr bull deaths

0:46:10 Unknown Speaker #4

and I just didn't run away. She ran right into him. We had a bunch of just punched

0:46:16 Unknown Speaker #5

him in the face, her fists. They're like bazooka bullets or whatever a bazooka fires. And she just, uh yeah, she just you know, she came home and she was picking bullhorns out of her knuckles

0:46:32 Unknown Speaker #4

because it was the people. Names followed the bulls, The people were being run by the bulls

0:46:37 Unknown Speaker #2

and the bulls were being run by Danny Jr.

0:46:39 Unknown Speaker #4

That's right. I don't believe us. Right. And she was upper cutting. She was launching them into the beautiful the beautiful countryside. Yeah. Unbelievable.

0:46:49 Unknown Speaker #5

They called her L Morte di Toro, which I don't know what that means.

0:46:57 Unknown Speaker #4

I think you mean on the death of the bull. I thought I thought, Bull Girl thinks I

0:47:08 Unknown Speaker #1

mean, that's honestly I It's interesting to get this sort of shading into Danny Juniors backstory because, honestly, we as her teachers, don't have this kind of, ah access to this kind information, and it just is painting her in a completely different light and your home life. Honestly, the more you talk about your wife, the more I'm also scared for you. And

0:47:28 Unknown Speaker #4

for I mean, it's really

0:47:29 Unknown Speaker #2

terrible that you live in that China shop.

0:47:33 Unknown Speaker #4

It is, But that is it. That's almost too on the nose. Well, my

0:47:38 Unknown Speaker #5

wife four. Well, I mean, uh, I guess she got a call her a terror for a terror. She loves pretty things. Uh, and she really wanted to. She likes those Ah, law. Dro um figurines like like like it's like girls holding gooses on plastic like a little boys and a puppy. Or like a There's one where there's like little fella pushing a wheel barrel in the wheel. Burr in the wheelbarrow. There's another little fella I

0:48:18 Unknown Speaker #3

got Are these ones with rosiest cheeks? Yes, another ones

0:48:22 Unknown Speaker #5

and beautiful. She's got them precious moments. Yeah, And I

0:48:27 Unknown Speaker #4

want to tell you those things

0:48:28 Unknown Speaker #5

hurt, they hurt like if you get it, If you get a good if they if you whip him hard, they hurt.

0:48:36 Unknown Speaker #2

They dio Yeah, it's a specific type of porcelain shop. You're right up

0:48:40 Unknown Speaker #5

it braided a little pieces get wistful it because it's like something something sweet, right? But something that's

0:48:49 Unknown Speaker #2

not right when you get cut by them men Veals s right, right? Right

0:48:54 Unknown Speaker #3

bit by your great arm. Yeah, there's a little comfort familiarity, but it still hurts.

0:49:00 Unknown Speaker #2

That's happened, all of us.

0:49:02 Unknown Speaker #5

It's like if Michelangelo's David was to fall on a you thing of beauty, old boy.

0:49:10 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah. Wow. Did happen to you, right when you guys

0:49:14 Unknown Speaker #5

went to Italy as drink. That's true. I was I told her to get off of there. I told her to get out for there. She was. She was, uh I'm talking about Danny Jr. Yes. She was very upset by the scale of the hands, you know, still upsetter. Yeah, because Michelangelo, he made the hands outsized. Uh, and I think it was distorted, um, to sense that, like that duty of David that he had to society into Christianity, to the church and to God on, uh but she was like, No, which I means the hands are too big,

0:50:04 Unknown Speaker #4

right? Right way. We should

0:50:06 Unknown Speaker #1

mention she is mostly non verbal.

0:50:07 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah. Yeah, you got it. But, I mean, you all of

0:50:11 Unknown Speaker #1

you know, her means again.

0:50:12 Unknown Speaker #3

That's clearly a choice on her And that she communicates with the fist. The other than the word.

0:50:18 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah. Oh, absolutely. She's a poet. A poet out of the pugilist.

0:50:24 Unknown Speaker #4

She was pretty upset

0:50:25 Unknown Speaker #2

by how small. The Mona Lisa wasn't really ripped up, though. She sure did. Yeah,

0:50:29 Unknown Speaker #5

I was. I'm gonna tell you something. That was embarrassing.

0:50:33 Unknown Speaker #2

I've been there. Yeah, I blew

0:50:35 Unknown Speaker #3

up the luv years ago. It was

0:50:37 Unknown Speaker #2

part of his story line. He blew up the

0:50:40 Unknown Speaker #4

stuff. Really tough deal. Yeah, I had a breakdown, I think. Also the Mona Lisa room. I think it might be the only thing we know about the loom in this show apparently takes place in the real world. So there was a rebuild of the Louisville. Our service. I saw that on TV is right. Yes. So that was another

0:50:58 Unknown Speaker #2

thing that happened in lieu of I

0:51:00 Unknown Speaker #4

guess we bring up the Louvre lot. Maybe Ideo. I'm obsessed with the way. Yeah, well, I

0:51:06 Unknown Speaker #3

think it was polite of you two because you took her with rowing, running the bulls than the ring of that ended. And you still said, Hey, let's get some culture. And while we're in your because your family doesn't get an opportunity to travel that

0:51:18 Unknown Speaker #5

we don't, you know you know, farm work. There's a lot of farm work. Um, luckily, we left the boys at home. Yeah, because they had been begging us and begging us. Just get her out of the

0:51:32 Unknown Speaker #4

country. I just give us two weeks

0:51:36 Unknown Speaker #5

is all they wanted and eso we went to the airlines. We went to Ah Elliot Daly, Alitalia Daily Tally Way said this is a mission of mercy, and all she had to do was smile at him and they said, Just get on there yet

0:51:57 Unknown Speaker #4

on there. And is it true that they drug her like by those strings underneath the plane like a It was a cargo net. Ah, and she said it got pretty cold because they went up the full 15,000. Although I was 33,000 0 I don't know how high Plains got. Yeah, I mean, I have

0:52:19 Unknown Speaker #5

a feeling she iced up. Yes, just because when she got down, her clothe the they were still little crunchy Father knows. Yeah. Yeah. That's

0:52:32 Unknown Speaker #4

the kind of thing Only a father would recognize What you guys got there. She

0:52:36 Unknown Speaker #2

thought out you guys wrote her around the mall fix?

0:52:38 Unknown Speaker #5

Sure. Sure doesn t o g she actually, uh I mean, there's another thing I feel bad about. She ruined the Sicilian

0:52:49 Unknown Speaker #4

Tuna rodeo. She ruined it. So I'm not

0:52:55 Unknown Speaker #3

familiar with, uh, how much of it is Sicilian. How much there is to know and how much is like what I consider a rodeo.

0:53:02 Unknown Speaker #5

Well, what it is, it's ah, it's the the harvest of the tuna, the bluefin or run in. And the men get out there with just these, you know, their little boats, and they put a big net in there and they pull it up, and then it just there's all these big, you know, football tuna and ah, we were just on. Ah, catamaran sightseeing. And I want to tell you she saw those big old flopping tune and she went nuts. She went nuts. She chewed right through the net to drag through a couple of the men. Jude, and I mean, I'll tell you, You wanna check the price of bluefin? It's expensive.

0:53:47 Unknown Speaker #4

Really saw that documentary apply. She she done run and the actual supply of the tuna. That's really surprising. Honestly, after we

0:54:02 Unknown Speaker #5

took her to a Gator farm, it wasn't that a former Gator farm. I got

0:54:07 Unknown Speaker #3

to say no surprise. It's now get her cemetery, right?

0:54:11 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, yeah. Now they just sell purses, shoes and belts like that. Yeah, some guy tap dances there cause she can really speak a large animal. She's not so good with the small ones, but just, you know, she

0:54:27 Unknown Speaker #1

doesn't precision that you need for a smaller animal.

0:54:30 Unknown Speaker #5

No, no knows. It gives it a bite and then she peels it like a banana.

0:54:34 Unknown Speaker #4

I guess that explains, got to be something with a thick hide like that explains.

0:54:40 Unknown Speaker #2

I mean, we we rummage through City Hall and find out who's declaring bankruptcy. That's one of our hobbies. Sure, just so we can have that information on him and may be shamed them publicly. We

0:54:52 Unknown Speaker #4

need Teoh. Do it. She have Teoh, I gotta have a

0:54:57 Unknown Speaker #2

dagger. Somebody comes for May. It's all

0:54:59 Unknown Speaker #4

about leverage. Yes. And what? I guess that's why you're

0:55:04 Unknown Speaker #2

Ah, you're you're filing for bankruptcy is keeping up with all this food you have to feed any Joe must be expensive. Yeah.

0:55:12 Unknown Speaker #5

Yeah, well, in settling claims from people, a lot of my fellow farmers and stuff, you know, she'll go through their livestock. She'll just kind of, you know, like you got a silo. Will corn Childress open her mouth at the bottom?

0:55:28 Unknown Speaker #4

Just let her relax. Corn. She loves corn. She'll suck down a whole Seiler. She will another l I

0:55:35 Unknown Speaker #5

mean, you know, she'll come back a couple times and she's not a monster.

0:55:39 Unknown Speaker #4

That's interesting, because I am

0:55:40 Unknown Speaker #2

so obsessed with corn husks. Another ah, good detail about our characters.

0:55:45 Unknown Speaker #4

You're learning our care. They blew up the loop. I'm of obsessed with corn. I should come to school more. Your fellas,

0:55:54 Unknown Speaker #5

they're fun. I was afraid this is gonna be a you know, like an interrogation session, right? Were no like

0:56:00 Unknown Speaker #1

no we get interrogated enough on our own way. I don't like to necessarily bring that on other people. We like to sort of see the good in people and talk about the good.

0:56:08 Unknown Speaker #2

Yeah, Detective, usually once a week is shining, pulling that lamp over on the detective table and in good copping bad, copping us about something in town.

0:56:18 Unknown Speaker #3

We'll get interrogate every once a while if I'm just looking for a cup of coffee out of a Styrofoam. Yeah, I'll say it's time to do something to get interrogated for. I need a couple free refills and I move on to

0:56:29 Unknown Speaker #2

stop some shitty coffee out of a Styrofoam month.

0:56:33 Unknown Speaker #3

That's right. If my mechanics closed for the weekend or something like that, I need a good cup of Joe. I'll get interrogated. Me, I'll walk around the crime scene. I'll revisit crime scene. They'll give you cigarettes, too. Oh, I'll go through a

0:56:45 Unknown Speaker #5

pack. Yeah, And then, like the little those little peanut butter crackers out of a vending machine, just keep bringing you.

0:56:52 Unknown Speaker #4

You have a favorite cup of coffee, didn't we? We

0:56:55 Unknown Speaker #2

love Ah, mechanic. Coffee. We love courthouse coffee, real dirty mugs. Yours a little look. A little dry creamer, huh? Do you know? Do you have a place where you like to stop

0:57:08 Unknown Speaker #5

for car? Auto parts? Doors are good. Um, I mean, nothing tastes better. Then Bari stew prepared coffee that's got somebody else's name on it,

0:57:23 Unknown Speaker #4

like steel. And it's really go.

0:57:25 Unknown Speaker #1

And it's like Russian roulette. You don't know what they ordered.

0:57:28 Unknown Speaker #5

You know what they are? Rabbits. A surprise. You

0:57:31 Unknown Speaker #4

know, it seems like the one you're holding is all whipped cream. Somebody. What

0:57:34 Unknown Speaker #5

is it? Is And my because you noticed my name is not Kumiko.

0:57:38 Unknown Speaker #4

I did notice that. So you swiped Kumiko is whipped cream rolled on? What? You know, that's kind

0:57:45 Unknown Speaker #5

of surprised, cause I didn't think Asian people could handle dairy. Of course, I don't need to be I don't You know, I know it's ah. It's not right to suppose things about different types of PPL's, but I think that's a safe

0:58:01 Unknown Speaker #4

when no lactose intolerant

0:58:02 Unknown Speaker #2

way we can throw that around around every race.

0:58:06 Unknown Speaker #4

They were also lack toes, intolerant intolerance. So foul years. Oh, yes, that's not bad. Yeah, bad. So far, they haven't come for us hating people who are electors to tolerate. Well, I'm not gonna let us have that either. Right? Right. Forced yogurt feeding things like that. Another general last have to turn the other cheek. I'm not trying Sig

0:58:31 Unknown Speaker #2

ast's or whatever it

0:58:32 Unknown Speaker #5

looks like on the label

0:58:35 Unknown Speaker #4

brands. Easy. That's that. Icelandic. Yeah. My land.

0:58:39 Unknown Speaker #3

Yeah, well, I love Ah, nice landing. I like any sort of boom. So we had the Greek yogurt boom and then another country was like, Let's get it going by Slave got in the mix. So now trying different ethnicities, Australian yogurts Australia

0:58:54 Unknown Speaker #5

is it's like called wallet. Be

0:58:58 Unknown Speaker #4

like I'll straight has got, like, six things way importing more yogurt. They I'm

0:59:04 Unknown Speaker #2

only eating oat milk right now because that's the That's the best thing you throw in your coffee. I'm I'm going all oatmeal.

0:59:11 Unknown Speaker #3

Didn't the other ones didn't take stuff like dirt? So I started doing up milk in there, and now I'm finally getting my cup of Joe with that right amount of field flavor.

0:59:21 Unknown Speaker #4

It really takes everything about

0:59:22 Unknown Speaker #2

coffee and takes it away, which is what I like with my cream.

0:59:26 Unknown Speaker #3

And when I sip it ago that was worth a dollar.

0:59:29 Unknown Speaker #4

What's good about it too,

0:59:30 Unknown Speaker #5

is that you drink less coffee because you have to put in about 1/3 coffee and 2/3 goat milk to get the right color.

0:59:39 Unknown Speaker #4

Theme color is so important. Yeah, because we

0:59:44 Unknown Speaker #5

or in and pouring and pouring and it's still, you

0:59:47 Unknown Speaker #4

know, it looks like somebody's barn. Yeah, I got dark brown. Yeah. No, anything like me? You're just

0:59:53 Unknown Speaker #5

overflowing all over the little station, right?

0:59:56 Unknown Speaker #4

Morning, Europe milk. And I don't know what to do. What? I sip this. I guess I just let it pour all over the place. Yeah,

1:00:01 Unknown Speaker #3

they follow me around at that station now when I get there because it is a mess when I'm done with Yeah, and I'm standing there shaking the little figure.

1:00:10 Unknown Speaker #4

You're out of half enough. I've used it all. You put so much

1:00:14 Unknown Speaker #2

powdered sentiment on top of year.

1:00:16 Unknown Speaker #3

I was so glad they had How did? Because? And your coffee, honey and Stevie is not enough. You need a little kick in there inside the pound instead of women. I kind of tough it off.

1:00:26 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah, you mostly do half a cup of sugar in the raw slight splash a

1:00:32 Unknown Speaker #2

coffee powder, cinnamon,

1:00:33 Unknown Speaker #3

and that's a nice coffee. So I could be true in that sugar in the rides, never dissolving in there.

1:00:37 Unknown Speaker #5

And I bet I bet that's not bad. People who think you're like, uh, have air of mystery, you know?

1:00:43 Unknown Speaker #3

Why do people do look at me that way?

1:00:45 Unknown Speaker #2

European, Yes. Always be weird at the coffee stand will be jealous.

1:00:52 Unknown Speaker #4

Coming Where's he from?

1:00:54 Unknown Speaker #3

If you they see me used to be that I got my small notebook, my long scarf on my confusing coffee and everyone's like French about your screenplay

1:01:02 Unknown Speaker #5

at the milk and sugar stand. But I like to do just because I'm so powerless in my life. Uh, I'll bring the laptop and I'll set it up right in front of spread male bows real big and answer emails from, like, 7:30 a.m. to. But you know, 8:40 a.m.

1:01:22 Unknown Speaker #4

Because, you know, 80

1:01:23 Unknown Speaker #2

percent of the people who walk in there are gonna be so nonconfrontational. They're only going to kind of roll their eyes.

1:01:30 Unknown Speaker #5

Some of them get really, man. No, they didn't really loud. Yeah, but,

1:01:34 Unknown Speaker #4

you know, I got

1:01:35 Unknown Speaker #5

Bose headphones, uh, at ah economy Costco. They had made a new model, and I got the whole when

1:01:42 Unknown Speaker #2

she Yeah, I saw you go into a Starbucks the other day, swipe off all the nor Jones CDs and set up right there by the register, huh? To you just slammed that disk off cracker on the crackle. I was like,

1:01:54 Unknown Speaker #4

one second I got I got more span, but filter. You're still going through your spam? Yeah, Yeah. You know, I start there first and use all every number

1:02:06 Unknown Speaker #2

in there, right? Just a double check.

1:02:08 Unknown Speaker #5

The emails? Yes. When I get spam, I I answer him back. Or if there's a link, I click on it. And then I'm like,

1:02:08 Unknown Speaker #4

My answer.

1:02:16 Unknown Speaker #4

Is this legit? Dr. Are you legit? Excuse me. Can I speak to Chinese Ray Bans, right? Yeah.

1:02:25 Unknown Speaker #3

I like this because it's not that you are being fooled by it. No, I think it could be spared.

1:02:29 Unknown Speaker #4

It might be. Do you want to get to the bottom of You know how it is? Could you know,

1:02:33 Unknown Speaker #5

someone will say I emailed you about it and you're like, I don't I never got it. And then you look at narratives in your spam. Yes. So who's just take All those Other ones aren't legit. You gotta ask. Are

1:02:44 Unknown Speaker #4

you legit? No. It's a

1:02:47 Unknown Speaker #1

great question, because I've heard if you ask if something's legit, they have to respond.

1:02:51 Unknown Speaker #5

Oh, absolutely. Absolutely. And they can't. They will. Do you like that? They're not like they either. Got bit. Feels not from Ghana. Yeah, and he's not a prince, you know. Yeah. And there's no such thing. Is herbal Viagra

1:03:08 Unknown Speaker #3

velvety? Super apologetic? If you're

1:03:10 Unknown Speaker #4

Yeah, they're They're not bad, you know, they're just

1:03:14 Unknown Speaker #5

trying to make a living.

1:03:15 Unknown Speaker #4

I heard you

1:03:16 Unknown Speaker #2

ran a Mac book pro into the ground in less than 12 minutes. You just live it up. I did? Yeah. You don't a lot of dot e x e. I did. I just

1:03:26 Unknown Speaker #5

clicked on There was, like, a ah ah, virus that was actually beina recode that turned into an acid on it. Just melted. Yeah, just melted it.

1:03:39 Unknown Speaker #2

Computer has the Corona viruses that true?

1:03:42 Unknown Speaker #4

It does. That's devastating. What does that

1:03:46 Unknown Speaker #1

tell you, Danny? Uh, it's only now at the end of our time here that really got into you personally. Yeah, there was enough that I mean rockets didn't talk to you about your yourself, Not your daughter for another half an hour. But, I mean, unfortunately, I think we're about out of time.

1:04:02 Unknown Speaker #2

I I I think it's really been an amazing

1:04:05 Unknown Speaker #4

to see what

1:04:06 Unknown Speaker #2

you've dealt with with any Jr has really turned you into a fully ah, well rounded man. And there's a lot of interest. And, you know, like

1:04:15 Unknown Speaker #4

I think I'd like to

1:04:16 Unknown Speaker #2

see you around school more often. You know?

1:04:19 Unknown Speaker #5

I will try. I mean, like, I mean, if you hadn't stopped me, I would have had to leave now, because I gotta get home and start grinding the meat for dinner. And Really? Yeah,

1:04:29 Unknown Speaker #4

well, I don't know if you

1:04:30 Unknown Speaker #2

need any, but I sell. This is another thing about my character. I just came up with a product, all the beef diaper, um, and it replaces that little meat pad that goes underground. So I think those

1:04:41 Unknown Speaker #4

you hate me too. That's why I

1:04:43 Unknown Speaker #2

developed the beef diaper. It's a little more absorb it. It doesn't stick to the meat when you sam it in the pan on.

1:04:50 Unknown Speaker #4

And so all you have to

1:04:51 Unknown Speaker #2

dio is get a get some ground, Chuck, say from your local butcher. You pull, you pull the beat, you take the saran wrap off the top. You get the beef out, you put the beef diaper down. You replace that meet pad. You put the beef diver down, you put the beef back on it, and then you put the saran wrap back on the top.

1:05:09 Unknown Speaker #4

What do you think about that? Do you think it's pretty good? Because I was just roasted pretty hard. Wait, you're saying you go to the store and open up the packages of No, You buy

1:05:19 Unknown Speaker #2

it right? The meat pad, the faulty meet pad. And you're all faulty. They're all faulty. These things, okay? And then you replace the meat pad with my beef with the beef.

1:05:29 Unknown Speaker #4

Yes. And then you could you cook the

1:05:31 Unknown Speaker #2

meat right there if you want to, or you could package it back up. But

1:05:34 Unknown Speaker #2

the beef diaper in there pretty soon.

1:05:34 Unknown Speaker #4

you need to put

1:05:37 Unknown Speaker #4

Cute. It has

1:05:37 Unknown Speaker #2

little wings, you know, sometimes little drawing

1:05:40 Unknown Speaker #1

boos on it. Yeah, yeah,

1:05:41 Unknown Speaker #4

yeah. A lot of people are calling them repurpose diapers. Which I am I here? The complaint? No. Have you ever

1:05:48 Unknown Speaker #3

bought a product that required a three minute explanation of what it was with a lot of follow up questions and still not full clarity. Sure. Okay, Way

1:05:59 Unknown Speaker #5

I wanted to say is, uh I mean, I'm this is no shark tank, but I would like to get

1:06:04 Unknown Speaker #4

in on that. Is that true On below? Okay, well, so far, I was Guinness

1:06:11 Unknown Speaker #2

Book of World Records. Hey, came in and awarded me shortest Shark tank experience because I was quickly asked to leave.

1:06:19 Unknown Speaker #4

That seems like a weird category Guinness these days region our rights and the rebranding

1:06:28 Unknown Speaker #2

themselves with very specific world records. But

1:06:32 Unknown Speaker #4

so far I did get

1:06:34 Unknown Speaker #2

Byron Allen on as an investor, and I go on on comics unleashed every night, and I talk about the beef diaper with Harlem Williams, Lisa Lampanelli and be smooth on. Byron Allen throws me softball, you know, like so. Ah, Bill, what's going on with your beef at home isn't leaking all over the place. And then I I tell him about the beef diaper, right? So

1:06:55 Unknown Speaker #4

busy act incredulous. He's not. He would be good at that. He's not listening at all. I think he's just

1:07:03 Unknown Speaker #2

thinking about the Weather Channel, which

1:07:05 Unknown Speaker #4

owns Smart. He's, you know, he's smart, a good living. Out of junkets goes junkets, which are free. And next TV shows out. It's unbelievable. Honestly, it's like making food out of air. He's a smart guy, so I offered him 10% immediately diaper, and I don't know you're looking

1:07:30 Unknown Speaker #2

to get out out of being so underwater here. You got a lot of overhead,

1:07:34 Unknown Speaker #4

right? I

1:07:34 Unknown Speaker #1

rending money on Bill's idea is a good idea

1:07:37 Unknown Speaker #4

for Yeah. I mean, like, if you could come on, just offer. I just need a little bit of

1:07:41 Unknown Speaker #2

investment up top to get, you know, mawr actual inventory. Ah, little bit of Ah, I need a media coach to help me with the pitch. Follow up questions and fielding those, um, and

1:07:54 Unknown Speaker #4

kind of coming up with a business

1:07:55 Unknown Speaker #5

plan. All right, well, I'll tell you what I can give you. I can give you a gold bar. You probably want to get it steamed or

1:08:04 Unknown Speaker #4

eso You have

1:08:05 Unknown Speaker #2

Ah, shit covered gold bar daughter. Sure. Room toilet.

1:08:09 Unknown Speaker #5

Sure, good. But the thing is too. Is that her? Her fecal matter's caustic. Oh, so you don't want to touch it with your bare hands, are we? I mean, I don't know why you would

1:08:17 Unknown Speaker #3

anyway. You know, it's always good to warn somewhere about Yeah. You never know.

1:08:23 Unknown Speaker #4

Some people aren't squeamish about No, no, No

1:08:26 Unknown Speaker #3

matter. So I mean this story, I can imagine the tail in 50 years. A small company started with 10% of by Byron Allen's money and a shirt covered

1:08:35 Unknown Speaker #2

gold. Yeah, that's you and certain that's America. That is really well you say Bo, is it? Is it? Ah, What? What percentage are you looking for here For the gold bar? No. Whatever. Okay, whatever. You have any

1:08:51 Unknown Speaker #4

percent. All right. No, I've always been good at negotiating, and I'll give you 70%. That means you control beef diaper, but I get the gold bar, all right. Don't even know what the price of gold is right now, but I'm assuming a lot. Alrighty. Uh, alright. What? Denny firm handshake. Big while the way to the ground all the way to the ceiling. Hansen. Wow, That is a deal.

1:09:17 Unknown Speaker #1

You knew when you came in today that bill would find his angel investor. Unbelievable. Yeah, and I'll tell you. It was really nice to sort of get a fleet of Ah, flip behind the curtain is what I was going to say. But it should be a piece. Yeah. No, no, no. Flip a peek behind the curtain to see what's going on in Danny Junior's life. And now maybe we were armed with a little extra information when we have to interact with her around campus. Yes, on. We really appreciate you being here, Danny. Uh, it was It was a blast listening toe. All your stories.

1:09:45 Unknown Speaker #3

Best of luck with your monstrous daughter.

1:09:47 Unknown Speaker #5

No. Yeah, no problem. Like I said, just darter, you've got my permission. If you want order, we're

1:09:53 Unknown Speaker #1

gonna darter. You don't, But yeah. Thank you, Danny. Again And thank you. Everybody out there for listening until next time.